Teacher told daughter she hated X-mas
velma
22 years ago
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LYNN3521_aol_com
22 years agoamygdala
22 years agoRelated Discussions
Teacher problem advice
Comments (19)My child was an excessive talker and fidget-er. It was not until 4th grade when his teacher somehow helped him chanel this energy constructively. This year -5th- his teacher allows him to move and fiddle and raves about his effort and success being quiet. He answers and participates freely. All of his teachers have encouraged him to be himself, but have also worked with him to focus on control. That being said... I am an elementary librarian for grades Pre-K through 6th. I am astonished and very aware of the fact that the majority of children today cannot be quiet. I am not talking about regular childhood chit chat, but literal diarrhea of the mouth...noises, comments, and continued side conversations after you have expressly said no talking. The major part of my lessons are spent asking students to stop talking so I can teach. It is a common complaint among teachers and one most people cannot even imagine because they aren't there to observe it. I have one or two students in every class that constantly and consistently just keep going no matter what I try, do or say. Are they bad students? No, but they do set the tone for the entire class and when they are absent it is heaven. Do I single them out? No, but they can be exasperating and even the other students often get irritated,mainly because the talking is NOT usually related to the material at hand. Honestly at the end of the day, I feel horrible because I had to get on so and so's case again! I'm sure there are a few kids who think I don't like them but I do,I just wish THEY would get with the program. I would hope any teacher would not squash out a child's thought process or creative intellect and is only trying to give the child skills they will use throughout their life both personally and professionally. Excessive talking in the classroom is much like the neighbor,co-worker,or family member that just doesn't shut up and you dread being left with them for any amount of time. It can be very disruptive and frustrating in the educational setting especially when expectations and consequences are clearly defined and it affects 20 other students class time. I would hesitate to jump to the conclusion that she is being stymied from having opinions and self-worth. I'd like to think the teacher is helping her set and understand social boundaries and norms. But in regards to the OP's situation, her daughter, like my son, has learned and mastered the expected classroom behavior and can now participate and add constructively to the class being taught. Children make amazing leaps and bounds throughout the school year and all progress, socially and educationally, should be celebrated. =D The issue seems to be on how to establish or re-establish a working connection with the teacher for the rest of the year. I would request a conference with the teacher one more time. Perhaps explain that you are concerned because when you read her e-mails they seem to come across as hostile and sarcastic. Nicely add this is a matter that you didn't want to bother the principal with because e-mails are hard to read because they can be interpreted so very differently than the writer intended. Is there a problem that needs to be cleared up? It gives the teacher a chance to explain or puts her on notice that her attitude has not gone unnoticed, and she has a chance to rectify and change the situation. A very wise woman told me as my first child entered school that my child would not like every teacher, and every teacher would not like my child, such is life. =) So true and so liberating to both you and your child, and isn't it the truth? It helps us teach our children that everything is temporary and they may need to persevere through some trials for a time that they cannot change. This same thought is also applicable to the wonderful high points of life, they don't last forever either! HTH!...See Moredaughter and friend love/hate relationship
Comments (9)I've been there! My daughter and her friend (Lisa) have been friends since the age of 5. They are both 16 now! We're also neighbours. The girls were together every single day. Then at the age of 10, they went their own way till the age of 14. They just had different things in common. Now, they're the best of friends again! I remember one incident that is so very similar to the one you described above. I had had enough too! Lisa's mom called me to tell me what happened between the girls. My daughter told me what happened. Some things just didn't add up. Since I had had enough, I decided to nip this in the butt. My daughter and I went over to Lisa's house so that we could all discuss this together. Lisa's mom was so happy about this. Anyways, Lisa was caught in a lie and was punished. My daughter also saw that their friendship was worth more than gossip. That if they had a problem with each other, they were friends long enough that they should ask each other if the gossip was true. Everything worked out well and because we were all together, everything was confronted once and for all. Re your daughter leaving when Susie comes over. I'm not sure about this one though, because yr daughter cannot always run away from conflict. She needs to deal with it head on. You see what happened with my daughter was that "Jessica" was causing conflict between my daughter and Lisa because she was jealous of their friendship. Whenever Jessica and Lisa were together, my daughter would exclude herself and thus, was alone. She'd see Lisa on the street and was about to go say hello, but decided not to when she seen Jessica with her. I told her to go talk to Lisa and that if Jessica had a problem with her there, then Jessica could leave. It took my daughter awhile to work up the nerve to do it, but eventually she did and it gave her more confidence in herself to handle things. I've also had to deal with a mother who thinks her kids can do no wrong. I did the same thing as above. We drove to that kid's house and confronted him with the parents there. The boy denied everything, but his sister said that my daughter was right about how it happened. He was bullying her. His parents asked him how he could do that to my daughter since he had the same thing done to him and if he remembered how it felt. The issued got resolved! I strongly believe that confrontation with all parties involved is the best way to get resolved fast. This way, all the parents hear what each child is saying, which is lying, etc. Maybe it will open some eyes too! When my daughter had some "ownership" in some of the conflicts, I explained how her actions contributed to the conflict. Sometimes kids don't realize or see what the consequences of their actions can do, especially at the age of 8....See MoreTeacher not following custody schedule outline.
Comments (63)BY your own words, the requirement that only one parent has the right to sign permission forms is not in the custody order. What you are attempting to have enforced is your interpretation of what the custody order should say. If it doesnt say that specifically, then legally, the school can accept a permission form signed by either parent, since you have joint legal custody. This, of course, is why you seem like the angry controlling person who feels her toes are stepped on. Its not a big deal when I read about it, and I doubt that it is a big deal to the school. THe only way it becomes a problem for them is when you, the stepmom, call up complaining about something that is perfectly legal for them to do. If I were the teacher, I would think you are a whining troublemaker, particularly since the real mom is a volunteer at the school and very involved in the childs life. In short, what I am trying to say is that I think your attitude makes the animosity between your husband and his ex worse, not better. I think you egg it on to an extent. ANd, for the sake of a six year old girl, and for the sake of your own marriage, you are going to need to get a grip on it. Being a step mom is like raising teens. DOnt sweat the small stuff. This definitely is in the small stuff category. WImom and cawfee, dont you just WISH your stepchildrens real moms were half as involved as this real mom is? There isnt anything to complain about here. Both parents are trying to stay active in the childs life. Stepmom in this case shouldnt be stirring up angry sentiments. Oh, I just came back from teacher interviews this evening with my birth sons teachers. I was there, AND his stepfather was there. His real father did a phone interview earlier today. My sons real father has no problem with my husband going to school interviews, since my son lives with us full time, and visits with his real dad. BUT if my ex had a problem, I would have gone myself and discussed what the teacher said at home later with my husband. Also, for what its worth, my husband always checks that its not an issue before he gets involved, as I check before I get involved in areas such as schooling with his children. Its not easy, but someone has to take the high road. If you dont react to little things, if you put the kid first instead of your pride, you find that it becomes much easier in time, and the children do much better. I cant imagine the six year old in this situation, confused about who gets a form and why anyone would be angry about it. Its ALWAYS easier to be angry and blame the other person, than to be placid and accomodating with people you dont like. IN the long run, its worth it ....See MoreA 2nd Chance at X-Mas Decorating!
Comments (16)I personally would be happy with very little or no Christmas decor - I have tubs and tubs in the basement too. I've pared down but, every year I put out the outdoor lights, setup the tree and take everything out of the built in bookshelf so the Christmas village has a home. I do this for my son because he gets so much pleasure out of it and I know at 11 years old, he'll only be interested in all of this for a few more years. Your six year old's stocking hanging is precious. Enjoy letting them decorate the house - they get so much pleasure out of Christmas at this age - it doesn't have to be overboard, but can still look festive. For the last few years, my son has "decorated" the tree. We have a prelit artificial tree, so all I have to do is set it up and plug it in. I used to get so stressed about where every ornament was and whether the little ones were on top etc. One year he told me - I'll do it Mom, you don't have to worry! I think we was about 9 at the time. So in total frustration with the whole holiday gig I said - sure have at it. Of course only the bottom half of the tree had ornaments, and I controlled myself to the point of only rearranging a few so they were a little more balanced. It was still very pretty, and I wasn't exhausted and stressed at the end, so now he decorates the tree and I do the Christmas Village. Somehow DH gets out of all this Christmas decor setup...hmmm!...See Moresomewhere_somewhere_com
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