They sure do grow up fast don't they. I think you handled it perfectly by talking to her and not making a huge deal about it.

I think you did a good job of handling it. Do her other girlfriends act like that too?
Leslie

When Rob got to about 12 or 13, I couldn't BELIEVE how blatant those young girls were about chasing him. Hanging out in front of our house (under his bedroom window) with almost nothing on. Riding their bikes back and forth in front of his window incessantly. Phone calls all hours of the day and night (and hang ups if Larry or I answered). It was ridiculous.

Gawd I'm glad those days are over...

LOL

maybe the teacher can encourage Cody to speak up if he's uncomfortable.

Also, your SAYING something isn't going to make a difference.

It's only when something bad (i.e., something your DD doesn't like, like privileges taken away, or being grounded, or punishment) happens that she'll change her behavior.

If Cody says something and it makes her feel bad, then she might stop.
Or if one of the other kids does.

If that happens, be sure to point out that it's a natural consequence of acting like a dork, and that you agree w/ them that she IS acting like a dork, and that if she doesn't want that to happen, she shouldn't act like a dork.

In other words, don't sympathize w/ her too much when the inevitable happens.

does she have any other male figures in her life? maybe grandpa or an uncle, best pal can spend a little more time with her...kind of giving her a little guidence from a male point of view...

If you can afford it, put her in charm school. Normally, 12-14 is the recommended age, but there is no such thing as normal anymore when 8 year olds are menstruating and 10 year olds are chasing boys. I didn't know what a crush was at 10 but now, we have to push our standards back a few years. Charm classes will teach proper behaviors and while it probably won't address such circumstances as these, it will strengthen her sense of importance and validate what you say to her concerning this. Teaching her how to carry and present herself, how to walk, how to sit, how to get into and out of a car, meal etiquette, and all else will soon make her see that chasing boys is beneath her. She'll learn she is to expect and is not expected.

Charm school sounds interesting but I don't think there's anything like that in our area. She is in dance twice a week (on a competition team), takes art and riding lessons so she has a lot to keep her busy. Her computer use is very supervised, as is her phone use. I closely monitor her tv and music choices for content. We live out in the country so she doesn't just hang out with her friends. She's not a "girly-girl" and up to just recently, boys were just friends. She did have a boy in 2nd grade that she was "in love" with. They had big plans to get married when they were grown and be just like the Crocodile Hunter and his wife. They were going to live in the jungle in a tree house with a bush baby. They were really cute. I suppose when this boy gets tired of her silliness he'll let her know. She may be hurt but as Talley Sue says sometimes you've just got to live and learn.

My DD is not that old yet, she's 8. But my boys are older, I have a 5th grade DS. The girls in his class are of a wide range of maturity. Some are still playing w/dolls, some are already boy crazy. Some dress and look like little girls, some dress and look like teenagers. The girls reflect a bigger range of maturity levels than the boys do at this point. They boys are still sloppy, loud goofballs and mostly focused on food and sports, not so much girls.

I'd talk "with" her more than "to" her. She must be getting something out of this, some feeling she enjoys. The attention or approval of other girls, a response from Cody, something that makes it worth her effort to keep doing it. I'd want to figure that out and would ask a lot of questions. What exactly does she mean by "hot?" and "going together?" What does she like about Cody, what does she think he likes about her? I just really think you need to understand her motivation for this behavior so you can figure out how to help get whatever she's feeling emotionally in a more healthy way. Don't assume you know her motivation, talk to her to understand better, get it in her own words. (Then ban the word "hot" in referrence to another person. ;o) )

The teacher will handle whatever problems she causes in the classroom, by moving her and whatever the discipline is for being disruptive. At home, I would not punish her specifically for this behavior, but for whatever the result is. In other words, for lower grades and/or behavior report from the teacher, if those happen.

I'm with Talley Sue, she's not gonna stop just b/c mom says to stop. She will stop when she doesn't get whatever positive reinforcement she is getting anymore and instead gets something negative. That will probably hurt her feelings, but then she'll learn. As long as her peers encourage it, she is gonna keep doing it no matter what you say. She'll just think you don't know what you're talking about. ;o)

This is probably an extension of that outgoing personality of hers that makes her tomboyish. She is taking an emotional risk that maybe her friends would not take.

I am sad to say that in fact some boys find her behaviour very appealing. They like the attention although they may not truly understand what they are getting into by accepting a girls advances. To me and you it would be terribly embarrassing!
Every kid is different. My middle girl doesn't really like me pointing out her faults, I have to dance around problems a little. She wears her heart on her sleeve. If I can help her see things as though she thought of it herself, that works the best. My second child, She can take it like a man, so to speak. I could tell her just about anything and she hasn't lost a bit of confidence. She will take what I have to say and use it, if she wants.

Adults are like that, one size answer doesn't fit all. IMO I think its important that you talk to her like you have been. She's going to have to take a few falls, make some mistakes, maybe make some choices (we wouldn't) that work fine for her but At least you have done your part and that knowlege WILL be in her head somewhere.
Remember this to shall pass. You'll have stories she will be totally embarrassed by when she's older.

When my Daughter was in 4th grade she and a Neighborhood boy were Bestfriends. Paling around all the time. Then one day he told her he loved her. She told him "you are my bestfriend you can't be in love".

Then one day he told her. "Do you know how hard it is to be madly in love with someone and they just consider you a friend".

When she told me I had to hide my smirk. Long story short, we moved away. 4 years later, we were in the area and stopped by to visit him. Then... Time went by and 5 years later we stopped in to visit again. He's Gay!

My Daughter said "I knew it, I ruined him". LOL!

Gayle

My DD is in 5th grade and still plays with dolls! The hugs concern me a bit. That is inappropriate for school. She could be violating some rules there "keep your hands and feet to yourself". If she is bothering him, it could be considered harrassment. I think she will not let up with Valentine's Day coming up. I think you are doing about all you can. I would keep in contact with the teacher about this situation to make sure it doesn't get any worse.

In seventh grade I had a crush on a boy named Randy. We sat next to each other in study hall. I wore makeup and perfume to get his attention, but we never spoke. I wonder what became of him. . .

When i was in 3rd grade and in 4th grade, I was in love with Wesley Walters. We walked home from school every day, held hands--it was quite the established thing.

Some other girls in our class took him out behind the band building and talked to him. When they came back, he told me they'd said he shouldn't be my boyfriend anymore, and that was the end of that.

I asked him if HE wanted to be my boyfriend, and he just said, "they said I shouldn't."

I remember being really mad at him for believing them. And also, of course, mad at them.

I am only now wondering if what happened was that one of the girls told of our "romance," and her parent reacted along the lines of "they're too young," and that's what prompted the girls' actions?

I still remember the girl I blamed for it, and I held it against her to this day.