hey even with trees... each has its own season .... when it is in full glory .... and i treasure them.. FOR THAT SEASON .... IMHO .... the tri color's season .... is spring and early summer ... mine ALWAYS starts looking ratty in late august ... by which time.. i either have... other things to look at... or just dont care ... and mine has been in the ground for 10 years ... short of every single leaf turning brown and falling off.. i wouldnt worry about it .. yours is younger.. so extra water wont hurt... but i wouldnt worry about it too much .. as to the others.. are you sure a gallon of water is worth the effort???? ... if you have 7 trees .... e.g. .... i might prefer you gave one tree all 7 gallons one night .. and a different tree the 7, each day of the week .. rather than giving them all a little bit.. all depending on your soil, etc .... it is better to water DEEPLY and infrequently.. rather than otherwise .... sounds like you have a great collection going.. keep up the good work ... ken

I'm all for education being a "full time job". But what happens when parents aren't capable (OR WILLING, like mine!) to make that happen? How do you imbue kids with the resources to "adapt, improvise, overcome"? Personally, I think that is the more important question. Mericifully, I learned from the 'rents to "live lean". I can "squeeze a dollar 'til it hollers" with the best of them. I think it's important to give allowances. My parents never did that. Aside from occasional baby-sitting gigs, in a very rural town there were no jobs available. If I wanted to go to the movies I had to ASK for the money and justify the popcorn. IT SUCKED. I determined that once I had a job I'd never "go beggin'" again. How my practical parents missed the importance of an allowance escapes to to this day. Work=gain. Pure and simple. I was never able to hold a job until I was 18 (there were no jobs in my town and my work/study job the first one I have had!). Use of the family car was purely discretionary. MY use of it was predicated on my GPA. Straight As earned a sizeable insurance break... and use of the car! I may not have paid for the insurance increase, but I damn sure EARNED the "break". A speeding ticket or ticket for a moving violation would have grounded me for between 60-90 days. A car was NOT a "god given right" when I began driving, it was a priviledge, subject to parental vagaries, lol. My parents did a CRUMMY job of imparting to me the most fundamental aspects of establishing a "budget". They did it wonderfully themselves and I was a good "study", but they failed woefully when it came to actually TALKING about money and its management. Talking about money was like talking about sex... everything was cloaked in time-honored "mystery". A total fu**kin' waste of time! A HS student who works should pay "room and board". Put the money in an account for them (identify this as "savings" while stressing the importance of rationing a paycheck!). Talking about money and how to use it for your greater benefit is crucially important. Money is a TOOL, something we all have to use. Learning how to use it effectively begins with "baby steps"... savings, budgets, forestalling immediate gratification. The sooner kids learn that it costs money to live, work, and how to provide for that, the better off they will be in long run. They need to be informed that you have to take care of the BASICS before you can begin to "blow money". Savings. Basic budget. Fun money. I'm 47, with no kids. I've paid every note I've assumed before the term was up. I've never bounced a check. I work in the "trades"; work ethic was part and parcel of the way I was raised. But it would have been a lot less stressful had I been given the basic outline before I was 18. For me, it was as though I was dropped into the "deep end"; needlessly frightening and stressful. Years later I've only just become comfortable with the notion that I can actually SPEND money on something other than basic necessities. You shouldn't have to be honest, hard-working, and in your 40s to feel comfortable with your finances. This feeling was an option for me 20+ yrs. ago, but I was too afraid of money then!

SD10 has come from a family in Ca. that stops everything for the children. They actually run wild. Not something that I am used to at. Although SD10 is not wild, she is very well behaved, she does retain that "I am the most important person in the room" attitude. She has made progress and as her daddy makes progress (LOL) I think she will do much better. She made a comment after arriving here that sums it up quite adequitly I think. She was dead serious when she remarked..."I'm just not right anymore!"....She had never been challenged before she moved in with us. So here is a 13 year old boy and a 17 year old girl and myself refusing to be told how life works by a 7 year old....pretty funny. Dad would just let her have her way, she ran the show. Having her home for the holiday break is giving me a chance to work on things. She is limited now to 2 hours of TV unless we do a movie or something extra. She and I have played on the Wii together and she spent time at a friend's house. She was drawing in the living room when I came in here to post. I had a long talk with DS16 last night and he is missing the "old" days before I remarried. It has been difficult for him to accept SD's age/behavior. But then of course he was the youngest before she came along. I was quite sad about it, did a lot of crying and then decided that he and I should have a date night every so often. SD and dad could do a date night on the same night and that would give her his undivided attention. As far as extra activities....she is in an extra math and science class twice a week, private violin lessons once a week and church youth group once a week. We do trips to the library.....she loves to read. We also do church every Sunday and she is in Sunday school there. She has a pretty well rounded life. I do want to make sure that I am not picking on her. I know that she is doing what she has been taught and what has worked for her before the remarriage. I have to teach DH how to be part of family and not an outstanding individual so to speak. I don't mean that disrespectfully. Family dynamics from childhood play a big part in it, both on his side and mine. I remember my first SD being the same way and she was an only child not to mention the grandparents favorite. I had never seen adults stop what they were doing to watch a child dance until I met her. She wasn't even taking lessons. I thought...ok...when are we just going to sit and watch her breath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was raised in a household where kids were to be seen and not heard and most of the time nobody even wanted to see you.

I have always worried about my kids. Don't we all? If there is nothing big to worry about, I worry about the little things. Parents just worry. Must be part of the job description. Worry or hope or concern ought to motivate parents to motivate their kids. Worry that does not motivate action to resolve real worries is useless. The next generation all need training for a profession that can support them and their families. So I push, push, push with education and sensible planning. My older son would get so upset with me when I disapproved of his report card full of B's. "Mom," he'd say, "all my friends' moms would love to see this report card come home with them." But I knew he was smart and able to do more. So I pushed, but I did not have a battleground in the kitchen. They all have a profession and are earning good money. The married one has a wonderful spouse and delightful child. We all need to remember that the USA is a strong country--good enough to weather this terrible storm. Try not to let 24/7 gloom and doom news stories redefine America. That is the root of some of our problems--the emotional reactions of people to the bad news the media spreads 24/7 and even exaggerates on a daily basis. The lazy reporting can do a number on you and the nation's outlook. We had a serious crisis. I hope we are on the mend. But do not forget who we are and how sound this nation is, even with this national and global economic crisis. Life is not perfect, and I am not saying that it is. I know people have lost jobs and their homes and their health. I also know that some people bought homes they had no business buying and some firms were managed imprudently and perhaps criminally.