Hi nohandle, All those animals are getting along just fine! We humans seem to have different plans in mind though. I guess if you want things a certain way, you'll have to figure out how to protect them from the wild animals or maybe put out some sacrificial stuff for them........like weeds! I made large tomato cages out of concrete reinforcing wire, and tied them together with twine. The birds love pulling that twine out for their nests. At first, I was irritated, but soon realized that it was nice to have something for them to use. Sometimes you can find enjoyment in seeing how you've helped so many other little beings. But if you're into just pleasing yourself, then you might be out of luck and in for alot of frustration. I do understand your frustration though. I had to quit feeding the birds so I wouldn't attract raccoons......who would do major damage to my yard, trees and watergardens.

It’s November 2018. I haven’t had my haircut since my last bad haircut from about 2 or 3 years ago. I really have never had a good haircut. Ever. I have never walked out of a salon appointment and said, “Wow!”, I look and feel fabulous! Never. Honestly, I’ve had so many bad haircuts as a woman, bad hair color jobs. My last bad haircut escapade was today at a curly hair specific salon in my area. I have frizzy hair at times, with some annoying fly always, and a slight wave. I asked for help with this. They said they could help. But they did nothing to help alleviate those issues. I brought pictures, asked what they thought would look best with my hair texture, density, diameter, face shape, lifestyle and the owner pointed to one said style. So I trusted her. I told them about my bad hair cut experiences and I was worried about getting another bad haircut. I told the trainee and the owner who is supposed to be the most experienced and best at what she does there. I told them what I did not want, what looked terrible on me in the past, where I wanted my bangs to fall (a swoop like choppy bang that was longer and fell below my eyebrows but not poking me in my eyes. You know half way between my brows and eyes. And not make them thin looking. And to give me layers that would give me the look of width at my cheekbones, to shorten the appearance of my long thin face. I got instead faux layers, that didn’t add width at all to my face, short thin wispy bangs that are a bit above my brows. She cut them way too short and said that she would do what I asked and have them fall longer between my brows and eyes. She suggested I get a straight across bang, cuz she thought it would look better(the owner said this, and did my bangs). She did not do what she said. She did the opposite of what I told her that I wanted. It’s called Anti-Listening. Or horrible customer service. Let’s just give our customers the opposite of what the asked for! She gave me the worst short ugly bangs that I told them not to give me. I hate my hair/haircut. I look so ugly now. I’m so upset that this happened to me again. I’ve never been to this salon before and got the trainee who they told me had 13 years as a stylist in a salon. Which was a lie. She just recently graduated from hair school and has only been in the field for a year and a half. I was definitely deceived. I would’ve never gone to her, if I knew this. She did basic stuff and the owner came over quite a bit telling her how to do this and that. I was wondering why a experienced stylist would need help with the most basic of cutting techniques.... and supposedly she was trained thoroughly in the techniques of the curly salon, as the urged me, that I could have utter confidence her abilities, still not knowing that she was inexperienced as a stylist. It was only until after I was getting my haircut by her, the trainee, that she wasn’t experienced really. I was like, Oh Shirt! WTF. Then, you would think the owner would be an awesome stylist and not butcher someone’s hair, let alone bangs. But she butchered my bangs. I look terrible. Then they wanted to take my picture of before and after. The before was fine. But the after pics my stylist took, were the most unflattering pics, that made my nose and eyes look, unflattering. I would not agree to them putting my face up on their site. Just the back of my hair. Ugh. How am I going to go out in public? They said to me, wow you look great! But they never asked me how I liked my hair. I was not happy. I felt depressed and was in shock. Then it came time to pay. $40. Then the tip. I hate the whole tip issue. I hate tipping. It’s stupid. It’s forced guilt. I was confused. They had the labels above the tips like this... Good(15%,), Great(20%), (Wow!(30 or 40%), Custom etc. I wasn’t sure what to do. I was afraid to do no tip, even in spite of my bad haircut experience. So I picked (Good-15%). The desk attendant asked me how I liked my cut, I just said the non committal thing, “I don’t know, I have to let it sink in”. I really wanted to say, I look like s**t. Thanks for making me want to cover my head with a paper bag! And the owner came up to me and asked if I remembered all the instructions about how to style my hair. I said yeah, the best I can remember. But nothing in asking how satisfied I was. She really didn’t care. And my stylist just said a lame goodbye and scoffed me off, like dandruff and moved onto her next client. Whatever. Then their bathroom was dimly lit, I could barely see in there and there wa nothing to dry my hands on, and barely any soap. This is supposed to be an upscale salon. And the bathroom was just bad. My face now looks longer and thinner than it did with my longer hair and not wider in the least. In whom can I trust with my hair? I think the reality is, No One. No matter what they say, no matter what you tell them, what pictures you bring, no matter what you emphatically tell them no to do to you, or do, they will do whatever they dang well please. And I don’t believe you can ever know until the damage has been done, what you will ultimately get in the end. It’s really unbelievable. What’s wrong with this world? I am so not wanting to step into another salon ever again, when you just can’t trust any stylist to give you a good cut/style. I honestly don’t know what to do. The only thing I can think of is just not get my haircut again. Cuz it just doesn’t end well. Sad.

An interesting observation. Though an occasional visitor only, one of the reasons I return to this forum (and other Gardenweb forums) is the general upscale level of maturity on it, likely combined with intelligent moderation. There are the usual veteran members who post good advice and try to help folks out. I used to frequent many, many forums only to watch then descend into complete (insert negative connotation here) matches, and then gave up completely because of what a pointless exercise it had become. I think that (besides the state of the world in general), the whole computer demographic has changed somewhat with the computer becoming much more of an "appliance". Therefore expectations are somewhat changed from what they used to be. (I can make that statement based on what I'm seeing as a service tech on the job.) Fortunately I work with some very qualified people who are much more likely to explain why they will or will not agree with you, rather than get into a yelling match. Hopefully this concept will prevail here and the trend you mention is only a minor aberration.

It sounds like a very difficult situation for you Jess... I doubt any of us will be able to help much, because if what you say is all accurate, then your SD isn't really behaving all that rationally, and there's not too much you can do about that. It does sound like he has a deep-seated disrespect for women as well as a short fuse. I can't imagine throwing my daughter out of the house at night for anything but the absolute worst behavior. What do you suppose would happen if you had a private talk with you mother along these lines: "I'm trying to be responsible by working to put myself through college, and save money by living at home. You know I can't afford a place of my own without going deep into debt, which I don't think would be wise. Since I am an adult, you and SD have a right to expect me to help around the house to help earn my keep. Do you think we could agree on what would be a reasonable list of chores for me to do -- and that if I do these chores as agreed, you and SD would stop pressuring me to leave?" Then ask you mom to discuss it with your SD? It might not work -- but then, you wouldn't really be any worse off for having tried.