Yes, I love an afternoon tea.
I have done tea at the Claridge, and it's a wonderful experience. Also in London at Fortum&Mason and the Marriott hotel on the Thames where I stayed.

The Grand Floridian hotel at Disney World does a nice tea everyday.

We have several tea rooms here at in my area, but because I've been working until lately...afternoon tea hasn't been possible.

Hmmm, maybe i'll call a GF and see if she's available this coming week....

Sounds lovely if 'that's your cup of tea' LOL
Me, I'm more of the toss a tea bag in a mug and drink it, IF I even remember I made it! LOL
I would be so out of my element and SO uncomfortable at a place like that.

I'm with you on that one Jenni....I'm afraid I would feel so uncomfortable that the price wouldn't warrent going.
I'm also not a huge fan of la-de-da resturants or dining rooms.
I'm more at home at Cracker Barrel...LOL
This post also reminds me of an incident a few years ago.We had just moved to a new town,and within days the next door lady dropped by and invited me over for a cup of tea.
Well off I went the next afternoon in my usual shirt and jeans.
As soon as I walked in the door I realized my mistake...here were all the town's hoity toity ladies dressed to kill in their dresses and jewellery,and the table was set with silver and white linens...all ready for "high"tea.
I could have went through the floor.I stayed as long as I could without seeming rude,but have never felt so out of place in my life.
The lady who had invited me,became a good friend of mine later on,and we often laughed about it,but that day I was ready to strangle her for not warning me.

I'm like you Jenni.....sometimes I find my cup of tea in the microwave a few hours later because I forgot! I love tea, but to me it's nicer to stay home and enjoy it in my swing on my patio!

Eliza that is a funny story! That would have been exactly how it would have been with me.
I don't do 'hoity toity'....and personally, I don't even care to be around those types. A bit to into them themsleves for me.
To each his own as they say.

I can enjoy a fine cup of tea without Silver and China.

My idea of the desired atmosphere is fresh air on the Patio with the birds chirping.

Gayle

Tea sounded fun to me until I read some of the other responses and realized that I'd be out of my element as well.

I'm more of a coffee on the patio type of girl I guess.

And, there are many people who are equally comfortable in many different surroundings.
Why limit yourself to only one form of socializing?
Why do some people think that sometimes putting on clothes other than jeans or drinking out of a cup with a saucer is "hoity toity"?

I find a breakfast of perfect eggs Benedict in a nice hotel dining room is no better (or pretentious) than a perfect over-medium eggs and ham in a local diner. A person can like both.

So, what do you find wrong or pretentious with a formal afternoon tea?

I'm wondering if some people don't realize that a "tea" is a meal, not a snack.
There is a difference between a formal tea, high tea and low tea. Similar to a supper, a holiday dinner and a formal dinner.

Monica, I'll answer your questions.

What do you find wrong or pretentious with a formal afternoon tea....
I never said, nor did anyone else, that there is anything WRONG with it, I merely said it's not for me.

And, there are many people who are equally comfortable in many different surroundings.
Yes there are and that's why I said 'to each his own"

Why limit yourself to only one form of socializing?
Why? Because that is what I am comfortable with. I am not going to some 'high tea' thing if I'm not comfortable with it. And I certainly won't do it for the sake of 'socializing'

Why do some people think that sometimes putting on clothes other than jeans or drinking out of a cup with a saucer is "hoity toity"?
Again, why? Because that's just what we think. And because a whole lot of the time those 'dressed up, drinking out of a cup with a saucer' type of people act 'hoity toity'
Again, to each his own!
Ain't America grand? We can all think what we want!

I've done tea at Fortum & Mason's too. NOT my cup of tea, dahling.
Leslie

I just like to feel relaxed while I enjoy my tea, coffee, etc. I'd hate getting dressed up just to have it, To me the clothes would be the big issue...just too stuffy feeling for me. I love to socialize, but not in surroundings where I have to be afraid of not being proper or offending someone because I wasn't proper for their "tea". That's just what comes to mind when I think of an afternoon tea, gloves, hats and the dresses. I'd rather go to the local diner and be more comfortable ...but that's just me...like Jenni said, it's all in what you like. I, personally would feel like I was trying to be something I'm not. No one should be offended here...if it's your cup of tea, then enjoy it!

There's lots of stuff in the world I don't understand.
Some of that stuff I will seek the meaning of.
Other stuff?
Well, it just doesn't mean anything to me so why bother?
Tea or high tea fall under the category of 'why bother?'.
Does this make me a heathen? Unsophisticated? Ignorant?
There are some who would say 'All of the above'.
And that's okay.
I am very secure with who I am, how I live and my social accomplishments. Anyone who may think I am lacking and they are superior or that I owe it to them to try their way, well....that's too bad.

Tea has never been my cup of tea except the bottled (read: FAKE) flavored ice tea. Even in my backwards , non-sophisticated world I realize this stuff isn't real. It tastes good but it's not proper tea. As for the 'real' tea that requires boiling water, a teapot and cozy and seeping certainly isn't worth the effort to prepare AND change into proper attire just to drink it and eat dainty little bake goods that would take all day to prepare. I find this practice not only pretentious but impractical. Some may have time for this but I certainly don't.

As far as tea being a meal...what?
Not in my world. Tea would not be considered 'breakfast'. The tea menu would not meet the standards of 'dinner' (which is what some folks refer to as lunch) and tea certainly wouldn't fill the table for supper.

A meal, to me and mine, is not tea served with small, cute but crustless sandwiches (I've never heard what the filling in a tea sandwich is? Roast beef? Egg or ham salad? Peanut butter and jelly?), and a oh so delectable and pretty array of desserts. If 'tea' is a meal, where's the vegetables? More importantly, what is served hot? A meal isn't a meal without a hot dish in my opinion.

In my world 'tea' (high or otherwise) would be but a mere snack, served, say, in the late afternoon at a branding or what I'd take to the hay field to tide the workers over until the next real meal.

However, during my 'snacks', would there be socializing?
Oh yeah.
Would the conversations be quiet and reserved?
No. The topics would be varied as well as, depending upon the individual, the voice volume.

Would the tea be consumed out of fragile cups, so small one couldn't help but elevate the little finger? No but mainly because such a cup wouldn't hold enough liquid to satisfy a normal thirst and it would take far too much time keep the pretty but inadequate cup full enough to moisten someone's mouth.

Would there be a change of attire?
Are you kidding? There's too much daylight left after 'tea time'; too much to waste putting on another shirt or pair of pants, so the work clothes remain 'on' and would until shower and bedtime after it got too dark to work.

However, everyone at my tea would wash their hands before eating, say 'please pass the cake/sandwich/drink/" and utter a sincere but simple 'Thanks' when done eating.
My guys would do all this but would think I'm crazy.
Unless the food and drink is substantial enough to justify the work stoppage I really needn't bother. Instead of a high 'tea' my guys would prefer cookies (home made out of a huge tupperware container), a big jug or ice water and a cooler full of pop. Napkins are optional and drinking utensils are plastic.

Not everyone would want to come to my tea.
Hopefully those folks who wouldn't want to attend are intelligent enough to know it just as I know I wouldn't fit in at a proper tea so why bother?

Lori

Lori your reply is priceless, absolutely priceless! I would be honored to come to your tea!
And I just know that I would feel very comfortable and very welcomed!
You're MY kind of "hoity toity" !!

I find this practice not only pretentious but impractical.

I wouldn't say the practice is pretentious..pretentious is the one who makes claim to an unfamiliar culture. To the "tea set" this is not unfamiliar.

A formal tea is not a tea swilling event designed to quench one's thirst, it's a social function comprising of several components, dressing up being one of them.

My pal and I did tea once a few years back as a Mothers Day treat to ourselves. It was a nice old house redone in our town but at $35 a person, I was not impressed. The amount of food was not good there were 7 of us three different groups all cramped in one room while other rooms were empty. So not very private~~really it was not fancy or fun. My pal loved it and wanted to do it again~~~not me. An afternoon at StarBucks with a day old scone is better than that and that only cost me about 5bucks!

Lori's holding a tea...my kinda TEA!! EVERYONE IS INVITED!! (i'll bring my own tea though since it's ALWAYS SUTHIN ICED!!)

Not to be disrespectful, but this must be a regional thing because I don't think they have them in this part of Oklahoma. BUT if we're in town, we drive through Sonic during happy hour and get a large cherry limeade real cheap. Heck, sometimes we even get tater tots or cheddar peppers (with Ranch dressing!) in the afternoon, or we get foot long coney dogs if it's supper time (our evening meal here is called supper - not dinner). If we park instead of drive through (so that the carhop brings it out) and we know the people in the car next to us, we socialize with them by hollering back and forth.

:-)

I have never had high tea in a nice hotel or tea room, but I would love to go sometime. I love a good mug of tea while sitting on a log over a campfire, sitting on the patio, or in a fancy restaurant.

I took my Mom and sister to The St. Francis in San Francisco years ago. We all really enjoyed it because it was something different to do. I would do it more often if I had someone to do it with and there was a place closer that offered it.

The place was impressively elegant, built in 1904, and the food and service was very good. I enjoyed the experience. I don't think they do it there anymore. The menu was something like this (now served at Ritz Carlton), The Traditional Tea ($29) arrives on a tiered carousel with tea sandwiches (Norwegian Smoked Salmon with Pickled Onion and Caviar; Cucumber, Roquefort and Walnuts; Prosciutto and Melon; Egg and Chive), a scone with Devonshire Cream, lemon curd, and preserves, English Tea cakes, a fresh fruit tartlet, a Madeleine, a Florentine, and shortbread.
Clare

I also must agree with Lori. You took the words right out of my mouth.
You definitely are my kind of a 'tea drinker'!!
You go Girl :-)
Deb

I wouldn't say the practice is pretentious..pretentious is the one who makes claim to an unfamiliar culture. To the "tea set" this is not unfamiliar.

Huh?

Read me again, okay?

There's lots of stuff in the world I don't understand.
Some of that stuff I will seek the meaning of.
Other stuff?
Well, it just doesn't mean anything to me so why bother?
Tea or high tea fall under the category of 'why bother?'.
Does this make me a heathen? Unsophisticated? Ignorant?
There are some who would say 'All of the above'.
And that's okay.
I am very secure with who I am, how I live and my social accomplishments. Anyone who may think I am lacking and they are superior or that I owe it to them to try their way, well....that's too bad.

I do, believe it or not, understand the concept a tea is not to quench one's thirst but rather a social event.
However, if I do find myself, in a social situation, slowly sipping a beverage while visiting (which is what I call socializing) that beverage had darn sure better have some whiskey in it. Any other liquid is for drinking/quenching my thirst. Whiskey, on the other hand, especially Top Shelf Crown, is for sipping and visiting, er, I mean, socializing over.

Lori

McMann,
This was very interesting to read.

I use to think I would really enjoy that sort of occasion, but now I am over 60 and I figure, if I haven't experienced it yet -- I don't need to! I don't like to be in unfamiliar situations anymore.

I realize, after reading Monica's explanations, that high tea is a whole meal rather than grabbing a cup of coffee. I guess it is actually "A Special Occasion" without anything special happening. When we go to special occasions (like weddings, funerals, congratulatory parties, or B-day parties with invitations) we usually dress nicer then our everyday clothes. That puts High Tea in that same catagory. Maybe it is a good way to keep in practice, or use those precious clothes that were bought for a special event. I too, think it is a regional thing, and nobody around here would even know what I was talking about if I asked someone to High Tea. My guess is that everyone I know would have a convenient excuse for not being able to come. LOL

I think I would be in my element at Lori's or Jenni's, no matter how much food was provided with that big mug of coffee.

The gal who use to live nextdoor to me, spends winter in FL. She once told me that her neighbor in FL was moving back to Boston, and she couldn't wait to be able to DRESS everyday again. She prefered to wear nylons and dresses and jewlery everyday. She would be in her element at High Tea!

I'm glad for those who enjoy such and are able to find the place for it, even though it is not for me.

I used to do this once or twice a year at Skytop, which was then a private hotel in the Pocono Mountains. (It's still there, just not private anymore.) My elderly relatives stayed there a couple of times a year, and I'd drive over with my small children for tea. I remember the walnut Steinway grand piano and the gorgeous setting best of all.

The last time I had tea at the Palm Court (which was a very long time ago) I got sick from their chicken salad. That's memorable, too, unfortunately.

As for comfort/discomfort in a dining situation, are we differentiating between high tea in elegant surroundings and getting out of our jeans to have dinner in a good restaurant? Seems to me most people are just fine with the latter.

Susan

Lori, Rita, you're my kind of girls.
Can I come? I'll bring some Diet Pepsis and the best beef jerky you've ever had.

Ron

I love going out for "tea" and there is a nice tea room in Kingsville that we have frequented for many years but I wouldn't change my clothes to go or dress up.

I have been for "tea" at the Plaza in New York and thankfully I didn't have to pay for it. LOL

My friends and I go out for "tea" quite often - we like the atmosphere of sitting at a nice linen/lace covered table while drinking tea from china cups and saucers and eating dainty desserts and are sometimes amused at those who are pretending to be "hoity toity" and turn their noses up at us. I would never pass at being one of the "upper crust" Most of the time I am more worried if I am going to break the dainty chair if I sit on it. LMAO

I do admit to cringing a bit when served tea in a big heavy mug with a tea bag but I wouldn't let you know it unless you were my friend Donna LOL. I never order tea out unless it is at a "tea" house. In restaurants the hot water they give you in those little metal pots is usually tepid.

My family is British and Scottish - I grew up with tea being served like a ritual after every meal. China tea pots, tea cups and saucers, bone china mugs for the men, sugar tongs, jam pots, milk in a server. Lunch was tea - same deal. Nothing hoity toity or pretentious - just tea. LOL

Family get together's the tea cups and saucers get put on the table - we all have our favourite tea cups in each home. At my brother's house my sister Lizzie and my SIL's father fight over who uses the black tea cup and saucer. I like the pink polka dotted one. I use the violet tea cup and saucer at my niece Jennifer's house and so on. It's our ritual. LOL

My Scottish Grandma would be aghast knowing I use a Pyrex tea pot that is trimmed with metal.

Excuse me now while I go make a pot of tea. 2 Red Rose tea bags in the pot - none less - sometimes 3 and I will be drinking it out of a bone china mug with Daisy the dog and Chloe the cat on the front of it with dainty little purple paws on the inside. LOL

Jenni, I still love the little tea pot you sent me in a swap.

Anne

We have a lot of British people in our area, and because of this there are a couple of shops nearby where we can have English tea. Casual attire at both.

They have many varieties of tea and bring you a nice pot of the one you choose. You get an assortment of little sandwiches, scones, cakes and so on.

My sister and I went to a nice tea room near her home -- there was an extensive tea menu and the owners made all the food from scratch. That was more like lunch and very good too.

My mother and I went to a lovely Victorian house that has been converted into a restaurant. They serve "high tea" which is more of a meal, including meats, the little sandwiches and larger portions of the desserts. Most people were dressed up at that place.

It may not be for everyone, but I think it's fun!

We had a small tearoom here in our little town for a few years. It was mostly a nice bakery and you could order flavored teas and coffee (before it was common). They used table linens but it was not fancy. It just made you feel like you needed to mind your 'P's & Q's'.

The did have one High Tea....there were about 6 women there, and anyone around could have told you who it would have been before or after! LOL That didn't go over very well in town.

Although we are NOT uppity people...by ANY means. We did teach the girls how to serve/eat, know which fork to use and how to act when you are out to a VERY nice place. They were in their young teens. We all had to dress for dinner. Dean had his suit on and the girls and I were in our 'Sunday best'. I served many courses and we talked about it all and had a book on proper etiquette. Both the girls have thanked us for doing that....sometimes it is nice to learn something fancy...although the chances of having to use it, are pretty slim....around here anyway.

Would I go to High Tea??? Probably not...unless both the girls were along so they could experience it.

Anne, I drink Red Rose tea, tooa carryover from the Scottish side of my family. (Although the tea is Canadian.)

I do admit to cringing a bit when served tea in a big heavy mug

But they sure make dunking your doughnut easier. :)

I think that expanding one's horizons is never a bad thing and have enjoyed high and low tea while traveling, and if you really wish to experience it do try Caridges. Basically high tea includes meat and is later in the day, 6pm or so, at a high table as one would find in a dining room. Low tea is earlier in the day, 3pm or so and is served at a low table....such as in a drawing room.

I am a tea-totaler. Never drink coffee, only tea.

Last year for my birthday, my DGD invited me to a Tea. She also invited my DD (her aunt) because the tea was in DGD's town and she knew I wouldn't want to drive there. It was a surprise for me; she didn't tell me where we were going, except that it would be special. She did suggest I not wear jeans.

It was in an old building that had been renovated to preserve it. The Tea Room was in one section; very well done, but not overdone. Victorian but not to the point of being pretentious.

It was a pleasant couple hours in a quiet relaxed atmosphere, with many teas to chose from and a variety of pastries. Very enjoyable, and probably pricey.

I would consider the expected dress for a Tea would be the the same as for any ocher function: you wear what is appropriate. A swim party, wear a bathing suit. A back yard birthday party, wear jeans or shorts. A cocktail party, wear dressy. A Red Hat party, wear a red hat.

The "Tea" is not so much about the tea. It is a gathering of like-minded people for an enjoyable afternoon.

Here at my retirement community the Activities Director has started having a monthly Tea, which if possible occurs on a holiday. They are fun, we kinda wear our "best" jeans, a better top than everyday, and some wear dresses, but no white gloves and high heels. Not pretentious at all!

I would enjoy Lori's Tea, or another at a fancy place. Both are good. Variety is the spice of life.

Sue

I drink & love Red Rose as well.
Leslie

I would much rather to do "tea" with Jenni,Lori,Rita,Ron and others in a barn than in those silly, over-priced faux tea rooms. For me it comes down to what I have to "dress" for.

I also resent paying big bucks for mediocre food in teeny tiny portions. I can do my own ambiance. I also make great tea sandwiches.

Bring on the steak with all the fixings and a refillable glass of iced tea for me if I'm going to pay that kind of money.

My grandmother had a saying: "Everyone to their own taste," said the woman as she kissed the cow. :-)

The former owners of my house were artists, he a filmmaker and she a potter. They once put together an exhibit in the barn, serving wine and cheese at the opening reception. Of those who attended, the city transplants were delighted with the setting, and the local farmers were appalled.

It all depends on what we're used to, and what sort of new things appeal to us. I wouldn't go so far as to call someone else's pleasure "silly," thoughat least not in public. And what's a "faux" tea room? I thought we were talking about real tea rooms.

My first experience with a fancy tea was at the Dorchester Hotel in London over 30 years ago. It was lovely, delicious, fun and a delight to observe the English families in all their bib and tucker enjoying the same.

In recent years I have had tea with female family and friends at a local Victorian tea house, the Ritz Carlton Hotel along the beach, the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco, and a few other quaint preserved tea rooms. I loved them all. It is a real treat, as it should be considering the price.

I love tea. Although I didn't have it growing up, perhaps it's the Irish in me.

When we were on vacation in England, we had the opportunity to have high tea in several hotels. They were part of the package, so in the end we paid for it, but I didn't know what the price was per meal, so I could enjoy it. We went to the UK in March, and it was cold and rainy. We also spent a lot of time on concrete, looking at castles and churches, so I was usually very cold, tired and hungry by tea time. I loved every second of it. The tea was delicious. The scones slathered with butter or whipped creme were out of this world. I'm a very informal person, but since someone else was doing the work, I didn't mind the ceremony; it was unique and enjoyable. Also, since we were on tour and in the middle of sight-seeing, I could remain in my comfortable clothes.

Sheila, the first one we attended was also in the Grovesnor House in London. I think the Dorchester was a few doors away.

We also had tea at the club house at Saint Andrews Golf Course in Scotland.

Most of the people on the tour were not my "cup of tea". Not interested in history or culture, but only wanted to shop. There was a pro shop at Saint Andrews. Everyone wanted souvenirs. We also got a few, but nothing like the others. After our busload left the pro shop, it looked like locusts had hit - the shelves were empty

Anyway, I love high tea.

Oh I loved the scones with the clotted cream and jam. That was to die for. Thanks Lynne for the reminder.
Leslie

Lynne...nothing like a warm scone slathered with clotted cream :)

I also buy only Red Rose for bagged tea.

I love high tea! But I also love southern-sit-on-the-porch-tea too! Each tea experience is different and fun! I'm also a coffee drinker and love coffee shop dives to drink it in. To each their own...

Blessings!
Haley

Growing up in Germany we had afternoon Coffee, rather than tea.

Later, here in Oklahoma a bunch of Germans got together once a month, each time at another house for Coffee.

That was coffee, with several different cakes and tortes, served in fancy china cups with saucers, nice china plates and tiny desert forks, on a linen table cloth with linen napkins. We always dressed "nice" for it.

What a hoot it was. To bad, many moved away, and other died. The group no longer gets together.

Not afternoon tea, but fun, fancy, and so not American.

I loved it. It was often held at my house. I miss it.

There isn't a tea place around here, as far as I know, and my stomach doesn't do coffee anymore :(

Moni

We have a wonderful tea room in nearby Beacon NY. Reasonable prices, good food, and a lovely atmosphere. And you can get guissied up or not, the choice is yours. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't.
And I'll take Harney & Sons teas, please ;o) We also go to Harney's tasting room/cafe/store in Millerton, about an hour away. A great way to spend a few hours.

Moni, do you call that a kaffeeklatsch? My mother, who was of German descent, used that term when she and her friends got together over coffee.

I have forgotten that it is traditional in my hometown to give a Tea for Girls that are Graduating from High School. Usually 5 Girls honored per Tea. There were usually about 10 Teas. (Only 50 girls in my Graduating Class). It was actually fun, because we were, after all "Grown Ups" now. We were usually served finger sandwiches, Tea, Cake, Cookies, and Punch. The Punch was usually served in a Tea Cup.

Of Course, everyone bought a "new" dress for the occasion, but it was usually a sun dress.

Gayle

Yes, it was/is called a Kaffeeklatsch, depending on the women attending. It was just Kaffee in our family, and men and woman attended. But the group of German ladies and I called it Kaffeeklatsch. :)

I posted this topic this morning and just returned home. I think the adage "it's not my cup of tea" comes to mind after reading some of the replies. Rita's comment about tea being regional apparently rings true and of course it's also probably more familiar to those with strong ties to the British Commonwealth. My Irish Grandmother would serve us tea and it was just a time to relax with family and friends.

The tea rooms near my town tend to be in quaint old Victorian homes and the afternoon teas there are very casual and reasonably priced. Several times a year I get together with a few old friends and we spend the afternoon having tea and enjoying each other's company. If I ever make a trip to London I think it would be a treat to have tea in one of the grand old hotels. Unfortunately I don't think that will be happening any time soon.

Gayle...your post reminded me.
Senior year(1963) in my HS, the girls had to learn(in small groups thrughout the year) how to give an afternoon tea, how to set it up, how to pour, etc. The last session, each group had to hire a day room at a local hotel, set up a tea, and invite some teachers to our tea. We were graded according to how well it all went.

Red Rose tea isn't Canadian anymore, it is owned by Lipton. I didn't like it when they changed the packaging from the green and white box with the red rose to an orange coloured box. Even though I drink it still, somehow it doesn't taste the same as the old Red Rose Tea.

While I was drinking my tea earlier I was thinking about mugs. When I was a child mugs were used for cocoa, coffee and shaving cream. LOL As far as dunking donuts in tea I have never done that but I used to love cookies dunked in tea and the best of all was hot toast with peanut butter dunked in my tea. I can't have anything with peanuts anymore so I really miss that. LOL

Moni, my Aunt in North Bay used to have a koffeeklatsch with all the neighbour ladies. I loved it whenever I visited there.Sometimes they were more elaborate than any of the high teas I have been to. My Mom always had the ladies over for tea in our house.

LOL Lori, you made me laugh because my Mom held her pinky finger up but she didn't do that until she had Alzheimers. I used to get a big kick out of it and I would ask her if she was having "tea with the Queen" LOLOL

In many British families "Tea" can be a meal just like lunch is and it can be a hearty meal at that. Grandma used to say "come for your tea" which translated meant "come for lunch" Sometimes it was the heartiest meal of the day.

Tea is not just a beverage, it is social gathering with friends and family.

Anne

I cannot remember how far it is from where you are to Carmel but the Cypress Inn (off Ocean Ave) serves afternoon tea.

Here is a link that might be useful: Cypress Inn, Carmel, CA