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Dealing with a spouse who works afternoons

17 years ago

My husband has been stuck working afternoons for the last 2 years. Is anyone else married to someone who works afternoons? How do you handle the stress and pressure of being the only one home at night to cook dinners and take care of the kids? What are your spouses sleep patterns like? Do they get up with you in the morning, or do they sleep most of the morning?

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Comments (6)

bnicebkind
17 years ago
Start with the dinner issues. Crock pot cooking is no longer your mama's crock pot cooking. Buy a large crock pot, and pull up "5-star crock pot recipes with reviews" on the computer. The dinners will be better than a lot of restaurants, and certainly better than take out meals. If you work, have him put the food in the crock pot, and the house will smell great and dinner will be one thing you will not have to worry about.

I don't know the ages of your kids, but if homework is a huge hassle, I have friends that get an older neighbor kid to come by and help them with homework. They pay them a few bucks and hour, and the kids work better with the neighbor kid than they do for her.

I'll let someone else pitch in on your other questions.
mom2emall
Original Author
17 years ago
Thanks! I do have a crock-pot and am going to check out some new recipies for it online!

I was working full-time until this school year. It just got to be too much for me and the kids! We were all miserable! So dh and I had many discussions and agreed that it would be better if I did not work. After summer was over I realized how much we could really use more money!

So, I have been working part-time. I work at my ss's school in the mornings while he is in half-day kindergarten and I get off work when he is done with school for the day. On school holidays I babysit one of my other sons friends for extra cash.

All in all it is so much less stressful than last year was when I worked full-time.

And my husband does not like his shift either, when jobs open up on other shifts he will be applying for them. But he can't leave his job and find a new one. He has been there a few years and loves what he does there. He gets good raises and makes good money there, and the health insurance and benefits are awesome! Even my son is able to be on his health insurance.

I just find myself kind of lonely at times. And I just am not able to stay up and see him most nights. I get up at 6am every day and by the time he gets home I am exhausted if I am even still awake!

I really miss him and the time we used to have together.

We do little things like have "date nights" once a month on one of his days off. We have lunch together with ss each day after me and ss get home and before he leaves for work.

It is just so hard. And I try not to complain much to him because I know it is just as hard on him because he wants to be at home more. He does request days off on occasion just so we all get extra time together and with the kids. And on weekends he gets up early and makes it to all the kids games and events with us.

I was just looking for some feedback from others who have been in this situation and how they deal.
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jessyf
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Yup my DH worked 12 to 14 hours for two years, hard hours, and he was exhausted when he came home. I am a full time mom so its a bit easier for me, even though I was operating as a single mom. I found the afternoons and evenings to be crazy! A crockpot is good, and so is a pressure cooker, if you can find one cheap (Target, Costco). Beef stews in 15 minutes. Come on over to the Cooking Forum, we'll help you with dinner. Nice people over there (no kkny, TOS etc.......).

These years will pass, I promise. Your DH's schedule will change.

Unsolicited advice: next time BM calls, don't hand the phone over to the kids, put her on speakerphone with you or DH instead, supervising the calls?
christinanava25_yahoo_com
15 years ago
Hi,
my husband just recently started working afternoons from 2-11pm, I have 3 children ages 8, 3, and 1. It is getting very hard for me to adjust to this schedule.. I feel like a single mom. I see him in the mornings for 10 minutes and I go to work. I feel like I only see him on weekends. We are lacking intimacy. I am feeling depressed, and dont think I can handle it anymore. Can you give some advice to me?
asolo
15 years ago
"Can you give some advice to me?"

Not as much "advice" as simply observation......

There are 10,000 different ways to run a household. Apparently this is the one you two have chosen as opposed to any of the others.

If you don't like it, make a different choice.

If DH doesn't know how upset you are, I suggest you tell him immediately.
popi_gw
15 years ago
Denise

Who looks after the children ? Is your plan for hubbie to look after them when you work and for you to care for them when he works ?

Family life is equally as important as work life. I suggest you look at ways to save money and one of you stay home and run the household. Or you can find different ways of working at the same time perhaps.

3 children is a lot of work, they are your priority at this time in your life. It is tough having a family and making ends meet, paying bills.

Think laterally, start a home business, perhaps.

People always get by, but remember to put family first, it is very important.

It gets a lot easier when the children are older. You and your husband can work day and night then !

Good luck.

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