Dear nsf798, You don't know me, soforgive me for putting in my two cents. I don't have the problem you are having, I've got two girls who are 9 and 7 and they are very good friends and though they have their struggles they play together very well. I will say that they have very different personalities and that though the elder gets/deserves many perks for her maturity the younger one is more forward and agressive and often gets what she wants by being so pushy. I really agreed with paigct's comment that enlisting your son to help your younger daughter is one way to handle this, but I also kind of agree with whoever posted that what appears to be a problem from your point of view might not be from the little sisters point of view. That being said, I want to recommend two fantastic books by Nancy Samalin (don't know her and am not connected to her). At least I think they are both by her but on reflection I think one isn't. The first one is How to talk so children will listen and how to listen so children will talk. I found taht really invalable (more so as my children got older) in helping me think through the dynamics of an interaction before I got started, and also in helping me think about modeling solutions rather than talking about problems. Another great book, and I'm sure this is by samalin, is "loving each one best" a book about siblings. And the last great book is called "raising the optimistic child" or "raising an optimistic child." This is a great book for working with children on problem solving rather than blaming. It makes a good read along with "how to talk..." I guess what I'm trying to say is that 1) your son sounds like he is having a burgeoning problem with kids his age; 2) he may or may not have a problem with his little sister but you certainly have one with the way he is treating her; 3) some of these problems could be addressed by working with him on common courtesy. I have had the intersting experience of driving someone else's kids to summer camp for a week. What amazed me is that things that seemed to come naturally to my daughters simply had never even occured to the two little girls I'm now driving. Sharing a snack? forget it. Both of them stuffed their mouths for the entire drive without ever offering my girls a taste--even as my daughters instantly and courteously offered their snacks for sharing. Saying hello and goodbye to us in the morning and afternoon? forget it, it simply never occured to them. Thanking me for driving? apparently that was also inconceivable. The difference in age between me and these girls is considerable (some 40 years) but I'm as courteous to them as I would be to another adult. Which is by way of saying that I think the excuse that your son is 4 years older than his sister so he naturally gets to boss her around is, well, not right. You want him to have good manners whatever the age or station of the person he's with. Perhaps helping him see that close relations (whether family or friend) don't excuse bad behavior is the way to go. just my two cents abfab

LOL, yeah, they've all been pretty tacky :) I think you'd have to watch a whole season to understand the addiction . . . these people are in the house for 3 months - no contact whatsoever with anybody else, no TV, no newspapers, etc. After a short time, they completely forget there are cameras everywhere and it gets pretty ugly. You see them as their raw, unguarded selves. One of the first seasons showed a vengeful girl using another houseguest's toothbrush to scrub out a toilet . . . then putting it back into the toothbrush holder. There are no "normal" people here . . . they are all drama kings and queens who are completely narcissistic. It's just an opportunity to be a voyeur into the world of the 'I can't believe there are people who would do that stuff' kind of thing . . . hey, we have long, boring winters up here :) The 'strategy' revolves around keeping yourself aligned with a group so you have power in numbers when it comes to voting people out. This year they threw a monkeywrench into that area, because they are being voted out in teams of two - so whether or not one person in the team is liked or innocent (of whatever), they both go. The power in the house is constantly shifting; someone may be king of the world one week, and the bottom of the totem pole the next week. The first seasons didn't have people who knew each other . . . but in order to change/spice things up, the last few seasons started doing that. The BB motto is "expect the unexpected" so unlike Survivor, where things are always pretty much the same every year with different faces, BB shakes things up a lot. Also, by having it on 2 to 3 times a week, you REALLY get to know the houseguests . . . the good, the bad and the ugly :) They also have an uncensored version of the house on Showtime on late night. I can't stay up for much of it, but it's always stuff they could never show on primetime. This bunch has been wild as all getout at night . . . my 21 yr. old DD watches with me and I made her promise she'll NEVER EVER try out for this show . . . her poor old mother couldn't take watching her baby in a mess like that . . .

That was a waste of an episode. Glad I recorded it so I could fast forward.

debo, the comment Raven is referring to is worth looking up. It was a horrible thing for Jason to say and I can't even bring myself to repeat it. Sadly enough, Jason is one of the nicest ones in the house IMO, so what's that say about the rest of them??? lol Raven, like debo, I hope you can find a few moments to focus on something fun instead of the horror you have been going through. The house has been in complete chaos this week! (surprise!) It's all been about Jason's HOH and his winning POV. Raven and Matt were on the block. Jason promised Raven he would be taking her down. The original plan, or so Jason thought, was to take down Raven and put up Kevin, but still send Matt home. They were going to put up Kevin just to scare him, to put him in his place. Jason asked Kevin if he would go up against Matt, with Matt going home. Kevin didn't want to. The rest of the house was going to go behind Jason's back and vote out Kevin. Jason kept the noms the same, upsetting the whole house. Nearly every conversation has been a Kevin bashing party. After Jason kept noms the same, Raven went spastic... Matt went spastic. Matt, who hasn't had much to say to anyone all this time, finally found his voice, going off on both Jason and Kevin. There was a huge confrontation between Matt and Kevin that went on and on and on. Jason has been really uncomfortable about everyone's reactions. (imagine how he's going to feel after leaving the house and having to deal with the comments he made about Kev's wife and kids!) The whole house has been very mean to Kevin all week. Poor Kev, bless his heart, his best friend is whoever he is talking to at the moment. Whoever he is talking to he is swearing he will never vote against them. He just wants to be liked. He's being a total PIA, trying to cover up things he did and said, (mostly the 25K and who he did/didn't tell) and lying about it instead of owning up to anything. He's very mopey and mostly keeping to himself. Paul continues to work each of the pairs. I think Jason is beginning to become suspicious of Alex, as debo pointed out. Josh also is questioning things Paul is doing but he doesn't seem to be following his instincts, instead feeling Paul is loyal to him and Xmas. Paul instigated Josh going off on Kev but it seems like Josh and Kev have gotten past it for the moment. But they all want Kev gone for their own personal reasons. Matt.. good Lord I'll be glad to see him gone! He, a HN, has been breaking all the HN rules so he will get penalty votes and be voted out instead of Raven. He is showering with hot water, eating whatever he wants, not sleeping in HN room. BB keeps telling him to "stop that" but he tells them to f off. BB is now just letting a lot of it slide, not calling him out. Matt has been trying to get Kev to go off and possibly get kicked out of the house. Alex continues to be her same disgusting self. She took Kev's slop and either threw it out or hid it, making Kev think it was Raven that did it. Then Alex berated Jason for trying to help Kev make more slop. Paul, still playing all sides, made the slop for Kevin. Christmas continues to cozy up with Kev, go off on him, fuss him out, cozy up again, share info, then go and tell the rest of the house. I think I want her to win even less than Raven.