Hidden hoarding tendency
16 years ago
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- 16 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
- 16 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
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hoarding neighbor
Comments (57)I forgot one very important point to reiterate that was touched on above: Has anyone made introductions with this family in question? They do not need to be LIKED by the neighbors, but some of this speculation about the seriousness of this situation might be either dispelled or proven (in which case action can legitimately be taken). As a child of an "over-collector" I will not lie. I over-collect. I have a house in Switzerland literally busting at the seams, but with museum quality paintings, furniture, glass and silver far different from my father's seemingly chaotic collections (my father says "two of anything constitutes a collection!"). To some people such as modernists and minimalists my massive collection might look like a massive junk collection. But it is well organized and generally focused. I have individual pieces of "junk" worth more than most people's homes and I take great pride in displaying my collections (even though I HATE dusting fragile glass and polishing silver). My overflow is stored in a secured-facility in Connecticut USA. I can not pass up a good auction. My father's solution (mind you, not most peoples' option) was to buy more and larger houses in which to store and decorate with what would not fit in garages and attics until he had 5 or 6 homes. My father in law is also a pack-rat (albeit highy organized) and built a 40'x100' barn on one of his ranches. The point is this: collecting might be a sickness, but organization is a skill. Some people just need help with the latter. Maybe these neighbors are such people. Don't take these pack-rat neighbors at face value. Make introductions. So much of this speculation and "what should I do" stuff is flat out cowardice. Good God, have some balls!!! These might be nice people and open to help and suggestions like the lady mentioned above who could not care for her yard on her own. I'll bet these people feel very isolated despite having so many neighbors. Have a block party if you are afraid to confront them directly! Safety in numbers if that's what it takes. Just some thoughts....See MoreArticle on hoarding & history in today's Wall Street Journal
Comments (7)Actually, I didn't mention receipts. Just paper in general. I've been on other boards where people literally have stacks of outdated manuals, policies they no longer own and retirement papers which are valid, but actually no longer useful after the "newest" set arrive quarterly in the mail. Someone whom I admire greatly made a point: 95% of what people have in their paper stacks is junk. 5% is archivable or valuable. She suggests not spending a lot of time on the paper but instead box it up and forget about it while you create a system from scratch that works. If you aren't going to make a huge mathmatical spreadsheet detailing your home's energy usage, is the paid bill really necessary to keep for months? Or once you see that you have been creditted with that payment on the following bill, can you let it go? When your retirement investment papers come in the mail with the previous balance and your new balance, can you throw the old papers? (That was a hard one for me, as I just kept investment papers in the same area and eventually created a mountain!) Each company I am with sends a year-end spreadsheet and I really like that! I also signed up for their e-mail delivery so I can just transfer that file into a folder without even looking at it, if I choose. One company is sending BOTH paper and e-mail, ick. Gloria, you mentioned "the fear of not having what you need". I recently read an article on hoarding and would like to quote: How do you know what's of value and what's not? All the ads, all the news scream out that 'this is important, this is essential!' And somewhere in the imagination the idea gets planted: Without this stuff, I'm without protection. I'm lost. Anything could happen. The possibilities seem infinite, in part, I suppose, because there's so little evidence that as individuals we can control much of anything. Take technology--it's hyped as 'access to information,' as x, y, and z, the solution to the crises. As freedom--from anxiety, from fear. But it turns out that instead of being liberating, it's imprisoning. It's overload I became interested in the psychology of hoarding almost 20 years ago when a garbage house was discovered in the town where I live. I have made many observations about the psychology of why people keep things. I am not trying to be judgemental, although it is hard on the computer to convey. I keep receipts myself! I recently had a 4 month old digital camera break and the store only honored receipts up to 90 days. The manufacturer was much nicer! Sometimes when I purchase a lot of things at Target I will ask for the blouse or shoes to be rung up seperately, so I can throw away the receipt with the detergent & staples which I know I'd never return and keep only what I might need. I'm not totally ruthless! And I enjoy discussing the psychology and techniques that work for me and what others do too....See MorePt. 2 -- Celticmoon's plan to combat hoarding
Comments (150)Sounds like you all are making great progress. I am being consumed, sucked dry, by this outdoor project which is getting more and more out of hand. Started with DH wanting a hot tub for his birthday in July. One thing led to another - though I'm still not sure how gutters crept into this project... I've vetted more tradespeople and learned more about building codes, concrete, decking, electricity, etc etc than my brain can handle. Oh, and tubs. Cripes, I don't even like hot tubs. I don't even like to be wet. I'm part cat. Sheesh. Good news is all the progress on the worst part of our yard. Ditching the 10 ft sattelite dish was huge. Salvaged my favorite perennial herbs and flowers and will be able to make a great new bed for them when the concrete guys get done. And we will have a real cement walkway rather than the ugly, heaving, crooked, weedy block walk that's been there forever. Cement guys asked if I wanted to keep the blocks. Obviously you know I thought I should, after all I might want to recreate that ugly walk somewhere else, right? I might need them someday, right? And they cost like a dollar each, so that would be money wasted if I need them later, right? Then the voice said, "No, Celtic! Cull! Cull! Remember? Cull!" I just watched the truck loaded with nasty old blocks pull away. Whew. That was a close one. Really. Thanks for the collective shout. I heard you....See MoreGreat Hoarding Article
Comments (27)I'm not sure about other hoarders but my sister is mentally ill with bipolar disorder and is a hoarder. She also has OCD which complicates things. Her behavior is somewhat common apparently in bipolar. She says it's her safety nest. She only has a room to hoard in at my other sister's place, so it's not as bad as when she was living alone. She had what is called a psychotic break, a breakdown, when my other sisters decided to get rid of all of her stuff, to help her of course. She was about to be forced out of her apartment, which she owned! and it landed her in the hospital on suicide watch... A person who hoards apparently has very definite attachment to their things and the loss of those things can have dire consequences. I have seen her struggle to change it but to no avail. If someone has no other looming challenges and gets help from a compassionate team, they may be able to overcome the urge to surround themselves with things. I'm not sure if it is a part of mental illness always but for my sister it is. She is extremely bright, and was a lawyer for many years before her illnesses took over her every moment. She has life time friends and is well thought of. Illnesses rob us of freedom often but they don't keep my sister down. I'm very glad to have her bipolar hoarding self in my life! I love her, faults and all....See More- 16 years agolast modified: 9 years ago
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