I did make reservations one year and again (I bet you can guess) DH didn't like it. What he really hated was there were no left overs for turkey cranberry sandwiches. LOL And I also had to agree with him, it wasn't very good. And I did miss the leftovers too, at least the first time around.

Also bought the whole kit and caboodle at the grocery store another time. And again I thought it was OK, not great but OK. I heard about that from DH for a long time afterwards.

Chrissy - I like the idea of the 2 sauces. Thanks.

Nancy - I almost forgot the dog! She would never forgive me if she didn't get some turkey in her food that night.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions. I don't mind the cooking so much as I wish I could try some new things. I am just tired of the same old same old every year after 31 years but DH isn't. I am working on him to rotisserie the turkey on the gril. At least that would be a change.
Clare

LOL, Clare, I never get tired of Thanksgiving dinner or cooking it, I only do it once a year! Some years it was only three of us, me and my two girls (well, and the WonderWeiner), but now it's Amanda, David, The Monkey Princess, Bruvver, Ashley, Her Flavor of the Day and me. Elery has to work again this year, so we may have Thanksgiving on Friday or even Saturday.

It's the same thing every year though, and I love it. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, nothing is required except that we eat and be thankful.

Annie

I am so blessed in a husband who is completely happy to eat anything I put in front of him, any time. I could serve him chow mien for Thanksgiving and he'd tell me it was wonderful.

But I love turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and gravy. And I love open faced turkey sandwiches and cold turkey sandwiches with stuffing, cranberry sauce and mayonnaise. The rest of the side dishes change, and the type of stuffing changes...but even though it's usually only the two of us, I just have to have the turkey.

Sometimes I make a big turkey dinner at another time of year, just because we like it.

Clare, I feel for you. I have been cooking Thanksgiving dinner for a long time (although you have me beat with the 50 years!), and I also am tired of doing it. I think if it were a family effort I would feel differently, but I do all the shopping, prep work, cooking and then clean up afterwards. Ick. I sure don't feel very thankful after all that work. Last year my daughter and her boyfriend came otherwise we would have gone out. I just didn't feel right about inviting people for Thanksgiving and then going out for dinner.

I bought one of those dinners with the turkey and all the trimmings from Safeway one year when I was too busy at work to cook, and it was good. I made a couple special sides to go with it and some extra stuffing, but it was good enough that I'd do it again. I remember that as one of my most relaxed Thanksgivings ever, to be honest: I went for a walk with my family before dinner instead of spending all that time in the kitchen.

We are traveling several hours to be with family this year, and I suggested to my 23yo daughter that she offer to hostess since my MIL really isn't up to it anymore. Her boyfriend likes to entertain, and was happily menu planning even before the end of the conversation, so it appears as though the torch is being passed this year :-)

I'm not sure which mashed potato casserole you all are talking about, but here's a recipe for one that I've been making for a long time. My daughter's requested that I bring it this year along with dinner rolls. I tell ya, if that's all I have to make for Tday dinner this year, I'm a happy camper :-)

Becky

* Exported from MasterCook *

Rich Mashed Potatoes

Recipe By :Becky Chatham
Serving Size : 12 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Freezer Potatoes

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
4 pounds Potatoes (12 medium)
4 cloves garlic -- pressed
1 package Cream cheese -- (8-oz.)
1/8 teaspoon white pepper
1 stick butter or margarine
1 cup sour cream
2 teaspoons Salt
1/2 teaspoon paprika

Grease casserole dish. Cook potatoes and pressed garlic in water, drain, mash. Add butter,
cheese, sour cream, salt and pepper. Beat
until fluffy. Sprinkle with paprika. Bake 350 for 30 minutes. This
keeps in freezer, but thaw bake when ready to use.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
NOTES : Makes one 9x13 pan or two 8x8 pans.

Ann, Thanksgiving is the only holiday I really care about, and its the one tradition thats really important in our family. We dont really do any other holiday celebrations like we do Thanksgiving. Being together with family is as important as the food, but we are always open to something new on the table. Thats part of the fun.

I cooked dinner for a couple of years for just the family, and it was not very satisfying. I felt a lot like aptosca,that's a lot of hard work for a meal that's over in half an hour. Now that the kids are married or in serious relationships, they come over several times a month for dinner and an afternoon or evening visit, so having them for Thanksgiving dinner is not much different.

It's hard to get everyone together more than once or twice a year, so Thanksgiving dinner is an important extended family reunion, with sisters, their husbands, nieces, nephews, in-laws, ex-in-laws, friends, neighbors, etc. With my kids moving off into their own lives and spending holidays with their spouses families, I much prefer to have them with our family for Thanksgiving.

The potato casserole recipe that Becky posted is very similar to the one I've used over the past 20 years or so. I can't remember where I got this, but it makes things so much easier and it's really good:

"Do-Ahead Mashed Potatoes" (12 servings)

9 large russet potatoes (approx 6 to 6 1/2 lbs) peeled and cut into large chunks
1 cup sour cream
6 oz. Philly cream cheese - room temperature
1 stick unsalted butter - room temperature
1/2 cup milk
1 tablespoon onion salt
pepper to taste

Lightly butter a 9 x 14 inch oval baking dish. Boil potatoes until tender - drain. Use an electric mixer - mash potatoes in a large bowl with remaining ingredents *using only 5 tablespoons of the softened butter*. Transfer to prepared dish. Dot with remaining 3 tablespoons of butter before baking.

Can be prepared up to 2 days ahead. Be careful not to put a cold glass dish directly in a hot oven. I usually let it sit at room temperature for an hour or so before baking if it has been refrigerated. Bake uncovered at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes until heated through and light brown.

seagrass

Here's what works for me for a mini-Thanksgiving, or the big one for that matter... I do as much ahead of time as possible, so I'm essentially down to a heat-and-eat meal. I refuse to do the all-day cook-a-thon anymore, with more food than a body needs at any one time, but DO include many (not ALL) of the traditional flavors and some of the favorites. You can trim the menu and divide the preparation out throughout the week (or two) before.

1. MAKE-AHEAD MASHED POTATOES

5# potatoes (scrubbed if leaving peel on) - cooked & drained. Mash, adding: 6 oz. cream cheese, 1 c. sour cream, 1/4 c. butter.

These potatoes can also be frozen, thawed, and reheated, but keep in the refrigerator a couple days before use, as well. This is the recipe I make and freeze in dollops for single-servings when potatoes are buy one bag, get one free.

2. Make a whole or 1/2 breast. I bake it well ahead of time and freeze it, sliced, ready to reheat. If you prefer, bake a whole turkey ahead of time and portion it for reheating. I like to reheat in a Reynolds plastic baking bag or foil baking pouches (no pan to wash). The drippings/broth for making the gravy are also frozen, or use a jar of turkey gravy for convenience sake.

Bake the turkey ahead of time and you'll have lots of packets of frozen turkey for other quick meals - ready in the freezer.

I've also served fresh turkey cutlets - brown lightly, place in a baking dish and give it a "bath" in Cream of Chicken soup, thinned with milk, plus some poultry spices added to the mixture. The soup makes the gravy. You can also add halved new potatoes to this mixture and avoid making mashed potatoes. Bake in moderate oven about 1 hour (sorry, I don't follow a specific recipe for this - it's one of those dump dishes). I've also cooked it on top the stove in the pan (with the lid on) I've browned the turkey cutlets in + potatoes. Add the foil-wrapped dinner rolls that you baked ahead of time, the last 15-20 minutes of the baking time.

3. If you want a fresh alternative to cranberries:

Gingered-Apple Cranberry Salad
(prep. time: 15 minutes)
2-1/2 c. cubed red apples (2-3 medium)
1/2 c. chopped celery
1/4 c. sweetened dried cranberries
1/4 c. mayonnaise or salad dressing
1 T. orange juice
1 t. grated gingerroot
6 large lettuce or spinach leaves (if desired)

1. In large bowl, combine apples, celery and cranberries; mix well.
2. In small bowl, conbine mayonnaise, orange juice and gingerroot; blend well. Add dressing to salad; stir gently to coat. Serve on 6 individual lettuce-lined plates. Yields 6 (1/2 c.) servings.

3. Pumpkin Pie... Make the quick and easy version of Bisquick's Impossible Pumpkin Pie, or this Pumpkin Pie Pudding dessert (which is even quicker and one and all around here like). I guarantee if you have whipped cream, no one will miss the "pie".

We had a mid-summer Thanksgiving (per request) for a friend returning from Iraq. To keep the heat out of the kitchen, I served the Pumpkin Pie Pudding. Our SIL (Army Officer) is leaving for Afghanistan just before Christmas and wanted this recipe so he can make it while he's away for Christmas.

PUMPKIN PUDDING

1 can (15-oz.) canned pumpkin
1/2 t. pumpkin pie spice
1-1/2 c. milk
1 (3.5-oz.) package instant vanilla pudding

1. Mix pumpkin and pumpkin pie spice together in a bowl with a wooden spoon.
2. Slowly stir in the milk. Mix well.
3. Add the instant pudding mix and stir slowly for about one minute until it thickens.
4. Pour into pretty serving dishes and chill in the refrigerator.

If you miss the crust of a pie, top the dessert with some crushed ginger snaps.

4. SPICY ASIAN GREEN BEANS
(These sure beat the traditional green bean with onion rings and mushroom soup recipe ;-).

Beans: 1 bag (14-oz.) frozen whole green beans (Aldi baby whole green beans are excellent, you can substitute fresh, cooked, green beans as well)

Sauce:
1/4 c. orange juice
1 t. cornstarch
3 T. soy sauce
1/8 to 1/4 t. crushed red peppers
1 small clove garlic, minced (omit if you don't have or like garlic)

1. Cook green beans as directed of the bag. Drain; place in serving bowl.
2. Meanwhile, in 1-quart saucepan, mix all sauce ingredients well until blended. Heat to boiling. Reduce heat to low; simmer 1-2 minutes, stirring constantly, until thickened and clear.
3. Stir sauce into cooked green beans to coat.
Note: easy on the pepper flakes if you don't like a lot of "heat".

-Grainlady

I lurk here often but had to weigh in on this subject. For years I killed myself making fabulous gourment Thanksgiving meals for my immediate family of four. One year we had to travel so I told my kids that I'd make an abbreviated meal before we left. I asked them to tell me their absolute favorites. They told me they wanted CRESCENT ROLLS and GINGER ALE W/MARASCHINO CHERRIES! Sigh. I don't kill myself on Thanksgiving amymore.

Have you thought about going out and making a small turkey or turkey breast and a few favorites for leftovers?

For years, I did Thanksgiving dinner. When I had a lot of family around me, it was fun. Mom always brought homemade buns, and always fussed because she thought they might be "too dry", and of course she was always late because she was waiting for them to come out of the oven. My sisters would bring devilled eggs and salads, and my sister-in-law would bring something strange that most people wouldn't eat. She would never take it home with her so I always had to deal with it later. One time it was a fruit mixture with so much cinnamon in it that it was kind of gummy. It made the BEST fruit bread later on, though. But anyway, several of us would be bustling around in the kitchen and visiting while we worked. It was the only time my sister and I got to talk without her husband listening in -- he would be busy in the living room with the other husbands.

Now, it's just DH and me, our two kids and two grandsons. Most of the time, they're all late, so I have no help in the kitchen beforehand. Since I have a dishwasher, they all assume there's "no cleanup" after, and they sit around and visit with each other while I work in the kitchen alone and feel unappreciated. Yes, I could go ask them to help, but I'd have to tell them each thing I needed them to do and in some cases, show them how to do it. I'd have to be ready for another task when the first one was done or they'd disappear back into the living room. It's not like it was with my sisters. They saw things to do and did them. It's just not the same when you have to ask people to come help you.

Anyway, that was the scenario until a couple years ago, when I decided I'd had enough of that. For the past two years, I have just roasted the turkey in my big roaster. No side dishes unless someone brings them. DD usually will bring pecan pie just because it's not Thanksgiving to her without it. Ahead of time, I buy several kinds of cheese and breads and pickles/olives/onions and two or three kinds of lettuce. I make a batch of honey-mustard and I always keep real mayonnaise on hand. Then on Thanksgiving I just lay everything out and wait for the turkey to get done. Being in the roaster, it doesn't need basting. I do still make pumpkin pie, but I use one of those "Makes it's own crust" recipes. I keep vanilla ice cream in the freezer all the time and if anyone wants topping they can get a scoop of that.

This lets me be lazy on that day. The only clean-up is putting stuff away. If I leave the roaster on "warm" while everyone's here, I can generally wait till everyone's gone to pull the rest of the meat from the turkey carcass and drain off the liquid, and then put the carcass and skin back in the roaster with some water and let it simmer all the rest of the day and overnight. By morning I have wonderful broth for soup all winter.

On Christmas, it's become pretty much the same thing, only I get a country ham. The broth makes wonderful beans later on.

I've had no complaints at all. I'm not left with a sink full of pots and pans and half a sweet potato casserole that no one wants to finish off. And I am not worn out by the time everyone goes home.

I decided to do this after a friend of mine who has 5 kids shared how she handles having all of them come in at one time in the summer. She made several salads (slaw, macaroni, Jello and green) and bought cold cuts and kept everything in the refrigerator. When someone got hungry, they grabbed a paper plate and fixed their own meal. --Ilene

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, it's for everyone! I love that I can expect the same exact menu when we go to our family friend's for the past 25 years, nothing can be changed or else there will be protest. We can always add something new, but the basic meal stays the same. There's something to be said for spending just one day with your family or friends, whether it's one, two or forty people, that is a great routine! This is the one holiday I look forward to even though I have to take two Benadryl and I end up asleep on the couch because of their cats. Gets me out of the dishes anyway :)

So maybe you can add some new things to make it interesting, instead of taking away the favorites.

I did like Thanksgiving when I was living at home and it was all about family. I even liked it when DS was little and we were just starting to establish our own traditions. I guess things have got stale and it seems so much work for so little reward.

We have no family to share it with, everyone is far away. Both DH and DS do their own thing after eating. I get to do the cleanup. Whoopee! And I don't expect them to change after 31 years with DH and 24 with DS. SIGH.

I guess I want to try new foods just to shake things up and make it more fun for me who does all the work. I did get DH to agree to cooking the turkey on rotisserie. Hurray, one victory for me!
Clare

Clare, I think you've made wonderful progress and I know how you feel about being the one doing all the work. I don't have family in this state either. I don't mind doing the big turkey and trimming thing all by myself once in a while but I think every other year for me is enough. We were spoiled by really good meals and experiences the first few years we did T-day in restaurants. That hasn't been the case the past few times.

T-day plans are sort of established. The kids and I will eat a nice meal out and do our traditional post-meal hike. I just don't know where that will be yet. I wouldn't mind a beach hike. Half Moon Bay? Marin? San Francisco could be fun.

We will have a meal with grandparents in a restaurant on a day other than T-day. And I will make a turkey breast and stuffing with some gravy to have something at home in the frig for "leftovers."

Rotisserie turkey? I think I'd like it. Elery is game for anything, b8t my girls want turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, homemade rolls, Ocean Spray jellied cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes with marshmallows, 7 layer salad and green bean casserole. I won't even eat the green bean stuff and I scrape the marshmallows off the sweet potatoes.

I do all the cooking, all the shopping, all the cleaning up, always, and have done it every year since I was 18 and got married, that's 35 years or so. I still love it, Dad always said that cooking was my way of showing I loved someone and watching the people I love most enjoy a meal that I made makes it worth all the dishes afterward. Plus, that gives me some downtime to think about how blessed I actually am and how thankful I should be.

Which reminds me, I should ask my mother if she wants to come to dinner, now stepdad has passed away. This will be her first year without him, I think stepmom is going to my sister's. Poor woman (stepmom, not sister, LOL). Maybe I should ask her too.....

Annie

Ilene, I want to know about the pumpkin pie that makes it's own crust. Can you share the recipe?

How about frying or smoking the turkey? Both are very good and easy to do. A Brinkman Smoker runs about forty bucks....then there are ribs, pork butt,chicken....to smoke another time.

Our TG dinner is cast in stone and has been forever. You can add but don't think about changing or taking anything off of the menu....including that green bean casserole..lol!

Like others mentioned it is my favorite holiday. Family, food, football and that wonderful leftover sandwich the next day.

David

What an interesting post! Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday until it got passed to me to host it. I do a whole lot of casual dinners for friends and family, but I confess I do not enjoy all the fuss that goes into serving a formal meal. When I watch those Food Network shows and Martha Stewart showing all the crafty ways you can create "tablescapes" for holiday tables I want to curl into a ball and wake up on New Year's Day.

I love trying out new recipes and concentrating on the food at other times. But I feel very pressured putting on THE meal where everyone(at least in our families..)will be disappointed if their favorite expected side is not there, and if it isn't prepared the same way they remember it's been for decades.

Then there's the %$#*@ turkey - One person only likes Butterball's, another swears it has to be local and fresh, etc.. We have tried at least 4 methods of cooking the bird and still have not found a way to have it look like a magazine cover, and taste good. Seems to be an either/or. DH says this year we should just plop it in a pan and turn on the oven and to heck with swathing it in cheesecloth and basting it with a wine/butter/herb mixture every 15 mins. for hours.

Part of the problem is getting the entire house "company clean" in addition to the planning, shopping, table setting, cooking, baking and cleaning required for the meal.

In the end I am always thankful to share this special meal with family, but I am also always thankful the next day when it is over for another year......

I love Thanksgiving. There will only be six of us this year but it will be special because I will have sister and BIL who were contractors in Kabul until very recently. My sister has not had a real Thanksgiving in a very long time. They were always in some very strange place and had some makeshift holiday that really wasn't since it was never a holiday in Armenia or Moscow or Macedonia. I will make all her favorites even the ones that make me gag.I wish there more of us but I will also have my lovely daughter in law and my son who is recuperating from a serious operation at my house. All in all, I am very grateful. It is a special year that may never come again.I intend to get all the stuff out and if I could make the things from Martha Stewart I would. Well maybe not that...

I am ready to skip from right now into January. Neither DH nor I have family nearby (1,200 miles is the closest) so there are just the two of us. Invite friends? No thank you. I don't care for his friends/acquaintances, and he doesn't care much for mine. Seems like we both like one partner, and don't care much for the other.

Our dear neighbor always invites us, and we always decline, because we absolutely cannot STAND her inlaws who are (of course) there for the occasion. besides, her DH shares the cooking, and they are both really bad cooks.

None of the reasonably priced restaurants around here take reservations..so there is a 1-2 hour wait for a table, then a mediocre meal. Not an option!

I have considered for several years volunteering at a local place for the annual holiday free dinners..but DH won't hear of it. Has no use for "those deadbeats" as he calls them. The man has no compassion for anyone he doesn't know personally.

I will probably bake a couple of pies (one for the neighbor) and roast a turkey breast, and of course make cranberry sauce and dressing in order to have leftovers, make mashed potatoes and gravy and maybe a sweet potato and apple dish which has become traditional, just because those are the things I like and want to eat. There will be no help at all, with the cooking or the cleanup. My problem, not his, I know, and it's gone on too many years now to change.

Oh, how I wish I had family here to cook for. I really like to put on a big family feed..but when dinner takes hours to cook and minutes to eat it seems so futile!

I certainly will enjoy Thanksgiving this year...alot to be thankful for here in this household. I am a little disappointed I can't cook the whole thing, as normal, if there is a normal, but the make ahead potato receipes here will help, and anything else I can do ahead. I may opt for a cajun fried turkey from a local restaurant here, as we had one during the last holiday and it was very good.

Growing up was always big family holiday dinners hosted by my parents. Usually over 40 would attend, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, it was a great time. After all the grandparents passed the family sort of fell apart so it was just my immediate family. As we all married we still celebrated at my parents home. All the new in-laws were invited so we had a big gathering again. Even after I divorced the now outlaws and ex were invited for the sake of my DD. It still was good even after I remarried and still had the ex, his new wife and his parents plus my sisters ex and her new husband. My mother just shook her head as I told her we were the perfect dysfunctional Hallmark family.

My DD married into a large family the year after we move up the lake permanently. Now we had a problem. DD was expected to have dinner with her dad and his family plus her new husbands family. I told her to do what she wanted to do not what she felt like she had to do so some years she was here and some not. As all my nieces and nephews married and had little ones we were back to having really big thanksgiving dinners still at my parents home.

When my mother passed away it all fell apart again. Turns out my family really didnt like each other all that much. It was a surprise to me when I found out I needed to be invited to thanksgiving dinner. When that happened DH and I decided to stay home and make chili. He doesnt care much for turkey so we have made chili and garlic bread our tradition for the last four years. Some years DD and family come up and sometimes we go down to her house but its always chili. The only issue we have now is my dad. I know he is upset that his children dont get together but all he has ever said is he knows everybody walks on eggshells around my sister and I will never say anything that would upset him plus he loves chili and always shows up.

We dont do much for Christmas anymore but we have started a tradition of family vacations. Going to Washington DC in the spring with DD, DSI and DGS and his girlfriend. Next year we are renting a house on Maui for Christmas and new years for the six of us. An Alaskan Cruse is in our future plans as well as a NASCAR race someplace outside of California. We all are going to see The Trans Siberian Orchestra for my birthday and thanksgiving this year.

My point is family changes so traditions change. Its been a good thing for my now smaller family and maybe someday when we have GGC we will go back to a more traditional Thanksgiving. I dont know about the turkey part but maybe we will do a pumpkin pie!

Claudia

There are only 2 or us a dog and a big herd of cats. They all love the turkey and wait for it. We always make the same things and like it that way. We like it so much that we do the same thing at Christmas time.

Clare, how about if you make one extra dish that is whatever you want. Something just to perk you up that only you has a say in. That way the other two get all the regular stuff and you get to try something different. Make that your tradition. One for Clare Day. Smiles.

From everything I read above, I think one has to follow their hearts and initiate change from tradition, even at Thanksgiving, if that's what you feel like doing.

Chopping up the turkey breast and making pot pies a day ahead can liberate you from all the same day cooking ; I did that one year because I was tired of being stressed out from noon to 6 on xmas day, trying to prepare, assemble and serve the hot turkey dinner with sides for 12 people.

I just got back here after spending election week in NY & saw this thread. It really strikes a chord in our household as well. I've been the T-day cook since 1970 & I'm very tired of the whole process. The meal isn't really special anymore because we are Blessed with ample food on the table year around as opposed to decades ago when the huge T-day meal was a real splurge. Also, our family is smaller now & spread out over several far-flung states.

Now, for T-Day we serve dinner to those less fortunate than ourselves at our local food bank. Then, on Friday, I'll cook the traditional meal but with chicken instead of turkey. Why chicken? Because I'm the cook & I don't like turkey...that's why! lol On Saturday, we'll go to our son's house for a non-stressed visit.

We are still adjusting to Christmas plans with a smaller family & are doing something different every year. We'll celebrate our 25th anniversary on December 1 & DH is taking 10 days vacation. We're going to make it our Christmas celebration...haven't decided where we're going but will make reservations this week...possibly Savannah or Hilton Head??

I'm also tired of doing the Christmas tree thing &, most likely, will not this year. We're not shopping for anyone this year...all of our gift budget is going to our local food bank. They are desperate this year for contributions. I'm just sending cards wishing everybody a happy holiday season with a note that we've donated a turkey in lieu of their gift. Some will, probably, be upset with us...too bad.

/tricia

tricia, excellent ideas and motives, you'll probably set a trend for the years to come and others will follow suit.

Clare, it sounds like the problem isn't so much about the food as it is about all the hard work and lack of reward. No, you can't just expect your family to change, but you can teach them to appreciate the work you do.

When I was little my siblings and I were a bunch of brats. We would complain about this and that, fuss at my mom when she'd try something new, and always try to get out of cleanup. One day my parents sat us down and set us straight. No more complaining about what my mother made unless we pitched in and cooked. There must be at least 2 compliments for every negative comment. And we better all start helping out with cleanup or we'd be stuck eating breakfast cereal. Now we find a way to compliment every dish my mom puts on the table (even if it came from a box) and we all help out with cleanup. It's more fun together anyways.

I think you should give your family 2 options. Propose the menu of your choosing, as strange and unique as you want it to be, and make it clear that you will not tolerate any complaints about it as they sit on the couch and watch football all day. OR you will make a mostly traditional turkey dinner with a few additions to keep it interesting for you, but they must pitch in with prep work/shopping/cleanup, etc. so that it is a fun holiday again for you too. The work and the joy should be shared by all.

Chrissy
\

I love Thanksgiving! It's the one holiday that is all about food and not much else!
you say you are bored with the "same-old"...but I make liots of same old meals throughout the year and never think of it....how about grilled steak, baked potato with sour cream, tossed green salad and garlic bread? or how about pot roast mashed potatoes with green peas?
But I never make that whole thing with the stuffing and mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie unless it's Thanksgiving.
I was planning on the whole crowd at my house this year, but my daughter talked me into letting her do it because her oldest will be home from college for the first time since August and some relatives of her husband's will be in town....so she will have the dinner for1 6 rather than me having dinner for 12....but I will have an assignment.
funny....in my family we argue about who "gets to have Thanksgiving" and some argue over who "has to have it."
If it stresses you out, don't do it. No one has a good time when the hostess is all stressed out. That's when my son and his wife started having family celebrations, when a relative who had been having family dinners got so stressed she had to retire for a bit of a cry before she could continue.
Relax and enjoy!
Linda C

We have relatives come over and I spend the whole time in the kitchen seething at their backs (great room attaches to kitchen). Last year, my sil never asked what she could bring and instead offered to make the gravy. My mil helped when she arrived, but by that time, it was mostly done. This year, I am delegating and telling my sil what to bring.
Guess I am not the most gracious host.
Jo

Barnmom, here's the recipe. It's a Betty Crocker Bisquik recipe:

Impossible Pumpkin Pie
Quadrupled, this recipe can be made in a 8x13" glass cake pan and served in squares.

3/4 C. sugar
2 eggs
1/2 C. biscuit baking mix
1 (15 oz.) can solid pack pumpkin puree
2 Tbsp. butter
2 1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
1 (12 fluid oz.) can evaporated milk
2 tsp. vanilla extract

Combine all ingredients. Pour into greased baking dish and bake at 350º for 50-55 minutes or till knife inserted in center comes out clean.

I make my own biscuit mix. There are a lot of recipes out there, some of them are really heavy on the shortening. I've used this recipe for probably 30 years and I don't remember where I got it to begin with:

Home-Made Biscuit Mix
Can be kept in the refrigerator for months. Keeps almost indefinitely in the freezer. Makes about 13 C. Use in any recipe that calls for Bisquik. When I make biscuits with this, I just add club soda, nothing more, but you can also mix it with water for biscuits or dumplings. For pancakes, add egg and water.

9 C all-purpose flour
1/3 C baking powder
1 3/4 C shortening
1 T salt
3 T. sugar
1 1/2 C instant nonfat dry milk

Combine all dry ingredients in large bowl. Cut in shortening with pastry blender until evenly distributed. Mixture will resemble cornmeal in texture. Put in large airtight container, store in a cool dry place.

--Ilene

Pack your bags and bring the family on up Clare. I'd love to have someone to cook Thanksgiving dinner for. *sigh*

Lots of thought provoking posts! It is interesting to see how my original post got interpreted in so many different ways. I was just looking for cooking ideas and recipes to be inspired by, but it has turned into a shrink session. I never really looked at why I was tired of Thanksgiving. I see now, that it is for many reasons.

1. I am tired of making the same menu year after year. It isn't that I don't like or want to cook, it is that I like to try new foods at least once in a while. I don't like to repeat menus. We have this conflict all the time. Both DH and DS really do have OCD, so they like things to remain the same. Solution: Make something for myself that I would like or at least a different sauce. Even just one dish, so I have something I can look forward to and enjoy. They can take it or leave it.

2. And I don't just make it once a year, so maybe that is why it isn't so special. DH loves all the fixings you get on Thanksgiving so I buy turkey legs or breast and make it a couple of times a year. We have all the fixings, well maybe a scaled down version, in the spring and summer. It has lost its charm. That is why I want to do something different.

3. We could go out, but neither one of us had a good time the one time we did it. It was like what nan_nc said, "None of the reasonably priced restaurants around here take reservations..so there is a 1-2 hour wait for a table, then a mediocre meal." And we both like the leftovers, which you don't get with eating out. And of course the dog would be shortchanged with no scraps. I don't think I could take that accusing sad look from her. She is also part of the family too. :>)

4. A mediocre meal was the way I would also describe what we got from Safeway one year. It really wasn't very good. Maybe if it had been a fancy catered dinner from a master chef I would have liked it, but that is never going to happen. LOL I kept thinking about the cost vs quality and it wasn't there. I can cook it cheaper and it is so much better. Just my experience.

5. I feel like I am getting too old and tired to do all the work. Funny, when we were first married DH always helped prepare part of the meal. I don't know when it transitioned into just me. Time for a talk. They can do cleanup, the part I hate. And I think I will make some of the dishes ahead of time, so can just heat them up right before I serve the meal. No reason they HAVE to be made that morning. Thank goodness for microwaves.

6. As I get older I am getting more nostalgic for the "good old days". Which I know in reality weren't so great. But I do miss those big family gatherings with all the relatives. It has always been just the 3 of us, because we don't have any family living close. It never really bothered me until lately, maybe because I have lost so many older relatives in the last couple of years. It seems we only have family reunions at funerals. Like a lot of the really big holidays, it is now tinged with sadness. It looks like we have to come up with some new traditions. Off with the old, on with the new. Maybe go to a movie together or do something different after the big meal to make it more of a 'family' event. If the weather is nice, I would love a walk on the beach. Walk off all those calories! We are in a rut and need to get out of it.

Thanks everyone for the insight.

Clare

This really is an interesting thread, and several thoughts come to my mind. What LindaC just said is kind of along the lines of what I was thinking, what about the other 364 days of the year? What do you cook then? Does your DH complain if it's not the same thing on Mondays as you always cook on Monday? Are you not able to cook the things you like to cook on other days of the year, or is it just Thanksgiving that your DH is picky about? He does sound a bit unreasonable and demanding, and definitely stuck in his ways, but can you not cook interesting foods on other days? I'm afraid I might be sounding harsh, and I don't mean to be, but I'm just wondering if there's some way for you to get enjoyment from cooking at all. Can you get him in there to help you in any way? Have you actually talked to him about what your feelings are? That seems like the first step to take, just talk to him and explain how tired you are of doing all the work and, more than that, not being allowed to have fun doing it.

My co-worker buys several turkeys this time of year because they're on sale. She freezes them, and cooks them occasionally throughout the year. She lives alone, but has several cats, and she cooks the turkeys more for her cats than for herself, but she eats them too. Maybe there could be some other day that you prepare a turkey dinner with any of the fixins done any way you want, and your DH wouldn't have any expectations of tradition. Just a thought.

I am in a different boat, and I laughed outloud at Ilene's post about her SIL. I'm that SIL going to my DH's sister's house for Thanksgiving. We've gone to DH's family's house for Thanksgiving nearly every year for the 31 years we've been married - first to his parent's house, then to his sister's house when their father moved in with them after their mother passed away. My SIL always fixes pretty much everything, except my DH makes some pies that we take. I'm vegetarian, but she makes so many sides I have plenty to eat. Every year it's the same thing. I'll ask, "What do you want me to bring?" She'll say, "Oh, I don't know, whatever you want to eat." I don't know what comes over me, but every year I come up with something that no one wants to eat but me. lol. One year I made the Mediterranian Salad with the cous-cous that Giad De Laurentis did on her show. I've made it for a few dinner parties and it's always been a hit, so I thought it would be appreciated at SIL's house - not! I've taken salads made with mixed greens, you know, like the mesclan mixes that you can buy, only I've grown them in my garden. Since it wasn't iceberg lettuce, it sat there, uneaten by anyone but me and DH. I don't remember what else I've taken, but it doesn't matter, cause they just don't like my cooking. So I was talking to DH the other day just about this subject. What should I bring this year that no one but me and DH would eat? lol. Oh, I take it back, there was one thing I took once that my SIL LOVED. It was chocolate truffles. Maybe I should just stick to chocolate stuff, and she'll be happy.

Actually, it makes me kind of sad. The one really big food day, and I don't get to play because SIL does it all, and for whatever reason doesn't seem to want help, or is too set in her ways to think of something I can bring, and doesn't like what I bring anyway( except chocolate truffles.) I can count on one hand how many Thanksgiving dinners I've been able to host in the last 31 years. I often wish I could host Thanksgiving more often, just because, in spite of the stress I feel when I actually do host dinner parties, I still enjoy it, and I would enjoy getting to host Thanksgiving more often. But all of the family lives in one city except us, so it doesn't make sense for me to host. So, Thanksgiving will remain at their house for all of eternity. (Okay, maybe not that long.)

Sally

It looks like I was posting at the same time you were, Clare, and you addressed some of the things I wrote about. How funny.

Sally

Oh, Sally, I'm glad you had a laugh. My SIL Barbara was a wonderful person (she's been deceased for about 6 years now) and I loved her very much. I didn't care that her cooking style was not to our liking and I would always eat some of what she brought even when no one else would, and tell her it was good. Eventually, one of my sisters did something to me that hurt me very deeply. Then to ease her conscience, she put a spin on it that made it look like I "deserved" it and took her case to the family while I said nothing. My dear SIL saw through it immediately, and was the only member of my family who reached out to me.

It's tough being a SIL. I know because my DH has 8 sisters. One of them had so many married children that they all took over the kitchen and we "elders" sat around and visited. It was heartwarming to see them all bustling around in the kitchen like an orchestrated event, each with her own tasks, the conversation about their kids, their husbands, and their mother/mother-in-law when we older folks were out of ear shot. Another of DH's sisters was someone I just couldn't stand and whenever I offered to help in her kitchen she'd give me something awful to do, such as peeling onions that I swear she must've bought just for me. I was younger than them and prettier, too, even if I do say so myself and I think it gave this sister a lot of satisfaction to see my eye makeup all gone after having completed my task. The last time I was at her house, however, one of my little grandsons got sick right in the middle of her white carpeting. Somehow I didn't mind that I didn't have any mascara on.....

It sounds to me like your DH's family has simple tastes. Gourmet food is lost on some people. Then, too, every family has it's "soul food". In DH's family, they love blackberry cobbler and I cannot stand all those seeds.

I've always loved Thanksgiving and have only had the opportunity to cook for a large group of people a few times in my adult life. Both of my parents are passed and I'm not close (physically or emotionally) to any of my siblings, so it's normally DH and me.

We go to his sister's house every year for Thanksgiving, which is very nice, but I would love to have a big family to cook for!

If I wasn't married, I'd probably hire myself out! :-)

Clare,
I appreciate your honesty about being a little burned out. I think it happens to everyone occasionally!
We've had friends over for Thanksgiving several times when we were going to have a small crowd. I ask them to bring a dish, so it cuts down on the number of dishes that I have to cook. Also conversation is good so the meal lasts longer than when "just" the regular family members sit down to scarf it down. Then there is the bonus of having more hands for clearing the table, carrying food to the dining room and cleaning up.
I'll bet there is someone who is longing to have a homemade dinner and time with a family that could join those of you who feel out of sorts about cooking for just a few.
It isn't any harder to do Thanksgiving dinner for 8 than it is for 3.... aside from the fact that you won't have any pie left over if you only bake one!!!!

Grace

Thanksgiving would be a lonely and boring time for us if we hadn't opened up our Thanksgiving to friends. We have quite a few families who share our Thanksgiving with us, and it's one of our favorite times of the year. Everyone brings food and pitches in, and we have the hustle and bustle of a large "family" gathering. We have 25 or 30 people some years.

Perhaps your son has friends who don't have family in town who'd like to share the holiday with you? Some of my son's friends come eat with us at noon and then go have a second Thanksgiving at their parents' homes later.

Going for a walk or out to a movie sounds like a fun new tradition!

Clare --

I was so glad to read your #5, about asking your husband and son to help with the clean up. I had wanted to suggest it, but didn't want to come across the wrong way -- but I think asking is the best way to get the help you want and help make Thanksgiving feel fun again...

BTW, two thanksgiving favorites of mine are chipotle lime mashed sweet potatoes and the braised red cabbage that SharonCB originally posted here... Let me know if you're interested in either and I'll post them...

Emily

We have invited and even had friends over in the past. I really enjoyed that. But as DS got older and his Autism became more apparent, friends started declining. So it was just the 3 of us.

Emily - I would love your Chipotle Lime Mashed Sweet Potato recipe. If only for me, DH and DS don't eat spicy foods. And I can't take it if it is too hot but I do like it. We have Braised Red Cabbage at Christmas when I do a whole German Christmas dinner of Sauerbraten, Spaetzle, and Linzertorte for dessert. That is from DH's side of the family.

Clare

I would love the braised red cabbage recipe... :)

Ilene, thank you for the recipe. I'm going to try it with the home version of Bisquick. I have never liked the taste of Bisquick. Can't tell you what's in it that tastes off to me... Pumpkin anything is well liked here. And I can make it in the toaster oven I think.

I have an excuse for not cooking the meal this year or really last year, either. My oven is defunct and I've lacked the funds to replace it as it is a double oven and will require cabinetry as well. It's been a slim year financially. My stovetop gave up it's last remaining burner just yesterday and I broke out the hot plate to boil water. I had no oven last year either and two working burners. I cooked everything over the course of two days in my ex's oven and warmed things in the microwave here. I needed roller skates those two days, including T-day. I have no inclination to repeat this nonsense. The food turned out fine, even quite good in spite of the awkwardness. But what an ordeal. Alice helped which was nice.

When I was part of a couple we had other couples that we partnered with for T-day but as a single mom the kids and I seem to be on our own the past 9 years. I have only my former in laws as family anywhere close. My family that remains is in another state or we'd surely all gather together.

I do what I am able to do. No one seems to complain. The first year we went out for our meal was because I couldn't make it for reasons I won't go into here. What we discovered was that the meal was good, we had fun together (another family joined us), and no one had to clean up. It was so relaxing! And since then the family appreciates it when I do cook the T-day meal at home. But I still don't get any help with the dishes!

Eileen

angelaid - I wish I could come up. I would love someone to cook for me, but I would feel guilty if I didn't help at least a little.

seagrass _ I always wanted to make a different stuffing. That one sounds good to me! Also thanks for the Make-Ahead Turkey Gravy. I will have to do something about gravy if we do rotissie the turkey. Also thanks for your Mashed Potato version.

Becky - Those Mashed Potatoes sound decadent. I think I put on a couple of pounds just reading it. LOL

grainlady - Thanks for the Gingered-Apple Cranberry Salad. It sounds really good. I love anything with ginger. And DS will love the Pumpkin Pudding. Maybe make that the week after when there is no more pie. I think I will try to sneak in the Spicy Asian Green Beans, but leave out the red peppers and put a dash of Tabasco instead. If they don't see the spice, they might not notice it.

Ilene - I will have to give your Impossible Pumpkin Pie a try sometime. Like I said before DS LOVES anything pumpkin. I make my own all year long, because he loves them so much.

David - I have a friend who has a turkey frier and fries her turkey. I always wanted to do that but too scared. Smoked sounds good too.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their recipes.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. (early)
Clare

Eileen, if you have an extra $30 at some point you could buy one of those big electric roasters at WMT. And there's a lot you could cook in a crock pot if you have one. Sometimes you can find good used crock pots at thrift shops or yard sales. If you lived near me I'd sure invite you over for our "sandwich buffet".

I've been thru some pretty tough financial times myself. I certainly know how it is. Gets pretty depressing around Christmas time when there's so much money being thrown around all around you. This Christmas when lots more people are experiencing a money crunch might be different. I hear people are staying out of the stores in droves.

On the upside, going thru lean times is a great education! It wasn't fun, but I'm better off for it, and have never abandoned the frugal ways I adopted when I had to, in order to survive.

Clare, I guess we've bombarded you with more information than you will ever need. I've included a link to the Betty Crocker website where they have 40 "Impossible Pie" recipes for you and Eileen (and anyone else who's interested, of course). I haven't tried them all, but I have made the coconut pie, the "Breakfast Bake" (although I use cut-up potatoes rather than the hash browns and I top it with Velveeta instead of the cheddar cheese because my family loves it that way), and the French Apple pie in the past. All were pretty good. --Ilene

If your hubby is OCD about the dinner, make it for him and then get creative with the leftovers for you. Tell him it's a compromise! Also ask for a little more help in the kitchen. Hire a kid from the neighborhood/church/local school for a few hours to help with prep if you need to. Then, reward yourself with some kind of activity that you like to do, that too could be a compromise. Tell hubby you made the meal for him so he has to go to the concert with you (or whatever you want to do).

Here's some suggestions from today's Baltimore Sun, from Elizabeth Large, some more realistic than others.

Top 10 Alternatives to a Traditional Thanksgiving Roast Turkey

Obviously anything could be an alternative to a traditional roast turkey for Thanksgiving, from a ribeye steak to a deep fried turkey. But I wanted to pick foods you know would work (because of their association with native Americans, for instance) or that I've actually served or had served to me.

By the way, I'm cooking this year and I'm having a traditional roast turkey dinner. I was just talking to my brother, who's coming from the West Coast, and he says he's bringing some interesting recipes he got from Sunset magazine. He's talking about adding Swiss chard to the stuffing.

Sorry. No way.

Here's my list: ...
* Wild duck with sauerkraut (particularly appropriate because Baltimoreans eat sauerkraut with Thanksgiving dinner anyway, which I've never understood)
* Goose with fruit stuffing. Unfortunately the one time I cooked a wild goose (a hunter friend had brought it to my in-laws), it also contained buckshot.
* Native American foods like beans, squash and corn for vegetarians and vegans
* Turducken (partially deboned turkey stuffed with deboned chicken stuffed with deboned duck)
* Small roast chicken with cornbread-pecan stuffing for a couple or people eating alone
* I make a very good stuffed ham (with a bread stuffing where the bone would be). I haven't tried it for Thanksgiving, but I think it would be an easy make-in-advance choice that would taste good with traditional sides.
* An old college friend invited us to Thanksgiving once and served each of us a whole lobster. Lobster didn't go very well with the side dishes the rest of us had brought, but it was so wonderfully extravagant no one was complaining.
* My sister-in-law, using recipes from Gourmet magazine, served curried turkey breast with cranberry chutney one Thanksgiving. Her family was outraged, but it sounded kind of good to me for a change.
* In some places on the West Coast, Dungeness crab is a common alternative to turkey because the season starts in November.
* Crown roast of pork with wild rice stuffing. Pork has a autumn feeling to it (I would never serve it for Christmas dinner even though I know it can be traditional), and the fact that it's a crown roast makes it seem grand enough for an important meal.

I have another co-worker that it's just her and her DH. They always have Cornish Game Hens. It works perfect for them, since a turkey would be way too much.

Sally

Such an interesting thread! I'm new to posting...have 20 coming for Thanksgiving and we are going to do a "group cook" of some things, as I've learned that it's a lot just to get the house in order plus shop plus set a pretty table PLUS cook! Anyway, we are grilling our turkey as it gets the guys involved and it works great. Let me know if you want directions for this using a gas grill (also frees up your oven!). And I make as much ahead as possible, to include pumpkin and apple pie, chocolate cake, mashed potatoes (go into crockpot), sweet potato casserole (can do 2 days ahead and bake day of), green beans with shallots (blanch ahead), cranberry apple casserole (can make 1-2 days ahead), grilled veggies (and yes -- the guys are in charge of this as well as they cook while the turkey is resting). So what I've learned is to prep ahead and give they guys some of the cooking -- much easier. Now can you all help me with centerpieces? That's where I'm lost.... :-) Gloria

Gloria, I'd love to see your directions for grilling your turkey using a gas grill. I saw Bobby Flay do one on his gas grill this morning, but can you please post your directions? I was talking to my hubby about that and we just may try it this year.

I too do a lot of dishes or prep in advance, including make-ahead gravy. I roast several turkey wings with some onions, carrots & celery and make gravy with those pan drippings a night or two in advance. Just re-warm instead of trying to make gravy while everything else is going on. It helps to make the cooking less stressful on Thanksgiving day.

All this reminds me of a friend who when she got married to a frugal man -they were a great match though- he bought 11 frozen turkeys (at the cheap price) for future meals. I was in awe and glad I wasn't her.

Gloria - Since this is my first time and you have experience, how do you grill a turkey? We are using the rotisserie. I really look forward to that change. I love rotisserie chicken.

ilene_in_neok - Thanks for the link.

dedtired - DH said your exact words last weekend, Thanksgiving meal is sacrosanct! I had to laugh.

momj47 - I would love Lobster or Dungeness crab over Turkey, but I am out voted. I think even the dog would prefer Turkey.

Clare

it's just going to be Me and Mom for T-giving this year, and perhaps a family friend.

This is a first, but we're going out for dinner. I'm not all that happy about it, but it just doesn't make sense to go through all that work for just the three of us.