OY. You are a good considerate hostess.

I think LindaC put it best once upon a time when she said there were 'Cafeteria Kosher' Jews (me among them). That means we all pick and choose our standards.

I would ask. That being said, best to stick to dairy. You can add fish that has fins and scales (no catfish or sharks, or shellfish).

They could be kosher at home but eat non-kosher in a big way out.

It would be best to ask them - people who keep kosher can vary a lot in what they will accept when eating at a not kosher home. Since they accepted your dinner invitation, it is unlikely that they are at the most extreme end of the spectrum.

We keep kosher and would eat a meat meal (assuming it was kosher meat) or a dairy meal at a friend's house. By the way, for those more strict than us, the containers the food is cooked in would be more of an issue than the dishes.
Dairy might be easier for you - partly depending on how available kosher meat is where you live. I always find it easier to come up with dairy desserts.

Fish doesn't count as meat so you can serve it at a dairy meal. Just remember that it has to be fish that have scales and fins. Shell fish aren't kosher.

If you have questions in planning the meal, I'd be happy to chime in and there are some others here that can help too.

Sharon, I had a number of Jewish friends in Toronto. A few of them were a little more observant. But, they never minded eating at our house. If your guests were concerned they wouldn't have accepted the invitation.

I always served meat. (not pork) And I was very careful not to use any dairy in the meal. So no milk or butter in mashed potatoes, and no baked potatoes with sour cream. Instead I would make something like the Parisienne Potatoes. Vegetables are okay, as long as you don't butter them. And just make sure that you don't make a dessert that has any dairy in it.

Ann

I agree, you are a considerate hostess. If you are comfortable, it's ok to call and ask, which is something I always appreciate when we are invited somewhere.

We are often on the kosher end of that scenario, being invited to dinners at J's business associates. I don't like to be a pain, so if they serve something we're uncomfortable with (usually J has more of an issue that I do, he's much more observant out of the house) we usually just eat whatever side dishes, salad or appetisers are OK. We're very careful not to give the appearance of not eating.

If you don't call, or if they are vague when you do call, you are generally safer with poultry than with red meat, safer with kosher fish than with poultry. If they were worried about eating off of your dishes, they wouldn't have accepted the invitation.

I can't wait to hear your menu! I'm sure it will be amazing.

AM
The Dinner Chronicles

Among people who keep kosher, it is never rude to find out what they do or don't eat. Within the kosher community there are different approaches to keeping kosher, so we always need to check with one another.

If they accepted and didn't say anything, there's a good chance they eat everything outside the home. But it's no fun for you to make something special and find out that it's something they don't eat, so ask.

I hope I am not to late in replying but here goes.

I agree with all the above posts that it is not only acceptable to ask about kosher needs, it is also actually thoughtful to do so. If you are at all uncomfortable you can call your expected guests a few days ahead and ask if there are any dietary restrictions you should know about. That opens the question up to food allergies and vegetarian needs as well as the kosher issues.

Most people who have dietary restrictions find a way to make those needs known before accepting an invitation. However, I have a cousin who thought her hosts were vegetarians and that she would not have a problem eating at their home. They were not and she was in serious trouble. Every dish that was served included some form of shellfish that she could not and would not eat. It was an awkward evening that caused continued conflict at work for her husband. The whole mess could have been avoided if one or the other of them (host or guest) had thought to ask the question.

Thanks guys for all your help.

I am very comfortable making a Kosher meal. I grew up in a Jewish neighbourhood and babysat for several Jewish families who kept Kosher.

Stu and Lori know we are not a Jewish family so the fact they accepted the invite indicates to me that they are comfortable eating in my non Kosher home.

My question was, is there any point to me making a Kosher meal ( ie not mixing meat and dairy) when I don't have Kosher pots, pans and dishes or should I just make a meal as I normally would?

My inclination is go with a full dairy meal and make no big deal about it.

Sharon I can only tell you what I do for my more-kosher-than-me friends. I buy kosher killed animals and don't mix milk and meat. I check ingredients. I use my own non-kosher pots and pans. I don't know what your friends would do/not do, and you are seeing almost all of us say 'ask'. It will only take a second and save you a lot of time.

My own brother, who converted 35 years ago when he married his wife, won't eat in my house. It is because I have cooked pork roasts and ham in the oven and bacon in the microwave and mixed dairy and meat together,so everything in my kitchen is not Kosher. He is very strict. Like everyone else says, ask.
Clare