Me checking in

17 years ago

Hi just stopping in to say hi. Steph congrats on the new baby she is gorgeous. Sending special wishes and prayers and congrats to everyone who needs them I don't have much time to reply to all posts so I will just send them all here.

I am pretty much swamped with school, my schedual is crazy and I am working 24 to 36 hrs straight on the weekends. I am pretty happy though which is something I havent been in a long time. Focusing on myself and doing what I feel is right and what is right for me. I have found a new freedom since I have been seperated, I was never allowed to travel out of town much on my own, now I find myself going everywhere (safely) I travelled to Atlanta a month or so ago by myself was a 2 1.5 hr drive and I loved it, got my gps and I am free and on the road, when time allows lol. I am still seeing that guy and we do have fun together, he spoils me rotten but he also respects and strongly encourages my schooling, he knows I can't spend everyday with him but I do spend the nights with him when I just have work in the am, a 45 min drive to work is better then a 2 hr drive to school so school nights I stay at home and study. I am still getting over this crap I have in my lungs, seems to be breaking but I am having to use my inhaler many times durning the day for wheezing, but it seems to be lessening which is good.

I have lost 20 lbs since I left my marriage, my nails are long, my hair is done, I care about what I look like, I admit, I still have my moments since I do see my husband once in awhile at work(we work same place) and we are on speaking terms, we are friendly towards each other. We talked the other night and I told him that I did miss him and was sorry for everything that happend between us and he said the same thing, but he admitted also that he wasnt really to really talk deep about us and he did enjoy being alone, so to me at this moment is closure and I will now 100% with no guilt move on with my life, I opened the door for him and he didnt want to step through so there is not much more for me to do and I am fine with that choice. Life does go on, Life happens for a reason, I have found a new relationship with God and found a new relationship with myself, I lost my self for a long time, I never knew who I was, I was never happy and never wanted to do anything, now I have to focus on myself, and be hoenst with myself, but I have a plan and I will follow through, I will finish school and for my graduation gift I will trade in my suv and buy myself a new car or truck what ever I want or can afford. I will be ok, that is something I was so terrified about, I never had to rely on myself before. I just wanted to give yall an update.. hugs and will check in soon

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Comments (9)

phyllis__mn
17 years ago
Congratulations on your new outlook; may it continue always!

Phyllis
grinch_gut
17 years ago
You sound totally happy....Good for you! Stacy
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If you were planting seeds right now, it could save you. It's like this ... as soon as your feet hit the floor in the morning, you grab a cup of coffee and run for the closeted bowl of soaking seed packets. You then eye each one carefully to search for sprouted seeds. Then the real fun begins ... punch holes in cups, write crosses on them with a Sharpie, stuff them full of seed starter mix, make marks around the rims where you plant the seeds, punch litte oval holes in the mix with the eraser end of a pencil, gently place the seeds on their sides, cover them barely, set them in a pan of water, and put a baggie over the cup. You then refill the seed packets with fresh solution, stuff them back in the closet, and by then it is 12 noon. It then takes awhile to clean up your mess. This goes on and on, ad infinitum. In the meanwhile, you peer at all the cups of planted seeds to search for GREEN - the signal to remove the baggies. This should help you deal with your addiction, once the flowers have quit blooming. You might spend the afternoons tilling up more ground and adding compost, sand, alfalfa pellets, or other interesting additions. And don't forget to pull off the yellowing leaves every day - and pull up any invading weeds while you are at it. If you'd come on and move down here to Texas, you could also fight our fire ants --- get them before they get you! All of the above will not cure your addiction, but it will take the edge off it. Nancy
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About a month or so ago, I came home from work to be pounced on my 14-y-o DD (8th grade) who said, "Mom, can we NEVER borrow money to buy a TV or anything?" I'm thinking, WHAT? They'd done an exercise in math class in which this guy goes to buy a big-screen TV for $1,400. The store talks him into buying it on credit, in order to get a $50 discount, and he pays the minimum, nothing more, for 5 years. When he's done, he has paid something like $3,000 for the TV (I don't remember all the numbers, but it was really dramatic). It made a HUGE impact on her; she still brings it up now and then. So we talked a bit about borrowing money, and when to do it, and how to pay it off, etc. *** They also taught them about compounding interest, but I think they used a way-dramatic and unrealistic interest rate (like, 12% or something). But it got her thinking. ***** And when he was about 4, my son told me "When I grow up, I'm afraid I'm going to have to sleep on the street." Again, WHAT?! (how many times don't kids make you say that!) "You told me that you and daddy have to pay money to live in our apartment" (we own our apt, but we'd recently explained maintenance and mortgages to them) "And I don't have any money." So I had to explain a JOB to him. AND I told him that, should he lose his job, or have trouble getting his first job, that he could probably live with me & dad for a little while, and maybe he could stay with another family member, but just for a little while. (trying to strike a balance between making a 4-y-o feel safe, and setting the stage for him to think other people have to take care of him)
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There are soooo many issues with your living arrangement as well as your relationship with the kid's Dad, not the least of which that you are putting your 2 year old in daily danger because of the 13 year old. Your first obligation is to protect your son. If you embrace your "mother bear", you'll know exactly what to do. (Hint: MOVE OUT!!!) Date your boyfriend if you want to, but don't live with him. His parenting is a train wreck. Get yourself off the tracks.
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It was a dark and stormy night and our weather radio went off for at least 4 hours nonstop as tornadic circulations danced through the skies near us, but not many made it to the ground. A tornado touched down near Ringling in the county adjacent to us and headed towards Wilson, Healdton and Lone Grove. After spotters confirmed power flashes and a tornado on the ground near Ringling, they got a Particularly Dangerous Situation Tornado Warning and that got everyone in our county stirred up. And, that was the way it should been because all those communities at risk are right along the Carter-Love county line, so folks living near there should have been watching and even heading for shelter. We had spotters out, lots of traffic on our GroupMe app and radios, etc. but all we got out of this was hail, rain and wind as far as I know. Our final tornado warning, for the one seemingly headed towards us, was abruptly cancelled when that supercell abruptly jumped the river and headed away from us. Then we got pounded by a severe thunderstorm that dropped 1.25" of rain (more than we'd had the whole month of May so far) and, in some parts of our neighhborhood but not here, hail. I was more worried about hail than tornadoes because I have some huge onions bulbed up above ground but not yet developing soft necks. I had to resist the urge around midnight to run yank them out of the ground for their own good as big hail approached parts of our county. I found no damage in the garden except for 1 onion with a snapped neck (it wasn't at the soft neck stage so the wind merely broke its neck early), a rain gauge blown over and lying on the ground and another rain gauge totally missing. Ok, I'm out for the day. Y'all have a good time and let's be thankful that the wicked weather seemingly did little damage and missed most all of us. I hope the folks who haven't checked in are okay. I haven't watched the news yet to hear how folks outside of OK fared. I hope the damage across the country isn't as bad as they feared it would be. From watching TWC last night, I suspect there is a lot of wind damage in some areas across the country.
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luckygardnr
17 years ago
That's a wonderful outlook, Melanie. Congrats to you! The next time you're up in Stratford visiting your folks, let us know! I'd love to meet up again for another lunch, maybe with Ed and Ivamae, and Susan, and Nicole, Claude and family. I really enjoyed that day! We might even get a couple more Southern Ontario KTers involved!

Laurel
kacram
17 years ago
(((((( Melanie)))))
Way to go!
congratulations! you will be more than OK, you will be GREAT
jannie
17 years ago
Sounds like the worst is over, just keep going.
susan_on
17 years ago
I'm glad to hear you're doing so well, and Laurel is right. Next time you come up here, you'll have to let us know so we can get together again.
houstonmom_gw
17 years ago
Melanie:

I'm a lurker, but need to comment because we have several things in common! Our name is similar - I get called Melanie more often than Melody...and I have lung issues, too.

The lungs are the real reason for my response...this is sooo miserable, isn't it? I had been using my inhaler numerous times per day, without much relief until I started taking Mucinex, too!

Go get some Mucinex because it might really help you...at least I hope it does. I bought some from Walmart that specifically says it helps with chest congestion.

Hope you feel better!
ruthieg__tx
17 years ago
It is good to hear that you are making a new life for yourself...Congrats on your accomplishments.....
trinitytx
17 years ago
You sound like you are on your way to a complete and new you. Good for you. Let no one keep you hostage in life. No one. No one!!
Go with your bad self and do what makes you happy every day.

Trin

Me checking in

Comments (9)

phyllis__mn

grinch_gut

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