Is it possible that you are separating them too much?

When we added a new kitty recently I was a little nervous because the office I got him from said he was found (trapped) in an abandoned house situation (probably feral). He hid in the back of the cage when we visited several times before deciding to take him and taking on the issues with the feral personality possibilities. He has been with us for 6 mos now. Still a little skittish,but he relates well with the other 2 male neutered cats and is attached at the hip to my daughter. He usually runs from me but I think that's because she was able to build a relationship with him since she got him during the summer when she had big blocks of time to spend with him in her room while he was first isolated from the rest of the animals. It was so funny the first few days. He kept approaching our middle cat, Handsome (under supervision, of course) Well, Handsome wanted nothing to do with this new addition. He was a little more than angry that this new kitty appeared at the house. Actually we got the kitty to be Handsome's buddy because the oldest cat is kind of antisocial and doesn't play much with Handsome. Any way, when Louie (new kitten) came anywhere near Handsome he freaked out. Hissed, spit ran from the upstairs. That was the first couple of days. Then Handsome took to laying on a dresser in the upstairs hall and watching Louie and every time we would allow the new kitty out Handsome would spit and hiss but keep his post on the dresser to watch him closely. BTW during this time Handsome hissed and spit at everyone in the house, cats, dogs, people. He was just plain miserable. We were floored because Handsome is such a lovey kitty thought for sure he would just love having a new bud. My daughter was in tears for fear it wouldn't work out but we told her just give it time. Have had plenty of cats over the years and it always does. Haven't ever had a situation where it didn't. It did. After a few weeks of angry Handsome behavior they made friends. Now they are inseparable. I am so surprised that things aren't working out differently for you. Handsome used Louie's box of course to mark it but he didn't spray. I don't know about the male/female thing since I've always had males. I hope somebody has a solution. The only thing I can think of is just bringing them together more.

As for the peeing thing. Did you have her checked for any type of urinary infection. Cats that are litter trained usually don't go outside of their box unless they have a medical issue or I guess a behavioral one. My SIL cat started going out of the box once but that was because she has 3 cats and one box and wasn't the best at scooping frequently. Hope you don't have to give the kitty up.

I wish I could offer you some encouragement, but from your description of the situation, I don't think it's likely that your girl is going to adjust anytime soon ... or perhaps ever. She is still very young, however, so it's possible that she may develop some self-assurance as she matures. However, the damage has been done between her and Simba, and I don't think she'll outgrow her fear of him.

Simba should have never been allowed to attack her, but that's hindsight now. He sees her as an intruder who is easily victimized, and she sees him as a dangerous threat. Those are very difficult behaviors and attitudes to change after 6 mos.

Rather than taking her back to the shelter where she will be among the least adoptable (past the "cute kitten" stage, timid, fearful of other animals, and with litterbox avoidance issues) of what is probably an overflowing cat population, I suggest you try to rehome her privately to one of your friends or family. It's no kind of life for her to live in mortal fear of Simba. BTW, I do hope you have them separated so that Simba can't get to her while you are out of the house.

It's a very sad situation, and I feel so bad for your little girl. I hope you can find her a home where she can blossom.

Laurie

When I brought Henry into my house about 10 days ago, I had no idea what to expect. This is a confident cocky litle guy handraised by me since he was 4 weeks. The 17 year old Louie barely acknowleges him, and Maddie, Phoebe and Lily kind of like him, but nasty Izzy growls at him all the time. But then she does that to everyone. He'll learn who to avoid. He did jump on 14 year old Maddie's back to roll and play and she just looked at him. I'd try to work w/ it a little longer..since she was a feral.

You do have to watch male cats around female kittens...

First of all, is he neutered? I hope so... by this time he certainly should be.

Male cats can "practice" the mating ritual on female kittens...sometimes breaking their neck in the process.

Eeek! Not exactly what I was hoping to hear from everyone but I guess what I expected. Simba is neutered and Jinx is spayed. We tried to bring them together in the beginning but it just seemed so stressful for both that I let them stay seperated hoping that eventually they would adjust on their own. I watch Simba as much as possible when I'm at home to make sure he won't attack her, but I can't be there all the time. If I do see him going in the room where she is or hear them together I immediately run in to either seperate or scold Simba. He know's he's done something wrong when I come in because he won't come near me and hides. I am looking for someone with in my friend/family circle to take her and am hoping someone will be able to... Any other suggestions? or is there no hope for the situation?

They will eventually get along just fine....

Do keep them separated if you are not home or unable to supervise. I would do this until Jinx has reached about 6 months or at least able to defend herself from Simba.

My sister could have written your post! She's dealing with the same situation, 2.5 year old Maria beating the living daylights out of Phoebe their 6 month old kitten. They also have 9 year old Mimi but she gets along just fine with Phoebe. Phoebe came to live with them in June a few weeks after my sister lost her beloved 15 y.o. Daphne to CRF. Maria had come to them as a kitten too and uber aggressive Daphne had pretty much ignored her, hissed at her but didn't beat her up. So my sister is flumoxed by Maria's very aggressive behaviour towards Phoebe - she won't let her eat or use the litter box. Phoebe now has her own box and food bowls kept in my BIL's homeoffice - he works from home so he supervises them during the day and keeps an eye on Phoebe. Since she's only 6 months my sister is hoping that once she gets to full size she'll be better able to cope with Maria who's a big girl but Phoebe has the body structure that promises that she'll also be a big girl. They try to keep the two of them separated as much as possible but they don't confine either of them just try to supervise. I've offered up my home anytime Phoebe wants to come for a vacation - my two boys wouldn't cause her any grief.

Good luck with your situation.
tess