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Those Annoying Chistmas Brag Letters!!! ugh..

bulldinkie
19 years ago

Does anybody get those annoying Christmas letters EVERY YEAR EVERY DETAIL of the families history???I Do they make me sick my hubbys brother did it and now his 4 kids are grown and now they do it. I dont even read them anymore I just trash them. They tell you everything but when they use the bathroom and believe me thats probably next.

Comments (96)

  • Michelle_MO
    19 years ago

    Kerry, I think your letter sounds nice and not braggy. I personally voted on the "don't hate all letters, but don't like braggy ones" side of this argument, and I would consider yours a tasteful, loving way to share news of your family's year.

    If you had gone on about how your new house was XXX square feet, and Hans is now making $$XX more at his new job, and Aliceon is 2.5 months ahead on every milestone - THAT's what I would consider a braggy letter with an irritating tone.

  • KerryClem
    19 years ago

    :o) Thanks Michelle!

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  • bugs_niagara_com
    19 years ago

    Sounds good to me too.

  • tenyr68_hotmail_com
    19 years ago

    Kerry,

    The only problem I have with it is the mix of 1st-person singular and 3rd-person narration. It makes me wonder who is the "author". Assuming you and Hans worked on it together, I think consistently using the 1st person plural, i.e. "we" instead of "I", would eliminate any possibility of some creepy, unnamed third parent writing the letter!

    Alternatively, you could stick with the "I"s, but eliminate any 3rd person references to yourself. Of course, then you'd probably need to sign it with just your name.

    ***********

    As for the support-group...

    This year I had the guts to send my best friend from high school a birthday card that I had begun to fill out for her twentieth birthday. I had begun the note (with some reference to just one more year until 21...) at my future husband's parents' house, was interupted, only to return to find that the card had disappeared. (MIL is still notorious for that). Anyway, I think I found it a couple years later. It would turn up every now and then...I put it in my "to do" file. So, when her birthday came up this year I took it out and started where it left off originally, explained the saga, and wished her a happy 20th, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 25th, and of course 26th birthday!

    Then there's the heartfelt thank you note I wrote to a couple for all of the work that they put into our wedding shower. Five years later they're divorcing...I guess that one'll never make it out now!

    Oh well, I think they still love me!

  • KerryClem
    19 years ago

    the reason for the mixed POV on the letter is we fashion it each year to be from all of us... I write the parts about Hans and Aliceon and Sam, Hans writes parts about me, Aliceon and Sam. That way it is from all of us, not just one of us.....

  • freckles2
    19 years ago

    I would much rather get the braggy letters than the one we get from my husband's aunt every year that is the most depressing letter you could ever read. I think she has been "dieing" from some ailment for the last 20 years!

    Every year I get several cards from family friends who are elderly and they comment how much they love my computer generated newsletter.

  • bensmom
    19 years ago

    RE: the support group. Whenever I write and address the Christmas Cards, but never get them to the post office, I just save them for the next year. Then I mail them right after Thanksgiving. Everyone always thinks I'm so organized, until I tell them they're last year's cards. :)

  • euphorbia
    19 years ago

    It just really depends on the letter.

    Some are really corny and trite, others are genuine and appealing. I like best the ones that make me laugh.

  • SalsaSue23_aol_com
    19 years ago

    Wow, I didn't realize that Christmas cards/letters could cause such a debate.
    I follow a 3 year plan...the first year, I sent out a letter. It was brief and cute. The second year, I made little magnets, printed out a Christmas blessing and glued it to a magnet. The third year, I sent out a family picture.
    Then I start over.
    This year was the the picture year, so next year will be the letter.
    After reading this thread though, I am going to have to re-think my approach.
    Maybe a little poem...
    I do have one relative who picks one night, usually a few days before the holidays and calls everyone!! She literally makes about 25 calls!! She keeps it brief, but its so nice to hear from her!!
    Then I have some relatives who never send out any type of holiday greeting. I guess its just not something they like to do, or just choose not to bother.
    Its just another example of how everybody is different-not right or wrong-just different.
    On another note...
    How does everone feel about family web pages?? I made one for my family and I really tried not to be too "braggy".
    I saw a few that were way over the top!!
    PEACE!!
    Susie-Que

  • ferrifamily_yahoo_com
    19 years ago

    Wow...I'm feeling really self-consious about my Christmas cards now. I never realized that so many people spend so much time criticizing what's in their Christmas cards. How about just appreciating that someone sent you a card to let you know they are thinking of you this holiday season. It's more than some people have.

  • whazzup
    19 years ago

    RE: Family websites, I think they're neat! The thing about a family website is you don't have to visit if you don't want to. Websites are a neat way for relatives who are interested to check up on what's going on. I think the family website is a very different thing than the christmas newsletter. The problem with the christmas newsletter (as I see it) is that they are too often sent to casual aquaintances. But then, there are some people who get nothing - no cards, letters or gifts during the holiday season.

  • slweber_gate_net
    19 years ago

    I think the saddest cards to get are the ones that have the names printed inside without a single handwritten ink mark on them anywhere. That is a business thing, family cards should not be done like that. It's a waste of a stamp, IMO.

    I agree that some letters get out of hand. I get two from reltives every year that are, I'm not kidding, 4 typed pages. One is too much bragging, one is too much complaining ("another year of troubles/ sick all the time/ don't like Suzie's teacher, that one I really don't get). That is a nusense. But I really believe written communication is hard for many people. They either don't even try, overwhelmed by just the thought, or they don't know how to be brief and still express their message. For some people, it takes them all day to sit and write a few lines. Others can write pages in a few minutes but it takes them all day to edit the irrelevant, so they leave it all in.

    To me, the ideal is a little of both. A short note, half a page typed, with a few lines about what everyone is doing. Ages, changes, interests, funny things they did this year. The "scoop" that everyone on this list should be told, but you can't write it over and over and over. Plus, a couple handwritten lines to each person that are important to just that person, everyone else doesn't need to know about it. This is what I do, even if it ends up going out late. I do the typed on the computer and insert a picture of the kids on the page. If it doesn't fit on a half sheet, front only, I edit.

    I'm told every year that people like my cards, look forward to them, etc. I do not expect everyone to do as I do. Written communication is important to me, it's my thing. I don't bake cookies, I don't make handmade ornaments, I don't sew tree skirts. I write good cards, that's all I can do.

  • spunky_iwon_com
    19 years ago

    I enjoy getting Christmas letters for the most part, especially from people who do not live near us. I do send a typed page out every few years, if I have time to work on it, or if we have some news or something major has changed in our lives, and usually include a recent pic of the kids to each relative and to friends who would be interested in seeing how they are growing. honestly, I don't see the point of sending a card that is nothing but a signed name, especially from local people, although i send those out too to people who i know have absolutely no use for a pic of our kids, like, my husband's boss or someone who we are sending cards to only because they send one to us. It drives me bonkers that my MIL sends cards to each of our kids and expects them to send them back...we see her at least once a week and she lives just down the road. But if it makes her happy, we will continue to partake of the cards. Honestly, I don't think it's worth my brain energy to be frustrated over soemthing like that.

  • tina_frankmillard_com
    19 years ago

    We also send out these letters to family and friends..It's a wonderful way to keep in touch with everyone that you don't see on a regular basis. I keep it short and sweet..just noting what went on during the year and we enclose pics of the kids.

    I used to write a short note inside each card and it became too time consuming and I find the letter to be so much easier.

    Everyone I send them to loves to hear about what's going on and thinks it's a wonderful idea!

    Tina, mom to Brady & Dylan (8), Cameron & Kylee (2)

  • KerryClem
    19 years ago

    Tina -
    Am I correct in assuming you have two sets of twins? Wow! My hat's off to you for sending out anything at Christmas with as busy as you must be!
    Happy holidays !

  • spunky_iwon_com
    19 years ago

    Just to change the thread a little, what do you guys think of these:

    1. Email xmas cards. I get one from an aunt every year. It's fine with me...what the heck, no line at the PO and it sure as heck is cheaper.

    2. Funniest card I've seen this year: My SIL showed it to me last night. It was from her husband's elderly aunt and uncle....they are like 70 or so. It was a photo insert card showing the two of them with big smiles on sitting in a hottub. The man was holding something up in his hand. You didn't notice it at first but if you look closely at the card you will realize that the woman's shoulders have no bathing suit straps and what the man is holding up is her suit! We were all shocked but laughing hysterically. SIL had to call them (who she only sees at showers and weddings) to tell them it was the funniest card she'd seen in years. I kept weighing...funny...no, gross....no, funny in my mind...have decided it's funny. Is it?

  • spunky_iwon_com
    19 years ago

    Here is another idea for xmas cards:

    A mom I know online collects the drawings her kids make through out the year, they scan and print them with a printed message and then send those out as cards. It's cute and not too much work for her...all she has to do is fold them and address the envelopes.

  • timberlysmom
    19 years ago

    Spunky...it's probably funny in a gross kind of way...although, I'm sure if I were a 70 year old woman, It would probably be hilarious and spark some ideas...(Thank God I'm not 70 yet! Lol)

  • KerryClem
    19 years ago

    Spunky - How neat is that last idea! I'll have to do that when dd gets a little older!

  • LYNN3521_aol_com
    19 years ago

    Don't like brag letter at all. Love a letter that just tell general things that happened during the year(can have a few accomplishments on it too).. But those that just go on and on about their children or their own accomplishments I find annoying and distasteful!
    ~Lynn~

  • revoltingchristmasletters_gmail_com
    12 years ago

    Actually, my friend just started a humorous blog devoted to those annoying christmas brag letters. She did it so that she can find a reason to laugh at these letters instead of crying. It's at:

    revoltingxmasletters.blogspot.com. You can send in your own submissions (keeping the senders' names anonymous) by e-mailing revoltingchristmasletters@gmail.com

  • cheli
    12 years ago

    Gosh so much controversy over the mass Christmas letters, I confess, I send them! I spent two hours sealing, addressing, stamping the pile and there is just NO WAY I have the time to write a personal LETTER to each! I do always write something in the card itself when I sign it tho cuz I feel there should be some personal touch, like with friends in AZ i put in "when are you and tom going to come out and visit!? Sure miss you guys!" Then i tuck in our "newsletter" which usually consists of a page and then a page of pictures from the year all put together in a collage style on a regular sheet of paper. I guess some might consider it a brag letter because our letter is upbeat, fun, and shares whatever fun things we did in the year, a paragraph about how business is going and a paragraph about what the kids & my dad are doing and then on the silly side we do a pet inventory cuz everyone always asks "how many do you have & what do you have now?!" lol This year's additions have been birds & everyone will get a chuckle out of that :) Of course strangers wouldn't find it very entertaining, but our friends and family who know and love us do and they all seem to appreciate it and two years ago when I didn't send out the letters-many called very disappointed & and to make sure I was okay. lol Our friends/family know how busy we are with trying to build a successful business that provides service 24/7 and appreciate that I take the time to do what I do. I don't think I am annoying anyone, at least I hope not but honestly, if someone was so darned annoyed by it then they have bigger issues than my silly annual newsletter!

  • stargazzer
    12 years ago

    i don't think it's bigger issues, i think it is people who are a little hurt that family and friends don't take the time once a year to make a xmas card a little more personal. part of the difference is how you feel about having to take the time to do it. i like doing xmas cards, each one brings back the memories we made together.

  • cheli
    12 years ago

    What makes you think I dont enjoy doing them? With every address I write out I do in fact think of the folks its going to and remember stuff we have done, its not uncommon for me to even pick up a phone at that very moment if it's been a long time. The page that is a picture collage that I include with the newsletter requires a lot of thought as well, making sure to include certain pictures that certain folks would like to see and making it all fit so there is a special piece there for each special person receiving them. And as I said, I do make a point to put something personal in the card so they know i thought of that PERSON rather than just stuffed envelopes, just one line but personalized just the same. I know not everyone has that much time even, but I start early (mid november), setting the cards out on the table where i see them all the time and each time i sit down at that table i jot something in a couple of cards until finally they are all done & ready to stuff with the newsletter and picture collage and mail :)
    I do get a few of those newsletters from others that don't put any personal touch in them, they don't annoy me, one of them I really don't read as I don't know any of the people mentioned within it (from an uncle i have met once in my life and have never known his family). If it annoyed me so much that I would take the time to complain about it and the energy to be bothered by it... i think it would be time to reflect on myself and why something so silly bothered me that much. I don't understand a need to tell someone to stop sending them, they obviously enjoy putting them out and why suck the wind out of their sails when it takes no effort at all to pull the letter out of the card and toss it out (or utilize to get a fire going in the fireplace)? I just see no point of doing that to someone at the risk of taking any of the joy out of their day when its really no burden to me at all. Just my thoughts...

  • silversword
    12 years ago

    I'm annoyed by them, but enjoy reading them all the same, if that makes any sense. I like to be updated, but they are just so upbeat and have no reality that it makes me a little ill.

    I have one aunt who sends them. Her year always went SWELL... and her son is an angel (my crazy crazy crazy cousin) and her grandkids are wonderful... blah blah blah. I realized how much they bugged me when my dad told me several months after the holidays last year that her son wasn't doing that well, and his marriage had problems, and and and (and I got joy from knowing of his misery). I felt awful later, but when he told me I just got a little twinge of "it's not all roses, is it Aunt _______".

    Sick, I know. But that's what those hyper cheerful completely unrealistic letters do to me!!

    ~ Scrooge

  • cheli
    12 years ago

    silver,
    You must be getting different holiday letters than I have seen or sent, cuz i don't consider them "hyper cheerful" as they include some of the ups and downs of the year-they just dont dwell on the downs. The one I wrote included that we have downsized due to the economy and less work but then pointed out that we are just grateful to still be in the game as many other contractors aren't as fortunate in the current economic climate. Certainly don't want to depress anyone at the holidays, but also don't want to pretend that my world is perfect because that could be depressing to someone whose world is a mess. Primary goal is really to make folks smile and/or laugh :)

  • silversword
    12 years ago

    Well Cheli, it sounds like yours are truly "updates". The ones I seem to get are very different.

    "Certainly don't want to depress anyone at the holidays, but also don't want to pretend that my world is perfect because that could be depressing to someone whose world is a mess. Primary goal is really to make folks smile and/or laugh :)"

    Sounds like a nice letter. I do enjoy reading updates, but the tone can really set the reader off their feed.

  • flowergardenmuse
    12 years ago

    I think it really depends on the relationships. Often the letters seem generic and very impersonal. If they only list achievements, then it may feel like bragging and if communication throughout the year, or even years is poor, then it feels even less personal and that can send a message to others that you don't care enough about them to even maintain a relationship with them or continue to cultivate it.

    If you haven't kept in contact with someone (for whatever reason) and you suddenly want to reconnect, then I think a more aware (sensitive) approach would be to take the time to make it more personal.

    A lot of families are not very inclusive either. My MIL and in-laws demonstrated quite clearly by their actions that I was not wanted in their family. My MIL would send a yearly Xmas card with a brief note inside. Although she did put my name next to my husband's there was absolutely no attempt at making any type of personal connection towards me. His relatives are all the same. I stopped sending sending cards and making any attempts since they were never appreciated or reciprocated. Any cards (and they don't send any) or anything they send, even if it is to mr. and mrs., I just give to my husband, because I recognized the lack of sincerity in them. It is just all about them and him.

    I really believe that people who think about your feelings and want you in their life, make more of a personal effort.

  • cheli
    12 years ago

    I keep hearing "if you havent been in touch with them thru the year its less personal" but if one hasnt been in touch all year...its a two way street, not only did the sender of the card not "make a personal effort", neither did the recipient thru the year.
    Case in point, I have an out of state aunt who never calls or writes, its not a personal thing-i know she loves and cares but she's lazy lol. I used to call her often but got tired of being the only one to make any effort so I don't anymore. If she was one of those bothered that an update letter wasnt personal enough because I had made no other efforts thru the year-well then she should be pointing the finger at herself as well because she hasn't made any efforts either. Taking the time to send a card and update is more effort than she has extended. Keeping in touch is a two way street.

  • flowergardenmuse
    12 years ago

    cheli,

    Yes, I agree that it is a two-way street. Everyone's situations are different though. With my in-laws they demonstrated no personal effort and their hostility towards me was demonstrated through their consistent actions. Eventually, I stopped, because my efforts were not reciprocated or appreciated.

    In a small note, written inside a card it would take very little to write a sentence or two that would make it more personal and effective. That was never done. Case in point, my husband's step-mother (the 3rd) would always place his name first inside a card. Eventually, she would write my name, but nothing personal. When she separated from his father, she wrote us both a note (his name first). That didn't get her the response she was looking for, so the next card she placed my name first. I noticed the gesture and eventually wrote her back. Prior to this there was really nothing, not until she had a need and made the effort.

  • cheli
    12 years ago

    I realize each situation is different and strained relationships like that with your inlaws is entirely different than what I was speaking of. As far as whose name is first on a card or envelope, i really dont care and don't believe it should matter.

  • flowergardenmuse
    12 years ago

    Well I disagree. Subtle gestures matter and carry more weight given histories and communication patterns. I've always tried to be more personal with people...I make an effort because generally speaking, there are some people who do appreciate that.

  • western_pa_luann
    12 years ago

    "Case in point, my husband's step-mother (the 3rd) would always place his name first inside a card. Eventually, she would write my name, but nothing personal. When she separated from his father, she wrote us both a note (his name first). That didn't get her the response she was looking for, so the next card she placed my name first. I noticed the gesture and eventually wrote her back."

    Soooo...

    Unless your husband's stepmom puts YOUR name first (instead of her own stepson's), THEY "demonstrated no personal effort " and are hostile?

    Sorry, but I am with cheli . The order of the names does not matter a bit. I would hate to step on such eggshells if you were on my mailing lists....

  • flowergardenmuse
    12 years ago

    western pa luann,

    Don't be ridiculous....read the entire posts.

    "With my in-laws they demonstrated no personal effort and their hostility towards me was demonstrated through their consistent actions. Eventually, I stopped, because my efforts were not reciprocated or appreciated."

    They had a very long history of ignoring any efforts by me in any way, shape or form. When the stepmother finally did make a more personalized effort, after she didn't get the response she wanted from him, she tried with me. They divorced and she wrote that it no longer mattered what she said, and so she wrote about her anger and issues with his father and the rest of the family. She was attempting to contact me, when she hadn't previously, probably because she thought I'd be an empathetic ear and contacting me would no longer create problems in her marriage. She had nothing to lose.

    You don't get it and I really don't feel like trying to explain the situation anyway...

  • cheli
    12 years ago

    Well then shes not the only one that doesnt get, when i stated that I didnt think which name came first should matter, you said "i disagree".....
    Oh well!

  • western_pa_luann
    12 years ago

    "Don't be ridiculous....read the entire posts. "

    I am not ridiculous, and I did read the posts.
    And I quoted you directly, so there would be no misunderstanding.

    "You don't get it and I really don't feel like trying to explain the situation anyway... "

    Oh, that's okay with me!

  • flowergardenmuse
    12 years ago

    bulldinkie,

    I tend to agree with you...the people who truly love me and those who I love, we call and keep in touch throughout the year. I know about their lives and what matters--the good, the not so good and the mediocre. They make the effort with me and I make it with them. They don't have to focus on only what is positive and because of that I feel that I share something far more real and meaningful with them. I'm busy too...so I tend to focus on people who reciprocate and appreciate my efforts. Most people have each other's emails anyway and they can communicate if they want too...If Christmas is supposed to be a season about giving, I wish that same feeling was extended throughout the year. I know a lot of people who would appreciate knowing that they are thought of at other times...

  • bucyn
    12 years ago

    I like them and don't care if they aren't 'personal'. Guess what, it's not all about me.

    And phones and mail go both ways, if you are complaining that they aren't reaching out to the rest of the year, ask yourself if you are doing it for them. If you want personal, call them up and get personal with them.

    I don't do them, but I should, my family would like it. And it might be a nice keepsake. My SIL does one and I love it when it comes.

  • c9pilot
    12 years ago

    I must be a real wacko because I LOVE those Christmas letters and especially LOVE those pictures. Keep 'em coming! (I do not particularly like the email letters or photos - they clog my inbox and then get buried in the computer somewhere, instead of being put up on my wall)

    Please keep in mind that after spending 24+ years in the Navy, our friends & relatives are many, move often, and are scattered around the world, including war zones. Something unique to the military is that bond that allows us to pick up a friendship right where it might have left off 2 tours ago, 2 newborn kids ago, 2 wives ago, whenever! We often have someone call us up out of the blue, having not laid eyes on or spoken to for 10 years, and say, hey, I'm here in your town on temporary duty for say, a conference, and can we get together for dinner tonight? Sure, of course! That's how it works. Or maybe you're on vacation in Denver and you happen to stay in the same hotel as someone you know who's out there from California for work and you happen to run into them on the elevator and you pick up where you left off. And it's those annual Christmas letters that keep us up on the kids and spouse and promotions and new addresses and phone numbers and the stuff that we need to be able to do it.

    And let me tell you, when you're floating around on the high seas for 6 months (or on patrol in the desert), those letters and photos could not EVER be too long or detailed!

    I've trimmed my list down to about 120. Every year we lose a few (lost track due to moves, or sadly, passing) and gain a few (new friends in our new location). Although I've skipped some years, and some years they turned into New Year's cards or even Valentine's cards, I'm compelled to send out something because if I miss 2 years in a row, I'll lose a lot of folks due to military moves.

    Just my 2 cents on the issue.
    Happy holidays to all!

  • discotrish
    12 years ago

    Hilarious that this topic has generated some angry/annoyed responses! I guess if I got stuff I didn't like, I'd do the same thing I do with junk mail...turn it over and use it for a shopping list. But I love getting the letters plus cards that include family/kid pics on them. When you've moved away from family and friends to another part of the country, these things are priceless reminders.

    I'll admit to being a letter writer, but my goal is to communicate the family news in such a way that eveyone is able to see the hilarity of the past year, so it's really more anecdotal than a "listing of achievements and events" as such. The best compliment I ever received on my Christmas newsletter (and this will be my only brag in this post) is that one of my friendsd told me she found our letter so entertaining that she would read it to friends of HERS who didn't know me! haha!

    But, I alway scribble a few personal lines (I use holiday sticky notes for this purpose) so people don't feel I'm not directing personal sentiments their way. (Though frankly I don't see anything wrong with just sending the letter).

    I forget, the letters are awful because we don't like the people sending them? Hate their good news? Or what?

    Yeah, these letters tend to have all the same flaws the people writing them do: some go on and on about minutia (got one that detailed an excruiating home renovation, right up to details concerning various contractors!) My hubby still laughs about that one. Laughs, that is, not gets annoyed or curses letter writers. Another who described all her children's illnesses and how her van had turned into a (avert eyes if you don't want to be grossed out on this line "rolling vomitorium.") In a holiday newsletter! We still get a chuckle over that one.

    But so what? Most are just fun and newsy. The braggy ones, well, there are always people who try too hard. Got one from a friend of my husband's who is getting divorced. The pic included only her and the kids, and she said she and her husband were splitting up so he could "pursue other interests."

    I have to admit, that's quite a bombshell to drop in a newsletter. I would have to come up with a super memorable line if I had that sort of news to deliver.

  • rocknaranch_verizon_net
    10 years ago

    Just got one of these,again. The way I see it If you can't keep in touch during the year then there's no relationship anyhow. Yeah, were all busy but that's an excuse to be impersonal and self absorbed. I realized that after getting this latest letter. My friends' mother had died this year. What ever happend to an old fashioned phone call. I guess being named Executive director of this or that give you a pass on frienship. If I didn't need to know then why do i need to know now? It's a seriously tacky "tradition" and a sorry excuse of a "look at me" society.

  • rydnhi7_att_net
    10 years ago

    Personally, I dread reading these letters. My family has gone through many years of emotional and financial crises and I really do not care about your goody goody all-american over-achieving children, and how many days a week you teach Religious Education or where you run your kids around to all their over-organized after-school activities. It is boring and obnoxious....I have to work full-time; my kids don't have the luxury of having a soccer mom SO don't rub it in. I stopped sending cards.........

  • vala55
    10 years ago

    Marie I agree with you about "no relationship" and I think it is the same with funerals where people cry and carry on, but never took the time to visit when the person was well and could enjoy their company. It applies in many situations.

    If this thread causes anger I think it is because of no contact during the year and then send out a brag letter.

    I haven't sent cards in years, but do write Christmas letters. I don't even care for Christmas cards with only a signature. This year I received a photo of my nephew's children without a signature or Christmas greeting, nothing. It makes me angry because these are people I care about, people I would do anything for. I am just a duty to them.

  • flowergardenmuse
    10 years ago

    I'm just returning to this post and notice a few other comments since last year.

    My husband's aunt sends him pictures of herself with her grandkids or son attached to an email. She never writes anything in the email--no hello or how are you doing or what is going on in your life. The emails are blank. Other than the blank emails with the attached pictures she will occasionally send him forwarded jokes. He says he's responded a few times with how are you and she never replies. Oh well--it seems very strange.

  • vala55
    10 years ago

    Flower it means only one thing to me, they really don't care about us. I will not communicate with someone like that. And I recently bought a computer and found out I could "bounce" the emails back to where they came from. Oh, joy!!!!

  • flowergardenmuse
    10 years ago

    vala55,

    I tend to agree, but I posted previously from a few years ago about my experiences with my in-laws and some commenters responded with anger. Relationships need balance and if you are the one doing all the work and you don't feel your efforts are appreciated or reciprocated, then eventually you may stop, drift away and turn your efforts to people where it doesn't feel wasted. That's what happened with my in-laws--they are not close and their selfish, destructive behaviors towards others is the main contributing reason as to why. Its all through the family.

  • Testmaster2
    7 years ago

    "Busy lives/too busy" - what an excuse. I am sick of hearing it. Do we really understand the meaning of the word these days? Too many of us do not work as hard as our predecessors. Nowadays, we have more ways to communicate, keep in touch, than ever before. Getting in touch shows others that we care in a polite and invaluable fashion. Granted, some of us always had poor communication skills, or were afraid to communicate. Today's technology seems to give these types more reason to validate their "busy-ness". As for the annoying Christmas "bragging letters" - they are ghastly and thoughtless. Letters loaded with information all about themselves. What does this really mean to the receiver? EVen if they just wrote a simply few lines, e.g., "wishing you well, thinking of you or Happy holidays" would lead one to think someone cares. Why the lengthy summary? Here is someone who has not bothered to keep in touch throughout the year, or answered letters, no doubt. These letter in themselves are an example of poor letter writing and poor communication practice - one sided topics which translate usually into a lot of showing off or "bragging". In short, it is a habit that needs to stop. It is true, not everyone who receives their letter will be blessed with a charmed year/life, have all the kids well-schooled or be without illness or suffered loss of work in the preceding 12 months. So, who wants to hear how wonderful their lives have been, or how the other side of the so-call friends, so-called relatives are doing at this time - very few and especially those who are suffering. Do we even know these extended family members they keep referring to year after year?...most likely not. Hopefully, one day, the writers of these dreadful annual summaries will give it up. Perhaps take a moment (from their "busy" lives) to really consider and think of others, wonder how they are doing. One day, perhaps they might come to the realization that a lot of valuable ink cartridge and paper is being wasted, when we no longer read their notes, simply dropping them in the bin/garbage without even a read. I do hope someone puts this topic in mainstream media and gives these people some food for thought. P.S.: We put one such note straight in the bin this year.....reason being, my daughter was taken into hospital three days before Christmas. Our city suffered an horrific ice storm, freezing trees and power lines and the electrical power failed .....and extended through to New Year's eve! On a positive note - we could have used that extra paper to light another candle, I suppose.

  • emma
    7 years ago

    Flower, what you said is so true.
    _____
    "Relationships need balance and if you are the one doing all the work and you don't feel your efforts are appreciated or reciprocated, then eventually you may stop, drift away and turn your efforts to people where it doesn't feel wasted."
    _____
    That is the situation I have been in for years with my sister. I do all of the visiting, I have been visiting her all of my adult life and didn't worry about her coming over. I am not 77 and I am finished.

  • LuAnn_in_PA
    7 years ago

    "P.S.: We put one such note straight in the bin this year.....reason being, my daughter was taken into hospital three days before Christmas. Our city suffered an horrific ice storm, freezing trees and power lines and the electrical power failed .....and extended through to New Year's eve! "

    ???
    So you begrudge everyone who was not as unhappy as you?

    I personally like the letters,,, and those with lots of photos are even better!

  • Truss71
    6 years ago

    Lets just put it this way, if you think it is worthy of being published, then publish it. If you think it is bull$%^& don't publish it. Yet, if it leaves out your eighty year old aunt who you celebrated with, on her eightieth birthday that you have visited, not more than once in 65 years, then you need your head examined.