hmm. older man living by himself? it's entirely possible that his social skills died (or just left) with his wife and he's simply got no idea how to talk to 30-somethings... we're the babies in our 'unplanned' retirement strip (not a residential community, just a neighborhood that's gotten old) and it's taken nearly two years for them to get with the idea that DH's long hair and leather jacket didn't come with a whole bunch of OTHER longhairs in leather jackets... or that my cobalt blue hair, tie-dyes, and such didn't mean I was going to be selling acid to their grandkids, or, as one of the ladies finally admitted 'I wasn't going to be sacrificing small animals in my back yard'... I was tempted to bring some of our old co-workers by just to give them something to redefine 'freak' for them- but then the dancer and her boyfriend moved in to the only rental on the block- and after 6 months of 3 AM arguements, visits from the cops, and big old harleys... we look like angels :) 3 months isn't a lot of time to get to know people- especially old people, who have social standards that I have trouble keeping track of sometimes- and my folks are in their 80's now, so I SHOULD know how to make like a proper lady ;) you'll be fine- don't take it to heart.

Hi again dolcemia, I am pleased that your husband has a retirement plan ... and that you have one, as well. At what age can you begin to draw on them? Usually they are set up to begin at age 65 ... can you choose to begin drawing before that? For example, in Canada, the Federal pension, to which we all contribute, which began over 40 years ago, intends to have us retire at 65, with full pension (if we made full rate of contributions ... which you don't, if you earn anything near minimum wage, meaning that low income hurts, even into retirement). If I choose to retire earlier, they won't allow me to do it before age 60, and for each 2 months that I retire before age 65, they reduce my pension by 1% ... which means 6% per year, and if I chose to retire at age 60, there would be a 30% reduction. On the other hand, if I choose not to retire until after age 65, I get a bonus of 1% for each 2 months extra that I work and contribute, 6% per year. Is your pension set up so that as inflation continues over the years, does the amount of your pension increase, as well? If there is a provision for it to increase due to inflation, it's almost certain that it won't increase at the same rate as the rate of inflation, but less ... which means that it won't cover as many expenses as the years go by as it would earlier. They call that a pension being indexed for inflation. Is your husband's pension indexed to inflation? ______________________ Do you owe money on credit cards, that you don't pay in full each month when the bill arrives? Is it/are they mainline cards, or cards issued by stores? Do you know what rate of interest that you pay on those unpaid balances? Usually on mainline cards it's about 15 - 18% annual rate. Usually on store-issued cards it's up around 25 - 28% annual rate. If I loaned you $100. and said that you owed me $25. per year for the use of it, would you consider me some kind of rascal? May I ask you a question ... have you heard the saying, "A penny saved is a penny earned"? Do you believe it? If you say that you agree, I'd like to disagree, in terms of much of the stuff that, when you buy, you might be able to save a dollar on the purchase. When you consider most of the stuff that you buy ... when you prepare your income tax, can you deduct the price of it as you calculate the amount of tax that you owe? For much of the goods that most of us buy ... the cost is not deductible. Which means that we have to buy it using money that we've already paid income tax on, i.e., after-tax money. Let's suppose that you could save $1.00 on a purchase that you make. If you're in 25% marginal tax rate (i.e. the rate of tax that you pay on your top dollar of income), that means that you have to earn $1.33 before-tax, then pay 33 cents tax, leaving yu with $1.00 in hand to go out to buy that item. So .. if you save $1.00 on the cost of the purchse ... you've saved $1.333 of extra earnings, right? Plus... if you pay that 28% on a store-issued credit card, most of the things that you bought when using it were not tax-deductible, right? Which means that, if you're in 25% income tax rate, you have to earn $36.00 pre-tax income, then pay the 25%, or $9.00 income tax, leaving you with $27.00 ... oh,oh ... not quite enough to pay that $28.00 owing. Drat!! When you buy a car (or do you lease) do you pay cash for it, or do you finance it? If finance, do you shop around to find the best rate of interest and terms? Are you a member of a credit union, or are there some in your area? Sometimes they offer lower rates, or better terms, than the usual market offers. Do you try to pay the loan off as soon as possible? I recommend that. Be sure to pay off the loan quite a while before you need to replace the car. Then keep putting away that amount of money (or nearly as much) each month, building a fund to enable you to make a far larger down payment on the next car. It would be best if you can pay the full cost in cash ... that lets you put the amount of interest into your own pocket that you'd been paying earlier to a lender. I like keeping my money in my jeans over paying others to borrow theirs. Do you have an emergency fund? That is, if you had no family income for 3 months (or, even better, 6 months ... or, better yet, a year) would you have anough money available that you would still be able to live fairly comfortably? It's important to have such an emergency fund, in case unexpected expenses crop up ... including if we get laid off from work, especially if permanently, as your husbnad is dealing with at the moment. I recommend learning how money works - it's an interesting hobby. And, know what? It pays well ... very well. As I said earlier .. pay off your store-issued credit card balances fully when they come in each month ... save yourself 35%. And that saving is ... guaranteed. Where else can you earn 35% on your money ... guaranteed!?!? Good wishes for making your money work harder for you than for the other fellers! ole joyful

Hi Clare~~I don't really have anything concrete to tell you, but I am literally going through the exact same thing. My DH's company CLOSED in October, and since he is 58 years old and was in the financial market, there is no hope of him finding another job, so we are trying to figure out how to semi-retire. For the first few months, I thought I would pull every hair out of my head. Thank God, I work full-time at a job I absolutely love, so that is a huge help. However, I, too gave him a few months to settle into a different type of living, but lately, I am getting very aggravated because since I work all day, and then come home to cook, do laundry, etc., I find that he sits at the computer or TV ALL day and does nothing. I am ready to run away. Our third son, who still lives with us (20 yrs.old) is bipolar, and my husband suffers from depression. All I can say is that you need to get out of the house a few times a week and work it out with him to help with your son. If you don't get alone time, things get tougher. I find that I am looking at my DH differently because I feel like he is just lazy. I know things will work out eventually, but if you don't make some time for yourself, it will definitely get harder. I'm sorry that I don't have anything more valuable to tell you. Hang in there, and like others have said....."in good times and bad times". Take care.

I just started painting last year and, happily happily, our community center has big, beautiful art studios for our use. Classes and group meets to work on our own stuff provide a camarderie that i really enjoy. The work area is spacious, sinks abound, there is exquisite light from a north facing wall of windows and the floor is linoleum (perfect for messy or novice painters). No mess in my own house and going there gets me out. Welll, i should say DID get me out. I haven’t gone back since DH was disgnosed with cancer in October, now is not the time for us to get Covid.