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sketcher25

How to Get Help...from Spouse

Sketcher25
10 years ago

I have found this place as a result of having sons growing more distant...but, today, I realized my husband is going to continue on a path of emotional destruction in our 40 yr marriage...and I need help to get away...being constantly told that I could be more involved with my grown sons if just wanting to has been a mainstay in our life....my life was always about my family....but his has always been about working long hours even when our children were toddlers...now to humiliate me by comparing me with a DIL's mother...to suggest that she is more involved because she desires it more than I do has been what finally makes me ask this question here....as a woman who took care of her family becoming unable to work 10 yrs ago due to a painful hip and leg..I get very little money...have never had control of finances....the verbal abuse is bad...and I believe my husband has a mental deficit of some kind getting worse....

How do you at 57 get help to be independent? I am fearful of his lack of verbal control and lack of empathy that has only gotten worse as my condition has....he laughs at my suggestions to get help for himself...and has stolen money from me to put in 401k acct with only his name...telling me that I am the beneficiary...company will give me no info at all....why should I trust someone who talks to me this way....

I have nothing and cannot even rent an apt as I would need an income 3 times the rent....I have found evidence of him creating a dating site acct. But swears he did not....I would be too embarrassed to even tell this to my sons...he is from a family who has had numerous crime charges...it seems like the resistentece at authority or rules to live by is challenging for him....almost a compulsion to go against the tide...

I want to get away.....just had ankle surg and cannot do any activity for at least 3 to 4 weeks....

What resources do women like me have...he refuses to leave the house or help me to leave...he is only here because he does not want to give me anything outside of this house....

I called the spousal abuse hotline last year..but they were no help...it is mental...emotional and financial....what can I do?

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