I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear mother and for all the suffering she experienced. Please don't fuss over the things you said to your mother--she loved you dearly and knew you loved her. Focus more on the good things and good times you remember about your mother because they are more important than things said on one day. You are grieving, and it is a long, slow process. Anger is a natural part of the grieving, so don't be surprised that you are angry about something or at someone. I strongly encourage to call your church or local hospital to ask about a grief counseling group. I know this will be difficult to do, but please, please give it a try. If you don't like it you don't have to go back. My mother has been gone 8 years now. I continue to miss her, but the pain is gentler now. Just sadness. Nearly everyone feels this way over time about our mothers. But know you will get through this, but this is the hard time. Let us know how you are doing.

I am glad I found this site, to see that others feel the same as I do. I lost my mother last week, she passed away Feb 27, 2013 at the age of 65. My mother was my soul mate, she was my best friend and recently she felt like a daughter. I miss the sparkle in her eyes. She had been ill for about 8 years, on and off, and each time she seemed to get better. She always had such a great attitude and sense of humor. I thought she would get better this time too. I was her caretaker, along with my father for the last 2 years. Before that I worked with her and saw her every day. I have seen her or talked to her every day of my life. I am only 30 years old and I always thought I would have her around for another 20. I still feel like a child, and without her I feel lost. I don't have children yet, and I know that when I do it will be bitter-sweet because she is not here. The pain I feel is very intense and I am exhausted, I have only begun grieving and I wonder when it will end (but I see now that it never will). I am not sure what to make of all these strange feelings. A week before she passed away, angels came to me and told me that she would feel better by the end of the following week. Even though my interpretation was wrong, they were right, she does feel better. Since her passing she has been talking to me and that is a huge comfort, she tells me she is happy and that she will always be by my side. She tells me she is excited to meet her grandchildren. She has been telling me not to wait to live my life anymore, to have fun. She also said to think of her transition as a long vacation, we will see each other again when my flight lands. My story is so similar to all the others I have read, so I am sure your mothers are by your sides helping and guiding you through your lives. Talk to your mothers because they hear you and the love they feel for you is pure.

lee676, What I am about to tell you is going to sound a little unconventional, but because your experiences and symptoms are almost identical to mine, I would be very interested in talking to you directly. From what youve written here so far, I am almost certain your problems are much less associated with the serious mental illnesses you describe than you think. I too struggled mightily with irregular sleeping patterns, opiate dependency, ADD, back pain  the whole gamut. Every one of the problems youÂve described is related. I do believe you have a touch of an anxiety disorder, combined with a tremendous amount of repressed stress. The memory loss is almost certainly a byproduct of continued opiate use. Find yourself a doctor to prescribe "Subutex" or "Suboxone", and get off of that stuff as soon as you are able. It ainÂt easy, I know it  but these medications will elminate the physical withdrawal symptoms. The best way to rid yourself of anxiety (you will certainly sleep better when you do) is through education. All of the therapy in the world will get you nowhere unless you learn all about the physiology behind the disorder, why it happens, what is actually happening to your body, and the toughest one  why. I was able to overcome a severe panic disorder with these tools alone, and able to rid myself of back pain forever through the work of Dr. John Sarno. He has written several books on the subject, with the latest titled "The Divided Mind". IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE, READ THIS BOOK. You have nothing to lose but $12 on Amazon or Half.com. It will change your life, and you will see yourself on every page. I too had a zillion half-finished projects  everything you described. It is all attributed to repressed stress. Once you learn to "think psychologically" and discover all of the reasons your mind is causing these problems, you will be able to quickly rid yourself of nearly all of your symptoms. I am not affiliated with this doctor in any way; I am just one of the thousands of patients that have benefited from his work. It is written in laymans terms, and you donÂt need a psychology degree to apply his theories. Reducing sugar, nicotine (all stimulants), improving your diet and exercising regularly are of course all-important pieces to the puzzle. Your mind cannot be healthy without the rest of your body in balance. The interesting part you will discover, if you read his book, is that the mind plays tricks on your body  when there are particular experiences your subconscious mind does not want to deal with, it will use a "triggerÂ, and take a past injury or malady that can mask the new physical symptoms that develop. Why is it that we accept life-long back injuries, but expect a broken arm to heal up, good as new? The back-pain industry is HUGE  and has become almost fashionable. Your pain and psychological symptoms are very real; but they are rooted in the psychological. Investigate this  you will find the solution. Please feel free to write me privately if you would like to learn more. devilz67

I have recently been diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder This is how it goes... I decide to do work on the car, start to the garage and notice the mail on the table. OK, I'm going to work on the car... BUT FIRST I'm going to go through the mail. Lay car keys down on desk. While discarding the junk mail, I notice the trash can is full. OK, I'll just put the bills on my desk.... BUT FIRST I'll take the trash out, but since I'm going to be near the mailbox, I'll address a few bills.... Yes, Now where is the checkbook? Oops..there's only one check left. Where did I put the extra checks? Oh, there is my empty plastic cup from last night on my desk. I'm going to look for those checks... BUT FIRST I need to put the cup back in the kitchen. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice the flowers need a drink of water, I put the cup on the counter and there's my extra pair of glasses on the kitchen counter. What are they doing here? I'll just put them away... BUT FIRST I need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! someone left the TV remote on the wrong spot. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants... BUT FIRST I need to find those checks. END OF DAY: Oil in car not changed, trash not emptied, bills still unpaid, cup still on the counter, glasses still on the counter, checkbook still has only one check left, plants not watered, lost my car keys, . . . . where's the TV remote? . . . And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because... I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious... I'd better get help... BUT FIRST...I think I'll check my e-mail. Who was I going to send this to???