We've lost our sweet Rex.........

17 years ago

I can't even believe I am typing these words.

Rex, my beautiful cat, died on Monday. I feel so lost right now, angry because of the way it all happened, and mostly sad because I just miss him so much already.

He was 17, and had health challenges, but was doing great with all of those. On Sunday, I noticed that it seemed he was breathing kind of fast. We took him to the emergency vet, who was pretty much a jerk. He told us he had heart failure. We just couldn't leave him there, so we brought him home and brought him to our regular vet Monday morning. It turned out that she wasn't there, so we had to see one of the other vets.

While they had him in the back, he went into cardiac arrest.

Of course, we knew this day would come, but it just wasn't supposed to be like this. I didn't leave him at the emergency clinic, cause I didn't want him to be in a strange place, and not have us there...but that's pretty much the way it ended up anyways. I don't think I will ever get past that. I wanted to be the last thing he saw, not some stranger. I feel like I gave him a good life, but I wasn't there when he needed me the most. I let him down.

Thanks for letting me ramble, here's a pic of him.

Rest in peace, my sweet boy, I will always love you.

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Comments (44)

nodakgal
17 years ago
(((Ritamay)))I am so sorry. I know it hurts horribly.
You did what any pet lover would do and taking him to the vets. I'm sorry you weren't there when he went, but that could happen to any of us, please don't blame yourself! You didn't let him down!
barb_from_pa
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, but you certainly did not let him down. You were taking good care of him by taking him to the vet. Those eyes are beautiful. I know you will miss him terrribly, but I'm also sure you will have many happy memories of Rex.

Hugs
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irishdancersgram
17 years ago
It is so hard to lose a fur baby...Remember all the good times and know, he's at peace....

Hugs
lisa_fla
17 years ago
So sorry. I know how bad it hurts. Its not your fault. You did what any responsible pet owner would have done. He was a good looking cat. If he could have been saved, he was in the right place when it happened.
angela_nor_calif
17 years ago
It's so hard to lose a pet. ((((Ritamay))))
barbara3
17 years ago
Oh my, he was a handsome boy - just look at those eyes! I'm so sorry for what you are going through. All of us who love our pets know how you feel right now.
socks
17 years ago
Oh Rita, don't be blaming yourself for not being there at the end. You didn't know how it was all going to end. You WERE there for 17 years, giving your dear Rex a wonderful life. It's such a heartbreak, losing a loving pet, even though you know it has to end. See if you can do something special in his memory, plant a bush somewhere, put together a little photo album, or some other meaningful project. I know you'll miss him terribly.

I'm so sorry.
Granlan_TX
17 years ago
You must not blame yourself, Ritamay; you provided your sweet Rex with the best of care and all the love in the world. I believe Rex felt your comfort and care til the very last.
tinainky
17 years ago
You have my heartfelt condolences. I know exactly how much it hurts.
Linda Wayman
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss, but Rita, you did not let him down. You were there for him doing what you could to see that he had the best of care. You gave him 17 years of love and recieved 17 years of love. I know your heart is breaking, but I hope you get some consolation knowing you gave him a good life. Rex was a beautiful boy. May he rest in peace.
((((Ritamay))))

Linda
caflowerluver
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself up, you did everything you could. He was a very pretty kitty, especially with those eyes. The pain will lessen in time but it will take time.
Clare
zeetera
17 years ago
You sought help for him, and he probably knew that you were trying to help. You took good care of him so that he could live that long, so please don't blame yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss.
mylab123
17 years ago
It hurts so very much when we lose our pets - those who aren't "pet people" often do not understand that type of pain. I'm so sorry. You gave your pet many well-loved years and Rex gave them right back to you. Remember him with smiles.
kim_okla
17 years ago
I'm so sorry Rita.
ann_in_florida
17 years ago
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. 17 years is a very long time to be with such a good, loving friend. Please don't feel that you failed your sweet baby! It seems to me that you did every possible thing you could to sane him.
lynn_d
17 years ago
Oh sweetheart, you did not let him down. You were with him thru all of his life and you loved him with all of you heart. He knows that.

You might want to stop by Pet Loss, they do a candle ceremony every Monday evening to honor those pets that we love and have lost. They also have a board that is kind and helpful in helping us heal.

Here is a link that might be useful: Pet Loss
williamsburgjane
17 years ago
Rita, I am so sorry about Rex, but you didn't let him down. I know how hard it is to lose a furbaby, but just remember "The Rainbow Bridge".
Kathsgrdn
17 years ago
I'm sorry you lost Rex, but seems to me you took very good care of him. (((((Ritamay)))))
samkaren
17 years ago
RIta
You had 17 wonderful years with your furbaby..that is a lot of memories you will cherish.

We had the same thing happen with our EKO who was 19 when he died. We took him to an emergency vet and she said his chances were only 10% he would live through the night. I made the decision to put him down which was the hardest thing I have ever done. I was looking for the miracle pill or shot for him but knew it didn't exist.

DH and I were able to say our goodbyes and we know the last words he heard were "I love you".

SamKaren
your resident DJ
dotmom
17 years ago
Rita, I'm sending my heartfelt sympathies on the loss of your sweet Rex. I know the pain you are feeling. He is over the Rainbow Bridge, waiting for you. ((((Hugs)))) Dottie
hollyinontario
17 years ago
It's so obvious that you cared deeply for Rex and he knew you loved him. Pets do look at their declining health and impending death differently than we do. They often retreat and hide when they are feeling poorly. We are the ones that grieve contrary to their nature. Rex may have not wanted you to see him in a weakened state at the very end. You did your best to get him emergency care. Heart failure may at that geezerly age been caused by something irreversible. We never have our furbabies long enough. As they become more frail, they become even more precious to us. I've always said that the deeper our grief, the more deeply our caring. I've always honoured the loss of my cats by making a difference in another rescues life whether it is by donation or adoption. The love they gave me back is recognized in that way. This is the way that I value their love higher than the depth of my grief but the timing has to be right and that is very individual. Sending a cyberhug.
Marilyn Sue
17 years ago
I am sorry to hear of your great loss Rita. It is really very, very hard to lose a pet. Here is a big hug for you and hope as the days go by it gets easier for you. He knew you loved him.

Sue
lydia1959
17 years ago
So sorry (((Ritamay))). Rex was a handsome boy.
ronf_gw
17 years ago
I'm so sorry Rita. We just lost Oscar last week and I realize how much it hurts.

Ron
Jasdip
17 years ago
Ritamay, What a gorgeous boy! Rex was obviously very much loved. 17 years is a wonderful length of time to have your furbaby. It's never long enough, no matter how long you have him, I know.

We all feel your pain very much. I just finished reading Dotmom's post and am sitting here crying over all the pets that have gone over the Rainbow Bridge.....mine included.

Hugs to you and your family.
Happy_Go_Lucky_Gayle
17 years ago
Oh Rita, just breaks my heart. ((((Rita))))) He was such a Beautiful Fellow. I know he will be missed.
clubm
17 years ago
I am so sorry. What a beautiful face. (((Rita)))
ritamay91710
Original Author
17 years ago
Thanks for all the nice posts, everyone. I know I am crying for my own selfish reasons. It's just so hard.
It's almost like I can handle that he is gone. It's just the way it happened.
Let me tell you just a bit about my guy. My sister and BIL found him in a field, but couldn't keep him (allergies), so Joe and I ended up with him. I didn't know then, but he would turn out to be my best friend. I can't tell you how many times I have cried into his long soft fur. He was just always there.
He was such a cool cat. He played fetch like a dog, loved to play in the sink, also played "soccer" on the pool table.
We were so blessed to have him for 17 years, despite his health issues. He's had chronic renal failure for years, which we treated with a special diet, along with different meds and fluids. He also had hyperthyroidism. Thru it all, he still loved us.
Here's a couple more pics, sorry to be indulgent. I just think he's so beautiful. And I can say that cause it has nothing to do with me. :)
organic_donna
17 years ago
ritamay,
You said in your post "I don't think I'll ever be able to get past this". I felt the same way when my mother died. She had Alzheimer's and she died a very painful death. I always blamed myself for not doing more to try and help her in the end. I blamed myself for many years. I finally realized that blaming myself was not going to change the outcome. All the self loathing in the world could not reset the past. That's when I finally forgave myself and let go of the guilt.
Don't waste precious time blaming yourself for not being with him when he passed away. Remember all the good times you had together. You gave him as much love as you received from him. He sounds like he was a wonderful friend. You were both very lucky to have had each other for so long. He died a fast and painless death. He is now with all the other cats in heaven and they are all running and playing together. Forgive yourself sooner rather than later. Believe me when I say it's not healthy to live with guilt.
Donna
trinitytx
17 years ago
Please, please, understand that you gave Rex the best life he could have ever had. He was hanging on for you, and now you feel awful that he was not in a comfortable situation when he passed.
Know deep in your heart, that you gave him the best life ever. Because you did.

Trin
dotmom
17 years ago
Ritamay...the picture of Rex at the bathroom sink made me laugh....the last year of our "Babies life, she would go to the sink and want us to turn the water on. then she would drink. We tried to run water in the bowl, then turn it off, but that wasn't what she wanted, it had to be running. So DH & I would take turns turning the water on, then off when she was through. Finally I found a kitty fountain in a catalog and she took to that right away. Honey, believe me when I say in time you will look back at some of your memories of your dear Rex and be able to chuckle.I'm thinking of you. If ever you want to "talk' let me know and I'll give you my email address. Dottie
Tally
17 years ago
Rita, I am so very sorry for your loss. Rex was such a handsome boy.

Please add his name to the Bridge list for next Monday night's candle ceremony. Candles light across the globe at the exact same time in remembrance of lost loved ones, and in prayers for those with Special needs who need support.

And if you like, you can post a tribute to Rex on the website in his memory.

This website is very powerful healing:

Here is a link that might be useful: The International Rainbow Bridge, Candle Ceremony & Tribute website.
danihoney
17 years ago
Oh I'm so sorry, he was a handsome boy. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I understand so well how you wanted to be there. That just shows what kind of love you have for Rex.
rthummer
17 years ago
Ritamay, Rex lived so long in spite of his health issues I believe because he was so loved by you. You know that is very unusual for cats to live that long with renal failure even with a special diet. But, he had a reason to live because he felt loved and someone to love. Never blame yourself because you gave Rex all you had and he knew it. They know. Even the Bible says animals know their maker and if God gave them that ability, then He must have given them the ability to recognize and give love. Rex stayed with you as long as He could because He wanted to be with You as I feel He loved you as His friend also. His little body just need to rest. His good memories will always be with you. God Bless you Ritamay. I am sorry for your loss. (((((Hugs))))
donna37
17 years ago
So sorry for your loss, sounds like he got wonderful care living that long with all his health problems. He was a beautiful 'found' kitty and had a loving home. (((Rita)))
LorifromUtah
17 years ago
I'm sorry you lost him Rita.
(Rita)

I wish you wouldn't beat yourself up.

I am certain you were the last thing Rex saw.
Rex had been in cardiac distress for sometime before you got him to the vet's office Monday and by the time he was taken from you to the back most likely he was was too far gone to know or recognize anything.

Lori

Bless you and Bless Rex.
He looks like he was quite a character!
donna37
17 years ago
So sorry for your loss, sounds like he got wonderful care living that long with all his health problems. He was a beautiful 'found' kitty and had a loving home. (((Rita)))
User
17 years ago
What a pretty boy he was. As someone who has gone thru this more times than I would like, I know how you're feeling. A piece of him is in your heart forever. You took good care of him and the only bad thing about pets is they don't live near long enough.
pianolady2008
17 years ago
Such a beautiful fur baby!! So sorry for your loss. We have a Golden Retriever that's almost 15 years old and we dread the time when we must say goodbye to her! Please know that we care and we're very sorry!!
wildchild
17 years ago
I'm so sorry. It is always so hard to lose our pets.
koda04
17 years ago
i am so sorry for your loss
liz
17 years ago
Rita...Rita...Rita...there just aren't words to tell you how sorry I am...Please don't beat yourself up for not being there as he made his final way to his resting place...he knows you loved him and will be waiting for you to be together again...(((Rita)))
tammyms
17 years ago
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Rex. He was a georgeous kitty. He had a wonderful life with you and he'll be waiting for you!
solstice98
17 years ago
I'm so so sorry for your loss.

We've lost our sweet Rex.........

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