Search term: Ballardize.

Here is a link that might be useful: Ballardize

http://www.ehow.com/how_5157048_paint-black-rubbed-finish-look.html
I am researching the same thing, but with the oak base showing through rather than a gray paint underneath the black. This link looked helpful to me.

Thank you both so much! Both of these were really helpful I also found a couple of things about prepping stained and sealed furniture, in case they are helpful to you, deedee.

Here's a Q& A from doityourself.com:

Q. I have a dining room set from the 70's that is stained oak. I really hate the stained color and was thinking of painting the set a cream color and sanding the edges to give it an antiqued look. I plan on starting with the hutch. I am going to wash it with TSP, then sand it because it has a shiny finish and then prime it with Killz so the stain does not leak through. Do I need to strip the stain off, or can I paint over it? Should I then sand after the coat of primer, especially the edges to begin the antiquing? Or should I prime, then lightly sand and then antique it after each coat of paint I do?

A. You can paint over the stain and finish. Wash the piece with mineral spirits to remove all the grease, grit, and grime. For the shine on the finish, scuff sand it with a green scotch brite pad to knock down the sheen. Use a primer so that the paint has a good surface to bond to. Start sanding after the paint is applied. Stripping will make the job more durable, but I have had long-term success painting over an existing finish. Surface preparation, primer, and good paint make all the difference.

Read more: http://www.doityourself.com/stry/qnadecorate4#ixzz0kRGUZFZs

and a link to advice about painting a finished table in the paint forum.

Here is a link that might be useful: Paint Forum Posting

Thanks for the info. The piece I want to do is in storage for 2 more months and I am just itching to get my hands on it! I will watch for updates and tips as you move along with the project.

I bookmarked this one - if you want paint showing through you'd prime and paint with a gray paint first. Check out her other tutorials.

I did an unfinished pine table by sanding with 100 grit, priming with interior/exterior primer (BM Fresh Start) then painting a coat of BM Moorgard exterior paint (didn't completely cover the primer in some spots intentionally), then a coat of the MoorGard with some darker Valspar mixed in (again, not even), then finally dry-brushed some of the dark Valspar to make it look like that darker color was the original color and the rest had faded and weathered on the porch. I haven't gotten around to sanding back the edges yet.

Of course if you search Ballardized you'l find rjinga's black chest that she just sold, it's currently on first page.

Here is a link that might be useful: Centsational

Sounds like you've got it under control but here's another tutorial for a "hand-rubbed" black finish.

Here is a link that might be useful: Hand-rubbed black finish

Wow, THANK YOU! Had to put the project on hold for a bit but I'm ready to get started today. Thank you all for your tips and links--I feel really well prepared now. Ajsmama, your table is just heavenly. Really, really beautiful effect!