It is so hard at that age. When they get older, they know it's coming, too, and can get to the toilet. But toddlers/preschoolers, it just spews wherever they are! They don't understand, they just see/feel their body doing something very scary and painful. It's hard. Poor Grant! I'm glad he got his rest and is getting back to himself. The worst night I had was when #4 was about 18 mos, which made the others 3, 6, and 9 at the time. About 4am one of them woke up sick, threw up, about the time I had that one settled back down in clean sheets the next one woke up and threw up. And it continued until all 4 of them had thrown up 3-4 times. It was just constant well into the next afternoon. At first I thought I must have fed them all something bad and went through the kitchen trying to consider the possible problem, but some friends reported the same bug with their kids and DH and I avoided it. Oh, the laundry! Every blanket, sheet, pillowcase, and big beach towel in the house was a mess. I think I avoided that one somehow. A little girl on DD's gymnastic's team was sick (nauseous, didn't throw up yet) this weekend at while at the gym. Her mom warmed up Sprite in the microwave for the girl to sip before she took her home. She said it works for her kids every time.

Webegardnr ... I commend you and wish you much future happiness. I think BM getting along with Dad and SM is of vital importance. You have been able to negotiate a most difficult situation. Canine, if BM is a psycho now - just wait. It will get worse. Or perhaps, she is upset because her still married husband is seeing someone else. (That would make any woman psycho). That will also set the stage for her hating you forever because if she is in a situation where she was thinking she get get him back if you weren't in the picture - you will always be considered the villain and the tug of war will last forever. If you listen to statistics ... only about 30-35% of second marriages succeed. Childless second marriages fair much better. Its easy to see why. You are 38 yourself, so you are not a child and hopefully know yourself well enough to know if you are strong enough to handle what's ahead. If you have feelings of jealousy now - its not a good sign. You should resolve that now. I, for one, could never be a step mom. When a child comes into your home, you have to understand that it is much different than a child of your own that you raised for 10 years with your rules and expectations and desired behavior (even then - its dicey-LOL). Different people value different characteristics and have different disciplinary expectations. For example ... my sister in law is a finger print maniac. Don't ever ever touch the switchplate in her home when you turn on the light ... or use the wall to balance yourself going up the staircase. She is raising 7 children that know it is better to roll down the stairs than to use the wall next to the staircase to brace yourself against a fall. However, these same kids think nothing of riding their bikes over neighbors lawns, the 17 year old is allowed to go to drinking parties, etc. Definitely different priorities than in my home. Ok ... how do you take a child from one environment and have him fit well into a totally different one for 4 days a month. Its tough. I love children. I was a a Girl Scout Leader for 11 years, worked in elementary school, etc. I have dealt with some very difficult children, but ..... there were some that I was so happy to say goodbye to after being with them for 2 hours that I literally did the dance of joy!!! As much as I love children, I could never be a stepmother. What goes on in a workplace is different than coming home and having to deal with it. My home is my refuge. The only place I can control to suit me. My little world. Don't let me scare you away from this relationship, if you know in your heart that you can handle it and do whatever is in the best interest of the child (not you). That child will always be number 1 in many situations. If you think you could be a step- mom , that child could also be the greatest gift of your life in the long run. Step parenting is like a mine field from what I have read here. My sister is now going through a divorce after a very long marriage and we were laughing about her prospects of her finding a man with no baggage ... ex wives, children, ill parents living with him,addictions, incarcerations, nasty habits etc, etc !!! She knows that she could not handle children - adult or otherwise and would never attempt it. My brother has a wonderful girlfriend that chooses not to marry him until his 5 children are grown for several reasons. She is accustomed to her place being hers. (We get that way when we're a little long in the tooth). She also does not want to have her income pay for child support and other children's needs (which it would in the state in which they live). They have been together for 7 years now and when the youngest is 18 in about 5 years, they plan to marry and have a place of their own. She actually gets along very well with his children and they adore her, but she know she does not want to be a mother again, nor share her home with children. That doesn't make her bad. It means she's smart enough to know her own limitations and not get herself into a situation she doesn't want to handle. (She is so sweet I know she could handle it if she wanted to, but why add stress to your life). We had our first child after 12 years of marriage when I was on the shady side of 32 and it was a major (I am talking major) adjustment from the self absorbed life we had led as a couple to having to meet someone else's needs 24/7. Mine are in their teens now and believe it or not ... those younger years were the piece of cake. Our daughter just got her driver's license and we purchased a used car for her (12k), insurance costs 216 per month until she's 21, homecoming cost $500, senior year photos $860, and all that I give willingly because she's my angel .... the part I can't handle is the waiting for her to get home safely, the dating scene (quite a bit different than I was last out there in 1972), worrying about college acceptance, life choices, future plans, broken hearts, etc. I can see that I will be on prozac soon. Our son has completely different sets of problems (broken arm in football), doctor appointments that never end, driving to and picking up from football every single day (twice a day in the summer),miserable Spanish teacher, driver's ed, legs that grown an inch a week, a room that reeks of teenage boy smell no matter how clean it looks (what is that anywyas?). Its something you do gladly and willingly, do without financially, emotionally and logistically because they are your world. Could I do that for a child that I didn't raise - I don't think so. If you can, your rewards will be many or if you can't follow through with this relationship - it can be a living hell. Depends also on the Dad (your BF) and how willing he will be to support your needs as a Step Mom. Whatever you choose - much luck. Its not easy to make a rational choice when your heart is clouding your brain.

cdngirl: I just read back through canine's post "BF has child, I have none-help with nerves" and saw your message: > My BF is amazing, and I told him thatI didn't want to meet his son unless he was "ring-on-the-finger" serious. That was only 6 weeks ago, but then we are in our late 30's and both about to finalize divorces, so if he's sure..I know I am... Er...please don't be offended, but this sounds rather ill-advised. Both the not-meeting-the-kid, and the deciding-to-get-married-after-6-weeks. The thing is, this may sound kind of old fashioned but when you marry somebody, you're marrying their situation and you're marrying their whole family. Including the problems. Especially the problems. > this could be the big "test" though...what do you think? I think that's a contender for understatement of the year. The younger the kid is when a step parent waltzes on to the scene, the easier it is for the step. At 3 or 4, the kid's still young enough to be easily disciplined, and I've read that even up to age 5 or so children often bond very well with the step. At 1 or 2, the kid will probably see no diff between the step and the real parent -- depending on the specifics of the situation of course. My 3 year old SS was a cakewalk -- my 9 year old SD and 13 year old SS on the other hand were not cakewalks. My advice to you: * do background research on the web about the sorts of behaviors that you can expect from kids post-divorce, and entering into a step situation. * ask your SO what sorts of things his kid is interested in, and do research into that -- not necessarily to cram fun down his throat, but to have points of reference -- and to find out if his personality is drastically different than yours. If you think it doesn't matter, check out mom-2-4's posts. * Ask your SO ALL about his SS, particularly if he has any wacky kinds of personality traits -- gird your loins. Before somebody jumps down my throat, either my partner failed to mention it, or she did and I just plain forgot when I met her, but my SD tends to lie. Quite a lot. I can understand it, knowing the family situation she's in with her BD, but I wasn't aware of it when we met, which lead to...situations. * even with the 3 above points, try to give the kid the benefit of the doubt, because kids are perceptive and kids are smart. They just lack vocab, and social embarrasment/guilt. * DON'T GET MARRIED RIGHT AWAY. Kids in a step or divorce situation are on a slow timescale. I would personally give it 2 years of constant contact, before you really know where you stand, but don't do anything for at least 6 months. My advice, anyway. As far as what do 10 year olds like to do -- try Warhammer, D&D, playing catch (baseball & frisbee), amusement parks, miniature golf, having books recommended to them (Henry Reed, My Side of the Mountain, House with the Clock in its Walls, 3 Investigators), watching cartoons, watching shoot-em-up sci fi (best of all -- Aliens 2), playing video games, riding bikes, going hiking. Or at least, that's what *I* liked at 10.

I did this rather fast. My thought was he's graduating on to a big boy bed, but I personally would not want to over do this stage as you will need to add/eliminate in a handful of years vs. change it completely. The, "planets" in the corner are from Party City (11.00) and are named BLAST OFF PLANET LANTERNS. I would buy two sets and make them a pinch closer together than what I captured from their site using a fine clear like fishing line and if the ceiling is white a clear or white thumb tack. Vary the heights and as I recall the largest is 16" in diameter so if you purchase 2 sets you can use another couple to make it nice in the corner of the room where maybe a bean bag and a storage area with things he might want to play with are beneath them. Either way I think hanging them in the room is very fun and colorful and plays well with the comforter even if there is not room to add a piece with some storage as shown and a bean bag below in the corner. A child size bean bag is easy to find and little kids love them. I do like the stripe black out curtains... you may thing they are busy? As for sheets... I'd just do a solid using a color from the comforter as more stars or galaxy type things would be too much. The decal on the wall above the bed is very nice for his graduating to the big bed. You can pick your colors and it's from Etsy. I was leaning toward yellow things due to the gray walls. I jotted down the name of the maker if you are interested. The little rocket next to the bed is a lava lamp...no, not a lot of light, but not sure how he is with the dark and one can easily sleep with it on and so thought of that...there are other ones with shades with a motif similar to space out there though. I'm not sure if there is a ceiling light in the room? All in all, I think with the planets at varying heights and a pinch closer together and maybe 7 of them (?) depending on the size of the room... either way, putting them a pinch closer together varying heights you might want another 2 if you like them and the corner can accommodate or maybe a large single 16" in a different spot. I didn't select a rug for under the bed as I didn't know if you needed such. Just some thoughts for you to consider and all very reasonably done too. Apologies it's not to scale, but it was for you to see them all together. Talk later and if you hate something, that's ok... just say what you might prefer... Best, Porter