My dad's brother passed away

15 years ago

I called my brother after he e-mailed me the phone number of one of my mom's friends. He told me my dad had just been told his brother passed away. I didn't talk to my dad. He was upset, naturally. He was my dad's only sibling and had been in New Mexico, living in a assisted living facility because he had mental problems and was unable to care for himself. The last year or more he hasn't recognized my dad when he talked to him on the phone. So sad. His whole life was kinda sad.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (12)

carol_in_california
15 years ago
Kathleen, I am so sorry for your dad and for your family.
It is so sad when siblings lose touch for one reason or another.
I will keep you dad in my thoughts.
gadgets
15 years ago
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your uncle. It is sad that he was unable to communicate with your dad.

Shirley
Related Discussions
My dad passed away recently.
Q
Comments (4)
How shocking and tragic to lose your dear father so suddenly. It seems so wrong. I know how hard it is just to type the title of your posting. Both my parents have been gone for several years now, but I think of them often--my mother mostly almost every day. You'll always miss your dad, but the pain and confusion you are experiencing now will lessen gradually. It's good to have family members to support each other. Heartfelt condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss. Susan
...See More
My dad passed away suddenly
Q
Comments (29)
I'm so sorry. I won't say i know your pain, because i don't, but i have also lost my father suddenly. two weeks ago today i found him in his truck. The medical examiner said it was a massive heart attack. I never and i don't think he knew either that anything was wrong. I love my dad so much! He was the greatest dad ever. He taught me how to fish, hunt, play golf, and anything else i wanted to learn. When i grew up (i'm 34), he was still my favority fishing buddy and golf partner. I can't tell you all the good my dad did for our community. I was so proud of who my dad was, and would brag about him to my friends all the time. he was a great man. Now i can't even think of fishing again, or playing golf. I know he would tell me to go and have fun, but i don't want to. I just want my dad back. I feel cheated. I should have been there, my dad should have never been alone when he went. It probably wouldn't have mattered, but at least ... i maybe could have comforted him in some way. I hope that he wasn't scared or hurting badly. God, why? the weekend before he left us, we were suppose to go fishing, but it poured down the rain. my question is if God knew he was going to take my dad, why couldn't i have that last trip. i know that's selfish, but that's how i feel. I miss him so much. I still need him. Just the other day i said to myself, "dad would know what to do here" and started to call his cell phone, only to realize that it was on the table beside of me. I love you dad, just want you to come home.
...See More
My dad passed away
Q
Comments (9)
I know that I should not hold him at fault, and I don't completely. I know that all the things took time, I just don't understand why he couldn't have just called 911 right then instead of going nextdoor to ask what they thought. And it's not only that he didn't really seem sad hardly at all. My dad had been taking pain killers for many years because he had broken his neck around 1980 and it would still give him pain, he had become addicted to them. A couple of days later we found a whole bottle hidden in my uncles car that were my dads and I know that my dad would not have given them away thats for sure. I can promise that(my dads family has a way of trying to deal with things through alcohol and drugs). And also my dad didn't have one dollar on him and that is unexplanable, my dad always had money on him, always. I don't want to accuse him of stealing from his dead brother, but fact is he is a bum and had been there mooching off my dad for weeks, he had been staying with friends in another town and they had to tell him to leave because he was stealing from them so I wouldn't put it past him. All in all he is my uncle and I love him still and if anything like this did happen I will leave it in gods hands. What I ment when I said that my husband tells me to try not to think about it, was that I will sometimes listen to songs that remind me of him and I will look at his pictures and I will just cry so much, and he tells me that I am making myself more sad by doing that. He has been very wonderful with helping me grieve. We have a 3 year old little girl and she misses her grandpa too very much, she will upset and tell me is sad, I will ask her whats wrong and she will say "I miss pops" thats what she called him. It makes me really sad too when she tells me that. I have always been afraid of those late night calls, I would think about how I would feel if someone close to me died, I never imagened that my dad would go He had always been such a strong man. I think about it still so much almost like it's not real I mean my dad, my dad, he's not just a phone call away anymore or a two hour drive. I really appreciate all of your advice so much, it really helps alot. Thank you all so very much. God Bless
...See More
Just got word that my brother passed away...
Q
Comments (49)
A sad day all around for you Patti. You are in my thoughts. Anne
...See More
petaloid
15 years ago
What a tough time for the family, especially your dad.
des_arc_ya_ya
15 years ago
Oh, Kath, I'm so sorry! Is there any way that you can spend a few days with your dad? I know that you're quite a distance apart but I'd check on him and see if he needs the company, if you can at all.

Tell your dad how sorry we all are to hear about him losing his only brother. ((Kath))
lydia1959
15 years ago
Sorry to hear this ((Kath)). Sympathy for your Dad as he deals with this loss.
tami_ohio
15 years ago
Kathleen, sending you my sympathy for you and your family.

Tami
jackie643
15 years ago
Special thoughts are going out for your Dad and your family.

Jackie.
Kathsgrdn
Original Author
15 years ago
My dad called me when we were in Louisville, so I just called him back. He seems to be ok. I guess he has been expecting to hear bad news about his brother for a while.
susanjf_gw
15 years ago
kath..one thing be prepared for a bit of depression and sort of resigned attitude..fil lost the last of his siblings, a younger sister, and changed quite abit...of course he is 87, and not so healthy, but it was very sad...
Kathsgrdn
Original Author
15 years ago
I'm so glad he found his cousin a few years ago. They were brought up together by their grandmother and had lost contact some 30 or more years ago. He did talk to her yesterday.

It is sad losing everyone around you as you get older. One of his aunts just passed away a little over a week ago. Now, another one is ill, the only one I keep in contact with. I'm hoping to visit her on our way home from Florida next month. I haven't seen her in 6 or 7 years now.
joyfulguy
15 years ago
Hi kath,

I'm sorry that your Dad has this heartache to deal with, but without his brother recognizing him, it's been a problem for a time and this will put an end to that ongoing heartache.

I hope that you can call and talk frequently for the next while - does he have skype or an equivalent? It would likely be helpful if he could see your face, especially moving.

Sorry as well that your family has had these disruptions: it's best to get such issues resolved: life is too short for us to let ourselves become prisoners of such issues to the point that it causes a rupture in our relations with out family - our supposed-to-be loved ones.

(((((kathsgrdn and bereft family)))))

ole joyful
linda_in_iowa
15 years ago
I am so sorry Kath. It is sad when someone no longer recognizes you. I called my uncle when his memory was failing and when I said "Hi Uncle John" there was a pause and he answered "Am I someone's uncle?".

My dad's brother passed away

Comments (12)

carol_in_california

gadgets

Related Discussions

petaloid

des_arc_ya_ya

lydia1959

tami_ohio

jackie643

Kathsgrdn
Original Author

susanjf_gw

Kathsgrdn
Original Author

joyfulguy

linda_in_iowa

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

My dad's brother passed away

Comments (12)

Related Discussions

KathsgrdnOriginal Author

KathsgrdnOriginal Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

Kathsgrdn
Original Author

Kathsgrdn
Original Author