My aunt died Feb 8th and the memorial was last wednesday.I mailed a sympathy card to her kids last thursday.I really don't think there is a right or wrong time.

The point is to let them know you're thinking of them,and sending condolences.
Kathi

Why would you wait? This is the time of their deepest grief over the loss, the time when they need comforting and to know others care. I think now is a fine time to send a card.

Unless you are in touch with them often, it would be nice to check in on the family again in a few months just to see how things are going. Call or send a "thinking of you" card then. Maybe that plan would make your husband happy.

Actually, I think it would be a bit odd to send the cards in a couple months. The only time I would do that is if I just found out about the death.

How about "Honey, the only way it would be too soon, would be if DU were still alive."
(not meaning disrespect.)
The cards that come later will be from people who are far away, or not as close to the family and have learned of DU's passing after the funeral.
If you wait too long, it will seem like an afterthought.

I agree with gardenspice.

Linda

Those left behind, need all of the comfort & solace they can get. The first couple weeks-when the bereaved are alone-no doubt they'll read their cards over & over again-to know that others care. Send the cards now and in a month from now when the real lonliness sets in-a phone call each month just to check in with them..would be a very kind gesture on your part.

LOL at GardenSpice's joke, but she and others are right. Let hubby know I work in the funeral business and suggest doing it now. Later on is the time to pay a visit to let them know you are still thinking of them, but they don't a card to remind them that late in the healing process.

I'm wondering why you are sending a card to the aunt and cousins. Had he no closer relations? Wife? Child(ren)? Grandchildren? Parent? Sibling?

I know when our son died, it really helped to get the sympathy cards each day......and we cherished the ones with shared memories of Scott.
You did right, Deb.
You can send them a thinking of you card, later. Those meant a lot, too.

My mother just died on Thanksgiving night.

Most of the cards we got arrived within the first 2 weeks. That's the time you want your friends and family letting you know you're in their thoughts. Once you get past the funeral, and are starting to try to move on, getting a card kind of throws you back into that period of high grief, and while you appreciate it, it sort of pulls you down and depress you all over again.

I've always sent sympathy cards within the week of the death--assuming I find out about it right away. The only way I think you would send a card much later would be if you didn't learn of the death until much later.

Bestlawn,
The Aunt, Cousins thing confused me at first too, but it was a Dear Uncle who passed, so the Dear Aunt and Dear Cousins of the Dear Husband ARE the wife and kids or the Dear Uncle.

I was wondering because she said "his Aunt and his two cousins" talking about the uncle. But I see you're right that she's talking about hubby, so that would be DH's aunt and two cousins. Thanx for correcting me.

Thanks all for mostly agreeing with me! Sorry if I confused some, but is was DH's uncle and I feel as thou we attended
the viewing and funeral that sympathy cards mean alot to cherish down the long sorrow road to Dh's Aunt and DH's cousins.
Again, Thank You All.
Deb

DO it now!!! If I received a sympathy card 2 months after the fact I'd wonder why....unless the person didn't know of the passing earlier. A follow up in a couple of months would be nice.

I'm another saying send it now! Only send them well after the passing if that is when you find out about it. I had a friend who months after the fact, told me about her mother passing, so that is when I sent her a card. She really appreciated it then, also, but also understood why I sent it then, not at the time of passing. We hadn't had a chance to speak to each other in almost two years, is why I hadn't heard sooner. They live a distance from us so it wasn't in our paper.

Tami