I survived, but not unscathed. Some didn't. The saddest funeral I ever attended was for a little boy I babysat; his mother didn't secure him in a car seat. He was thrown from her car and killed when a drunk driver hit them. When we had children I knew that I could not protect them against every bad thing, but I could take reasonable precautions. My mother didn't want to be inconvenienced by having to use car seats for my children, so I solved that problem by not letting them ride with her. Once I was 10, my parents rarely knew where I was during the summer or on weekends, since they played golf frequently. Sometimes Mom would forget to leave the spare key in its hiding place and I'd be locked out. If I had money I could ride my bike 3 miles to the DairyQueen to buy a Coke, but if not I'd get a drink from a neighbor's garden hose. There were worse consequences of their inattention, but I won't go into that here. None of us worried about sunblock, although we did use baby oil to keep from drying out while we baked. Everyone in my family has (or had) skin cancer, as do many of my friends. The ones who continued baking as adults now have skin that looks like tanned leather, dotted with light spots from the removal of melanomas. There was a lot of underage drinking, as well as a lot of partying by some of the parents, but I was too afraid of mom's beatings if she caught me drinking so that was postponed until college. Back then, the legal age was 18 in many places. There was also a lot of pot, in the schools as well as at the beach. Some people experimented with hard drugs; a few had very bad results. One dear friend, who was in my honors classes in high school, was artistically and musically talented while his siblings were focused on science and math; that didn't go over well at home. He self-medicated the emotional pain, then spent the next several decades in various psych hospitals. My mom nagged me about befriending a certain crowd at the country club, not knowing that the most "popular" kids were also the biggest dealers at the beach. In college (a good Jesuit school), the drug of choice for most students was quaaludes and I'd guess that at least half the students indulged in both pills and pot. Keggers in the Quad were common Friday afternoon events, with various student organizations hosting a party almost every week. Despite the lack of restrictions on drinking, there were other strictly enforced rules, and several girls from my dorm were sent packing for having guys spend the night. The guys' dorm was much looser, and RAs looked the other way when girls were there after visiting hours. I never saw a pregnant student on campus, but I did know/know of several girls who suddenly transferred to the state school back home. This was before folks knew about HIV, so physical barrier precautions were scorned and the Pill was popular. My last roommate graduated a semester early, filled with deep hatred toward all men and a nasty case of genital herpes (which freaked me out, naive as I still was.) It seems like people were less informed about drug interactions or concerns about mixing certain Rx drugs with alcohol. A friend died because she didn't realize that she should not mix alcohol and her Rx. The authorities guessed that the combination made it difficult for her to recall if she'd taken her proper dose and she accidentally over medicated. I know that some warning labels seems like too much CYA litigation prevention, but I wish the health care industry had shared more information with patients sooner. My husband grew up in the midwest, and his experiences or recollections are worse/scarier than mine. His family lived in an affluent bedroom community of a large city, and all of the kids attended various private schools. He had a devoted and loving mother but she was so busy with a very large number of children that she couldn't have supervised all of them adequately even if she thought it necessary. It just wasn't common for parents to be so involved in the '60s - '70s, for better or for worse. The kids did enjoy a lot more freedom and seemed to become independent sooner, but there was a downside as well. Underage drinking was one problem, but drugs were much worse. When I look at my children's generation, I wonder how many of their medical and behavioral issues are related to their parents' drug use. When I got to college, I was stunned to learn about the extent of drug experimentation (cocaine & LSD, among other things.) So I am one of the lucky ones, just because I'm still alive. But I have scars, both emotional and physical, that will never completely fade. I tried to find a balance between being too lax and hovering with my own children, but what I thought was being prudent was seen as overly protective by my parents and in-laws. Yet my kids still climbed trees, rode zip lines, shot pellet guns, went white water rafting & kayaking, flew in ultralights, tried snow skiing & snowboarding, etc., and I have plenty of grey hairs to attest to their exploits. ;-)

Do you have a total budget for car seat plus stroller? I'm a CPST (child passenger safety technician) aka car seat specialist. I help families choose, install, and use their car seats correctly and I also happen to be a mama to 3 littles (7yo, 4yo, 13mo) and I'm a bit of a baby gear nut. My biggest tip is to skip the pre-bundled travel systems. Pick your car seat and stroller separately. Not all, but most of the pre-bundled travel systems come with lower quality strollers, and sometimes lower quality car seats. Most nicer strollers can be made compatible with the nicer car seats. The Chicco KeyFit is my long time favorite infant car seat. It is compact (fits well in most cars), easy to install (so long as you fully read the instruction manual and your vehicle owner manual's section on car seats), simple to use, and fits even tiny newborns very well (surprisingly not all infant seats do). There a lots of other great options at a variety of price points though so I'd be happy to suggest others as well. As far as strollers, I'm a Baby Jogger lover. I love my Baby Jogger Versa (discontinued but a few left out there on the internet). The Versa was recently replaced by the Baby Jogger City Premier and is very similar. I love that you can flip the seat of it to parent-face or face out. The seat is huge (even my 7yo can hop in for a ride if he wants) and it has suspension for all 4 wheels. If you don't care about the ability to parent-face, the Baby Jogger City Mini GT is excellent. Super easy, 1 hand, 1 step fold. I can hold a baby in one arm, and fold the stroller and lift into my trunk with my other hand. Many people are not aware, but there is a big push in the medical community as well as in the child passenger safety community to encourage parents to really limit the amount of time babies are spending in car seats OUTSIDE of the car. For this reason, I encourage families to skip the travel system set up. As an alternative, wearing baby in an ergonomical, anatomically supportive carrier (ErgoBaby, Lillebaby, Beco, Boba, Tula), ring sling, or wrap is a great option or getting a stroller with a lay-flat recline (or added basinet option) to put baby directly in the stroller. For quick errands in and out of stores with a sleeping baby, leaving them in their car seat is usually fine on the limited occasion, but if baby is awake or it will be for extended times, taking them out of the seat is recommended. If you arrive home and baby has fallen asleep, it is recommended to remove them from the seat and attempt to transfer to a crib or wear them in an upright carrier. The semi-reclined position car seats put babies in is needed for vehicle transport, but is not optimal from a health and development perspective. This is a good link on the subject: http://blog.onyababy.com/2012/06/benefits-of-babywearing-vs-carseat-carrying/

I'm not sure what you mean by a soft carrying handle. Something that is cushioned, maybe rubberized but still hard plastic? I know the infant seat we used is the Graco Snugride, very popular and well worth it. You can buy an additional base to be used in another car as well. We have the stroller too (they can be purchased together or separately) and I love it - the Quattro Tour - it's so nice for long walks, mall trips, etc. The carseat just snaps right in to the top of the stroller and your'e set! Congrats on your prospective adoption and I hope all goes well for you!

But that one's just really a booster seat after 40 lbs. -- you can even tell by the name description. You can only wear the 5 point harness up to 40 lbs.-- since it's convertible it just becomes a booster seat then. I'm looking for one where the harness can be worn over 40 lbs. My doctor swears they exist... I am beginning to think he's crazy. All I'm finding are those convertible booster types like you noted. I'm not sure what people are supposed to do with heavy 3 yr olds in the states when they aren't allowed in boosters legally until they're 4. I can legally put my kid in a booster, but I would prefer the 5 point harness thing if they exist... Thanks anyway.