In theory imitation may be a sincere form of admiration but IMO it's often just a poor attempt at one-upmanship. Sure many of us copy *ideas* we see in magazines or the 'net but usually put our own spin on them and combine them in unique ways. There really are few new ideas but unending ways to mix things up.

I admit to feeling flattered many decades ago when our builder asked to allow some new potential clients to see our home. It was a cookie-cutter style of house but we had made several changes to upgrade. It really did look much nicer than other similar houses in the area that he had built. I don't know if those people copied our ideas exactly but with that type of house what difference would it make? I'm sure their furniture was not identical.

More recently it also felt validating when someone (seeing our house for the first time and being told I shop mostly in pre-owned venues) said emphatically that she would have to start attending yard sales. I think I'm pretty safe from exact copiers tho.

If anyone were able to copy my decor today I'd change it in some way ASAP because it would annoy me. Of course copying our exact unique house design with my unique choices of accessories would be a challenge for anyone and since I change accessories frequently most couldn't keep up! LOL Lots of luck to anyone exactly copying the original paint color in my den which I mixed myself.

Might be a lesson for some to put their own individual stamp on their decor to make it more difficult to copy - if it's something that bothers them.

Recently found this old thread which critiques imitations.

Interesting topic! Moved into a house I designed and had built. Builder is passing it off as his own plan now. Frustrating, yes a little that he is claiming it as his, but flattering at the same time. I know they won't be building anywhere near my 20 acres. Offered to make recommendations for changes but he hasn't taken me up on my offer (silly man!)

More so related to my children but I am dealing with this "issue" if you want to call it that at this very moment. Our neighbors of 2 years are giving us the silent treatment for the last 3 months. She has over that time made several comments that we have copied them. P-L-E-A-S-E! We bought our son an electric ride on toy that they also had. I came across it on kijiji for an incredible price and couldn't pass it by. She said to my husband "well the next thing you'll be doing is cutting your children's hair short and dying it blonde". I saw RED! I'm thinking to myself "In order to avoid being called a copycat do I need to post a memo so you know what our plans and intentions are regarding our children, house and property for the next 10 years?" I think not.

A few of the examples on this thread really are shocking, but mostly, I don't get it. I mean, it would take a lot more than paint colors, matching sofas, gobs of bangle bracelets, and my favorite heels to become a copy of me. Please God help anyone who tries. :O)

If something makes me happy + it makes you happy, doesn't that = 2 happy people?

Anyway, 90% of paint colors are stupid. Okay, not stupid, but I can't blame anyone who wants to know what color makes a great yellow house.

Before anyone thinks I'm a happy-go-lucky, start a thread on, ahem, "design" decisions of neighbors. Really, I'd rather them copy.

Paint chips, I'm with you on this one. I hope this doesn't sound judgmental, because it isn't. But this entire topic is something I have literally never in my life considered, much less experienced. Maybe because my house is a refuge and as bad as it sounds, we rarely have people over who aren't family. Much less friends who come in/out, or who I visit frequently at their homes.

Fascinating subject and a look at a subject I know nothing about!

Ann

On one hand its flattering, on the other it is an insult. I can see why people do it, but when you think you have a hit it makes you mad that someone else gets the royalties from it. My bunko group is notorius for copying each other. I designed my kitchen 15 years ago with a Tuscan/ grape motif. When one of my pals built her house, she went with the grape motif and did all she could to one up me. Then, one of them purchased a gold Toyota, one other bought the same exact model and color. I purchased an Acura, another purchased an Acura too, but the higher-end model. Then when I got a new car recently, she commented that she wanted the same car but could not afford it. Then, about 4 years ago I had the house I am in now built; she had a house built the next year, with a very, very similar floor plan. She asked me a lot of questions about my house before she revealed she was having one built. We had a get together for her to show off her new house and the kids were invited. My daughter immediately shouted out, you have the same house as ours...she didn't know any better. She turned red, but didn't say anything. She asked me where I purchased things and I told her here and there, which is the truth...I always have my eye out for cute accessories. But one thing, none of them can out do me when it comes to decorating. So now, I copy their ideas, one friend collects angels, I do too...another collects nutcrackers, I do too. So we just keep it in the family so to speak! :)

Before anyone thinks I'm a happy-go-lucky, start a thread on, ahem, "design" decisions of neighbors. Really, I'd rather them copy.

LOL! Perhaps you would like to join me in my "stealth" home painting business. There are always homes in my neighborhood that I would just love to repaint in the middle of the night. There is also work available for "stealth" landscapers!

Interesting thread...I would love to say that I'm above being petty about family/friends/acquaintances copying me, but I'm more irritated than flattered by it.

Someone posted above about the copier who really seemed to believe that the ideas were hers originally. I have one relative who does that all the time. She will point, Vanna White-style, to something in her home and say something like "I found a wicker table and painted it butter yellow. I think a pot of red geraniums on it makes for a cheery look in the entryway!" Yes, exactly as that same combination I put together that she commented on last week in my entryway does....
Those folks leave me scratching my head, but don't make me angry.

The ones I find aggravating are those who claim they "don't have time" for home decorating and then just write a check to have someone else do all the work utilizing all the colors/details they've found at my home -that we've spent hours researching & DIY'd on our weekend/vacation time. Like others noted above, what I hate most about this is others thinking we've taken the copiers' ideas and copied them.

Most people here have more design/decor experience than I do, but I've been happy to offer ideas, sources, paint colors, etc. when asked or if I think I can contribute. If you're participating in this type of forum you are likely open to that kind of sharing.

terriks...can you send those stealth landscapers to my house, I know whose yard I want copied. :-)

Terri, the only requirements for me joining you are that we can't paint trim bright kelly green and no tires for flower beds. Geez. How can someone put flowers in a Firestone and call that an improvement on nature?

But how about if we put brightly colored artificial flowers in the tire flower beds, maybe with some miniature ceramic deer standing guard?

Terri, ohh, ouch, pain.

Paint_Chips, I honestly don't know why people put tires as decorations in their yard. We have dug up 3 tires, carpet, and ceramic tile in our yard. We have also pulled up a tomato cage with a cast iron skillet sitting on top of it and pulled off 2 hubcaps that were nailed to a tree. I guess some peoples trash are other peoples treasures.

Sorry for the thread jack.

I opened this thread with a bit of trepidation. I was sure I'd be crucified for being so ungenerous & arrogant. :-)

It's true that most so-called original ideas are inspired by one thing or another. I do my share of getting ideas from here and there, but in the end, I do filter it through my creative lenses and make it my own. I don't mind if people use the same colors. I would even offer to let my friend borrowed left-over paint so they can test on their walls. I don't mind sharing resources (skilled craftmen, best place to buy fabric, etc.). I have no problem spending hours helping my friends to shop, decorate, design their homes. Just because I bought an item, it doesn't mean my friends are barred from getting it for their own home. However, I would never get an unique item or design idea from my friends' house because I don't want to upstage them, you know.

My story: A friend is remodeling her master bed/bath suite. She has a designer on board & the concept was brown cabinet, granite countertop, travertine flooring. We were talking a/b her remodel when she asked me what would I do for my bathroom remodel & I told her the details of my dream bath (onyx bookmatched shower, chiseled onyx backsplash, etc..). I found a chandelier which I love love love and it would be the crowning glory for my dream bath (bought the chandelier, still saving $$ for the bath). Anyhow, recently I went to her house w/ couple girlfriends to check out her new master bath. Much to my dismay, she has used all my ideas for my dream bath in hers: same countertop, same flooring, same tub, same wallpaper, even my inspirational chandelier (which she knew I already bought). All the girls Ohh and Ahh because that bathroom is freakingly gorgeous. On one hand, I felt glad that all the details I'd dreamed a/b came together so beautifully in real life. On another hand, I felt so peeved because this is supposed to be mine, not hers, you know. It's like having your best friend stole your dream guy from you. It sucked. I asked her, "I thought the designer's design was different." She said, "oh, I fired him and designed it myself. Granite & travertine is so passe---onyx is the "in" thing now."

The rub is, the other day -- another friend came to our house and saw the chandelier I'd bought for the bathroom. She said, "oh--isn't that the chandy that S- used in her gorgeous bath? It's a pretty chandy but I wouldn't use it if I were you. Everybody would think that you are a copycat." :-)

Let's just say that the very next morning, that chandy was on its way to my sister's house (in another state) where it will be the crowning glory for her dining room. :-). And me, I'm getting ideas for another bath and this time, I won't tell anybody (except you guys, of course) ;-D

You gave away your dream chandelier because a friend bought one just like it? What your friend did was impolite, but I know that I would still be able to enjoy the item in my own house. Not criticizing you for your decision, but it underscores how strongly some people feel about these things.

I guess I'm surprised how high schoolish some of these comments from "friends" sound. I cannot believe a woman I'm guessing at least in her mid 30's would make a comment "oh--isn't that the chandy that S- used in her gorgeous bath? It's a pretty chandy but I wouldn't use it if I were you. Everybody would think that you are a copycat."

Why would you not just tell her right then and there that you've had that chandelier for X months and S basically copied your ideas? Also, I'm also freaking wondering who cares if her bathroom looks like yours? Unless you parade your friends in there weekly to show off your decor, who goes into your bathroom anyways?

I'm surprised how easily some people are swayed by the comments and petty statements of others. I understand your anger at being copied - but why just not say something right then and there in a calm, non accusatory way - "S, I showed you my chandelier and shared this exact vision for my bathroom! It looks lovely, but I feel like you've stolen my dream bathroom!!"

I don't get how you can consider these people "friends" if they would do something they know would hurt you, and you can't tell them how you're feeling.

It's unexplainable -- I don't mind having the same bedding, same paint color, even same furniture as my friends. As long as the same thing is filtered through our personal style and come out differently. I helped my sister painted her cabinet the same cream as mine. We even used the same hardware for the upper. However, hers came out French country & mine is more vintage modern. It didn't bother me at all.

I just wish that my friend had asked me & be honest a/b it. I probably would come up with something even better for her dream bath. I supposed the way it happened irked me more than the fact that it happened. I wish I can be magnanimous like my DH but I am working on it LOL :-D

Weird as it seems, now that I talked a/b it here -- it didn't bother me as much as before. The chandelier is beautiful, but I don't mind giving it away. My sister loves it too and she needs a new chandy. I want my friend to have her moment & her unique bath. It would be a while before I do our bathroom, and I'm sure by then, I would have plenty more ideas. There is always another beautiful chandelier. LOL :-)

I know people who are very particular a/b not sharing. I have a friend who makes the best 7-layered dip and she wouldn't share the recipe with me. Even though we are best friends. She would make it & give it to me but sharing the secret recipe? never! It's like the secret to the Krabby Patty LOL :-)

Having said that, I'm very glad for those who share ideas on here and in magazines. And are magnanimous enough to feel flattered instead of annoyed LOL :-D

Caroleoh: I didn't want to make this thread a/b me & what happened. This post was just meant to be a commentary on our feelings a/b the subjects. I don't think there is right or wrong. Surely we all copy or inspired by one thing or another yet we are annoyed when someone copy us? Are there instances when immitation is more acceptable?

I don't know why people do what they do, or why we feel the way we feel either. Maybe I would confront her but what's the point, it's done. Why make her feel bad, you know. Maybe I should hang the chandelier but I don't feel like it. Maybe I don't love it that much after all.

Now I have these gorgeous Baker chairs and I don't care who has them or who copy me, I would still keep them in my house & love them LOL :-D Another friend bought the bedding I love & have and every time she saw mine she said, "I love your bedding." and I said, "I love yours too" and we just laugh a/b it.

Bella, I didn't mean to "pick" on your post - it just happened to be the last one I read and honestly, many of the others mirrored the thoughts you had.

You're right, making someone feel bad doesn't make you feel any better. I guess the more I think about it, I would probably feel a little perturbed if my friends were copying all my decor ideas verbatim.

Of course, since that never happens, I guess that's why I'm so surprised at how strongly people feel about their ideas being used.

I guess we just all need to learn to let the little things go and move on - like you did with the chandy. You don't have to look at it and be reminded of your friend's b-room and you gave your sister pleasure and happiness in using it in her house!

Like igloo, I get asked for help with paint colors from family and the few friends I have (life long loner here), but I've never felt that anyone "copied" me or my choices, and my taste is pretty out there, so it's not surprising.

Honestly, this is a sad thread, and affirms to me that our decision to live in the boonies, in a non-upscale area, with few neighbors is the best choice we ever made, I would never, ever survive in a neighborhood full of frenemies, no how, no way, IMO life is just too damn short to worry about whose chandy, landscaping, color scheme, wallpaper, etc., is being copied by whom.

What was that Charlie Daniels song..."If you don't like the way I'm living, you just leave this long haired country boy alone...", that's how we feel.

sandyponder

good for you Sandy. Now just be careful when you get off that high horse LOL (just kidding) :-)

Well, bellaflora, you can think I'm on a high horse because I am happy with where I live, frankly, it sounds to me as if your neighborhood is a merry go round, and I have no interest in being on one of those.

sandyponder

I moved into a planned community of 3400 homes in Texas and within that community are subdivisions. My sub of about 65 homes has all the same brick, everyone has leaded glass doors (various designs) and we all basically received the same landscaping. The homes are different from one another and now 10 years later, people have changed their landscaping to suit themselves and the neighborhood has taken on a different look.

The worst one was the lady who asked me to make her window treatments/duvet/shams etc., so that they would be "just like mine". :^(

The more I think about it, I can understand how someone, particularly a talented person, would be upset about this. That combination of details is your intellectual property. You own it in the same way writers, poets, musicians, painters, etc. own the property they create. Copying a friend's ideas is a form of plagiarism.

It's not illegal to copy a friend's creative ideas, but it's still bad form.

I've really never experienced such a thing in my own life, or heard about it from friends. We share references for stores/designers/etc, but everyone ends up with their own (very) individual look.

Should I be offended that no one wants to copy me? lol. I don't really know how I'd feel, though. I know that when I got my first apartment, as a college sophomore, my roommate who owned the place had spent the summer decorating it -- and I don't mean "college" decorating, but real live decorating. It definitely had an impact on me and my style from then on, but I don't know if I was "copying" or if it just struck a nerve that was already there. It was sort of a Ralph Lauren cottage meets Pop Art place, which sounds odd but it was so darn cute. Red and blue fabrics and Roy Lichtenstein prints ...

When I first read this post I commented above. Scroll way
up, it is there.

But in the days that followed I changed my mind. I have
been in the process of painting, working on and trying to
frilly up my home. No luck. My home is ugly and I need
help. Desperate help.

So forgive me,
I NEED TO IMMITATE. My home is so horribly decorated and
looking like early American dog hair goes Brady bunch
retro that I need to copy someone. I assure you it is not
out of competition or even to try to do a better job than
any of the lovely homes here. It is simply that my
taste is in my elbow or maybe my ear. And I have no sense
of proportion, color, style, .... I am at a complete loss.

I wish I could say it is because I am a scientist or
accountant but no, I studied fine Art and got all As.
Somehow raising kids, wiping up dog drool, crowded carpool
lanes, pta mafia, lazy keister sitting while reading GW,
laundry, laundry and more more laundry along with,
pulling dirty socks out of the crevice of a sofa cushion
to do more laundry, scrubbing toothpaste spit off the
mirror, emptying the dw, finding nail polish drops on
the carpet and having a hissy fit, making 30 cupcakes
that second because some kid forgot to tell me last week
he signed me up for the duty, . all this has caused me
to forget.

Yes, I forgot me, I forgot what I like, my favorite
colors, art, furniture, I forgot how to make my home
gorgeous.

So please forgive me if I borrow or steal or copy your
Amazing rooms. It is not out of flattery but out of Sheer
Desperation. : )

Thanks Garden webbers.

Re: Bellaflora's "friend" copying her exact ideas and fixtures and the deal with the dip recipe, I have so been there, done that. And it's heartbreaking. Yes, dramatic I know. But the feeling you have inside, unless you have experienced it you just don't understand. I have since distanced myself with my "fre-enemy" as I couldn't take the stress. Everything was a competition with her. And like I said, she was the one with TALENT, not me! I struggled and struggled and she could take my idea and soar with it.

Re: Boxerpups----I totally get it!! That's how I feel here, that I need to copy other's wonderful talent. If someone here suggests I move something or adjust something, I can assure you I do exactly "as told" because I trust and appreciate everyone's opinion here. I have learned things that would never have occured to me and I am so grateful. (And I look like a pro when I make suggestions to others I know!)

I love this thread, even if parts of it make me want to cry.

That is a funny, self deprecating and human post, boxerpups, it brightened my morning! Thank YOU!

I can tell I was *not* flattered when the people that live directly across from us decided they liked our house color so much, they painted their house the exact same color! I'm sure a lot of you remember me posting here and I seriously considered changing the house color even though we had just painted. I still boggles my mind that they'd want to have the *exact* same color, what ever happened to originality .. it's what makes the neighborhood attractive I think.

Anyhooo .. other than that if people don't live right next to me, I don't mind at all. I have a good friend that lives down the street and she likes to decorate cottage too. She often will ask my thoughts or opinions, but she has her own personal style, which is beautiful. I love that I can share with her and her with me like that.

I live in one of those cookie-cutter neighborhoods,
never again! and I can say there's no originality
here at all. I paid for a professional landscaper
to do my entire property, most of the plant material
has been copied in some form or another and placed
in the exact location as mine. I have hired
contractors to come out and do work on my home; my
neighbor's will come up to them while they're working
and request there services as well. One neighbor
buys a car/mini-van, these people will buy the same
exact model and color. I've never lived around so many
people who don't have their own sense of style. I'm not
flattered, and it borders on the ridicules....

We and our next door neighbors joke about one-upping each other all the time, and we all think it's a riot. Yes, we have many of the same things (cookie cutter hood and we share many tastes), but they look totally different because we put our own spin on things...

We both have:
Pools
Palm Trees
Stained fences

...and that's just the outside. Do they look anywhere near the same? Not even close! Course, it helps that ours is a 2-story and theirs is a single ;-)

In regards to paint, this is one of those hoods where the builders (thank goodness) didn't use the same color brick anywhere close together - the same paint wouldn't look the same even if someone did copy! The nearest my brick is duplicated is at least 2 blocks away from us, and on a single!

This was an interesting read. I, too, need to find my ideas from others. If someone takes an idea from me, then I feel vindicated that what I chose was "good enough" (don't have much decorating self-esteem). It's never going to look the exact same unless you copy the entire room/house (reminds me of a Frasier episode where Frasier's protege moved into his building and re-created F's apartment because he didn't have his own style. Frasier was tres upset).

I have a cake recipe that came to me from a friend 15 yrs ago. She brought the cake over for us one Christmas and hubby fell in love (with the cake, that is)--it's his favorite to this day. She gave me the recipe, titled "Susie's....." (and my friend was not Susie). Who knows where the recipe came from originally. But anyway, it soon became my "signature" Christmas cake--the one the family always had, the one I made for others as gifts, etc. I took it to my in-laws one year and SIL had to have the recipe. She made it and took it to work where everyone there had to have the recipe. Well, a sister of my SIL's co-worker has a catering business (bakery, too) and got hold of the recipe. That cake is now her most requested cake. I bet by now she feels it's HER recipe :-)

So, tracey, tell us more about this cake . . .

I came back to read the rest of the posts I haven't read, and am surprised so many find it 'offensive' when someone 'copies' something they've done. I just don't get it guys! What's the big deal? Even if it is copyrighted, and your home is in a completely different state, what difference does it make and *who* is it going to hurt? Living right next door or *directly* across the street is a different matter, and I would probably approach the neighbor and asked why he chose he same color paint/plants/trees or whatever. No offense intended. ;o)

patty, I'm only speaking for myself obviously, and I really have no idea why I feel this way, but if one of my virtual friends here copied something I did, I would feel flattered and probably wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off my face. However, like, you said, it IS different when it's someone who is a very real part of your life, maybe even someone who has a history doing "things like this." The friend who "copied" me got many accolades for her choices - my choices - and I was hurt by that. Now, that might make me petty or shallow, but it also makes me honest. I think Graywings was on to something when she wrote, "The more I think about it, I can understand how someone, particularly a talented person, would be upset about this. That combination of details is your intellectual property. You own it in the same way writers, poets, musicians, painters, etc. own the property they create. Copying a friend's ideas is a form of plagiarism.

It's not illegal to copy a friend's creative ideas, but it's still bad form."

I feel that I spend a lot of time thinking about the way I want my house to look. I would guess that's true for most everyone here or they wouldn't be spending so much time on a home decor board. I know when I was copied I felt that I had put all of the work and time and trial and error into something that somebody else just went and stole the credit for. Again, I know this isn't very mature - but I can't help it! Wish I could!

I think the plagiarism comparison is right on target.

Take Susie's cake. If I were Susie, and I went to a party catered by the caterer and saw 'my' cake being served, I'd simply have to ask the caterer about it. If the caterer then said to me "That's called 'Susie's Cake' and is a fabulous recipe I got from a friend of a friend." then I'd be tickled pink and introduce myself as 'the' Susie. But if she simply said "Isn't the Lime Chiffon heavenly?" -- THEN I'd be pi$$ed!

One of my best friends bought my same bedspread after seeing it in my house. While we have a lot of the same friends, she entertains much more than I do -- so everyone will see it there first. But I've heard her say more than once that she liked mine so much she got one just like it. Again, giving credit takes the sting out.

Funny, but just Saturday a friend of mine in another state was telling me how angry she was with a "dear" friend who copied her den remodel idea. It was a good, clever, beautiful solution to a structural problem, and her friend liked it so much she had the exact thing built. I kept laughing in disbelief because I couldn't understand why my friend was so agitated, and she got angrier & angrier the more I laughed. Guess I'm naive.

It doesn't bother me if someone copies "my" ideas (I've probably copied them from a magazine or a house I liked). It's flattering that someone likes it enough to want it for their own, and it's interesting to see in what direction the copiers have taken the ideas, too. My contractor drove a new client by our home that we remodeled recently. The client wants to use the same exterior color scheme: white siding, red roof. I can hardly wait to see how her home turns out.

Like segbrown pointed out, should we be offended if no one wants to copy our ideas? Has anybody gone back to a former home and seen that your decor ideas were obliterated by the new owners? How does that make you feel?

Boxerpups your funny post is so to the point:
"So forgive me, I NEED TO IMMITATE. My home is so horribly decorated and looking like early American dog hair goes Brady bunch retro that I need to copy someone."

In fact, I guess I must have copied my current style from you. You pegged it perfectly!

I'm getting that desperation thing down to...

"Has anybody gone back to a former home and seen that your decor ideas were obliterated by the new owners? How does that make you feel?"

awn03, this exact same thing happened to me 10 years ago when we sold our home to friends. Hearing about the changes they were making over the next few years was annoying, sometimes insulting
(she'd ask me: "don't you think this is better ?" )
but we do have very different tastes and I could understand them going in a different direction.

reverse imitation can feel like disapproval, I learned to grin and bear it but it was a bit difficult for my ego , I have to admit, lol....
I bit my tongue many times.

"Has anybody gone back to a former home and seen that your decor ideas were obliterated by the new owners? How does that make you feel?"

Yes - That happened to me. And the new owners made it look SOOOOO much better! It made me realize that I had been a very passive 'decorator' -- just adding furniture and knick-nacks without really analyzing what worked and didn't work. The new owner's changes were structural and dramatic. She fixed what was wrong with the house's design that I hadn't been able to identify....

I got inspired and felt challenged (in a positive way).

Tracey, now you have to share that cake recipe!! I promise to call it Susie's Cake, and not claim it as my own creation (if you knew my baking skills you'd understand!)

Although, I'm on a diet, and really don't need a cake recipe that I'm going to fall in love with.

I want cake!

...and BTW, Mitch...anyone who would make drastic changes, in a home of yours, and then have the gall to brag about it, must have pretty lousy taste. :)

We will be visiting our last home that we sold soon. I hope I dont like how the new owners decorated, is that bad... cause I really liked that house.

I've thought long and hard about responding to this post and have kept bypassing it. So w/o reading any responses yet (don't want to be influenced) here goes:

If somebody copied a vignette of mine somewhere in their home I would be fine w/ that. If they copied more than that and almost copied my home I would be downright irritated. Maybe even angry, but only if they didn't ask.

I've spent alot of time fleshing out my personal style and continue to evolve and I think that each person has their own that they need to find. That's probably why I would find it hard to have a decorator come in and 'Do' my house. That's what makes us an individual. As an individual I do not want anybody copying me. If I can be of inspiration to help somebody figure something out or toss out ideas then great! But if somebody outright copies me - I'm not going to be happy.

I've already found me and I'd be more than happy to help you find you.

The sincerest form of flattery in my book is asking me how I did something, what I thought and if you want, ask me for my help.

That goes for everything - my perfume too. Took me forever to finally find one that I thought was truly 'me' (I'm a signature kind of perfume gal). Then it took another 2yrs. to finally get it (afford it) for Christmas. My BIL smelled it and told my sister that she should get it and she agreed. I almost smacked her. I know that they don't get it but I pride my individuality in the things that I do and wear and that's just the way that I am.

Closing my eyes and posting!

""Has anybody gone back to a former home and seen that your decor ideas were obliterated by the new owners? How does that make you feel?" "

This should be its own thread. My extensive rose garden with underplantings, was obliterated by the new owners, who didn't want to be bothered. To be fair, they did ask me if I wanted any of the plants, and I got my pals together and took more of them. The garden had been planted by the house's long-time owner, and some of the varieties just aren't around any more. And they repainted my red dining room.

This article caught my eye today...speaks to builders and the cookie-cutter neighborhood.
====================================
By David Sokol

Since almost the day they were born, suburbs have been criticized for their plain vanilla sameness. Is the downturn causing the landscape to become even more look-alike?

Faced with declining demand for new homes and a glut of inventory, home builders are cutting house plans from their portfolios and standardizing on design in an effort to save costs and better compete with bargain-priced foreclosures and pre-existing homes.

Miami-based Lennar Corporation is streamlining the number of models it offers for new homes. And Los Angelesbased builder KB Home "is cutting costs partly by standardizing window sizes and floor plans rather than allowing endless local variations," The Wall Street Journal recently reported.

Is what's good for builders good for the suburbs?
The big home builders have a long history of "value engineering" -- finding ways to squeeze costs and time out of the home-building process, whether by cutting back on expensive materials or spacing studs farther apart. During the boom, it allowed them to put more homes up faster and rake in profits. Now, it's a more a matter of survival.

Steve Ruffner, president of KB Home's southern California division, tells us that the Wall Street Journal is referring to the company's "Open Series." This year-old house collection is, indeed, offered nationwide. And these homes do feature standardized windows and flooring. KB also contracted with KitchenAid, Maytag, and Delta for appliances and furnishings. "It gets much better deals for customers," Ruffner says, adding that the series targets homeowners who earn the median income in their respective markets.

KB Home Chief Executive Jeffrey Mezger told analysts last year that the new designs cut construction costs by $80,000 and allowed it to cut home prices by $60,000 on a typical home, according to Business Week.

If The Open Series sounds like historic Levittown developments writ very, very large, you wouldn't be completely off the mark. In their respective heydays, both targeted first-time buyers, and both achieved affordability through economies of scale. KB as well as Levitt and Sons, the now-bankrupt developer of Levittown, have allowed for customization, although naturally there are many more options nowadays than the gray-flannel-suit era offered.

In that sense, KB is fighting against the homogeneity of postwar housing. The company, along with other home builders, is also trying to right the wrongs of suburbs past: Open Series homes are built to Energy Star specifications, and they're 45 percent more energy-efficient than homes constructed in the 1990s.

And both KB and Lennar get credit for thinking smaller. In keeping with a trend toward smaller homes, Lennar has been nixing the super-sized plans from its portfolio. Ruffner won't specify the average size of Open Series interiors, but says that customers can elect to expand the square footage of the base models.

Levittown and its ilk encouraged Americans to settle in gas- and land-guzzling hinterlands, ushering in the age of strip malls and cookie cutter developments. At least Mother Nature can thank the recession for making future suburbs a little more eco-friendly.

Sable.ca - I read your post and was horrified but by the time I finished reading it, I roared laughing. Awesome! Loved it.

Very interesting thread..yes, I know, I'm seven years late into the party, but since it's been resurrected..

When I was a young teen I figured out one thing I still kinda believe in. People have two different, opposite forces inside them, deep wishes if you please, contrarious ones.

The first, is to be like everybody else's. To belong.

The second, is to be like nobody else it the world. To be unique.

Everybody s got it to a different extent, and these forces pull us and sometimes one is stronger and sometimes the other is, but they always have that sort of fierce(or calm) dialogue..:)

And by a certain time if we're lucky-we understand, finally, that our wishes were granted a long time ago..both of them. Given at birth..:)

So yes, I think it's natural to be mildly annoyed and highly flattered at the same time..:)

Depends on the situation of course.

I've been inspired my friends' houses, books etc..I didn't copy but I got inspiration

They've been inspired by mine-no, they don't copy(also very hard to do when you pick your stuff second hand and buy original art and mix bits and pieces)-but they're inspired and their houses can end up being totally different style then mine-but they do ask sometimes for advice, not paint colors..that's what's flattering.

It's not only flattering..there's something more about that.

So many things separate people, it's sad

When your eyes get that sparkle by seeing somebody's idea, or somebody else's do, when seing yours..you're connected. You have both your wishes fulfiled, that very moment. You belong and you're unique because of that connection, that's highly personal..and the feeling of it is so strong it's palpable.

I'll tell a short story. I have a dear friend for years. We both used to live in the same city when young..we loved the city. Well it's universally loved city, so..:)

We don't live there anymore, but each of us goes to visit with their families etc

This friend, she's one who inspired me with her house endlessly, by the way

So one day I fly to visit her. And I see a new ceramics she's got. A funny bird

And I have the same bird! Same ceramic artist, obviously

(the only difference-my funny bird has horns, her, a ribbon..))

I'm, like "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BIRD?"

well what do you know. her loving the same city we spent our youth in, walking same streets when she's there, loving stores that I love, having similar styles..

when she was there she walked into that gallery and fell in love with that bird

when I was there I walked into that gallery and fell in love with this bird

and it happened on the other side of the ocean from here, and neither of us knew

so yes, I was slightly annoyed for a minute

then I realised..how strange and wonderful it is, two friends that are different in so many ways, but share so much in common, have so many memories together, that they saw something similar, lovable, tellling a story. in a ceramic bird in a gallery on a certain sreet in a certain very special city, thousand miles away

(This is such an old post but maybe someone will read my response anyway.) I had a very close friend of nine years who finished building their brand new home just a couple blocks away right after we did. She came over with an uninvited friend and toured through my finished home, even took a few ideas photos, I didn’t mind because I have no problem sharing some ideas. I had spent the last two years planning and picking every detail of my home and had never anticipated what was about to happen...

Thing is, when I had a chance to go through their home in the final stages of construction I saw that they had chosen the same tile in a few rooms, same wood flooring and stain, same paint colors, white brick, outdoor fixtures, doorknobs, handles, barn door and color, and eventually realized that even their pillow fabric on the sofa was the exact same! When I admitted to her that it hurt my feelings that she never just asked if I’d mind her copying my looks, she cried and yelled and said that the designer had picked it all out and she had no idea it was the same. so weird. Needless to say, we are not good friend anymore although our husbands are, so sometimes we see them as couples. Life is too short to be mad for long, but everyone should understand that imitation can be flattering if it’s done the right way, or horribly hurtful if it’s not. It’s not about stuff, it’s about hard work, creative passion, consideration, feelings and friendship.

I really truly don't mind anyone copying my home decor,. Heck, when they say they admire my design/ideas, I am flattered that they would like to imitate it, BUT the key word here is giving credit to the original person you copied it from, where it's due. What irks me is when they try to pass it off as their own ideas to other people I know, but not socially active with.

They may be thinking I will never interact with with them or have them over at my house, but our paths will cross and rumors do spread.

In my case, I happen to walk into then talking and our mutual acquaintance happen to be mentioning how she's right about using this specific paint color which brightens up the interior house and how she loved the accent wall.. Well, her living room was painted exactly like ours. (My painter finished our house in August. Her husband asked for photos of our finished remodel on October. By late Novermber/early December, that's when I saw a facebook post her living room was painted like ours). The look on her face as I walked in hearing our mutual acquaintance make that comment, you would think she was caught with her pants down. I went to the powder room to wash my hands, when I walked out, they were gone. Clearly, she rushed herself and our mutual acquaintance out of there because for fear of the truth being exposed that this was our idea and not hers.

Why couldn't she just simply tell our mutual acquaintance, "hey, let me introduce you to the person why helped me with this color scheme, with the accent wall, etc"., but no, she was trying to pass it off as her own and was caught red-handed. I'm sure she was embarrassed by that.

She's invited us at her place, but no mention of "hey, i guess you noticed i painted my living room the same as yours".

I always wonder what is the psychological reason why people would do that?? It's not like I'll never see it, specially since we live across the street and are invited to their place. Most importantly, what does that say about them, as a person, as a friend? After hearing, going through that scene, sometimes I wonder if they really are?