Yup, I am guilty. But sometimes it is just hard to forgive/forget.

Moni

Ditto.

I'm sorry. While that is good advice, I don't see how anyone can say they NEVER go to bed angry. If that were true then, there would be a lot of people staying awake for hours or sometimes days before going to sleep. Just not possible. IMHO AND, there's something to be said for "sleeping on it". What seems insurmountable tonight, may look silly in the light of day after a good nights sleep.

I've gone to bed angry, crying, cursing under my breath, the whole bit. But I always wake up feeling better the next morning. It's unpleasant to try to sleep when you are fuming, but it always dissipates during the niught. the sight of my sleeping spouse always melts my heart.

I'm so relieved to read that there are others who feel like me. I always thought I was the odd man out on this subject. Some times I need time to digest and mull the issue over before I can discuss something in a rational way. In the meantime, yes, I stew about it that night. We still sleep in the same bed but it makes for a very frosty room until things get resolved, usually by the next day. Been married 33 years and still each others best friend, thankfully.

Sometimes I just go sleep on the couch!

I meant to say married 43 years in previous message

I don't... but DH does. He can stew for weeks.

I don't see the point of stewing, just prefer to get everything out and settled again.

Yes.

Do you seem to be having the same argument over and over, years apart? That's my failing. I fail to accept some of the 'failings' of my DH! Why would I expect a change after 45 years? LOL

I'm feeling much better. I know I've heard that advice from when I was first married. It might be possible as a newlywed, but after a few years I say hogwash. When I'm angry you are not getting off the hook that easy!

there no way on gods green earth that no one doesnt go to bed angry! i live alone now, but trust me i can stew for weeks lol! usually over an extremly small thing or a very large thing. when im po ed theres a valid reason... too bad i have to keep pointing it out over and over again. jeeze its a bad day dont get me started lol!

Of course. Everyone does. Platitudes are just that, and not a terribly useful way to live.

When the DH and I actually do argue, it's important, and we both have valid positions. Often sleeping on the subject will allow us to come to a consensus.

I really hate when people feed this crap to the about-to-be-married young people. It's just not realistic.

I can shrug off a lot of things, but the things that have upset me over the years were really serious things...problems. I don't know that I'd call it angry...it was beyond that...and
caused problems that lasted a long time. It wasn't that I wasn't willing to kiss and make up....it was just problems that took many years to work out. We never had any little spats.

Of course I've gone to bed angry. I am a human being married to another human being and we both have the complete range of emotions given the human race.

Real marriage has a porpoise effect. Up and down. I think a lot of advice given to newlyweds is unrealistic. Marriage is not a romantic happily ever after for most if anyone. I am always suspicious of those who say they never fight. To me that only means their marriage has never been tested or there is a huge elephant in the room being ignored.

Couples have to be willing to fight for their marriage at times. It is the tough times people go through that make them stronger and that applies to life a in general as well as in marriage.

Feeding this dishonesty that you must always get along is a good way to put a couple on the road to divorce. If they can''t handle the reality of hard times whether brought on by circumstances outside or withing the marriage they will just give up too easily and divorce.

I'm glad marriage has gotten to where it is acceptable to leave a really bad situation but what some people define as a bad situation is really just a false sense of entitlement. It's become he/she doesn't make me happy instead of what can we do to make ourselves happy and our marriage strong and united.

Marriage is not a fairytale. It is a commitment to share your life with another person. Like the song goes, sometimes you're the windshield and sometimes you're the bug. LOL

Wildchild, I couldn't have said it any better myself.
Tralynn

it's good advice but sometimes it's best to go to your corner and think it out on your own...the one thing I've NEVER done is go off on a trip angry...if something were to happen to me while I was gone...or something happen to hubster...the guilt would be unbearable...so while I might have my panties in a wad while I'm getting ready...I always kiss him goodbye and tell him I love him...

When we were newlyweds..we would hash it out for hours and hours...now sleep seems to take on a more important role and things really do seem different the next morning!