I'm so sorry for the grief and stress you've felt throughout this time. You've done a kindness -don't forget that. It was difficult, but you did it because you loved Keo and wanted her to stop hurting. I've had to do it a number of times, and it's always so incredibly difficult, and always followed by weeks of melancholy. But I've never regretted it. Right now I know of a kitty, about 17 years old, who weighs about 3 lbs., and is truly suffering every day from many ailments. Her owners believe they'll 'know' when the time is right to put her down, but to everyone else, it looks like the time is right here, right now, and we feel such sorrow and pity for this poor, frail, hurting kitty..... You did the right thing. I don't know whether you're familiar with this poem, or whether it will resonate with you, but I thought I'd pass it on... The Last Battle If it should be that I grow frail and weak And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then will you do what must be done, For this " the last battle" can't be won. You will be sad I understand, But don't let grief then stay your hand, For on this day, more than the rest, Your love and friendship must stand the test. We have had so many happy years, You wouldn't want me to suffer so. When the time comes, please, let me go. Take me to where to my needs they'll tend, Only, stay with me till the end And hold me firm and speak to me Until my eyes no longer see. I know in time you will agree It is a kindness you do to me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I have been saved. Don't grieve that it must be you Who has to decide this thing to do; We've been so close "we two" these years, Don't let your heart hold any tears. - Unknown

stinky - Late to the thread as usual, but agree that you are a very compassionate and caring person. Compassion, and emotion, are more times felt by others, but not communicated in person to a friend who is grieving. It is so hard to visit someone who has suffered a loss as is the case with your neighbors. Many people aren't comfortable with displaing emotions, and I think it is very telling of your capacity for just reacting in a "real" expression of sympathy upon seeing your friends whose baby passed. I encourage you to attend the funeral if you are able. Not sure about the meds, but if you need them, and your PCP will prescribe an rx, it may help. The one thing that shook my tree when attending the childbirth classes during my pregnancy was that the facilitator used a chalkboard to write everything all of the couples were expecting when their baby-to-be arrived. Not one couple had any expectation of anything other than a great result, babe in arms, nursing, losing sleep, etc. It wasn't until the facilitator brought the loss of the impending child as an outcome, that a palpable hush came over that room. Well, when my own DD was born she was very, very ill. It took about 24 hrs. to pinpoint the problem, and another month to actually put a severity diagnosis on it. I can't tell you how much I appreciated all of my family, friends, collegues, etc. who stood with me, holding my hand, praying, sitting with me, while we awaited her prognosis. Thankfully, the form of her disease is less of an immediate death sentence. However, it is so difficult as a new mom & dad to deal with a health issue in your newborn. It is painful, but to lose a child that you've grown inside your body, given birth to, ugh, I cannot even fathom. I can't imagine what your friends are going through, but I do believe that your honest reaction to the death of their cherished baby upon visiting them was very much appreciated. Have to say it took extreme sympathy for you to take them the tray and see them in person. You could have easily just sent an order to be delivered by a delivery person with no interaction or any connection at all with the grieving parents. No, I don't think you should be at all embarassed by your emotion. This young couple WILL always remember your compassion in a positive way. polly - you are amazing. The hospital staff that cared for my DD as a newborn was wonderful and I did write the team a note of appreciation. It takes special people to work in a NICU, and you are so well suited. Your actions in the situation of holding that baby while she left this world, speak volumes at to why you should be doing just what you are as your profession. As you well know, when a newborn is ill and transported to a major children's hospital for specialized care, it is tough for the first time new mom to be at the hospital 24/7 immediately after giving birth. We moms who face that are comforted by caregivers in those hospitals who, like you, care deeply for your littlest patients. Fortunately, many parents never need to rely on the care of a NICU physician, nurse, or other member of the NICU teams who care for our babies while we are showering and trying our best to get back to the hospital to be with our sick babies. Prayers for your friends and hugs to you stinky.

Enjoyingspring, you could have been talking about my son. I would breastfeed him every 2 hours but he was very fussy and always seemed hungry in between. As he got older, it got worse - especially if I was the one holding him (perhaps he could smell the milk on me??). Although I am a firm advocate for breastfeeding, I just didn't think he was getting what he needed so I very wearily stopped breastfeeding and started formula. I continued to pump, just in case he had a bad reaction and I could go back to the breastfeeding, but he THRIVED on the formula. He no longer was fussy between feedings and he was so content. AND he finally slept. Maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't think my breast milk agreed with him...

I agree with the NOT whipping the furbabies. They don't understand why they are being hit and it only makes them afraid and doesn't TEACH them anything. I understand the frustration owners feel at times but you have to keep your head- correct them and then go to another place and scream or hit something like a pillow. YAY! I know the good feeling of having your pup come back. It makes all of the hours of training and frustration worth it. I am so glad there are so many great pet parents that take time to train. Some people just don't have the patience to deal with them. Keep up the good work!