Edward, I think they would be pink! Actually, I have a certain picture in my mind I guess when I plan a cross. It is based on the faults of a flower. I take it to the extreme sometimes, and I consider both SOT and BC to have the same flaw...not enough edge. I would cross either or both with JTD, and then add the other...(SOT x JTD)BC or (BC x JTD)SOT. Plus, by the time you make the second cross you might have a better eded pink to make the last cross. But if your goal is for color and not the edge, then my plan makes no sense. Ideally, (SOT x BC)Gary Colby would be good, but you did not gain much ground in the (SOT x BC) cross to help GC. Both have good color...so, (SOT x GC) would be better and faster (if the edge matters). So for me, where the edge does matter, I would make many crosses involving all three and get good seedlings to use GC on. Having a bunch of seedling pod parents is important. So, to answer your question in 1000 words or less, I would not make that cross.

Hi Jake, With Rosa Sinesis variegated varieties, eg Rose Flake and Snow Flake as pollen parents with plain foliated hibiscus as pod parents, none of my few seedlings grew variegated. You may find this useful as well, .. when you grow the seed of variegated Leriopes, you end up with all white seedlings that all die. Good luck, Brian Kerr.

I don't think it's a choice that should be made jointly. Children are entitled to be supported by both parents. If the ex is entitled to support (spousal, not child) then she should get it. If the terms of support are not indefinite, then it will eventually end. Some orders will continue forever until she dies or remarries. Whatever. But, if you rely on child support to live off, then 1) your child is suffering because child support is calculated with the assumption that both parents are going to contribute something. 2) Child support eventually ends when the child is emancipated.. apparently it's different in various states, but it DOES end (unless the child is incapacitated and it's ordered beyond the age of majority) When it ends, unless you have spousal support or some other source of income, you are pretty much stuck with no way to provide for yourself. It would suck to be in your 40's and looking for your first job. (My SD's mom is 35 now. Her older daughter will be 18 in 5 years and the child support she gets will end. Then what? She's never worked more than two months at a minimum wage job in her life.) Child support should not be adjusted so the CP can stay home. If she gets enough alimony to stay home, that's fine I guess. I still think she should work, even part time to contribute to the support of the child, especially if the child is in school. Younger kids that require daycare, it might be a wash and then it's better to have mom at home. when you have a child, you are supposed to contribute to the support of your child. If dad's GF sits around, she's only getting older and less employable. If she had a kid (by him or anyone else), I'd say she has no right to sit around doing nothing, she needs to contribute to her child's expenses just as much as the father. But, as long as dad is paying his obligations to you, what he chooses to do (by letting GF do nothing) is his business. I think he's a fool for supporting a bimbo and I think she's a fool for not doing anything with her life, but it's their choice, not anyone else's.

cawfe - thanks for your thoughts. Unfortunately my ex lives about 30 min away, so isn't available for much in the way of picking up/dropping off, unless it's on a weekend the boys are with him. I'm pretty much the primary parent, and my fiance helps when I have a scheduling conflict, but we don't rely on my ex for anything logistical. You're right, Dad's feeling left out although the boys are generally pretty circumspect in what they tell him of my fiance. They tell me nothing of my ex's GF (not that I ask except in the context of something else). sweeby - counseling is still an open question. The counselor who's doing the assessment of my older son has made it clear that she's not the right person to help us with co-parenting because that would put her in a dual role. She's happy to refer us to others, but the whole idea makes me tired. I can't tell you how many years we spent in counseling while we were married, both together and individual. I'm hoping that my son's counselor can help us get to the bottom of any harm that might have been done to him as a result of his father's fears. One alternative I'm considering is to give up on my ex ever changing, and instead work as a "family" within our current structure, the 4 of us (myself, fiance, 2 boys) and go to family therapy to talk about all of our concerns. This to me seems much more useful. I'm coming to the conclusion that in order to co-parent, there has to first be a foundation of trust and respect. Unfortunately we don't have either, and by the time we "get there" with a counselor, my sons will probably have gone off to college and the point would be moot. I'm pretty discouraged about making any progress, but then again I realize how stuck I am. It's late at night, I'm hoping all of this is somewhat coherent ;-) Ann