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lhayes1976

Thanksgiving--Sit Down or Buffet?

15 years ago

Just curious what people do on Thanksgiving. I would love to do a nice formal sit down, but DR is too small. Would love to know how others handle it.

Comments (64)

  • 15 years ago

    We will be serving the following menu buffet style then guest will be seated at a formal table.

    At each "unassigned" place setting there will be a slip of paper with the guest's Secret Santa name. (We draw names for Christmas)

    size>color>
    *size>
    Menu
    Gravy
    Iced Tea
    Roast Turkey
    Mashed Potatoes
    Honeyed Carrots
    Bacon Cheese Dip
    Green Bean Casserole
    Spinach Cheddar Bake
    Featherlight Yeast Rolls
    Wild Rice and Portabella Stuffing
    Arugula with Fig Vinaigrette Salad
    Raspberry Schnapps Cranberry Sauce
    Daisy Cake because I donâÂÂt have a Lily pan
    Brandied Apple Crisp
    Whipped Cream

  • 15 years ago

    That's a cool looking and good sounding menu Cathy. Curious about that cranberry sauce. Could you post the recipe please.

    We do buffet serving on the breakfast bar with the gravy, rolls, relish tray, and etc on the table/tables. The few times we were home by ourselves back when we were kids Mom would put all of the food on the table and we would pass and serve.

    I love TG! The night before making pies, doing prep, and family arriving/airport runs. The day of with all the great food, family, football and games. Not to forget the infamous leftover sandwich the next day. I can't wait!!

    David

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  • 15 years ago

    It varies depending on number of guests. Usually platters on the table, self serve, passed around the table.
    If there's more people, I use my kitchen bar/island as a buffet and we just have a few dishes on the table.

    I'm not cooking the whole meal this year, we'll be going to my SIL/BIL's house which is pretty small. We'll sit on the floor if need be! :-)

    We're pretty casual and flexible. First one done gets the couch kind of thing!! Not really, but close.

    David.....you wait until the next day for a sandwich???
    Our meal is often at 1:00-2:00 and by 6 or so, someone is raiding the fridge. That usually prompts a big dessert run and/or dragging out the leftovers.

    Deanna

  • 15 years ago

    Ah, Velamina, I see. (I really must get these glasses replaced.) Thank you for your gracious answer. Denise, not so much.

  • 15 years ago

    We never do buffet at my parents' house or my sister's - it is always formal sit down with food passed around at the table. At my parents' house I carve the turkey in the kitchen and then put the slices/pieces on a serving platter that can be passed around. I generally do two gravy boats. Before dessert (and before I am finished eating), my sister will begin clearing all the dishes, and so I have to guard mine carefully. Then when I am good and ready I serve the dessert. People may have left by then, but I can't be rushed, and they generally want to stay for whatever desserts I have made. One year my nephew went across the road and shot a deer before I had begun to serve dessert.

    At my house in Westchester, I have room for two dining tables because the dining room is connected to the art studio in an open plan, and we could easily accommodate fourteen people if we had that many chairs and knew that many people. We also have dining space and a bar outside, and the weather is usually very nice here at Thanksgiving, as it is in Texas as well.

    This year we will probably go to a restaurant.

    Lars

  • 15 years ago

    I was just trying to clarify, not trying to offend.

  • 15 years ago

    David, thanks for asking.

    Cranberry Sauce

    Serves 12
    ⢠1 pound fresh cranberries
    ⢠*1 cup caster sugar
    ⢠*ý cup brown or turbinado sugar
    ⢠ý cup raspberry schnapps
    ⢠ý cup cranberry juice
    ⢠1 cup dried cherries

    Rinse and drain cranberries. In medium sized saucepan over medium heat, dissolve sugar in cranberry juice. Stir in cranberries, cherries, and schnapps. Cook on medium heat until cranberries start to pop, about 10 minutes.

    Cranberry sauce will thicken as it cools.

    Cover and refrigerate.

    *or 1 ý cups white sugar
    *adjust sugar down according to sweet tolerance

    Cool, cover, and refrigerate.

  • 15 years ago

    Interesting to see how many serve buffet style, then sit down! Here and I thought I'd invented this, because our DR table was too small! :)

    Even when we got a bigger table we kept serving the same way. So many platters are so havy, and many too hot to pass, straight from the oven, that it seemed to make more sense.

  • 15 years ago

    Oooohhh...thanks for the recipe Cathy. I love Cranberry Zebel but my family doesn't care for the kick!

    I'll give this a try at Christmas.....especially since I just bought 20 pounds of fresh cranberries at the Cranberry festival...what was I thinking?

  • 15 years ago

    Great Sharon. Originally I made the recipe with Chambord that I brought home from Chambord. But that's way too expensive so I make it with Schnapps.

    Yeah, with 20 pounds you had better be on the look out for recipes! Wish I could take some off your hands. I always wanted to go to the cranberry bogs in NE; I'll make it some day. Where was the festival?

  • 15 years ago

    Love2weed:
    I do both, like Dcarch and a few others.

    In my family there is no Formal it is Casual Formal, because we know everyone, so !!!
    LOU

  • 15 years ago

    We buffet in the kitchen and eat in the DR. It always amuses me when I see TV shows where they bring the turkey on the platter and carve it at the table! Not! That would be much too messy!

  • 15 years ago

    We buffet serve with food in the contiguous living room and sit at the table in the dining room. Rolls, sauces, etc. are on the table.

    If it's a small group, we pass dishes around.

    We don't do the thing my parents and grandparents did where the food all sits by the hostess and host (always a bad idea to put the food by my dad) who serve you and pass full dishes down. I don't think anybody does that!

    The kids eat off china. They break dishes less often than adults I think.

  • 15 years ago

    Interesting - and fori, I was going to say that while I was growing up, my father carved the turkey at the table and served everyone. It was not uncommon for someone to be ready for seconds before he had a chance to sit and eat. When my children were small, and the groups were smaller, we passed the food at the DR table. Now, with larger groups, it is buffet on the kitchen island and seated in the DR and at temporary tables in the LR.

  • 15 years ago

    We have Thanksgiving at my DD's. Since her dining table will not accomodate ten people we have a buffet and then sit at two tables. What we usually do is have a kids table and an adult table. This makes both adults and kids happy.

  • 15 years ago

    When MIL did Christmas dinner we would all sit around an overcrowded table with the turkey on a small side table for FIL to carve. We would all sit there looking at the cooling vegetables waiting for FIl to cut tiny slivers off the turkey and painstakingly arrange them on plates which were then passed to each diner. Since us DILs have taken over Christmas dinner we've gone for the buffet option and it works so much better.

  • 15 years ago

    Mine depends on the number of people too. With just the girls and the grandkids, we'll sit at the dining room table and put the food on platters on the table. I always carve the turkey in the kitchen though.

    If we have more people, we'll serve buffet style and then sit at the table to eat. If we have too many people to fit at the table, I'll set up a folding table for the kids.

    Annie

  • 15 years ago

    Thanks for the recipe Cathy! I just happen to have some Chambord my sister left here earlier this year so I won't have to buy the schnapps. Perfect fit for something new for us this year.

    David

  • 15 years ago

    Deanna, your family plan sounds just like ours. Dessert and leftovers around sixish...I hit the dessert and save the sandwich for the next day. : ) Now, that could be anytime after midnight if we are playing cards or games...maybe even for breakfast!!

    David

  • 15 years ago

    loves2weed:
    I said a boo boo, but couldn't get back in to add to it,
    because of the Adds and commercials popping up.

    I use the Buffet for all the desserts and goodies, after the Main course.

    For Dinner after everyone is seated and the Potatoes , Salad, etc. are brought to the table,
    I bring the Turkey to the table on an Old Fashioned Turkey Platter.

    I Carve the Turkey and give whatever the choice; either Dark or White Meat, to everyone.
    Then the Veggies are passed, around.
    I'll finish slicing the Bird, so anyone can have seconds.

    I know this is a terrible way to serve Dinner but everyone seems to enjoy .
    Happy Thanksgiving,
    LOU

  • 15 years ago

    Lou that is actually a very traditional way to serve dinner. I would love to do it that way but when serving 15-25 people , depending on the year, it just doesn't work. By the time the last guy is served the first guy's dinner is cold!

  • 15 years ago

    Lou, I'll bet your thanksgiving is much more "Saturday Evening Post" than ours, but, like Miss Chase, we just have too many to do it that way. But we are not a formal family, so the buffet works out well.

  • 15 years ago

    Just an idea for all:

    If you frequently have to invite a lot of people for meals, BBQ or Thanksgiving, for me, it is just not very nice to use plastic knives, forks and spoons, after you spent all the time and efforts making a wonderful meal.

    You can get cheap metal flatware on ebay.

    I have enough stainless flatware may be for a party of 50 people.

    dcarch

  • 15 years ago

    cookbook you always make me smile.......

  • 15 years ago

    Me too, Chase. Cookebook, your way of "speaking" is a joy to hear...

    Annie

  • 15 years ago

    Chase , Cookebook :
    Thanks for the compliments. If you want I'll come and carve the Turkey.

    I said before, we have had 35 for Dinner.
    Used 3 banquet tables and a heavy 5 ft.foldup.
    Part of the menu was,the Star, a 22 lb. turkey, a 25 lb.Ham
    Ravioli with Sausage and Meatballs.

    Chefs Salad, Chicken Wedding Soup and 24 inch Braided Bread
    for my Father.

    Then there were Pumpkin Pie, Desserts and my Cheese Cake.
    I did the Turkey and Ham.
    Had a lot of help with the rest of the food.

    It was all sit down, no Buffet.

    That was in the 60's. A lot of them are not here now.

    But I have a Photo of that one , somewhere.
    ***********************************************
    Those were the days my friend, we thought they'd never end!
    We'd sing and dance forever and a day !!!
    LOU

    LOU

  • 15 years ago

    It's so nice hearing about all the different traditions. I think I had a "Clark" moment and wanted the best
    %$%#*& Thanksgiving ever! I see all those beautiful set tables and everyone waiting for the beautiful bird to arrive at the table. We are really a buffet style family--especially my sons. My MIL passed away last year and our "tradition" for many years has come to and end.

    It's time for me to start the traditon with my own family. It's going to be different not being around the huge herd of family on that day, but it had become too large over the years and the quality of food went way down. I'm am so ready to cook on Thursday--my new "His Majesty" dinnerware is waiting. Buffet style it is.

  • 15 years ago

    Two of my favorite CFers smiling because of ME? My coworkers will wonder why I look so smug and self-satisfied today ;-)

  • 15 years ago

    I came from a big family and we always had a sit down dinner, and that continues to be my preference. Many of my friends do buffet because they say you don't have to spend time passing the food. I like sit down because nobody is getting up and down (aside from the host, right?!) and part of the dinner to me is passing the food around. :) Like a lot of things, I guess we're most comfortable with tradition. I have a dining room that extends to a living room - I push the couch etc to the side and bring in banquet tables and card tables and fit them in wherever possible. We generally eat around 1 - 1:30 and then later have leftovers for dinner while we play games and/or watch football. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

  • 9 years ago

    Once we go beyond 6 or so we do buffet. I do really like that my adult son who lives with me and DH (not his Dad) makes a point of setting the table so we don't eat like heathens.

    Thanksgiving with 30 plus just doesn't work as sit down.

    This year we are going out of town to a relative. Looking forward to a 5 day sleepover. My kiddo is gonnna dog sit.


  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Growing up, if it was a small group, we'd sit and pass the food around, with the bird carved at the table - yes the tablecloth would need a serious stint in the washer after! If a large group, the adults would be at the dining table, fully extended, and us kids would be at a card table or two set up wherever they'd set it up - this would be semi -buffet service, and I found it annoying to have to sit with kids at least 5 years younger than I - since the adult conversation was always more interesting.

    Nowadays, no relatives in the area. I am going to two different T Day celebrations - the first is buffet style, people choosing tables. (15-20 people). Held on the proper day. Second will be buffet but we'll all sit at the same table and converse together. (About 8 people.) Held the Saturday after.

    Hosts in both cases supply the turkey, guests bring sides and desserts.

    No TV, thankfully no football.

  • PRO
    9 years ago

    It's at holiday meals that I'm very grateful that both my daughter and I have VERY wide dining room tables; hers is 54" wide, mine is 56". Yes, it's very hard to find cloths that fit but we each have a lovely antique white Irish damask cloth.

    We carve the turkey at the table and each plate is passed to the head and served. Then the various side dishes, which are in covered silver serving dishes, are passed so each person can take how much and what they prefer. The gravy is in a silver gravy boat and is passed. My DR won't allow my dining table to be stretched beyond seating 8-10 people and with 10, it's crowded. With all the leaves in, I could seat 22 but I'd have to knock out a few walls and remove furniture to do so! My daughter has a dining room big enough that her table, with leaves, can seat 22 also (2 at each end), but we rarely have more than 6-8 for holiday meals.

    I know it's far easier to carve the turkey in the kitchen and serve from there, but I guess I grew up with that Saturday Evening Post Normal Rockwell painting of the big turkey on the Thanksgiving table and it just has to be. Fortunately, all the men in the family know how to carve a turkey. My late husband and my son went to a boarding school where every boy (it was all-boys then) had to learn how to properly carve a Thanksgiving turkey! Nice useful skill for all those tuition dollars, but it serves them well for the rest of their lives!

    I'm a dinosaur (you all already know this!) and I love a table set with white damask, fine china, gleaming silver and crystal, with silver serving dishes. When my eldest grandson was not yet 3, he came downstairs after his nap and saw the table all set for dinner. His eyes popped and he said, "This is beauuutiful!" I turned to my daughter and said, "This is why we go to all this bother. Even a very young child knows immediately that this is an 'occasion'".

  • 9 years ago

    Wow.....a 6 year old post suddenly ressurected!
    I wonder how many pages back Anne had to go to find this thread from 2010?

  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Nowhere. You just search and up they pop. I like seeing the old stuff. BTW, sit down with all the fancy. However turkey is carved in kitchen and arranged on the good platter.

  • 9 years ago

    This issue drives me crazy. We moved this year and now have Sunday dinner at son and DIL's a couple of times a month. She serves 'family style' at the table, but she's got a tiny kitchen, so I can understand it. But it takes forever to pass things around and I find it very clumsy. When they have dinner here. I have room in the kitchen to put food out and let people fill their plates there. I have always served that way, my mother always served that way or even plated in the kitchen. I find it less than appetizing to stare at bowls of food on the table.


    My DIL's brother and SIL host the familybig gatherings, like last Easter and this coming Thanksgiving. There were 17 people at Easter, and yes, all the food was on the table. And they have an enormous kitchen. In my mind, it was very clumsy and not at all elegant, which is what SIL would like to think she does. But the effect was anything but elegant. Why have nice china and crystal and linens and centerpieces and candles? And a bowl of mashed potatoes in the middle of it all?


    Sigh, I'll roll with the punches. In my house, we'll do it my way. In their homes, we do it their way. On Thursday, I get to have an extra glass of wine with very nice people!

  • 9 years ago

    You always pass from the left to the right. I can't seem to get that across to my family. Even if it is front of you don't pass to the left! We keep getting stuff going both ways and that is what clogs it up.

  • 9 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    We pass from the right to the left. Clockwise, not counterclockwise. The direction the sun goes.

    But as long as everyone agrees at the outset, that's what works.

  • 9 years ago

    In my family we do sit-down dinners with food passed at the table -- but we also use a conveniently located side buffet to hold the larger platters and bowls after the first pass, so they won't be in the way while eating. :)

  • 9 years ago

    sushipup, can't you just enjoy the company? I get it isn't up to your standards but who really cares. At least you have a family to go home to. My parents are long gone and I love those I have.


  • 9 years ago

    According to sushipup we are heathens. I wish any in our family could seat 30 plus

    We do sit down but after a buffet.

  • 9 years ago

    Anne, did you read all the way thru my post?

  • 9 years ago

    I'm not sure why you feel the need to go after sushipup for expressing her opinion, Anne. Why so bitter?

  • 9 years ago

    Perhaps sushipup has never sat at a table with a covered porcelain bowl full of mashed potatoes and another or dressing, a footed glass dish with cranberry sauce, a platter of turkey decorated with parsley sprigs, grandma's rosepoint relish dish with celery carrot sticks and gherkins and various other bowls with vegetables and porcelain souffle dish full of scalloped oysters.....and each with their own silver serving utensil, fork, ladle pierced spoon, serving spoon and an early Scottish sterling stuffing spoon. Trust me it's very elegant!

  • 9 years ago

    I apologize if I was offensive. I just took offense. Not everyone can do a sit down dinner if you have a big family. My "little" get together is at least 30 people. That is small. I am sorry to sushipup and anyone else I offended. I kinda flew off the handle.


  • 9 years ago

    I need to personally apologize to sushipup. I was hangry and as another poster pointed out not nice to you. I am sorry! As long as we all enjoy our Thanksgiving with people we love it is perfect.


  • 9 years ago

    Lindac, it was the top post when I saw it. I was wrong and I admit it. Are you willing to apologize as well?

  • 9 years ago

    No worries Sushipup. I understood what you meant. It is not about the company or family, just the method. Platters and casseroles can fill and clog a table over-stuffing it.

    Every family is different. Buffet style would not work with my family of 'grazers'. Dad would clog the line by staring, oohing and ahhing, nibbling and asking "what's that?" over and over trying to get focus through his trifocals. Then all would just take tiny bits of each and have to get up and go back for 2nds, thirds and fourths or more. A challenge to get them all sitting down. So DH carves at his end of the table and serves little slices as that's what they ask for, while i bring out the 2 gravy boats and the sides and two containers of cranberry for each end. Turkey goes into the kitchen for furthur carving while i serve.

    I sit at the other end of the table near the kitchen but the sideboard is just a spin behind me for a resting spot if needed. Also for a small platter of more turkey slices. No doubt needed in a few minutes. : )

    I set my table a day ahead with all my serving dishes. Vintage Eva Zeisel and CathrineHolm that i love and like seeing it all on the table. Minimal and modernist. I plan what goes in what. Never a loaded table and i just use a small bunch of my favorite flower, tulips. Three candlesticks...EvaZeisel.

    We always make about double the amount needed depending on 6, 8 , 12, even 24 guests. I can seat 12 easily but anything over is buffet style. (Dad goes last, lol). Over 12 is chaos so anything goes. Have not done that in years...one was 35.

    I just put out about a third/half of what was prepared and keep the rest in the warm oven. Usually plenty but can zip into the kitchen to re-stock if needed.

    I bake my dressing in two oven proof casseroles, one is small for the table and pretty! : ) The roasted root veg dish can often have over 12 varieties depending on what the market has. I cut each in slightly different shapes so i know what is what. Always the talk-of-the-table and curious and delicious. And always something new i find. A new variety. This year is a baby squash that is supposedly deep concentrated orange almost red. That dish has to be on the table. So i can answer "what's that?!".

    Traveling guests visiting just for the day get a take-out container so they have leftovers...





  • 9 years ago

    No problem here Anne. I knew it was a misunderstanding. Some/many/all... terribly miss lost family members or a spouse, during the holidays. So many reminders of past memories. Often miss-read what others seem to be complaining about but really not so. For some it is a holiday of much stress with critical siblings, etc. Internet postings are not often clear and don't see some details that would be clear face-to-face. (corrected immediately face-to-face)

    As in, "oh, you did not understand what i meant, so lets correct that".

  • 9 years ago

    Seder dinner is my analog to Thanksgiving (which is buffet at the Thanksgiving cousin's house because it's the only way that works, logistically, and the same was true in her mother's house before). It is traditionally served at a single table (many actual tables pushed together with overlapping cloths), no matter how many people are in attendance, but we've always served it at the table, as the previous generations did. Part of the attraction of my house was that one could extend the table through to the living room, from end to end, plus an L, but that's all the room there is. There's no way to do buffet, comfortably, even if I were of a mind to.

    There are 2-3 dozen people, usually, and I don't get squeamish about pulling out mismatched serving pieces when I run out of the pretty ones that go with the place settings. The first courses (soup and fish) are served and cleared, for logistical reasons. The main part of the meal is passed. I always send out at least two serving dishes of any single food. Bowls and platters start at each end, and find resting places somewhere in the middle. Even with everything else that's on the table (and there's a ton), there's usually room, even when the added tables are only 36" wide.

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