Flower, just had a quick look, sounds like the ideal lifestyle. I have always been drawn to this kind of lifestyle myself being happy and content with what we have. For instance the floor in our house is not level, the door frames are crooked and there is no way they will ever be fixed. I love this old house of ours, it's where we raised our kids and is filled with memories some are sad but most are very happy. I have a great appreciation for nature and what it offers us, but, still have trouble with letting things go that I have but don't need. Only one of my imperfections....Annette

K: My husband and I are currently in marriage counseling and we're going to soon have our fifth year anniversary--we married when I was 26 and hubby 28 (still relatively young). We also have a toddler. When I read your initial post, it was kind of like hearing my husband say the things he said to me. Of course our experience was not identical to yours, but there are similarities. We were no longer in the honeymoon phase within the first six months of marriage and every year, up until we finally started counseling, got harder and harder. I'd like to share with you one of the exercises our marriage counselor is having us go through. It requires both partners to think seriously about what their own needs are. I decided to think of my needs in terms of my marriage: what did I need from my marriage in order to be happy? The length of your list doesn't matter, and even if some of the items sound like wants, rather than needs, write them down anyway. Then each partner, if they feel comfortable, should share their list with the other. The next step is to decide whether or not you think you can meet your partner's needs. It requires honesty to get through this exercise, but it can be very enlightening. I'm still waiting for my husband to share his needs w/me, but I learned a lot about myself when I put my list together. Good luck, whatever you do please realize that you're working toward making the best choice you can.

First of all, I wud like to thank you all for your valuable inputs. I feel much better having spoken my heart out. Nothing has changed in my life yet but atleast I can think more clearly now. Some of you have been very supportive, by that I don't mean agreeing with me but saying things the right way. Some of u are just being nasty & don't seem to have a broader view of life. I don't want to waste my energy answering carla35/mkroopy, but I wud like to reply to asolo. I see my future in the post titled "loveless/sexless marriage". Your reply to this post was interesting. You are advising this person that its ok to leave & be hopeful that she will find someone. I am not nit-picking & I had to give some example for the folks here to understand my husband's personality. Its all these small little things that makes a complete person. And the folks who are picking on me are completely ignoring the positive things that I have mentioned about my husband. Anyway, I came to this forum within days of me developing feeling for the other guy & the reason being I did not feel right about it. I was also worried like the OP of "loveless/sexless marriage" that my life would end up in a similar fashion which is not imagination, as u can see, someone is experiencing it. I do not want to spend all my life waiting for something to happen that may never happen. Another reason I came to this forum was I wanted to ensure I was not blowing things out of proportion. I got enough inputs & I am again thankful to everyone. I think I am going to quit at this stage as like I said earlier people start getting judgemental the moment u say u are attracted to someone. So I may not find any more useful suggestions. You don't have to agree with me but I wud like to hear from someone who has been through a similar situation & how they handled it, but not people who just use this forum to vent out their pent up anger.

It sounds like really, you were not ready to jump right into marriage. That you hadn't finished growing up and exploring life independently as an adult. And at 24, that's hardly surprising. That might be a way to initiate the conversation. It's kind of a variation on the "it's not you - it's me" theme, but it's probably very true. And it may be exactly what your wife is going through also. Each of you grew in your own directions during college -- which is good and right and part of why you go to college. But you grew in different directions. You grew apart. And the choice you're looking at now is to stop growing so you don't grow even further apart -- or to go your separate ways. There's a good argument for ending things sooner rather than later -- to preserve the friendhsip, love and respect you have left.