Stealing at school

18 years ago

This is really a whinge, just need to get it off my chest, but comments would be greatly appreciated.

My son was rather unhappy when I picked him up from school yestereday. He had just had a sport lesson, where the teacher had become annoyed with him because he wasn't wearing his hat. They must wear hats when in the sun.

When I got to the bottom of it all, (difficult as he is 15 !), it turns out there is a culture of stealing hats out of people's bags, by people who had forgotten their hats. This is what happened to my son. It has his name in it.

How is this best handled, by me. I am pretty cranky to know this is going on, as to replace the cap costs $20 and I am not happy to do this.

Ideally I would like the teacher to check the names on caps, in the class.

The problem is "trust". I want my son to be truthful to me about what goes on, but he does not want me to go and blab at school about it. I certainly do not want to betray his trust.

My plan is to have a quiet word to one of the teachers.

And not tell my son I did !

Is this a good idea, do you think ?

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Comments (7)

plasticgarden
18 years ago
Sure,I dont see the harm in that. I doubt the teacher will single your son out and say it was his hat that was stolen.

My daughter has had stuff stolen from school as well,although nothing that expensive. She came home from school and told me ALL of her pencils were taken.After I just bought dozens of them in September and it is only October!
I think it is just terrible that stealing is such an issue at schools anymore.
sc_gardener
18 years ago
I would definitely confront the principal (and let the teacher know after you talk to him, that you will talk to the principal) and let him know that this is an ongoing problem. They will deal with it hopefully. They need to know.
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I think the first thing I'd do in your situation is spend some serious time looking for the missing items, as you said, you're not sure they have been taken and merely may be misplaced. If the items have been misplaced rather than stolen and fingers have been pointed I think it will open the door for lots of hurt feeling and ongoing resentments. If not found, you might then gather all the kids and tell them what has been 'lost' and how important the items are to you and you'd like them to spend the morning helping you search for them. Not helping in search is not an option, search is required by all. If still not found or 'fessed up to, than on to any of your plan 'B' ideas. I once found one of my earrings in the deep freeze. Must have fallen out when I was half in and digging. My cat has carried little jewerly items off to play with (fun to scoot across the kitchen floor until lost under the stove) and when my oldest kids where in high school the DD28 had a friend over that helped herself to a bottle of perfume when the guest friend used the bathroom (the girl returned it after asked if she's seen it the next time she came over). Just tread easy till you're certain the girl has actually taken or hide the items.
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kioni
18 years ago
What a shame this happens. And the way you describe it as 'culture' it must be the in thing to do? And yet...it is stealing. Adults (most anyway) wouldn't dream of wearing someone else's coat home at the end of the day, or eating a lunch that wasn't theirs (did happen at one of my workplaces though, the culprit was in her 50's and had to be told to her face by management to leave other people's lunch food alone!). Frustrating, most workplaces have guidelines set up for some of the negative behaviors that can almost run rampant in the schools. I agree, the teacher/principal must be informed. Sounds like the parents of many children need to enforce manners and rules a little more stringently also? Good Luck Popi.
bnicebkind
18 years ago
I actually just heard the same thing on the radio to a call in talk show psychologist. The only difference is that the child was a girl, and it was $40 gloves being stolen. The mom had called the coach, several times about the problem. The coach did not do anything about it, so she went to the principal. The coach then called her and was angry with her for going to the principal. It turned into a bad relationship between the coach and the mom, and nothing was resolved in this case. The mom would not let this thing go.

The psychologist told her she should have let it go before it got to this point, and to tell her kid to keep her stuff "zipped inside" the backpack/sportsbag, instead of laying around.

Most teachers/coaches will "not" appreciate the type of parent who immediately goes over his head. Would you?
popi_gw
Original Author
18 years ago
Thanks for the comments, guys.

I will go through with my plan. I will choose my words.

I think its disgraceful that this stealing goes on, the utter disrespect shown to other students belongings, is just a symptom of a general malaise in society. I feel its necessary for me to take a stand as we all should.

I agree, sometimes you must let things go and also make sure you protect (and empower your children to do so), yourself from pilfering from others.

Thanks again for the comments.

POPI
plasticgarden
18 years ago
Good luck Popi! Let us know how it goes...
mom2emall
18 years ago
P.S. make sure to tell the coach that you do not want your child to know you called....sometimes coaches and teachers accidently mention speaking to moms in conversation with students.

Stealing at school

Comments (7)

plasticgarden

sc_gardener

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Stealing at school

Comments (7)

plasticgarden

sc_gardener

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kioni

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