I can't answer your question about washing the sheets but just wanted to mention that we love Costco's Kirkland 100% Cotton Sateen sheets. They are very smooth and fine but not shiny or slippery; have a heavy enough hand to feel substantial; are durable and high quality; and come out of the dryer nearly wrinkle-free if you remove them promptly. Costco's return policy allows you to return things after you've used them if you don't like them, so you wouldn't be out any money if they're not to your liking. I bet they'd meet both of your requirements.

I have sateen sheets from Macy's and they just don't have a nice hand like a percale sheet does. I actually have four sets and hate them all except for the sea glass ones that seem much less satiny to me. I want to replace them but I read reviews on Wamsutta supercale and many said the quality of the stitching wasn't good.

I think that the feel of your sheets is definitely personal preference. I like a much more crisp hand than sateen gives. If your DH doesn't care about the feel get the one you prefer.

I had a set of sateen sheets and made the mistake of washing them in hot water. They got rough, lost their sheen, and they ended up in a pile of Goodwill items after using them only twice. Read the washing directions and *do* take heed. I read them but didn't take them seriously.

Thank you all! I think the Sferra sheets are going to have to go back. That might be a mistake (they're definitely nicer than any of our other sheets) but they do say to wash on cold, and because of allergies we wash our sheets on hot at least some of the time. And my husband occasionally uses bleach on them too (not my favorite but I understand his reasons), so white sheets that can handle abuse are best for us. If the Sferra ones are as delicate as yours, patty_cakes, they won't work too well for us.

I'm not sure the Wamsutta pinpoints are going to be sheet nirvana either. I washed them on hot (against directions but they were a little bit baggy) and they came through just fine, but they're a bit beyond crisp -- they're almost crunchy. haha. My husband says they're OK with him. I am reserving judgment till I sleep on them.

Lazydaisynot, thank you for the recommendation! I'll keep those on my list to check out if I keep looking. Holly-kay, thank you for weighing in; seems as though there are a lot of people who don't like sateen. I wonder if the Kirkland ones are a different type of cotton, if they feel better -- or maybe it all just boils down to personal preference as you say.

I absolutely cannot stand them and they will tear easily, especially if a man is involved in restless sleep and pushes a foot through them,

I went on the perfect sheet hunt a few years ago, after a new mattress purchase. I like a slightly crisper sheet, especially for my pillowcases. My favorite are the Thomas Lee 500 TC percale sheets. If you don't like a crisp sheet, check out the reviews for Macy's Hotel Collection 600 TC sheets (100% Egyptian Cotton) or Bloomingdale's Hudson Park 600 TC sheet. They are the same sheets, just different names for each store. They are considered a sateen sheet but are smooth, not slippery. I really like them. Expensive, so I buy them on Ebay.

I just remembered~I had another set that 'balled up', also sateen, after laundering. Those were a dark color so didn't wash in hot water, and were used in a guest room. Being they were used in a guest room, it was for short periods of time 2-3 times a year. I love the ones I got from Ikea and the set from Target! No roughness or balls after laundering. Nor expensive. Spending more doesn't always get you more. ;)

Goodness, patricia43, that's a shame if your sheets tore so easily! You'd think expensive sheets would be more sturdy. I suppose the weave they use is very fine, or something like that. I'd be ticked off too. romy718, I checked out the Hotel sheets when I was at Macy's last night picking up a mattress pad. They do feel very nice! I had no idea Macy's had sheets that cost that much -- $200 per sheet, for the pattern they had on display. Because I am a horrible person and the bedding dept was right next to china, of course what I thought was "well, they have to have something for people to put on their wedding registries." (Years ago when I was registering for my own wedding I remember seeing a sign, foolishly left where customers could see it, reminding the registry people to steer couples over to fine china if they showed signs of wanting only the less expensive everyday dishes.) I'll keep the Hotel sheets in mind, especially the less stratospheric line that you have, and thanks for the Ebay tip. patty_cakes, thanks for the other warning! I did return the sateen Sferras. Unfortunately the Wamsutta pinpoints didn't work either. My husband said he liked them just fine and now thinks I am crazy, but to me they felt too rough (worse on my face than just feeling them in hand) so they also went back. Luckily the store was absolutely great about taking back washed sheets.

The good news is that our set of Target organic sheets fits on the new mattress (barely), so we do have something to sleep on while the hunt continues. :) Now those are some very soft and comfy sheets... though our set is frayed in one corner so I do need to get some new ones.

Thanks everyone for your help!