cheryl why not check with school nurse? they might have a suggested reading list if his school has a sex education class.

hey did a quick search and found this, at amazon. scroll down for other choices...

Here is a link that might be useful: http://www.amazon.com/Education-Dictionary-Todays-Teens-Pre-Teens/dp/0962420905

This one is written for 9 to 12 year olds... basic information with line drawings. Asking About Sex and Growing Up: A Question-and-Answer Book for Boys and Girls. I gave this to DD when she was around 10 (she's 20 now). Used copies are available at amazon (probably ebay too).

When I was in sixth grade, my mother gave ne a booklet "Growing Up and Liking Liking It." It wasn't about sex, it was about getting your period. I asked Mom about growing up, do I get to carry a purse? And she just laughed. My girlfriends later drew me a picture showing what sex is. I found myself staring at boys crotches for weeks! My kids learned about sex in "health" class in middle school, around sixth or seventh grade. When it came time for "the Talk" they already knew everything!

We don't use books...I save the books for school..Our school district does a very "simple" learning series in 5th grade..they separate the boys from the girls, give them a little "puberty pack" and give them general body changing information.

Both my boys that went through it so far..loved their little deodorants and things. LOL

And then in Health 7 or 8th grade is the "sex education" part.

I've talked to my boys very openly since before it was necessary.

And asking the child if they have any questions..you are likely to get the answer "no"....even though they do.

And are you sure the child would read it? I think a very general discussion about hygiene and sexual safety are a great place to start.

I think talking openly with kids is better than a book.

I agree talking is better.
My 8 yr old step grandaughter asked me last week if calves come from a cows butt?
well....her grandpa wasn't gonna bite at all so I simply told her no, a calf comes from the birth canal which is right beside the butt.
That seemed to be enough for now...
a 13 year old boy will need more than that, but talking will get him to ask questions in the open where a book may still make it seem taboo to discuss out loud.

I purchased The Period Book: Everything You Don't Want to Ask (But Need to Know, Karen Gravelle (Author) for my granddaughter and it answered questions that she hadn't thought of. This is the one for boys.

Here is a link that might be useful: What's Going on Down There?: Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask

I still think giving a book is a good idea. Most kids aren't going to ask all the questions they need/want answered. A book they can refer to when they need to. I do still think parents should communicate openly about sex with their children. The book I refered to above has some things in it I would find embarrassing to have talked about with my preteen child and I'm sure she'd have never asked me about them... but instead might go to a friend who might give her inaccurate information.

Not saying the Asking ABout Sex book is the best book on the subject... it's just the one I happened to purchase.

Thanks everyone. This is a grandson that is living with us. He isn't asking questions. We have noticed in casual talks that he has no clue about the difference between boys and girls. He hasn't had any topics of any sort in school. I'm thinking about a book, not so much really that he would have to read, but to help me discuss things that I'm concerned he dosen't know...Of course it would be wonderful if he wanted to read it.
Most of my concerns came about when he made statements about the livestock here. He is learning alot about animal breeding/and the many terms that are associated with them, etc. But is lost when we talk about human behavior.
I had plans to check with the school during parent/teacher conference about when and if they teach this and if so what age frame, but it was cancelled because of the weather.
I will check out the few books recommended here.

Well, since he is aware of livestock and what they do, I would probably have a talk with him and tell him that all mammals are the same, and while I was at it, I would tell about fish, frogs, etc.

I told my daughter...and there was a little book that I read to her when she was about two years old. I don't know. To me, it is just easier having the talk when they are very, very young, and I just told her very matter of factly...no embarassment...just like I was telling her about anything else.

I was 10 years old when a neighbor kid told me the facts of life...and I was horrified. I think the earlier you tell them, the better, and you can stress your own ideas of love, commitment and later on, birth control, stds, etc. I just wanted to make sure no one else told her before I did.

If you wait very long, some other kid will tell them, and you don't want their misinformation and ideas to superscede your own.

I agree with others that say talking is better than books. Teri said it well.

During those casual talks when you notice his lack of knowledge would be a good time to start a conversation.

If he goes to school he must have heard something by this time. He's not asking questions because he doesn't know there are questions to be asked if no one has ever talked to him about sex.

Is he showing signs of puberty yet or is he a late developer? I'm pretty sure some of his classmates already have girlfriends.

I don't have any suggestion to offer, in that mine are now in their forties (with no grandkids).

I have thought for years, though, that there must be a streak of humour in the mind? heart? of the Great Architect of the World ... Universe ... Galaxies ...

...to arrange it that animals produce their waste and the next generation from the same gateway!

Do you figure that we might have built a relationship from early on, to give us an affinity for waste - to encourage us to be so wasteful?

Or was it mainly the marketers ... trying to get us to buy more stuff?

Jes' wonderin'

ole joyful

I bought a great book for my son (don't recall the name though - that was a good many years ago) and he and I read it and discussed it together. It had drawings showing the genitals for the different stages of puberty, which he was very interested in. We used the book for a couple of years, if I recall directly, looking back every once in a while to see what 'stage' he was in at the time. Seems like we started reading it when he was about 10. He's 28 now :-)

wildchild...he is JUST starting to show signs of puberty, I over heard him telling grandpa he has a couple hairs on his private and wanted to know why they were there. Grandpa told him why he has them...It is now to the point where it is a verbal annoucement when he get another one! I feel embarrased about it when I hear him talk/bragging and just act like I didn't hear him. I told DH to have a talk with him about talking about that around girls/grandmas. Not sure if he is hearing things in school yet, I would think he is but that is another problem...he has no friends. This child is VERY immature. Reminder...this is my grandchild, not my son. I never had anything like this with my kids, they were taught way before they heard about it from school or friends.

Cheryl - I have the book Lydia is talking about - Asking About Sex and Growing Up. I would be glad to send it to you. My kids are in their late teens now. Let me know if you want it. You can email me at angelarchristensen@comcast.net.

Thanks Angela, you have mail

One book I'd recommend is Judy Blume's "Then Again, Maybe I Won't." I learned about it when I was in law school. I had a much younger brother and a fairly elderly father, and I knew he'd never talk to my brother. I asked some male friends if there was a book they'd recommend.

I was with three men, and they all started talking about this book enthusiastically. Even more amazing, men around us (we were at a bar) overheard and chimed in.

It doesn't deal with the ABC's of sex differences and reproductive systems. It's written from the perspective of a 13-year-old boy who's going through puberty, having untimely erections and suddenly noticing the neighbor girl.

It's more the kind of book that shows a boy he's not alone, and that what he's going through is normal. Plus, it's hilarious. I've given it to a few of my friends' sons, and my friends report that it's one book the boys actually read, and often returned to.

It might open up some conversations, too.

My DS grew up knowing that women and girls had periods, cramps and PMS. When he got older and had a girlfriend that needed sanitary supplies, he didn't mind running to the grocery or drug store for her. He said it didn't embarrass him. Funny thing, when he was growing up I was never embarrassed to talk with him about birth control, STDs or whatever. Now that he is grown, we were watching a TV program while he was visiting and he asked me how long it took for a woman's uterus to go back into shape after a baby is born. His guess was one week and I said it was closer to 6 weeks or more. I didn't feel all that comfortable now talking with him about it.

Linda my DS was the same. I had no problem even when he was a toddler asking him to bring mommy her box of sanitary napkin from the linen closet. When he was 11 he asked me to look at a spot he was concerned about on his privates. We have always treated all parts of our bodies and their functions equally.

During puberty the kids got a little more reticent about discussing things of that nature and more private about their bodies so I respected that.I was glad I'd given them a good background. As they hit their mid teens they were ready to talk again.

I remember buying What's Happening to Me? and there is a companion book too that is more detailed with reproduction, I believe.