It depends on many things....your mom's age and general health mostly. From all that I know, it's really no big deal. She will feel better after not worse. The incision is not cutting any abdominal muscles nor is there any bone involved and she says "don't come"....so don't. She will be home either same day or the next and can call your sister if she really needs something. Save your visit for another time. Look at it this way....by the time you get to the airport and make the trip and get to your mother's from Logan.....she will be all recovered. I vote listen to your mom!! Linda C

Are you a stay-at-home mom? Yes If so, a) what age was your child(ren) when you began to stay home with them? since birth. I graduated nsg school 6 days before she was born but I've never put it to use YET why do you chose to stay home with your children? I find being at home keeps me very busy & fulfilled. I've never understood SAHM who claim they are bored. I have 1 daughter, 3 dogs, a home & my husband's business I do much of the work for plus I made sure to start involving myself & my daughter in school & plenty of activities. Gosh if I never have to work I would be so happy BUT chances are that when the last of my kids is in fulltme school I'll at last work part-time. are you financially secure enough to be home and not work? Like everyone else we could always use the extra $. We don't have a retirement a/c set up, we have to buy our own very expensive health ins., we havn't been on a great vacation in several yrs, we no longer go to fancy dinners, our home could use allot more remodeling, our cars are old but in good condition & paid for & I am always comparison shopping BUT we have no debt despite every month praising when we've paid the last bills. Our daughter is in private school & already takes 4 sets of lessons at age 3 & when we have our day trips or do happen to go out we truly go all out & enjoy, plus since I have no family help at all I have been lucky enough to be able to pay for a mothers helper or sitter for those times I need to catch up on the home, errands or the business paperwork or go to my many medical appts (I was diagnosed with MS a yr ago). All in all I'm happy, but my husband is self employed & he'd like to make a switch right now & he can't b/c we don't have enough $ in the bank nor another income. I had a stay at home Mom when I grew up & feel there is nothing better. I think that while kids are young I prefer being aorund for safety & to be involved in all the firsts, then they start activities & who else is going to chaperone them everywhere & then later on I want to be around so they have support & hopefully I can prevent them from making some bad choices that they might make had they not had any parent at home during the day after school. what are the ages and gender of your kids? daughter age 3 & working on #2 Michie

My parents were married for 25 yrs when they divorced. Their marriage didn't come first at all. I don't know that even us kids came first...LOL. My mother has not re-married, but my father has. I have been on both sides of the fence with step-families. I was an adult when my father remarried. I have taken my approach with my SS's from what I have learned as a child of divorce, and from the mistakes his wife has made. 1. The marriage to my DH is of equal importance as his children. 2. The children need one on one time with their father regardless of how good our relationship is as a family. Whether intact or not, children need one on one time with each parent. 3. If anything were to happen to my DH, the chilren will recieve all monies from his life insurance policy, any items of his that they want, etc. It has been made clear to me and my siblings that we are not welcome to a personal relationship with our father. We are allowed to have one with him AND his wife (which is fine, but sometimes you need one on one with your parents) When I got married the first time, my father was dating his now wife. He brought her to my wedding. That was the first time I met her. They had come from out of state (about 1,000 miles) to our wedding. I welcomed her openly. She was awful. Very rude to my brothers, my mother, and disrespectful to my grandparents. She made it clear that she didn't feel that I was old enough to get married, and that she would never allow her daughter (same age as me) to get married. (I was young...21) Six months later, her daughter married a meth addict. Nice.... Anyway, over the years she's pulled some pretty crazy stuff. Alienating one of my brothers totally, and pi$$ing of the rest of us. Here's the thing. I still invite her to all family functions becuase she's my fathers wife. I remarried a while back, and she was invited to the wedding, and she sat with my in-laws, etc. I would never dream of treating her with any disrespect. I don't have to like what she does, but she is my father's wife, and that is the choice he made. My relationship with my father isn't what it use to be, and that's pretty sad, but that is his choice. I love him regardless. So, understanding both side of things, my goal is to foster a positive, fulfulling relationship between my DH and SS's. They all deserve it. What's funny, is that my DH would never allow me (or anyone else for that matter) to come between him and his kids. Nor would he allow my SS's to be disrespectful to me. I've been lucky, my SS's are very good to me. I don't know what I'd do if they weren't. I know I'd be crushed. I just don't think it's ever OK to exclude a bio OR step parent. When my SS had his 12th b-day party, he was mad at his mother still (he had moved in with us a yr before)and I told him "you invite your Mom, or no party...period". He got the message. We're teaching him tolerance. It can go a long way, just like manners.

Ashleys X can dethrown my ex who certainly earned father of the year in 2007. I don't want to hijack your post, just share with you my similar experience... When I was 8 months pregnant with my son, his dad quit his job because they wouldn't give him e/o weekend off for his visitation with his then 3 yr old daughter. He didn't work for the next three years. He was a SAHD to our son..Really he had a 3yr vacation to smoke pot and play video games--After 3 years I'd had enough and left. He claimed he couldn't afford to stay and would have to move cross country to live with his parents and of course... I was the worst person in the world for taking his son away from him. So, figuring I'd been supporting us all for 3 years anyway I didn't need him to pay child support. I took the state minimum $25 mo told him to get a job, get on his feet here, and we could reevaluate in 2 years. For 3 years all I heard was how poor he was, how he couldn't afford anything when I took him back to court I found in 2006 he made $47,000 And paid $300 in support-for the whole year! All the while sending my son home in rags that were too small and keeping the clothes he arrived in to refresh his wardrobe there. Sorry, I'm a little off track here..when it came time for modification he gave the first judge a sob story about how he didn't have time to fill out any of the paperwork he'd gotten. He had the same 20 days I did but whatever the judge gave him an extension-but my ex wasn't available to come to court one month later- because he would be on vacation with the kids out of state so the judge gave him two months :) I was hot, but to pacify me the judge ordered he pay $100 for each of those months. DCS distributed it to his daughter-whatever. So 2 months later we show up in court again the judge orders him to pay around $500 and he starts running his mouth about his other children he pays support for....His 18 year old son who he no longers owes support to, and the daughter that he pays $56 month for!!!The judge didn't find that any reason to discount his support to this child so he started complaining about childcare telling the judge that he wants receipts for my daycare expenses because I leave our son with my then 12 yo daughter totally implying that I'm a bad mom. WHAT AN IDIOT!!! Child support and Daycare are two seperate issues here. In the three years we were separated I never asked him for a dime for our son for anything, not daycare, a pair of shoes, not a cough drop and for him to try to smear me infront of a judge got me so angry when the judge ordered $465 for support the state's attorney recommended an incremental increase so I'd get 1/2 for 3 months before I got a full month and I said NO and asked the judge to say NO-she did, then she ordered he pay that full amount back to the day he didn't have his paperwork ready. Then I went home and gathered all my daycare receipts and mailed them in for my 58% reimbursement, and recently DS had an ear infection requiring drops that were not covered by insurance- the cost $73. You bet I sent that receipt to DCS too. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about what I get from him now -- then I remember how hard it was for me all that time on my own, that our son wasn't worth 1% of his 2006 income and I think of him rambling on in court and I feel just fine. And my X has not once since then whined about being poor. I know it sucks to do with less for now, especially in these hard times and I'm sorry. Hopefully in a couple years he'll have a better job and you can modify and he will pay more-in my state it costs more to raise a 12yr. and support is greater.