We matched our trim and built-ins to the white in our kitchen. Our ceiling was painted a standard ceiling white whatever the drywall/painter uses, it is a brighter white than the trim and cabinets.

I'd go all dove. A white bright enough to provide a noticeable contrast with the dove wouldn't be that appealing in most houses.

Our cabinets are BM Gardenia, a very warm white.
We matched the trim to the cabs, including the baseboards.
For the ceiling, we went with BM ceiling white, whatever that is.
For us it worked out well.
The business of "layering whites" has worked out well for many posters on this site.
Personally, I think, that except for the ceiling, as long as there is some separation between the whites, you can have almost as many shades as you like.
Like you, we also went with a grey-ish color for the walls.
Ours is a 50/50 mix of BM Metallic Silver and Pidgeon Grey.
If you're looking for a light grey, look at BM Metallic Silver.
It was too light for us, but it may work for you.
Also, keep in mind that paint is the easiest and least expensive thing to change.
Here's a shot of our kitchen and below it, a link to the completed kitchen slideshow.
HTH.

Here is a link that might be useful: Completed Kitchen

I painted my cabinets white dove and all the trim as well.

willtv- love your kitchen
I love the thought of grey on the walls bsince I will have lots of wood in the kitchen, & chairs so I think the grey will complement it well. There are so many different shades it makes me nervous. When we first moved to our place I let my DH choose the grey paint without me being there and he chose a grey paint with purple undertons. Really ugly color. We painted it a nice light yellow/tan and thats the room I want to paint gray again so nervous it will look as bad as the first time we painted it, but I know it won't because I will chose the paint haha.

It seems like more people than not use the same paint color as the cabinets on the trim. It seems right for us to do that too.

Thanks everyone.

Heather, because there are so many subtleties, whites and greys seem to be the most difficult to choose.
Most of the major paint manufacturers make small 3 or 4oz. sample sizes so, finding the right shade souldn't be too costly.
We must have tried 10 or 15 different greys before making our decision.
Be sure to post some pictures when you can.
We love that here.

Check out the blog called "for the love of a house". Her kitchen is white dove and it's beautiful. It has a vintage quality, and I absolutely love it.

I'd do the trim in the same color as the trim in the rest of the house.

We matched the trim to the cabinets (White Dove). The ceiling was originally some random BM ceiling white, which was much too blue/cool. We had them repainted BM Simply White, which is a warmer white, but a bit lighter than the White Dove.

I painted all the trim in the house, including kitchen, the color of our cabs-BM Simply White. The ceilings are all "ceiling white".

I used BM Nimbus for the walls adjoining the kitchen since the kitchen has relatively tiny amount of drywall. Kitchen drywall painted Simply White. Nimbus sometimes reads with a tiny amount of blue at certain times of the day in certain lights.

If you want to try a green-based gray to avoid the purplish look, check out BM Gray Owl. In my light-filled kitchen it read as pastel green, but in my office where there's less natural light it looks very pleasant. Again, the amount of light and other factors in your house is very individual. A color that looks great in my house may look horrid in yours. Get some color chips to narrow down the color then buy some paint samples and paint a big swatch.

Here is a link that might be useful: BM Nimbus