Kylie, I will pray for your sister. Please let me know her first name, so I can pray for her by name. Ox, I am impressed that you can be vulnerable. So many people think that having a hard shell is strength, but that's simply a generalized fear reaction and not strength. It is really much stronger to be vulnerable. And as you are being vulnerable, stay away from all those damn people you can't be safe with when you are vulnerable. Relationships can only grow when there is an approximately equal amount of self-disclosure. And when you are vulnerable and tell someone your feelings, it is an invitation for them to be more open and vulnerable. If they cannot be, you'll find out pretty fast, because often they will be rejecting to avoid the fear of vulnerability. Stay away from those people, because the relationship will never gain any depth. As you become vulnerable, do it slowly with info that is not extremely close to your heart, so that you can get an initial sense of whether this person is safe. Then you can progress from there. I agree with others, who say stay away from bars. You'll mostly find barflys. Church or synagogue is a great place, but not just any church or synagogue. Call the preacher, priest, or rabbi--you don't have to identify yourself, and simply say that you'd like to eventually find a nice woman and settle down and that if they don't mind your asking, HOW MANY SINGLE WOMEN DO YOU GUYS HAVE IN MY AGE GROUP. Go where there are a bunch. And if you're a serious searcher, you can usually make two services on Sunday mornings at different churches and another Sun evening at another church. Catholic churches also have services on Saturday evening as do other denominations. I don't know the schedule at synagogues, and maybe some of you who are Jewish can help Ox with that info. Remember the stats, that we get rejected 90 per cent of the time when asking for dates and don't dwell on it. Just move on to the next person you're interested in. And then after developing a relationship, we all get rejected at times and have done the rejecting ourselves. Don't know how old you are, Ox, but physical beauty is very important up to the age of 25 and then the kind of person she is becomes much more important. Of course there are many multiple people out there who will want to spend time with you. I'll tell the ultimate example of that from my own life and experience. On internship in New York City, 1969-70, one morning in staffing at Bellevue hospital, two guys were interviewed. Not just one, but both of these guys had murdered their mothers, both had cut out their mothers' heart, and both had cooked their mothers' heart in a frying pan and then ate it. I realized right then that no matter how bad or ugly anyone ever got, there was someone out there for them to be close to. I'll make the assumption that you are not that bad off. So looking and meeting people becomes fulltime in your spare hours, right? This year is a prime year to meet lots of women in political campaigns. You can just take your ass down to a local place and sign up. You can sign up to work in democrat and republican races, for president, for Senate, for Congressional representatives and state and local races, and stay where you have the most prospects. At these places, you are also more likely to find smart women who are willing to put themselves out for the interests of others. And better than church for good women hunting, you get to talk to them more than at church. Of course when the tv cameras are there, you probably don't want to be seen by the public cheering at the McCain rallies AND the Obama or Clinton rallies. Happy hunting, Ox. BTW, the quickest nonverbal binding strategy is to generally adopt the body language of the person you are interested in. And whenever you can, keep a palm open and keep that open palm from being facing down. It's fine in a sitting conversation to have your hand at your ear with your palm facing the other person. And the final thing. Assuming the light on the person's eyes stays constant, if she is interested in you, her pupils will slightly dilate. If she's not, they'll stay the same, and if you piss her off, they will contract. So if in the conversation, you reach out and touch her arm or shoulder, look at those pupils to find out if they're expanding or contracting. If they expand, she likes it. If not, they'll contract. Jim Jim

That's a great story and we need to hear more about them because I've met more kind, nice and generous people than bad ones. Thus, I know for a fact that there are lots and lots of wonderful people out there. What's so bad is the media and all the news that make us think otherwise. Here's one day that I can't forget. I heard a loud boom and ran to the window to see what it was. There was a minor auto accident in front of my home. I went out to see if I could be of any assistant. 2 cars were involved. One driver was a teenager. Being that this was her first accident, she was scared and in tears. The other driver was in his senior years, late 70's or 80's, and was very fragile. It was one of those Texas high heat day. So, I asked the drivers to park their cars in a safe area and invited them into the cool and comfort of my home to exchange information. After being indoor with a/c for a few minutes, they both were able to calm down. I guided them with what information they needed to exchange and who to call. Really, neither one of them knew what to do and yet, both insisted on not calling the police. Later, the girl's parents came to help her going home. We all chit chat for awhile, laughing and joking. Then, they all followed each others home. The parents wanted to make sure that the senior driver got home safely. The whole ordeal really touched me. I never thought that a little hospitality really paid off. Yes, kindness is really contagious :o)

I suggest watching cesar millan videos on youtube about how to walk a dog. My neighbor's dog, a lab, was pulling her all over the place. I took the dog for a walk and within 10 min, I had her by my side, paying attention to me, no pulling. When I was fostering my brother's dog after his death, a 110-lb golden, he was pulling like mad and no way could I control him. So again, using Cesar's techniques, within a few minutes, I had him heeling perfectly. The discipline of the walk starts at the door. You have to be the first one out, and the dog needs to wait for you to ask him out, not go charging out in front. Dog language is very simple...whoever is in front is in charge. So the dog needs to be at your side or slightly behind. You need to be literally the leader. One of the most effective techniques I've found that he uses is one of surprise and distraction...you can have the dog stand or sit next to you and as soon as you see the dog start to focus on something, lift your foot on the side opposite the dog, reach it behind you and touch the dog on his leg. (This is not a kick! This is simply touching them with your toe.) It surprises them and immediately distracts them from what they were focusing on and puts 100% of their attention on you, which is exactly where you want it. Another important element is to keep the collar, whichever one you use, up near their head like they do in the kennel shows. That's where the dog is sensitive and will feel it. If you have the collar down closer to their shoulders and you pull on it, their reaction will be to pull in the opposite direction. That's what dogs do...and we've all seen it where dogs are pulling so hard that they are actually strangling themselves, and yet they keep pulling.

This season I have had a love/hate for BB. I often chastise myself for watching, and yes, enjoying what goes on in the house. In past season's there has been fighting, name calling but on a lesser level. These HG's are operating with a gang mentality. I despise how the word "bullying" gets overused in America these days but that's exactly what has been going on this season. They've been working up to start on Kevin. Shame on Christmas for cuddling up and whispering with Kevin then running back to tell the gang. I think Kevin's depression has more to do with Christmas and less to do with missing his family. Last night I was kind of hoping for a shake up. If Alex or Paul one were voted out, it would be a whole new ballgame. Btw, I felt bad thinking about how Jason's wife must have felt hearing him call Alex his "girl in the house, his tiger". Despite the fact Jason is only riding Alex's coattails, i would be pulling for him if he werent disrespecting his wife.