I don't have an answer for you, Satine, but I can commiserate. I have many days like that--and then I'll have a day when I suddenly have energy again, and I get a lot done. I'll ask myself how I got energetic, but again I have no answers. (I used to question my bad days; now I question my good ones.)

I know that pain is exhausting, and I have a fair amount of it myself, but then I wonder what came first, the pain or something else. It's crazy-making trying to sort these things out.

I also know that taking action tends to make us feel better, so I try to apply the "baby steps" rule and accomplish something on those days, no matter how small. Productivity breeds productivity.

But sometimes I just let myself zone out in front of the computer and "screen suck." :-)

Think of this scenario....
You are in front of God, who says, "I gave you this beautiful, wonderful day. What did you do with it?"

That has the potential of adding guilt to our other problems, Luann.

I'm sitting here avoiding all that has to be done, too. Company coming is my great motivator but sometimes I don't get started until 5:00 , 6:00, 7:00 at night. It all seems to get done in the end. You're in good company. I think it's an accumulation of many years of cleaning and we just don't want to do it anymore. DH just reminded me that we're leaving on vacation in a week and I shouldn't put everything off until the last minute. Hah!

Satine - I can relate. Sometimes this biggest hurdle is just getting started.

Some people use a timer set for 15-minutes. You'd be surprised at what can be accomplished in that time! Others find monumental tasks overwhelming, and need to break them down. For instance, maybe just give attention to ONE room instead of considering the whole house. Sometimes within that room, you can break it down further: start with decluttering flat surfaces, and work clockwise or counter -clockwise around the room - this way you will see immediate progress.

Those are just some ideas off the top of my head.

When dealing with pain and depression, I've learned not to over-schedule -- and I've learned to give in to my less-than-productive days, knowing that better days are ahead!

satine - may I suggest you begin exercising, even if only a little? I do have the same problem as you, and I feel like it has come not only because of getting older, but because I have done lots of nothing in the form of exercise over the winter. Add on top of that that I have gained a good deal of weight since I quit smoking last June. I work part time but the kind of work I have been doing has not helped me keep active.

On those days that I do have to get active (I work in a garden shop) I feel so much more motivated, and in fact, invigorated. It's only been the last week that I have been trying to do some indoor exercising, and not as much as I should, but I am feeling better. My next step is to get back to walking.

I stepped on the scales for the first time last week. I have never weighed this much in my entire life, including during three pregnancies. That was my motivation. :)

With my mother having to be put in Assisted Living, all the heartache that accompanied that both before, during and after, I too, have been under a great deal of stress and experience some depression. If I don't do something now to pick myself up, get some exercise, lose some weight, I know my health is going to be greatly affected.

Since last summer, DH has been doing the majority of our housework. Can you imagine how dirty my house is? :)

I hope you can find something to get you moving. Will you join me on my "Just Do It" campaign?

I make lists - I have a notebook that I put every chore I need to do in. It's such a wonderful feeling to put a line through that chore and mark it 'DONE'!!!!

Well, I responded to Luann and Alisande but the post never made it to KT. Luann I understand what you mean and Im glad that you have something to keep you on the "straight and narrow" . However that just doesn't work for me. Alisande, I don't feel guilty (about Luann's post) but at the same time it isn't something that helps me. I just think between the pain and the depression I have just given up. I think I may need to bite the bullet and get some dr. appt lined up. Also I know my mood is affected way too much by other people who might not be in a great place- - I have a habit of taking on everyone's troubles. Thanks to everyone and I'll ty the 15 minute trick. Satine

Sorry you are having pain. Perhaps you need a couple days good rest. Stay in your PJ's, watch TV, don't leave home. Maybe a couple days of pampering will leave you well-rested and eager to tackle your housework.

having a check up is a good idea, many times these kinds of changes occur due to changes in our body and health, getting a check up with blood work up can help detect things early before it gets much worse. Things like thyroid fluctuations, imbalance of vitamins and minerals, sugar levels, iron etc are just a few that can cause some of those very symptoms. Your body may be talking to you.

I can't do much at a time these days so I also do it in time allotments. A 15 minute spot will wear me down so I then go sit and if possible do a task while sitting. I just folded one load of clothes while on my rest break. Now I need to get another load from the bedroom to the laundry room and in the washer. I already know that will be enough to require another break. But doing it in small spurts does get it done. Just takes longer at my pace these days. I am however very thankful and fortunate that I still have the abilities that I do have, there's many with so much less.

I am not dealing with depression (please, get yourself to a doctor!) or with any serious pain, so my answer may not apply to you, but here it goes ...

I concentrate on routines, and try not to even think about whether I'm motivated. Motivation is ephemeral, and if I wait on it to get things done, I don't get much done.

So I have my daily house routines - make the bed, keep the sink clean, clear the coffee table, sweep the floor, do a load of laundry, take my walk. I have my daily work routines - return calls, call clients for the next day, review next week's cases. And I make lists that include three "must do" items for each day.

Sounds incredibly boring, and when was younger, I would have felt it far too restrictive and uncreative, but in reality, it keeps my life under some control and makes me feel freer.

Usually I just remind myself that I deserve better... and cleaner, and that gets me going.

Hope you pulled yourself out of your funk by now. I just got home from work.

Moni

I motivate myself because I have to go work everyday! While working can be a pain at times, I am nevertheless very thankful for the sense of accomplishment, involvement, and the relationships it provides me. Frankly I am not sure where my motivation would come from once retired. I don't intend to retire (God willing) until age 70 and hope to have a good plan for motivation (volunteer work or the like) in place when I do.

Marita, you hit 'Bingo' for me - I've been retired for 4 years and would love to have a 3-day per week job, just to break up my routine. I have plenty of real responsibilities, believe me - raising my 11-yr. old Grandson keeps me hopping, as do my 2 dogs, yard work, housework, etal.

It's just, for the most part, the same routine day after day - don't get me wrong - I wouldn't change much, even if I could. I throw a thrift store shopping spree in once a week, just to break up the routine responsibilities!

Several years ago I had clinical depression and I also had a lot of joint pain.....not severe but just enough to keep me from getting started doing anything.
The doc put me on Cymbalta and it made a big difference.....however, it was hard on my liver so I had to quit.
I went on different anti-depresants and noticed my mood was improved but my aches and pains didn't improve as they did with the Cymbalta.
I started exercising and have been off anti-depressants and have less pain.....but I still have lazy days.
I read a book by the same woman who wrote Pay It Forward.
It has really made a difference in my life.....I no longer feel like I have to be in charge of everyone.....I don't have to do everything perfectly and I don't have to finish a task all at once.
The book is Long Steep Path by Catherine Ryan Hyde.
I hope you feel better soon.
Keep us updated, please.

Hi again satine,

Visit the bathroom.

Look in the mirror.

Get that "teacherly", serious expression on your face.

Shake your finger at yourself.

Use whatever words that your feel appropriate.

Maybe that'll help.

ole joyful

P.S. Give yourself a smile ... and a wink ... at the end, O.K.?

Conspiratorial-like.

o j

Well, it is helping me just to read these posts and realize others are going through what I am going through, similar to Satine. There are simply too many days that I cannot get going, nor is there any real reason to get going. My job was eliminated almost three years ago and since I was close to retirement age, I just stopped working. It was awful, one day I thought I would be working at my job for another three years and the next day I was out of a job -- no warning, no time to prepare for retirement.

I wish now that I had immediately looked for a part time job. Although I did not enjoy my last job, I do miss being part of the hustle and bustle of the working world, the camaraderie with my co-workers and having a purpose in life. I also miss my paycheck and benefits!!

Anyway, there are too many days when I just can't get going. However, on the days when I do get going, I feel one thousand percent better. It's just those first few steps to get going that are hard.

Today was a good day. I knew I had to go to the bank, so last night I made a list of things I needed/wanted to do. Once I got going, I was fine. It sounds ridiculous, but one of my biggest stumbling blocks is what to wear! All I ever wore was suits to work and then sloppy stuff around the house. I still don't have enough casual but presentable clothing.

Anyhoo, making a list really seems to help. I write down what I want to do and then force myself to do the first item and the rest follow much more easily.

I have book club at my house on Thursday, so I've been doing some clean up and prep for that. Helps to have a deadline! I'd love to have a part time job.

Dedtired, you reminded me of a saying I once heard - "The hardest part about running is lacing up your shoes." As you said, it's hard to get going.

I guess everybody has bad days and some worse than others. I agree that moving helps but right now I am lucky to get through the grocery store because of the pain. I am good about keeping up with physicals etc and recently had a complete blood workup with all coming back normal. I am on medication for depression and attend a support group once a week and see a counselor every two weeks or so. I guess my next step is back to the orthopaedic doc who did my meniscus repair last year. Guess Im just falling apart. I hope everyone who is having some trouble right now can find some answers in all the responses that have been posted. Good people here. Satine

Exercise is what keeps me going, cause it's part of my social life as well.

Otherwise, I just sit, which isn't good for my body particularly at my age.

Having company is motivation for me, to get moving, cleaning, putting up clutter, but that is a rare occasion for me: company.

You have been through a lot lately so I am not too surprised that you are feeling low.

Please, call your doctor tomorrow. Explain you life to him/her. All you may need is an adjustment to your current meds.

If I remember correctly, your daughter was putting up her child for adoption and you were in full agreement. You may be grieving for the "loss" of your grandchild and this is perfectly normal.

As for your pain, the commercials are right on target. Depression hurts. It is a horrible cycle. The lows hurt and you are low because you hurt.

Please, if you do nothing else tomorrow, call your doctor and your therapist.

I have intermittent foot and back problems and when it goes on for too long, I too get depressed because I can't get much done. I suppose that's the reason so many elderly people on their own find themselves dealing with depression--unable to do much without help, if they're lucky enough to have that. My friend who works a lot uses the paper bag method--dump all the stuff lying around into bags then toss them in a closet or an upstairs bedroom, if you have one. However, I did that once and completely forgot about--out of sight, out of mind--the bag and its contents. It contained some paperwork that was quite necessary. :) Hang in there, Satine. You have lots of good company and I would guess your guests don't really care what your house looks like. Clean the living room and bathroom and shove stuff in the kitchen to the back of the counters. Then call it done!

When I'm bogged down, I just concentrate on The Three D's- Dinner, Dishes, Duds. Prepare good healthful meals, do your dishes daily and keep up with your laundry. Don't do any "other" housework. Spring will come, your mood will lift, you will soon be able to get more done!

It is definitely hard to get going some days.I wish I could help you out, even though, I've got plenty here. I am a big list maker. I try to list the things that MUST be done or have time restrictions (can't go to the bank, post office at night) first. I feel like it organizes my thoughts and give me a plan of attack.

I also do the 10 minute or 1 task at a time. I try and "reward" myself. I can play on the computer once I do some of my chores or cleaning. If standing is difficult, then alternate a task where you stand (washing dishes) then do one where you can sit, folding laundry. That may give you a bit of a rest.

I know chronic pain can be quite depressing. But there are small exercises you could do while sitting. Pretend you are holding a weight and curl your arms. Try 5 or whatever you can manage without pain. Straighten your arms out and touch your nose etc. There are probably good websites to show you a variety of moves. I think getting your blood flowing even a little will help. When you are feeling better, small walks are good and water aerobics is great since there is no impact.

So hope that helps you a little!!

A quote from Mark Twain helps keep me moving. "Do something every day that you don't want to do."

It might be tackling a stack of dirty dishes, de-cluttering and organizing a closet, cleaning a bathroom or figuring out finances for the month. I also insist that everyone in the house do their part to clean their messes.

I have found that depression comes upon me when I let things pile up and then feel bogged down afterward. I had severe lower back pain for many months after we moved into our older home, but had so many projects I was working on and couldn't afford to hire them out.

After a solid year of painting, fixing, etc I was worn out and depressed. I decided to quit fixing and just concentrate on standard housework, plus doing one other thing I didn't want to do that day. I still have a couple years to complete some house fixes, but seeing even minor progress keeps severe depression at bay.

Right now I'm de-cluttering and taking loads to Goodwill. I don't have energy for a garage sale where I might be lucky to make $200, and just want things gone so there is less to manage. It's freeing!

I also allow myself an occasional day where I stay in bed and read and do nothing vital all day. By the next day I feel more motivated.

When I feel bogged down, and it seems that nothing I could do would make a dent; I do ONE THING. Well, that's what I intend to do anyway. One thing most usually leads to another and another, but if it doesn't...that's ok....I did the ONE THING I set out to do. Even if that ONE THING is taking a dish to the kitchen.

Movement breeds motivation. I understand that's hard to do when you're in pain, but it's true just the same. You sound like you have a plan to talk to your dr. That's a great idea. I hope you get some relief.

Something else I came to realize not too long ago...there are NO perfect people. No one has a spotless house all the time. No one is pain free all the time. I've forgiven myself for not being perfect. And, to top it off...I've been a lazy perfectionist ie procrastinator. If for some reason (time, money etc) I felt a job couldn't be done to my (perfectionist) satisfaction, I'd just put it off and put it off. HELLO!! JUST DO IT! Just because I couldn't get on my hands and knees and scrub every speck of dirt off that kitchen floor didn't mean I couldn't grab a mop and at least make it look better! Silly me!

So, I guess what I'm saying is, forgive yourself for not getting everything done that you want to do and do what you can and be proud of youself for doing that. Those who love you probably know you are in pain and they don't care if your house is spotless. They want to spend time with you, not your house.

P.S. For a kitchen floor with dirty spots, I just wet a few paper towels with HOT water, throw it down and use my foot to get the spots up. Easy peasy, unless this bothers your legs.

I can hardly believe all the wonderful responses I got to this post. I guess we are all so much alike in so many ways. You all had either great motivating ideas or great understanding of my situation. I have to report that I actually was/am suffering from a bit of a stomach bug and the first symptom was fatigue followed by-well-you know. I had to pick up my daughter yesterday, take her to a dr. appt and then drive back to my house with her. Today is her birthday and for the first time in a long time (well last year we were with her for the day but she was in rehab) that we can be together with at least part of the family. Anyway I was in bed by 8:30 last night and slept until 8:30 this am. Im feeling better but am very very careful about eating. Mostly just keeping my fluids up. Also yesterday was the 12th anniversay of my husbands death so that also explains the emotional upset. Just wanted to report back and thank you all again so much. I wish there were more people in the world like the people at KT. Satine

Satine please go for a check up, I had one year of being in a fog like state with brain fog. It turned out to be hypothyroidism. Many years went by and then I got the feeling again. Turned out to be dangerously low Vitamin D levels. Now I'm very aware of my mind and body and get to the dr. immediately. I know what you feel and, if something else is stressing you like me just putting in a week of my granddaughter having test after test to see if her six centimeter tumor was cancer, then your just a dishrag and can do nothing. I'm a neat freak by nature but during this week my house looks a mess. It all turned out fine, benign. Whew!

Satine, just clean the rooms people will be in, like the bathroom and kitchen. Get the plates, silverware, etc., out and placed where you want them. (Don't know if it's buffet or sit-down.) Order a centerpiece or buy flowers from the grocery. Guess you have your menu planned, but you can chop, dice or slice in advance. Buy the birthday cake unless you have a special request.

Oops, see I'm too late. Glad it went well and it's over--also glad to see your daughter doing so well.

This post was edited by patti43 on Thu, Aug 15, 13 at 14:42

I have to work off of a list. I don't know why, but that motivates me....to see items scratched off a list, and like someone said, getting the first thing done helps a lot.