I am going through all of my files, and have just started on my personal folder. I throw things in there while cleaning up the my home office, where everything seems to end up.

I am not sure where I was going when I wrote this letter, and I think I was trying to be humorous. I am not sure if he even ever saw it. I guess to be from about 4-5 years ago. Enjoy.

This is what I wrote:

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Since I will be gone for a couple of weeks, I thought it best that I leave you a few pointers on running the house smoothly in my absence.

As you probably already know, this home runs with little to no effort on my part. This frees me up to spend most of my time on the computer and what precious little is left over, well, we both know that Judge Mathis needs at least 2 hours of my day.

Step 1

Be sure to feed the animals once a day. If they begin to drink from the toilets or maul the garbage can in the kitchen, ask yourself-did I remember to feed them? If the answer is no - repeat step 1.

If the cats throw up, do what I do- wait 10 minutes as they will usually eat it back up. But DO NOT consider this a meal for them, but rather a recycle that does not require any clean up.

The dog, if hungry, will tend to retreat to the kitty litter box for a snack. Although it appears as though she is enjoying a piece of almond rocha, make her spit it out. It is not good for her. And I recommend you do not kiss her on the lips the rest of the day.

As far as the yard goes, do not water anything in this searing heat. It only runs up the bill and doesn't do any good anyway. Hopefully all the weeds will flounder the same fate as the grass and dissappear.

If any plants seem the least bit droopy, just do what I do and lop them off at the stock. I can always have more delivered and planted at no charge to us.

I have left plenty of home cooked healthy meals in the freezer for you. They are the ones on the second shelf with the Kroger bar codes on them. Enjoy!!

Your loving Wife

Judy