This is a sad situation, and must be very difficult for you. I am invovled in a pet care business and have several contacts that operate rescue groups. They do a great job of caring for the animals and placing them in loving homes. You can contact me through the business link below.

Phoenix Pet Sitting and Boarding Services

Here is a link that might be useful: Pet Care Services

Charles,
What kind of person are you to SPAM when someone is really having a difficult time. Jerk.

Guys, just disregard this jerk. He just joined today and put TWO links to his business. I will report him immediately.

To OP,
So sorry for what you're dealing with. I cannot believe they wouldn't take their dog back, and decided to get "new" dogs instead. Also, they should be thinking of you and the fact that you took on this burden because of their irresponsibility. Unbelievable. I hope they can get the message someday.

My in-laws are the same way! They'll get a dog and then "something" happens and they get rid of it. The only good thing I can say is that they do find good homes for them. Last Summer they got a beautiful German Shepherd puppy (paid a lot of money for it) and six months later it was gone. Believe me I've spoken my mind about this to them and they always have some great excuse why it didn't work out. If I could just get them to adopt from an animal shelter and then give that dog away later it might not be so bad. At least the dog would be getting a second chance.

Maybe i missed this part... Where are the new dogs coming from? Is it too late to ask your inlaws then tell the breeder or adoption agency about their past? And my next question is are they aware of what happens to unwanted pets left for dead on the roadside or dumped at a kill shelter? Has anyone shown them pictures of innocent animals destroyed en masse?

Be sure your in-laws know that you want to be a reference for their next adoption :) Then when the rescue or breeder calls, tell them what you know.

Yes that is an excellent idea too.

I can't help but think about all those silly rules that some adoption groups have that I have complained about ad infinitum, if something like that either could have been used to prevent these people from getting these pets or if something like that had been used and wasn't effective.

Actually they don't adopt from rescue groups or anything. I'm not sure where they got the Boxers from but the dog I have now and the new puppy they just got are from basically "backyard" breeders. I doubt they are reputable. They originally bought two Shih Tzu puppies from a woman who breeds them and one of the puppies had some kind of genetic defect (his esophagus wasn't formed correctly and he couldn't eat (couldn't keep anything down) poor thing so they took it back to the breeder and she admitted she KNEW the dog had these problems when she sold it to them. So these are exactly reputable breeders. Suprisingly my future in-laws do take good care of their pets while they have them (routine vet care, proper food etc) but they act like these pets are disposable and as soon as they tire of them, decide to move, etc they get rid of them. The reason they gave me for not taking their old dog (one I rescued back) is because she sheds!! Well they didn't have a problem with that for the 3 years they had her. I just don't know.

If that is the case then maybe if you educate them on what happens to discarded pets, pets in shelters that are not adopted, and those left on the road side then they will change their ways. It has to be that they just don't know what happens. In addition there are plenty of teaching materials online about the needs of avoiding puppy mills and irresponsible breeders.

Maybe you could just sit down and talk with them about how you view thier actions. It may be that they don't realize the pattern they are creating, but that they feel each time they get rid of a dog it is a valid reason.

I had to confront my inlaws about the breed they wanted. They didn't listen entirely, but at least they were more aware of what they were doing.

You can also talk to them about either rescuing their pets or getting them from reputable breeders. I run into many, many people who do not realize the impact that irresponsible backyard breeders have on pet quality.

People like this really irritate me too! My sister has become like this... She will get a puppy b/c it's so cute, then 6 months later get rid of it b/c of some lame reason.

I have 2 dogs & I can't imagine sending them to another home. It makes me sad just thinking about it. When my DH & I decided to move in together while dating I already had 1 of my dogs & I told him that I wasn't going to move anywhere that my dog couldn't come w/ me. I will stick to that until the day I die. I will not have a house that I can't have pets in.

I can understand giving up an animal if it becomes aggressive (of course, my dog is a little aggressive w/ strangers & I've just learned to take care of it, still won't get rid of him) or something like that, but not just b/c you're tired of taking care of them. It's funny, but it seems like some ppl are getting this way about kids too now days. It seems like there are more and more "disposable" things in the world and I guess some ppl think animals should be too.

I'm glad you took their previous dog. At least it went to someone it knows. Ever wonder if the dog's thinking, "Where did _____ go?" Anyway, good luck w/ this situation!

I know I feel bad for their previous dog (my new dog) because while I try to be a good "mommy" to her I have three cats and their comfort comes first. The new dog (doesn't get along with cats and I have to keep her in a separate room when I"m not at home and keep a very close eye on her while I am at home. Which means the cats sleep in my room and the dog does not. Also during the summer I keep her outside a lot (in a fenced yard) while I'm at home. SHe was used to being someone's favorite pet and when my future in laws would get home from work she would run to their laps to cuddle with them and they let her sleep with them at night. So yes, I wonder if she misses them. I know she is a dog but I tend to humanize my animals a bit so I think she probably wonders what happened to her old life where she was spoiled. My sister is like this in a way too. One of my cats used to be hers. He was given to her as a birthday gift by an old boyfriend and she kept him thru college and when she moved in with her husband he said he was allergic to cats so my sister asked me to keep her cat until her husband could start taking allergy shots. Well that was three years ago and I still have her cat. Since then my sister's husband went to a rescue shelter and adopted two cats for her as a birthday gift (guess he wanted to outdo the other guy) and just recently they adopted a 3rd from the same shelter. But I still have her cat and I wouldn't give him back to her for anything. He's my baby now.

I've tried talking to the (future) inlaws but they just don't get it or really dont' care. They were devastated when they thought their (previous) dog might die at the pound but felt they literally had no choice as they tried to give her away and they were moving to an apartment and it didnt' allow pets. I took the dog because they were so desperate and she was a good dog and didnt' deserve going to a kill shelter. So I feel they genuinely care for their pets but once they get bored they use any little excuse to get rid of them and eventually get new ones.

I hate to bring this up when I know that you are agonizing over this situation and just trying to do your best to help these poor dogs, but have you considered trying to find a new home for this dog that you took from your inlaws?

You obviously took the dog with good intentions, but you may be doing more harm than good. If you are treating this dog like a second-rate citizen in your home, locking him in a room when you aren't home, and keeping him outside (even in a fenced-in yard a dog should be fully supervised), then maybe your home isn't the best for him. I'm sure if you contact a rescue group or something, he would find a more suitable home, where he would be "spoiled" again. He is locked in a room when you're not home and locked outside when you are home...not a good life.

I know you are trying to do right by this pup, and you didn't choose this situation by any means. But he is not being treated the way he should be treated...and trust me, he knows it. It's not your fault..you tried to save him. But he should have a home where he is loved.

Yes, this is totally aggravating. It happens so often too. People just have such disposable mentalities in general these days, and it carries over to their pets. They don't want any inconveniences.

And yes, there are many backyard breeders who will gladly sell to anyone who shows up at their door with $300. they give responsible breeders a bad name.

Remember - don't take their shih tzus once they decide to "dump" them too - let them find homes for the dogs themselves!

This is why I don't go in pet store, I want to take them all home.

It sounds like something is missing in your inlaws life that they are trying to fill, unsuccessfully, with a pet. And they just haven't found "the one" (sarcasm) yet. Or maybe I am over psychoanalyzing.

My SIL recently needed to downgrade her house, but she needed another one where she could still have her 2 elderly dogs and 2 cats (no condos, needed at least a small yard). The real estate agent's reply was, "you need to look out for yourself. You may have to give them to a shelter. They are only animals." !!!!! I would have fired her on the spot, and I only have 1 house cat. Can you imagine?

But I'm not the right person to ask. I put off work on my house so my cat could get the best medical treatment possible, even though we knew it was fatal.

I hear ya Sue (and you're talking to someone who shelled out about 15,000 bucks for medical treatment for my dog's cancer...so I'm just as crazy as you!). When I was looking to buy the apartment I currently live in, it was a MUST that my dog could come along. I'd rather live on the streets with my dog than live in a home without her. Also, when I was looking at places, my first question was always "is it wheelchair accessible", because my dog had a spinal tumor removed at that time and there was a chance of regrowth which would cause paralysis - so I needed to make sure she'd be able to use a wheelchair if need be (knock on wood).

Not only did MY apartment need to be pet friendly and wheelchair accessible, but my sister has rented 2 apartments in the city since I've had my dog, and each time she was looking to rent she made sure they allowed dogs!! She doesn't even OWN a dog...she just wants to make sure my dog can come visit!!

That's why it doesn't make sense to me that people would get rid of their pet instead of finding a place that allowed them. Something is wrong with these people....REALLY wrong. I feel so bad for the OP, because I would not be able to hold my tongue in this situation.

newhomeseeker, I really feel for you. My problem is I always feel the need to be responsible for other people's irresponsibility!

One of my sister's friends asked her to watch her cat while she sorted out some personal issues. A week goes by, my sister gets a call. "Take the cat to a shelter." The owner, my sister's so-called friend, had moved to another state!

My sister wasn't in a position to keep him but didn't want to take him to a shelter either. (He lived at a shelter for along time before his first owner adopted him--probably because he's cross-eyed.) So now my husband and I have him.

I honestly don't think you can ever reason with people like that. They are always going to put what they want first.

Gabro brings up a good point. One that I was too chicken to make. But dogs have needs. One of those needs is they need to be loved. If you really dont have much chemistry with this dog you took in, finding her a new home is a good idea. Similarly dressing up a dog in a cute outfits doesn't mean their needs are being met either.

People don't understand commitment. Pets are forever. You change your lifestyle to accommodate your pet or you dont get a pet.

Newhomeseeker, you may want to contact a beagle rescue group in your area. Just google "beagle rescue (your) state" and you should find them. Tell them that you are willing to foster the beagle until a home is found and ask if you have to be the one to take him to all the adoption events, or interview the prospective owners. You may be able to do as much (pick his new family) or as little (feed and house him) as you want. You may also find that they will put him on their site, but everything else is up to you. It can't hurt to see. Rescues usually will help you place the mix puppies, too. If they do not, find the best rescue group in your area by going to Petfinder.com and doing a search for your state. Look at how the groups near you represent the dogs online and keep an eye on how long the dogs stay up for adoption. Find one willing to work with you and get that poor pup a good home. He reminds you too much of the fiance's parents and their irresponsible attitudes. It may be best for you and him to get him a Mom who does not have these feelings connected to him (or a family of cats!). I can hear the compassion in your words about him, and I know you are concerned about how he has to live now, at your house.

Bless you for being there for these unwanted pets all these years.

My other main concern is how your Dear Fiance thinks about what his parents do. Is this going to be something that comes between you? Have you made sure the "heartless" gene skipped a generation?

Thanks for the advice, I will try to find a rescue group in my area. I just hate the thought that the poor dog could end up with someone else like her first family. I know dogs don't think this way but what goes through my head is that she will be thinking I don't want her either (like her first family). I think she deserves better than I can give her. I try to spoil her or at least make her life enjoyable- when it was warmer out I took her for lots of walks in the park and she loved that. But my cats are my first priority and she doesn't get along with them (terrorizes them) so I have to put their comfort ahead of the dog.

I have had her in my home for about five months now. I didn't look for another home for her right away because the inlaws hinted that when they moved in with their daughter (who owns the home) that they would want to take her back. But when that time came and I asked if they wanted her back their excuse was that she sheds and they preferred to get a dog that didn't.

I hope you can at least look forward to the day you dump- er I mean rehome these inlaws in a retirement home. When you take them to the home, tell the workers there you dont want these old people anymore because they shed.

I just spit out my coffee - hilarious!

I have known people like this, in particular a B&SIL. My personal theory is that they cannot deal with the eventual death of the pet.

When they were young and first married, SIL had a cat that found and ingested something it should not have. Despite quick vet care, the cat could not be saved. They did not handle the loss well (emotionally speaking). Since that time they have had a number of cats and a couple of dogs. After a few years SIL seems to always find some lame reason why the animals are no longer compatible with the household. My personal theory is that they enjoy having animals as property, but they can't deal with the animals getting older, having health issues, and ultimately dying (that's life!). Generally they do find good homes for their animals, but I still think it's mean to rehome an animal simply because of your own selfishness. I cannot imagine giving any of my animals away- it would be like giving the kid away!

FWIW, this B&SIL (as well as the other people I know who do this) are very self-absorbed people. I think they lack the empathy and compassion it takes to be a good pet parent, and possibly a good human being in general. I'm sure in their own mind they are able to justify what they do.

The other thing that has struck me as weird about this family is that their preteen children cannot seem to grasp that our dog DIED last year. Every time they come to the house they ask where she is....??? They are plenty old enough to not have to be told repeatedly that she died- I think their parents are doing them a massive disservice to get rid of pets repeatedly- what are they ultimately teaching their children? That animals are disposable and you can disconnect yourself from death? (She has made it clear that she would never allow our parents to pass peacefully in a home setting, even if it was their last wish- selfish!)

Sorry to rant on, but I honestly think there is something mentally wrong with people who repeatedly get and discard animals.

on my the comment about the retirement home was priceless.

I never thought of it as they are avoiding the death of the pets. Hmm interesting. Might be onto something there. But as with this dog it is only 3 years old so I just think they got tired of her and being away from her for several months they became unattached and decided they wanted a new "toy" to play with. As for them not taking the dog with them when they moved- I will defend them on this even though I could NEVER do this- they really didnt' have much of a choice. They dont' have much money-FIL had a heart attack last year and couldnt work for almost six months (even though he wanted to) He works as a cook and doesn't have health insurance and on top of all the hospital bills they had to pay that they couldn't afford they ended up losing their house. So they had to find an apartment and most apartments in our area do not allow pets. It is very rare to find one that does. so I understand they couldn't take the dogs with them. But the part that upsets me is that now they are in a situation where they CAN have pets and they dont' want their original dog back and have chosen to replace her and start the cycle of having disposable pets all over.

Just make sure your fiancee has not inherited this attitude.
What kind of lessons do people like that teach their children? Pets are an accessory to be disposed of at will.

Some people are such wimps when it comes to the death of their pets... yeah it is heartbreaking. but they are your little friends - you should step up to the plate for them at their time of need. They don't live long lives but they live good ones.

Just curious, have you taken their old dog to visit them? A little guilting in the way of "Awww, she misses you guys so much" as she gets all excited to see them might go a long way. On the other hand, I wonder if I'd really want the dog back with them if they feel so nonchalant about dumping her.

I've known a lot of people like this, and I think quasifish hit the nail on the head about it being related to a general lack of empathy for other beings. Empathy is a psychological trait that is developed very early in a person's life, and if someone doesn't have it, it's really hard to make up for it later. It's a huge problem in our society--people not caring about anyone but themselves. The thing is, having pets with children is a wonderful opportunity to help them develop a deep and enduring sense of empathy that will serve them well throughout their lives and make them better people. It's too bad that more people don't take advantage of this opportunity.

I'm sure these people have rationalized in their heads every "rehoming" they've ever done. We all do. Even you admit that some of your horses "didn't work out." We make it OK to ourselves. Getting them to see that it's not OK at this point in their lives is probably futile.

I agree with sc_gardener that you ought to make sure your fiance doesn't share his parents' outlook. I know there are many things I disagree vehemently with my mom about, so I hope he disagrees with his parents just as vehemently on this topic.

I also agree that you ought to think of yourself as a long-term foster home for this dog and work on finding her a new home. It's obviously not a good permanent situation for you or the dog. Can you really imagine keeping up this separate existence for her and your cats for the next 10+ years? If not, it would be better to find a new home for her now than later. You shouldn't feel like you are doing the same thing they did to her, because you didn't choose this situation. They did. Finding her a home with someone who wants her would be better for both of you.

I am going to look into finding her a good home. As for my fiance, he doesn't really care about having pets (he tolerates my cats and isn't cruel to them he's just indifferent. If one jumps on his lap he will pet it but he doesn't go out of his way to interact with them. He has no problem with my animals but he just never really wanted any of his own. I've turned my last two boyfriends into "cat people" and one absolutely hated cats when I met him (used to shoot strays when he saw them in the woods when he was hunting) and now he has a cat that we had adopted together. When I broke up with him he refused to give me our cat because it was his "baby" and he loved her so much. Once two years after we broke up he couldn't find her (inside only cat) and thought she'd gotten outside without him noticing (we still talked occassionally) and he called me crying, and hysterical (a grown man) because he couldn't find the cat and was terrified he'd lost her. This from a guy who used to kill stray cats. He found her later (she was hiding in a pile of clothes in his closet sleeping) and he was so relieved. He wouldn't part with this cat for anything. So I'm hoping my fiance turns out the same way (and interesting enough my ex that I"m talking about- his parents didn't like animals at ALL. His mom thought cats were dirty discusting creatures and his dad would only tolerate having outside dogs(hunting dogs) so even if people are raised a certain way I believe they can change.

newhomeseeker... I don't know the answer to your question. I don't know why people do a lot of things.

I don't know why people get dogs and keep them outside in the yard. Wouldn't you want to be WITH your pet?

I don't know why people get animals and have to look at them everyday but don't feed them.

I don't know why people would spend money buying an expensive dog from a breeder to just beat up on it.

Why do they even bother getting them in the first place? Who knows?

I just had to comment in this thread -- I just wrote a letter to a friend that is probably going to make her really angry, but I felt it had to be said.

Basically, she moved from Idaho to Los Angeles a couple of years ago. When she did that, she dumped her cat on a friend who really didn't care about it, and allowed it to be indoor/outdoor. It eventually got killed by a dog.

Fast forward to today. My friend currently owns two cats. She has just recently decided that she is moving to Vancouver and is going to "remake" her life. Understand -- in the short time that she has lived here, she has held 3 jobs, started her own business, and lived in 4 different apartments. We're not talking the most stable person on the planet. She is selling all her furniture and belongings, and is going to be moving in with friends up in Vancouver -- hence, she can't take her cats. She's planning on dumping them on friends again.

I basically wrote her an email, begging her to not get any pets again until she is much, much more stable in her lifestyle. If she can dump her pets twice, then she can do it again...and she sees nothing wrong in what she's doing. Just get some more, and start over again. I find such a viewpoint mindboggling.

When you say that the dog terrorizes the cats, do you mean terrorize as in actually wants to harm them or terrorizes as in wants to be friends/play with them and doesn't know how? If it is the latter then perhaps you could teach the dog how to get along with the cats so everyone could be happy. My lab used to try to terrorize the cats until she got used to them and they to her. She was really trying to play but was to rough for the kitties. I corrected her when she was too rough. Eventually she got used to the cats and for the most part ignores them. Occasionally she will sneak up behind them and "goose" them just for fun. But I have also found her and the two younger cats cuddled up on the bed together. Try introducing the dog to the cats with the dog on leash. If the dog tries to get rough with the cat, give it a leash and voice correction. If dog acts appropriately with cat, then it gets an especially yummy treat. There is an animal behaviorist on NPR, "Calling All Pets" that recommends this method. She says that every time dog looks at cats but doesn't try to lunge at or chase them, give dog praise and a special treat. Eventually dog associates cats with treats and learns to get along. The cats will get used to dog once dog stops trying to pester them.

I would sit down and had a heart to heart with him/ your partner, and tell him your parents behavior bothers you and that you don't like it. maybe you should break up, its up to you though

There's nothing you can really do about changing or controlling some buddy else. Report the parents to the local ASPCA and breed lists for cats/dogs. That way all the reputable breeders know that they are bad owners and not to sell to them.

Runsnwalken - the date of the last post on this thread is
Tue, Feb 5, 08 at 15:02 - why are you digging up posts that are 7 months old? When you respond to old posts it knocks the current ones off the first page. In the past few days you've brought up a bunch of old posts. Please, stop digging up old posts. Most likely the issue has been long resolved.

Okay.

I am really angry too. Why don't you intervene and take all the animals? Also, make sure they have an outstanding arrest for discarding pets.

I think the subject animals are no longer alive, but hopefully the in-laws are healthy and still living on their own.

Completely missed the point, plus those in laws like you are losers. You are part of the world problem.

I can understand why you are frustrated and upset with your fiance's parents' treatment of their pets. It is never okay to treat animals as disposable objects that can be easily replaced. It sounds like you have a lot of love and respect for animals and believe in treating them as valued members of the family.

It can be difficult to change the behavior of others, but one thing you can do is to continue to set a positive example by providing a loving and permanent home for the pets you take in. You can also educate others about the importance of responsible pet ownership and encourage them to treat their pets with kindness and respect.

If you feel comfortable doing so, you could also try talking to your fiance's parents about their behavior and how it affects the pets they bring into their lives. It may not change their behavior, but it could at least make them aware of the impact of their actions. Ultimately, the best thing we can do for animals is to provide them with love, care, and respect throughout their entire lives.

Stax, most of this thread is from 2008. Three days ago, Sirani McNeill resurrected it, so the pets in the original post are long gone.

Most people missed the part where the OP bought and sold several horses because they didn’t work out, and somehow it’s OK to discard horses but not other pets. The horses “not working out” means the OP had behavioral problems with the horses and instead of getting some training, the OP just passed them along to some unsuspecting next owner.