Afternoon coffee break (besides it is raining) So I've gotten most of the driveway garden cleaned out and we ordered our composted manure this morning from HD. They will deliver 3 pallets on Monday AM. Half of one pallet is for my next door neighbors but the other 150 bags are mine. te he! (6,000 pounds!!! maybe I won't have to lift weights next week. LOL) V, I'm so sorry I missed the mating dance of the Whooping Cranes on your front lawn. That must have been amazing to see!!! And those Ivory billed Hummingbirds were here also. They stopped in to feed at my fuchsia that are in full bloom hardening off in the driveway. ~~ So you have 32 pots of perennials and shrubs? Hmpff... You think I need an intervention. I think I only have about ten perennial pots around here not 32. Jeesh.... T wow, you really scored with those wood chips. Fantastic! Your DH is too funny about the lawn but I completely understand. In this household I'm the kurmudgeon (sp?) who doesn't allow heavy equipment on the lawn. Doug would be over the moon if I told him to just drive the trailer up the hill whenever he needed to move it. How long do you think it is going to take you to move all of that? and do you have the curvy beds all laid out? Photos please? Eden, bummer about the weather there. We were able to get quite a bit done between the two lines of rain squalls that came through today. The only problem is that Doug decided to use the leaf blower to blow out the gutters and then blow off the patio. The only problem with this scenario is that the windows to the dining room were all open at the time so now the dining room has to be thoroughly vaccummed and dusted before company arrives tonight. Everything in here is covered with a layer of silty dirt. Grrrr.... I did ask why he didn't close the windows and he said it never occurred to him. Hmmm... I think Doug needs to dust and vac for a bit because that would probably tweak his memory the next time he uses the leaf blower and the windows are open. My very favorite Dougism to this day is the time someone asked how often we dusted to keep the house so clean and he said that we didn't need to dust because it never got dirty. Yes, he really did say that and mean it. ROTFLOL! ~~ Do be careful of that vaccuum. They tend to get cranky during the spring cleaning season. Mary, it sounds like the concert was a huge success but emotionally draining. What a wonderful tribute to your friends. I'm glad to hear you were able to catch a few extra 'z's' this morning. Hi Babs, thanks for checking in and for letting us know you've heard from EP. Glad to hear all is well with her. So Sue, did you get a lot done outside? and has the foster arrived yet? You must have been a happy camper that your Mom changed her plans and you have the weekend to garden. ~~ When is the Tony Advent lecture there? and do you have to be a member to go. OK break is over and I need to get motivated to get a few more things done before 5PM. Oh yes, I wanted to ask you guys if anyone grows Hakonechloa 'Albo Striata' and if so has it behaved itself in your gardens over time? My patch of it in the driveway garden was very well behaved for the first three years but last year it started travelling and it now looks like it wants to migrate to a different state. I'm going to have to dig the whole thing up and prune and replant it. Later all, Deanne

Lynn, Thanks but didn't I just describe most of us who urge our kids to conquer their fears, handle their lives and step up to take their place in this world? I think Max seriously wanted to marry me when he was very young. Now? Not so much. LOL! Max's job is new. He gets his first paycheck tomorrow. He's officially off the dole but he is still learning about this little concept. Phone call earlier this week: (Setting: After his first day of school) "School is great. I really like my classes.", "That's great, Max!" "Well, I have an opportunity to work tonight but I'm not scheduled and they won't hold it against me, so I'm not going in." (My wheels start to spin) "Max, it would look really good if you went in." "Yes, and I'm willing to work on Mondays but they need to schedule me." Blah, blah, blah about books he needs to buy, etc. and then: "Do you think you could send me about $70. this week so I have a little extra money?" (my brain "!!!!!!!!!!", but again, joyfully) "Hmm, you are saying you need extra money but you don't want to work extra? Papa works extra to provide you with *your* extra. Maybe you should let Papa have a little time off and you can work in his place." Utter silence. Joyfully, I said: "Is there anything else? I'm just running to the store." "No, that is it." "OK. I love you and am so happy you like your classes. Call soon!" "I love you too and I will." Hey, I may have fallen off the potato truck last night but I was awake all night.

Some other thoughts (I've been thinking about your and your post, and your problems, over the evening and the morning, on my commute, in the shower, etc.--so feel "cared for"!) I have some other thoughts that maybe you can plug into your problem-solving here. ******************* THOUGHT ONE: Redefine yourself as a SUPERVISOR, not a DO-er I have a relatively new colleague who is the editor of our magazine (I'm in charge of process and timing). Over the last 2 issues, I've realized that she's editing about 3/4 of the stories--yet she also has meetings w/ the publisher, and press-conference things to attend, and meetings w/ the edit director, etc. I've been pressuring her to realize, as she's hiring a new senior editor (there are only 2 editors, her and the senior) that she has to redefine what she does. She CANNOT edit 3/4 of the stories; she doesn't have time. She has to have time to be the executive (researching and making decisions; editing behind the other editor, etc.). And time to supervise. The same is true of you. Your kids aren't quite as old as mine (my youngest is the age of your oldest), but you need to start working TOWARD the idea that you don't DO; you supervise. (right now, you'll have more 'doing', but frankly, you should never take the garbage out, and you should never clean a toilet or a bathroom sink--your kids are old enough to do that. ******************** THOUGHT 2: REWARD WORKS BEST Also, reward works better than punishment. I keep forgetting that, and I sort of resent rewarding them for doing chores, but it's EFFECTIVE. Praise is a great reward, but so would be something like TV watching. (this means you have to move stuff like family event, TV time, etc., out of "life as normal" and into "reward" category) **************** THOUGHT 3: MANY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK This is not just that you can do more--but that when you work w/ company, it's more fun, less oppressive. Also, especially I think at the ages your kids are, it's much more fun to clean and tidy WITH COMPANY. So keep up the "family pick-up time," and make it MORE often, and everybody do it. Right before bed, everybody picks up. Put it on the schedule as being JUST as crucial as brushing teeth. it happens at the same time every day, and everybody does it. A little bit of "togetherness" right before bedtime, that ALWAYS happens, regardless. (I say this, because I do not DO this always, and I live w/ the end results, and it is NOT good; but the times that I am able to make this happen, it makes a big difference) (and everybody picks up everything--even if it's not yours, if you know where it goes, put it there) ****************** THOUGHT 4: PROVIDE STRUCTURE I think the ages your kids are is a good time for little time-management/motivation tricks. Here are some I've used: -"beat the clock": set a timer for 15 minutes, see how much you can do in a HURRY! -"clean to music": pick lively music, and see what you can do in 2 songs -"do a dozen": bring a laundry basket in, put 12 things in it (maybe you can help pick them, but best is to get the kid to put them in); so the dozen is clearly corralled, and have them put those away (beat the clock, if you can--my DS can put 12 things away in 3 minutes). Repeat as needed -"how long is it REALLY?" My timer will also work as a stopwatch; we timed how long it took to fold a basket of clothes--10 minutes. Or how long to "do a dozen"--3 mins. You could make a chart of how long things REALLY take, and then that will help remind you all that it'll be done so quickly. ************** THOUGHT 5: EDUCATE HUBBY I'm not big into demanding of my husband--it doesn't work, for one thing. But I'd suggest working w/ your DH to open his eyes to the idea that the stuff he brings in doesn't have a home, doesn't add to anything, etc., it sounds like he's got a willingness, so you can build on that. You may just need to educate him about the dynamics of "stuff" and "clutter"; he may not even see it. *************** THOUGHT 6: THINK "LONG-TERM IMPROVEMENT," NOT "ONE-SHOT SUCCESS" Also: one slighty pessimistic (well, "realistic") note: you said: "I want this resolved!" Homekeeping is NEVER "resolved." Training children to pick up their clothes is NEVER "resolved." Laundry is never "done." Aim for "caught up" w/ laundry. Aim for "trending better" w/ organization, housework, and kids living up to their responsibilities. ******* (an aside--the 6-hour math class: I often say to my kids, "If you'd stop arguing w/ me and just go PICK IT UP, you'd have been finished by now. You have spent more time arguing that it would have taken you to DO it!" (of curse, in those instances, I probably should have imposed some swift, onerous punishment, but...) I have thought sometimes that I should take my stopwatch-timer and turned it on to time how long they were fussing and whining, then time how long it took to do it") But that also points out a value in getting your kids to help you do some research--take your chore chart, and have them do the chore, complete w/ setup and break-down, smoothly without rushing or dawdling, and then write down the number of minutes it took--that's the standard, and when it's chore time, maybe it won't seem so daunting bcs they'll know that can clean the sink, the tub, and the toilet in 5 minutes. I did this w/ my DS bcs he was taking so long to get dressed, and he acted as though it would be FOREVER until he was done. So I challenged him to help me research it, and he could get dressed in 6 minutes (he has a tie, and a sweater, etc.) Once he really understood that, I found, he would get dressed promptly. Try the same thing for setting the table, etc. Also research stuff like how long it takes to pick up a huge mess, vs. how long it takes the next night when it's a single day's worth. ************* THOUGHT 7: LESS STUFF I said it before, and I'll say it again--the kids won't get overwhelmed, and you won't either, if they don't have more than the bare minimum. I'm thinking of Jamie from Montana, who used to post here, who hated washing dishes so much that she wouldn't, and then she'd have a huge stack of them, etc. She put all the plates away deep in the dining room, except for 2--so she had to do dishes every night, or she didn't have anything to eat on. Voila! she could keep up.

Your kitten must be related to mine! I found her when she was four weeks old and she hasn't stopped talking since. When she is mad (not hurt) but just upset you have locked her out of your room or aren't paying attention to her, she has this sharp "pay attention to me!" meow that sounds like nails on chalkboard. She "talks" when she uses her litter box, when she wants fed, when she plays with her toys, when she goes down to the basement and wants us to go down there and play with her. I have four cats total and two others meow when they want fed (one female is very insistent) however my fourth kitty rarely talks at all- I forget what her "meow" sounds like. My little one is constantly making noise, she is either purring or talking to us. As one poster suggested, if you want your kitten to stop this make sure you don't respond to his "talking" because he is training you to respond to his meowing. It is too late for me- when my little one cries or talks to me I give her attention or come running. Good luck.