Awww... (((hug))). You're having a pretty crummy day! There isn't anything I can say to you to make any of it one bit easier. But I DO know how much the presence of a pet can mean when you're feeling beaten down and trampled. And how much you miss the recently departed when the storm clouds break overhead.

My advice? a warm bath/shower and a really good CRY.

If I could "beam you up" I'd let you snuggle with our dog, who is recovering from knee surgery. You'd have a lot to discuss.

Hang in there!

((((quasifish)))) Life is sometimes so hard, Abby is close by in the non physical. She is licking your tears. Much love is being sent to you. Hang in there.

Sending hugs to you. I still have times when I miss my old gal also. Go ahead and allow yourself a good cry.

Hang in there. You will get through everything.

Sounds like you are having some rough times, I just wanted to offer a hug & a smile & pray that tomorrow will bring brighter times for you & your future. Terri

I think things will be better tomorrow, at least I hope so.
If they aren't you will be more rested and able to organize your problems and put them into perspective.

Good Luck.
Sammy

I'm so sorry.

You need to re-focus on taking care of *yourself*;
put other people's demands & problems back on their plates, not yours.

It won't work with everything (mortgage company doesn't care, & cat can't help it), but there's no reason for anyone else on that list to think they're entitled to treat you like a "whipping boy".

difficult mother-you don't *have* to deal with her "difficulty".
I learned this very late, & I regret wasting so much time & emotional misery by not putting a stop to her nonsense much earlier.
"Sorry, Mom, can't talk now. Bye."

estranged father-see difficult mother.

angry MIL-give her to hubs if possible, if not, "too busy to talk" or "You'll have to talk to hubs about that."

hubs-do the best you can; the 2 of you need to be there for each other, & job-unhappy really is misery.
but let him know that your resources are thin right now & that you need his support just as he needs yours.

wishing you the best,

sylvia

I'm so sorry so much bad stuff is happening to you. Losing a pet is a death of a member of your family. It is normal to feel sad, Grief is the price we pay for love. It will get better.

Thanks for the friendly ear everybody. Today is somewhat better. I didn't anticipate the grief setting in so strongly at the 3 month point.

Before Abby passed away I knew losing her would be losing a major source of joy and stress relief, what I never really thought about was that there wouldn't be anything to take the place of that afterwards. I can handle the stresses bit by bit for the most part, but feel like I'm just getting worn down by it in a way that wouldn't happen when she was here and we took breaks and had fun together.

Yesterday I took a break from other things and worked on a sweater for the Guidepost children's sweater project. That made me feel quite a bit better- it was a little fun and helped me keep a better perspective about my life.

Thanks again for the friendly ears and words, they mean a lot.

Q

Glad things are going better today. It's nice to know that you also work on the the Guidepost sweater project. I first started on that about 8 years ago during some major stress in my life. Last year between my sister and I we managed to ship 36 sweaters off to Guidepost.

You can only take one day at a time.
Linda

there's nothing like a good buddy to take your mind off the bad stuff and remind you of the good stuff, huh?

Do you have any friends with dogs that you could offer to borrow and take for a walk? There's no dog on earth who wouldn't love a special outing with a good friend :o)

Or maybe you could volunteer at a rescue organization or shelter to work with potential adoptees?

Just to get some cuddles and cold noses/warm hearts into your life again?

Susan

Q, I'm sorry you are/were blue. I miss my little Taco too. Our pets are just so therapeutic, and the best friends ever. They really do make a bad day better, just by hugging them.

And you know what, aside from your DH, you do not need to give a piece of yourself to anyone. It's hard, but disengage from their drama - they have no right to try and make it yours.

I'll agree with susan. Maybe not volunteer because it sounds like you're already got a lot on your plate, and a lot of responsibility that isn't yours. But when you're having a crummy day, it might not hurt to go take a half an hour at the shelter, and ask if you can see one of the dogs, or go sit with the cats. Just be with them.

It won't make you miss Abby any less, but it might remind you of her and make you a little happier to feel that atleast her kind is with you. And it might help to know you're making those animals days a lot better, too. Chances are they aren't having the best day/week/month either and it always feels nice to help those that aren't demanding it or expecting it from you, when so many other people are without returning the favour.

Just go spend some time with the most loving, non-judgemental, undemanding creatures on the planet, and hopefully it'll ease some of the stress.

I'm really sorry everythings so crappy for you right now, it's always everything at once, hey?? I hope you feel better soon!!

Thanks again everyone. Yesterday went south in the late afternoon, but today my head feels a lot clearer than it's been all week.

I LOVE to volunteer, but right now I have a 17 m.o. human baby that prevents me from being able to do that for the most part. DH's work schedule is unpredictable too, which makes it difficult to plan a weekend or evening to get away. That's why I've been knitting the sweaters for charity, it fits into the time I can find. Linda, I'm very impressed- 36 sweaters! Wow!

I see now that a lot of my problems with other family members are issues with bad boundaries (particularly mom and MIL), and that it's up to me to hold that line. It's harder to do when you're feeling down.

Thanks once again for listening, for the thoughts, and the ideas too. You guys are great.

Q