I got that email the other day, and I was mildly surprised at how someone could snoop on another person without them knowing it. I knew that they could listen in while you were on a call, but that's all I knew. I didn't know they could listen in when you weren't even on the phone. I know three people who have scanners, who listen for emergency activity (fire/police /ambulance), but a couple of them also listen in on phone calls (portable phones). This is a small community, and sometimes they know the people they are listening to, and sometimes they don't. One of the people (I really don't care for her), found out a policeman was having an affair, and even though she didn't know him, she found out who his wife was, and went to his wife and told her. Btw... she had an affair herself, not too much later.

I have t-mobile, I called them up to complain, and they helped me online to completely block emails in "my settings". Since I blocked our e-mail, I still get text from my kids, and DH and NO ONE else. Most of the spam text are actually emails according to t-mobile and not text messages. What really bugs me is why the carriers don't send out a letter with the bill and say this is happening and how to stop it! Kathy

"the child may very well not ask to speak to his mom because he knows there is a rule that he can only speak to her once a day around bedtime" Nope, not the case. Unlike BM, my DH is the caring and rational parent who has his son's best interest at heart. He would never, EVER tell SS "you are only allowed to talk to your mom once a day."" SS just gets busy living with US and doesn't seem to think of talking to mom. Much like when he is with BM, he doesn't call DH except in the evening, close to bedtime I think Marie you are attributing qualities your 11 year old DD has, and comparing them to a 7 year old boy. Sorry, but boys don't seem to like to "chat" on the phone as much as girls do. I can already see that diff. between my DD and SS. Also, a 7 yr old is really not "into" talking on the phone much yet. Maybe when SS gets older, he will want to talk to BM or his dad more often---but for now, it is simply not an issue. I think you are giving the BM in my situation way too much credit here. She is not the caring, "involved" parent you are describing. I could go on and on about the times she has continually NOT put her child first. She with-held visitation for THREE WEEKS last summer because she was pissy w/my DH for taking her to court. DH talked to SS on the phone throughout the weeks sporadically, and SS sobbed one of the times, crying that he wasn't "allowed" to see dad. AWFUL. Many times now when his mom calls now he asks his dad if BM is fighting. Slowly but surely, he is begining to see his mom is WACKY. It's to the point that SS tries to listen in on DH's phone convos b/c he thinks BM is causing problems. Last week, BM called him, and at the end, she asked SS to put his dad on the phone, and SS said "no because I'm afraid you're going to get mad at him." He knows. This woman is irrational and insane. She sent her current DH to the hospital last winter b/c she got drunk, and ripped the phone off the wall, and chucked it at his head---he had to get stitches. The year before last, she was fighting w/her DH, and I guess he stormed out of the house, and IN FRONT OF HER SON AND HER STEPDAUGHTER, she took a KNIFE to the blow-up Frosty the Snowman in their front yard. SS "laughs" about it occasionally, but DH and I both know it's a defense mechanism. Talk about terrifying for a child---to see a parent that out of control. Last Christmas Eve--it was DH's night, but BM begged him to let her have SS until Christmas morning. DH consented. Well, guess what SS did that night? He spent the evening w/his stepdad at his stepdad's parents' house while BM stayed home gettgin plastered. She called my DH and me a gazillion times, sobbing about how she wanted a divorce, hated her life, etc. Nice, huh? You can sit there all you want and say that she is a caring, involved mother. Yeah, she loves her son, I will give you that--but she is an alcoholic with serious mental issues. We will do what we have to do to protect OUR FAMILY from her behavior and her antics. A direct line of communication to SS is not needed and actually, is very detrimental to our family. And, truth be told, to SS. DH wishes BM had LESS influence over him than she already does. Unfortunately, until she really screws up, joint custody will continue---but that does not mean BM needs to be in constant communication w/their son on his father's time. The woman has some serious issues, and everyone knows it---the former GAL, the current GAL, the judge, our attorney, and heck, even BM's own family knows it. We have a letter ON FILE in our court case from BM's cousin stating that she has a serious drinking problem. If we ever go to trial, this cousin will testify on our behalf.

With regard to being on call 24/7 ... ... I wonder, " ... freedom with strings ...", is different from a shorter, simpler expression like, " ... leash ..." in what way, precisely? In earlier times, when many people whose work involved them moving over substantial areas often carried pagers, and these days when many carry cell phones, I sometimes comment(ed) that, "I noticed that you have your leash on today", and when they looked at me quizzically, or asked what I meant, when I'd just point to the pager/cell phone ... ... they knew exactly what I was talking about - and quite a few of them agreed, some with a bit of a wry smile or regretful expression, that that's about what it was/is. ole joyful P.S. Son and friend, whom I've carted around to fairs, festivals, Santa Claus parades, etc. to blow up their ballon hats, animals, swords, etc. for kids' entertainment ... ... gave me a cell for Christmas. That, as I live alone and, though landlord often comes into the yard, isn't aware of whether I'm mobile ... or lying ill (dead?) on the floor ... they are concerned that it might well be a safety link, as well. Set up as son's Mom Sue's was - low maintenance charge, high fees for more than minimal minutes of usage per month. Can you imagine ole joyful being (relatively) speechless? Talk about discomfort ... even torture! That said - I'm more inclined to talk to people face to face than on the phone. o j