Thank you notes seem to be a fast-disappearing courtesy.

I have never NOT gotten a thank you note when one was indicated.

In my part of the country, Illinois, they still do. I have send and received thank you cards within the last week.

I still write thank you cards but then I like making cards and keep a good supply of them.

When my son and neice each got married in 2011, they had their Thank Yous out ASAP~~~more causal things like b-days they will text or send an email. Another neice sent TY's for her sons b-day gifts in a speedy manner.

I would say in some way we always get thank you' s. I have a DGD (22) that sends us appreciation love notes every once in awhile, her mom and Sdad kicked he out for no dam reason and we have picked up the slack as the parents in her life~~and she very much shows us how she feels;)

Yes, thank you notes are still the correct and well mannered thing to do. Unfortunately, fewer and fewer people seem to be teaching their children how to manage this basic courtesy.
After zero acknowledgement of several gifts and giftcards, I just stopped sending my neices and nephews presents.
I know I sound like curmudgeon, but if people can't even manage a call or note, they must not appreciate the effort and cost the giver put into it.
One exception - on the funeral - it still is not correct, but I can certainly understand and forgive someone in grieving.

Seems like many do not send them nor even aware that it's common courtesy to do so.
I grew up sending thank you notes to my anyone that gave me gifts, as my Mother had taught me.

I have never received thank you notes from my step daughter and family for the gifts I send, though I do send one to her for every gift she has ever sent us.

I have one DGD that sent thank you notes for her wedding gift and later the baby gift. Another DGD, married the same year and had a baby the year after has never sent a note.

I guess this another thing that is fading away and I better get used to in my old age.

They still send them in Iowa. Not so much in California. I can't tell you how many times in CA I had to call the brides months after the wedding and ask if they received my gift. Here in Iowa, I have always received prompt thanks yous for bridal and baby shower and wedding gifts.

I received a gift last Sunday and on Monday I was going to write a thank-you note which I actually seldom do. But, the giver sent me an e-mail Monday afternoon wanting to know why I hadn't sent her an e-mail acknowledging the gift. So I sent her an e-mail thanking her for the gift but also noted that I had planned on sending a thank-you note. Now, I won't bother.

We no longer get phone books and with so many people no longer having land lines but cell phones only, addresses are hard to find.

I was taught, as were my kids to write thank you notes for EVERY gift. Not many of their friends were taught to; my kids never even questioned it; they just did it.

Donna, I sure hope we don't have to accept it and get used to it. There are to many things we've learned to accept and get used to...and most of them are not so good....but that's another thread!

As a follow up to my original post, I do receive cards from people of my age (60) and I myself always send cards, but I think the younger people in their 20's and 30's are the ones who do not send out the cards. Maybe they rely on the computer instead of a handwritten card.

I never send a thank you card, but I do send a thank you note. I have always received a thank you card or phone call or email from everyone I have gifted. I do remember as a mom with young children the attention it took on my part to be sure that my children wrote thank you notes after Christmas and birthdays. But the nagging paid off and today they know their manners when it comes to thank you notes.

There may be hope yet, for younger folks. My GS on his birthday (# 7) made cards which he gave to each of the 15 kids who came to his party. Eight or ten of the kids made cards for him, to thank him for the party at the fire station. Most were pic's of fire men and such, but it was the 6 and7 year olds way for a thank you note. I was very suprised and pleased to see this done.

I'll mention again that there are many cultures for which writing a note of thanks is not done, and was never done. I guess that's because the 'thank-you' was always said in person.

I gifted my niece/goddaughter every Christmas and birthday for 18 years with almost no acknowledgement. Funnily, we did get a thank you for her hs graduation gift last June, but not for her 18th birthday in July. I had predetermined that her 18th birthday would be her last gift.

I was disappointed in my three older grandkids this past year .

I sent each of them $50.00 for their birthday. I didn't get a thank you in any form.

Their mom (my daughter) and their dad split up this past year and they are angry with her...and don't speak to us either.
I can't quite figure it out...and I miss them.

oh pattioco, how sad. I can't fathom being seperated from my grandkids; of course, I can't fathom them being old enough to make that decision either. They're all 3 and younger! May you be reunited soon! :)

DH was never taught to send thank-you notes. His sons and grandsons rarely, if ever, acknowledge any gifts...unless they are for at least several hundred dollars.

My daughter-in-law never taught my grandsons properly, and she doesn't acknowledge gifts either. When my son died, she never sent thank-you notes for flowers. I expected that she would not send them (even though she promised that she would), so I sent handwritten notes to those who attended the services, sent flowers, etc. (with the exception of her family and friends).

Two years ago, I made a beautiful quilt for DH's grand-nephew's new baby (and sent a check for $200); his wife sent a card that said "thank you for coming to my shower"--I was NOT at the shower (it was out of town), but she never mentioned the quilt or the money. One year later, I sent a quilt to their second baby--no acknowledgement whatsoever.

There have been several instances in which I have made quilts for people, and never even received an acknowledgement! Bad manners are rampant in today's young people. It's sad....

Thank you in any form is not in my DIL's family vocabulary.

I also write thank you cards even for the littlest thing. On the other hand I have also seen where they are not written by others. I did some art work recently as a gift (to 2 different) people and have yet to hear a thank you.

Just chalk it up to experience.

SamKaren
your resident DJ

To me an insincere "thank you" isn't worth much. The form thank-you notes without even an acknowledgment of what was sent or maybe an intended use for the money is simply a waste of postage and paper.

I realize many feel good about receiving mail but to me the feeling behind it is far more important. If I know it's appreciated, I feel far better than a printed "thank you" sent through the mail.

Our niece got married in September. We got a thank you note in our Christmas card. I am about done giving!!!

I'm still waiting for Christmas thank yous from SGGK respective parents. We asked SGS what his 2 would like and sent accordingly. SGD has one toddler and we used our own judgment. That may be the end of giving to them.

We did send a care package to a friend of DS serving in Afghanistan and received a gracious thank you email from him :-) Talk about warm and fuzzy - and he is home safe now.

I "always" send a thank you card, but that is how I was taught. I will "call" a person to thank them, and "also" send the card. It seems to be a lost art now.

I quit sending anything to my grandkids who never acknowledged my gifts to them. My daughter may be next. I've emailed with "Did you receive....?" and still not heard.

Whatever happened to common courtesy?

I just sent thank yous out for dad's funeral. It did take a while to get it done, with other things that had to come first, and figuring out who was who, as I didn't know some of DB's contacts. In fact, I still have a couple that I can't find an address for, but they are written and waiting for the addresses. They will go out as soon as I get the info. We don't do written thank yous for birthdays, verbal is fine, but for graduations, showers, weddings and funerals, we do. Or something unexpected, sent from out of town, ect.

I always send TY cards, even if just a note. It's the way I was brought up. I guess I didn't do a very good job with my 2 daughters. They and others in their 20's and 30's. seem to appreciate gifts and being remembered at birthdays, etc because they do verbally thank everyone but they don't send anything written.My SIL recently sent an engagement gift to our nephew but got no response. She is rather P-O'd and says she plans to boycott the wedding. My guess is she sends gifts to get thank-you notes rather than as a token of her affection for young relatives.

I still get (and send) thank you cards and taught my kids the same when they were growing up.

I will admit though, that there were one of two people that didn't get acknowledged after my FIL's funeral because we simply could not read the signature in the guest book. Otherwise, no excuses!

Like Heather, I make cards and enjoy sending them. However, I have noticed that I don't always get thank you cards from others for things I feel do deserve a thank you card. I stop being as generous if the person doesn't appreciate my efforts/gifts. And I think text thanks you are tacky for any formally given gift, such as for a baby shower.
Edited to add: I am in my early 30's.

This post was edited by alice_sj on Sat, Mar 23, 13 at 3:24

There is something that bothers me with the idea that if I "give" a "gift"' .... I DESERVE a certain type of response.

The only thing I deserve and am entitled to when I give a gift is the internal satisfaction of knowing I did something nice for another person.