It is so very frustrating, isn't it? My kitchen took 9 months from demolition to completion (well, we still have a punch list of stuff, but no one has been here since before Thanksgiving, not pushing because completion of punch list means last payment). I was assured it would be done in the spring, and then certainly by July 4th, and then I realized I'd better cancel the party I had planned for my husband's birthday in August. When my mother said that I would be lucky to have it done in time for Thanksgiving, I laughed, but she was right. We had a major mistake midway that required a big redesign, and some brand new cabinets to wait endlessly for. Weeks where no one came, vacations that interfered with the job, a million little problems that added up to big delays. But you know what? I had a party on Sunday. Late Saturday night after I finished cleaning my kitchen to perfect, I sat staring at it, and I love it. All the bad times are just a funny story to tell. I was discussing the whole process with some women, and we decided renovations are like pregnancy. It feels absolutely endless while you are in the middle of it, and it is so unpleasant and painful at times. You swear you will never do it again, and you'll never get over how much harder it was than you thought. But then when it is done, you forget all the pain and agony, and just marvel at your creation. My advice? Vent like crazy here. Read stories about people's much worse experiences to make yourself feel better. Remain calm, and realize that just about any problem can be fixed, and human beings make mistakes. And as my mother likes to say "this too shall pass." And in the end, it will all work out, and you'll be thrilled with the end result. It really is worth the wait.

I have had and am now having major dental work. The dentist that I went to for years and really liked retired about 7 years ago. I was switched to another dentist who practiced in the same office. I have had some major work done by this dentist and almost every time I leave his office, I am black and blue and in severe pain. One time I ended up with over $800 in medical bills. The dentist gave me a hematoma which ended up getting infected, I had major swelling of my glands and a lot of pain. I went to a medical doctor and got penicillin and they referred me to a cardiologist who did an echocardiogram. I have a heart murmur and have to take antibiotics before having any work done on my teeth. Because of the severe infection, I was referred to a cardiologist to make sure no damage had been done. I am now having a bridge replaced and had a tooth pulled this week. I am having problems and the dentist looked at it again today and said I have a severe bruise on my gum and it is swollen but it should heal without further antibiotics. Last summer I had a crown done on a molar and ended up with two weeks of severe pain and had to exist on a pain reliever. My point in all of this is that I have always been afraid to go to a dental school and have students working on me since I have had so many problems with an experienced dentist working on me. If he can't do it without me ending up in severe pain and bruises, hematomas, and other problems, would a student do a better job?

Ima,my mother in law made the complaint to myspace today. It was infact her fault that BM was able to obtain the pictures, and now all family members profiles and pictures are private. Yes, I know that once they are "out there" there is nothing I can do, I'm sure she has them saved to her computer and will always have them. As for her having to believe the things she says, it's more of a way for her to prove to her family out of state that she is who "they" think she is. We (my husband and myself) did in fact get it easy where gaining custody was concerned. Dhr/Cps was involved because of some health issues reguarding one of my step sons, with many DHR visits to the home she left them living in and her home, I was granted temporary custody per her request (dad had been trying for 2 yrs before hand) because of his job.A year later my husband and myself were granted full custody with no support and only supervised visitation from her on the first and third sunday of each month (she has never once followed through with a visit). It has since been ammended to no visitation and we have a protective order on her and her husband. My step kids were beaten, threatened with weapons and not fed for over a week the last time they were with their mother over 4 years ago. Not only do we have the protective order but our local ymca, ballpark and their school also have them. She has shown up numerous times and still continues to do so, to all of the above screaming they were kidnapped and are being held hostage. She has even tried to "kidnap" my youngest step son and my own son from walmart and they were in the buggy I was pushing. So in that aspect no we arent lucky as you tell me to consider myself. I know of the emotional damage a BM can do to a child, I see it daily times 3. As I said, I have a 9 yr old who thinks he should be a girl and a 7 yr old who vomits at will to not have to eat. AND FOR THE RECORD... I never in my post accused her of being a bad parent for giving up custody, I simply chose to post a FEW of the bad choices she has made over the years, but I will say now; I think she is a bad parent (not for giving up custody) for how she has emotionally and physically abused her children and allowed others to do the same. I think she is a bad parent because she still allows her husband to abuse her and their child together, instead of seaking help(and before you say I dont understand what an abusive relationship is like, I was in one for 7 years before I met my husband all of my teenage years and into my early 20's, eventually everyone knows enough is enough). Now, you asked why I wanted to contact a lawyer. No, not necessarily to sue her, she has nothing to sue for and she wouldnt show up in court anyways. To have it documented, yes. She shows up and causes enough trouble without aid of pictures at their school, ymca and sports activities ect. It does scare me to think she has updated pictures that she can wave around and them possibly have the chance of seeing. They know she wasnt there and Im unsure of what that could do to their stability, their mental capacities(they have alot to work through as it is) and their all around behavorial issues, even if it's only for that day or week. Do I think she will use them in that manner, yes. So again, no I dont want to sue her. I dont want to waste money we dont have to waste, energy I am completly drained of already or time that I never seem to have either. As for her myspace page, today was the first I knew of her having one and no I dont care to go back to it. All of my focus does now and has for almost 7 years gone into MY KIDS, I do love them and they know it and with their father's job I am 99.999% the only PARENT they have. I do also try and ignore her, I have only one other time fed into her pity party and that was her email, she isnt worth it. But yes, this makes me angry and I feel I have the right to be, as you stated you were doing the job of "your" BM, so am I. I have a myspace page, I dont post pictures (for this reason) of any of my kids, yet here she is posting them, ones she didnt take, from a holiday she was absent from and claiming MY son as her own child also, when she didnt want to be a parent to her own kids. No matter her reason behind it, I cant seem to want to let it lie. And your right, its not going to change or fix thing nor will it make them better, but I cant help how I feel. Maybe this is all too fresh having all happened today, and Im sorry if this post seems rude, but I didnt expect to be reprimanded or attacked for my earlier post and thats kind of how it felt.

Thanks everybody! So, pretty much we just have to grin and bear it, while sticking to the "no, you don't need that" and hope it gets better. Oh, thinking more about this last night before I fell asleep - we may be having a little success. I was thinking about how he used to be at the grocery store: He used to ask for everything, including things knows he doesn't like, and then get MAD MAD MAD when he didn't get it (apparently, not having chutney bought for you when you won't eat Indian food is worth sobbing and hiding behind the eggs)... But now he still asks for lots of things, but they're mostly things he actually likes, and he doesn't get mad when he gets told no. FD - I totally agree that a 9yo doesn't need $200 for his birthday. GM gave him ~$60, so did Papa and SGM, and then some of his friends gave him cash instead of toys/books/games/etc. IMO, that money should have been collected by an adult and at least half been put into savings, with the remaining portion to spend under adult supervision. And just to clarify, our plans for this aren't ever explained to A__, they're just things we've tried that don't really seem to be working... But I see your point that we may be overthinking this. IIKD - "The kid couldn't even go get gas with DH without coming home with *at least* a pack of gum" This sounds all too familiar! He's just not allowed out of the car at the gas station anymore because taking him into the store starts the barrage of "Can I have..." Mom2 - ""if my mom was here I would be able to get it"" I hear ya! I sometimes play the "I don't have enough money for that" (whether it is true or not) and he says "Why don't you get my dad to pay you back?" Psuedo - "I won't invite you out to lunch again." I got fed up awhile back when we were out doing something extra cool together (a children's play) and the "I want" parade began. I calmly said "Look, A__, I don't have to take you places and do cool stuff with you, I do it because I want to. We go to plays and museums and so on because I like for us to have some extra fun together. But when you do that, it's not fun for me anymore and makes me not want to make special plans for us. So let's just enjoy the play. Kapeesh?" Maybe there was some better way to react, I don't know... But that's what I did. TOS - "I think this (and the fact that he is nine) is 99.9% of the explanation." Any suggestions on coping mechanisms to try to teach him? His decision-making and anger-management have come a loooooong way in the past 6 months, but I don't know what do to about this one.