Oh Dorothy -- I'm not as close to being done as you but, in my own seven+ weeks of construction chaos, I absolutely empathize!

I was thinking of you and your gorgeous kitchen the other day when I wrote my own "I-need-to-vent-and-know-I'm-not-alone" post (mine was about second-guessing myself on all my really careful decisions) and, I confess, feeling a touch of envy at how close you are to being done.

Absolutely, you have lived under stressful conditions for a while now: without a kitchen, with daily interruptions, with (probably) daily questions from the GC / subs, etc. -- when will it be your time? I remember divamum writing that as much as she genuinely liked her GC she was so excited for it to be done so she could come out to the kitchen in her pyjamas once again! Amen. And last autumn lynninnewmexico wrote a similar post about the stress / frustrations of daily interference in her life (she works from home). It's true. It's so true, isn't it?

I'm thinking of you and your truly gorgeous kitchen. I know I cannot make it any better for you, but I am pulling for you. You are not alone and many of us out here on the rest of the continent are so excited for you and greatly looking forward to seeing your kitchen as you want it seen.

Please take special care of yourself. How about some chocolate with that wine?

I totally understand, Dorothy. I think we all do here. Been there; done that . . . or rather, suffered through that! How I got through my own total reno was to set up relaxing reward times for myself and for my family.
The daily invasion got very old. I turned our bedroom into a retreat (family room connects to the kitchen, so that was out/ living room was right next to the kitchen so that was too close!). I would go there several times a day for an hour or so. The subs were told to call loudly if they needed me. I closed the curtains for privacy. Lit candles. Turned on a decorating show or some quiet music and read for a while with a nice cup of hot tea. The subs knew this was my quiet time by myself, and respected this. They called when they needed me, but that time for the most part was mine. That hour a couple times a day kept me sane!
In the evenings, our refuge was our dining and living rooms. I kept the dining room table set with pretty table cloths and we ate by candlelight every night, closed away from the reno mess . . . and I always served wine ;~) ! I turned on some nice, relaxing music while we ate. And, believe me, many nights were Stouffers Frozen Lasagna or frozen something from Trader Joes, but we ALWAYS ate our dinners like that. It helped normalize our lives more than you can imagine.
Another tip I have for you is to NOT schedule anything big for at least a couple of weeks after your kitchen is finished. Give yourselves some downtime to just be together alone in your house again and enjoying your beautiful new kitchen. Wish I would have done that one myself!

I hear you and I'm nowhere near finished. For me it's been the multiple moves and the living in boxes these last 6 months. Now we're spending a lot of money and I'm feeling overwhelmed at the choices out there. I'm also feeling a bit stressed when I see my house undergoing renovations...hard for me to envision living there when the walls are down to the studs! But it's all for a great end ...I'm thankful I have these problems. I could be living in Zimbabwe right now with multi-digit inflation and no clean water. Remind yourself you are in control of all of this and it was your choice to have a beautiful home! Now I'll have that glass of red with you...

Yes, I am nowhere near finished, I am three months into a whole house remodel, I am tired and cranky, I am thoroughly sick of the crew when they are here and I get very grumpy when they are supposed to be here and don't show up. There is just no pleasing me, I guess.

I am sick of showering at work because my shower surround is not tiled yet. I am sick of how early I have to leave in the morning to do this and drop the dog at the kennel.

I am sick of eating microwave dinners or takeout. I am sick of the amount of junk food I have consumed partly for convenience and partly for stress-relief.

I am sick of writing large checks on a weekly basis that seem to result in more dust and dirt.

I am sick of sleeping in the living room with no drapes or doors, with most of my earthly possessions plus a lot of the items needed for the remodel. I fear waking up under a pile of RevAShelf and Franke cartons one morning (see below) ...

I am sick of complaining about it :-) so I'll stop. I understand, though !

Wine, wine, and more wine! And then, after the reno, wine to get over the PTS caused by the reno!!!!

You'll get through it, we all did. (((HUG)))

Wow!
I have not even started yet, but reading you all, i am already stressed and scared. And thinking about changing my mind :)) - just maybe? - nah, the cabinets have been ordered and mostly paid for!
The cabinets have not even arrived, and i wake up at night thinking - are those three drawers will be enough? what should i do first, floors, or cabinets? what if things go wrong? things will go wrong! i know it!
oh boy. the joy of home-ownership!
The american dream come true!
I'll go get some wine. No, wait, i'll get some vodka! I am of russian stock. :)))

tina999 -

Do *not* pack away your wineglasses. Take it from me.

Or vodkaglasses ...

Oh hell, just drink it out of the bottle.

Since we DIY'd we didn't have a daily invasion of contractors but believe me some days I prayed for a contractor to drop from the heavens. Seeing all the upheaval and knowing that we were the only ones to tame it - man was that daunting at times. My husband helped me keep my sanity. He would just set small goals for completion and then we would celebrate each accomplishment - the demo completed, the floor installed, the electrical work in, the plumbing changes made, etc etc. Now we are doing the final touches - working on window treatments tonight - but there is still a mess in the dining room and guest bedroom from all the left over stuff. And also the guest bathroom has been demo'd but we haven't even started putting that back together. Now the kitchen is the cleanest, nicest room in the house so I go there to relax.

Ha-ha, Flatcoat, thanks for the advice! Must be the best one i got so far!
seriously, i am doing everything in a weird way.
I am not even sure what color those cabinets will be - since i ordered them from a tiiiiny smudge of color in tha catalog. And because of that i ca't even order the floors or the granite. Tell me, I am normal! Please!!!

I couldn't even make a countertop decision, because I knew whatever I chose I would have to live with for a long time whether I liked it or not. I finally made that decision yesterday, and they came to template today. They're installing it on Friday. It's all going fast now and I hope that I made the right decision.

Now I'm worried because no one answered my Blum slide question and I need to call the carpenter to do the drawers. I don't know what to tell him to order. It would be great if I knew the best place to buy them too.

I know my things are little campared to most, but they are big to me. And yes, I think it's normal to stress, but maybe not so healthy. I can't wait to get done with what I'm doing and to enjoy it.

Guess it's good to be normal? :) Thanks for listening. I hope this is all a distant memory for us all soon!

Eye on the prize............................

Dorothy

I think part of the reason that all of this is so stressful is that "most people" dont get it, and so it is hard to vent anywhere but here. My friends are so polite, and so supportive, but I can still see in their eyes that they "dont get it." My boyfriend has slowly come to realize that though he doesn't get it (doesn't get the stress, and doesn't get why each decision and each hurdle I jump means so much), he's better off being quietly supportive. I just about died the day that the hood went in, and he walked through the door, and just said "huh- it's crooked" and then was not happy with the buttons. I think when I told him that he was welcome to pick out a new one if he wanted to buy it, he realized he'd taken the wrong tactic. :)

It is stressful to have your house torn apart, to have to make a ton of decisions, and to worry about the money you might be wasting if those decisions are wrong. People with GC's and a crew have to deal with one type of stress, and DIY-ers have to worry about no hand holding or bail-outs. I'm doing a bit of each, and I'm glad for the balance, really.

So no, you are not alone. Like everything else worthwhile, a big remodel comes with a cost. But think about what you'll have in the end!!!!!!

Don't know your pain yet. Demo is next week. Thanks though, flatcoat, for the tips! Definitely will leave out a cork screw and a couple of wine glasse!

We are 90% done and I definitely know what you mean. This project was supposed to take 6-9 months. We are now at month 17 and probably won't finish until next month. Luckily, we have had our kitchen since Christmas. It is so nice to be having real meals again. Even though I want to be done I really enjoy the days that no one comes to do work. I have consumed many glasses of wine and beer over the past 17 months...I should have added that expense into my budget. My other worry is that we spent too much money and over built our house. I get a pit in my stomach when I think about it too much. The dust is overwhelming. Everytime I clean it up, they come and do something to create more. Just know you are not alone.

Dorothy it's got to be normal because I'm right there with you. There are a million tiny decisions at the end and patience with the contractors (whom I really adore) has worn thin. I just want them gone and I just want my house back. so hang in there. There IS light at the end of the tunnel.

yes, yes! i am in my final week (i hope!) and certainly feel the stress/let-down. i think it is a combination of cumulative effect of having people around/losing control of your time and dealing/resolving the inevitable problems and issues that come along. i'm right now waiting for both a phone company and appliance repairman to show up to look at their respective issues. i have a four hour window for each, but it is looking more and more like they'll still show up at the same time!
i think it is also letdown after months of planning and stressing over choices and having the remodel take up so much of your time/thoughts. And now that project is about gone. I'm also a little worried about problems I'll discover AFTER all of these guys are gone....
I've definitely increased my wine intake over the last week. :)

so the phone guy just showed up. long story short. i'm getting rid of the phone jack on the kitchen wall and need the wires fixed properly so they can be tiled over. he told me twice already how nice my ktchen came out. why should someone who i never met and has never seen my old kitchen have me grinning like this? ;) call it a little temporary stress relief. :)

By howdy I understand! Count yourself lucky - we haven't even started our remodel and I've had 2 anxiety attacks just dealing with the contractor! (we of course, have changes contractors and we're using a GC who will run the job and save me from the pain of having to schedule and call subs, etc). Can't wait to see your finished product!

Wow, did I need to read this message today. I feel like falling apart sometimes and my friends just don't understand. My best friend said to me, "If I was getting this kitchen, I would happily camp out in my bedroom" so I guess she doesn't want to hear any complaints from me. We've had workers here daily since the beginning of November and while I am so happy that they show up, I am tired of having people here everyday. My whole family is stressed out and now my DH decided to overhaul the backyard, so the landscapers have torn up the cement and the GC for the inside work is not happy that his work area is now gone. And now I have to figure out what I want to do with the backyard and the kitchen isn't even done. I just want to mindlessly cook in my kitchen and quit making decisions!! So, yes I think you are very normal Dorothy!