Thanks so much, everyone. Sorry I didn't get to answer before. I wish I had more time to get on here. Summer is hectic with the Monarchs, the garden, the lawn, and any other project that I want to do and not be outside freezing while I'm doing it. The information all of you gave was very helpful. I did run into a problem and that is that somehow half of my cats disappeared. 7 out of 12 are among the missing and I don't think they're coming back because they've been missing for I don't know how many days now. Maybe I should have kept them separated. Do the big ones eat the little ones? I never had problems with that with the Monarchs. So now I'm down to 5. I hope I get eggs here yet, but it is getting kind of late. I did find an egg on my parsley and one of my rue. I just can't imagine getting dozens of eggs like others on here do. This female BST flies around like she's on a mission, looking for something, and I assume it's a place to lay eggs. She goes near the plants sometimes but doesn't land. Other time she lands but doesn't do anything. I don't know what her problem is, and I don't know why she waited until now to start laying eggs. Isn't it late for them to be laying in PA. Gosh, we'll get our first frost in another month. Oh, these will probably overwinter. I forgot. lol So I imagine they can lay awhile yet, right? How big do that cats get before they pupate? These two biggest ones I have are wandering around so much but don't seem to be getting anything done. I don't know if they're just out taking a stroll or what. I have them in a big plastic storage container (about 18" x 24") and put in bamboo sticks in case they want to pupate on those. Cathy

I don't think that there's been much change in the parameters relating to my cards (one recently signed up for) in recent months. It's the old corporate game - while they love competition among their suppliers ... and among their customers ... they hate it on their own level and work to get rid of their competition at whatever cost: buy the competitors, squeeze them out, start frightening rumours about them or whatever. There aren't a lot of card companies ... so they can pretty well set their own rules ... and we can take it or leave it. They offer unsecured loans ... and have been suffering losses, as people die owing, go bankrupt, etc. And, the economy being what it is, with so many becoming unemployed, they likely anticipate more such losses in the near future. Plus many of the banks have been left holding the bag on many of those stinky loans, mortgages, etc. - I own Canadian bank shares, which got stuck with a number of them, and the value of my shares are now less than 40% of what they were in early summer 2007. Good wishes for increasing skill at managing your money effectively. ole joyful

Assume feeding and caring for in addition to driving? Whoa! Being male and therefore out of the mommy-logic loop, maybe I'm out of touch but I wouldn't do anything like this for anyone for 25 bucks a day. Nor would I allow my wife to do it for such a pittance while compromising the care of our own children. (Just made that up. I'm not married or raising children, just trying to make a point.) From the replies to OP, I'm seeing about 1/2 minimum wage plus much risk and zero benefits. On the other hand, I know what it's like to not have money and the joy of being able to depend upon something coming in where there wasn't before. I don't know your situation. Your call. How important is it? My situation is on the other end. Full-time care-giving for elderly mother. Doesn't amount to anything. Basically, companionship and meal-making. Somebody has to be here at all times. I pay $15.00 @hour for this service from known/trusted people. That includes sleeping time. My occasional 24-hr. single-overnight weekends cost me $360.00. Eight-hour daytime shifts are $160.00. Nobody will do anything for less than that where I live. Your responsibilities and risks will be greater than my hired substitute care-givers. And I doubt the pay-scale and/or expectation is any less in Oregon than it is here. Your friend is trying to buy trust and dependability at a discount price. If you're both OK with it, that's fine. Just saying at the amount suggested by other respondents, I think you're getting ripped.

I read your original post and pretty much skipped the follow ups because I want to respond, just to YOUR post and not the opinions of others. "she left him after 11 years when she becamse pregnant by a bf. She now lives with the bf, who is abusive physically and verbally, and the 3 kids live with her too because they go to school there and their dad works at a feed lot FULL TIME!!" Working full time is NO reason to leave your three children in a situation with a physically & verbally abusive stepdad or worse, just her boyfriend. "OK, so the problem. The kids spend weekends and some holidays and summer with us. When they are at our house, I am with them all day when he is working. I discipline and hand out chores and rewards...all the things expected of a mother. We get along very well and my bf backs me up when needed. Recently we recieved the 13 year olds grades from first nine weeks and she is basically flunking all core classed. I'm talking C's and D's. (and not even a C+). My bf was upset too and we talked and he talked with the ex. I also e-mailed his 13 year old about how I felt. I am a teacher, so I thought maybe I'd have a different insight. They never bring homework with them on the weekends and I told her I want to see homework from now on. The next night the ex called my bf and was very upset that I e-mailed and he talked to her for 30 minutes and seemed to agree with everything she said. Then he was angry at me and when I tried to defend myself....he kicked me out." I disagree with anyone that says you were trying to assume "parental" anything. You were however, the babysitter while he was at work. Before my now husband moved in, I kept his daughter when she didn't have school and he had to work (on his weeks because he had her every other week) I don't have a problem with that. Your post is titled "future?" so I assume you'd like to marry this guy and if he felt that way about you, he would value YOUR opinion. The fact that he threw you out is a clear sign that he still lets his ex rule his life and that's not a place you want to be. I guarantee it. "Was I wrong??? I just don't think it's fair to ask me to perform motherly responsibilities when they are staying with us, but I have no say otherwise if it makes the ex angry. I feel that at least I am a good influence on their lives. The ex's bf is an abusive jerk who is definately involved in the kids lives...so how much room does she have to talk??" I don't think you were wrong to have an opinion about her grades and wanting to help her. You are a teacher and that was a positive. The fact that she would rather be jealous that it's coming from you because you are with him, is her problem. It only became your problem when he listened to her and threw you out. Do you think that if her teacher from school called and said what you did, she would have had a problem with it? I don't. "The 13 year old e-mailed me back and said she was trying in school but her homework is always late because she has practice right after school and then babysits for her little sister til 11pm when her mom finally comes home from work. Then she doesn't have time. I just don't feel she has her priorities straight. If she can't keep up with school work, then maybe she shouldn't be playing ball at school. And what is wrong with asking them to bring homework to our house on the weekends so I can help them??" If you are back with your BF, I wouldn't worry about it. If she asks for your help, offer it but for now, he hasn't put a ring on your finger and you are not responsible for his kids. You can be their friend and help if you want, but it's not the same as "mothering" although I think I know what you mean. When my kids were young, our house was where all the kids wanted to play because we had a pool. and I considered feeding or teaching them things, mothering. I heard the phrase "turf war" used and I agree, too many moms and step mom's get so far into a battle that the kids get sucked into a war zone. I don't see it too much with men but I'm sure that happens too. "I guess I just don't know how to disengage when I have to be a "parent" part of the time. If I am to be with my bf, i want to be a part of their lives too. And not just their friend. Am I in the wrong?? I feel he owes me an apology and needs to acknowledge what I do for his children. Is that wrong?? Please give me some advice because I am hurting right now and don't know where to go from here." You have to disengage until he marries you. Until he does that, you are nothing more than a friend to his kids. I would think hard and seriously before continuing to be with a guy that has already thrown you out and allows you to take care of his kids when he can't. To be honest, it sounds like you may have some "codependency" issues because you can't fix things, especially if your BF and his ex don't want you to. Why are you even bothering???