Wow.... the writer was "spot on" with most of his comments! Very funny. Thanks for sharing.

That was great...Now I'll think of all those things when I'm watching any of them. I've often wondered what Jeffrey thinks of Ina partying down all week.

Personally I thought it was pretty lame. I think most of us could have come up with something more entertaining. Just my 2 cents.

Duane

Duane:

You go first.

Joe

Okay, I didn't mean to demean the laughter Sushipup had over the article. Anything that makes folks laugh is a good thing....and different things strike different people's funny bones. I also don't know many of the food network 'stars', so perhaps the reviews/comments were lost on me. But here goes with what I know:

Rachael Ray: She is paid per 'giggle' and every time she says EVOO the food network gives her a million dollars. She always mentions all of these friends she cooks for, but we never see them. Imaginary? Very likely.

The Neelys: They act so happy as a married couple I'm sure they secretly hate each other. They may not be brother and sister, but there is most likely a connection between them via a cousin. Annoying and ...well....annoying. The token black couple on the Food Network channel. They could do better, but just my opinion.

Giada De Laurentis: Her head is actually a Macy's day balloon which was reconnected onto her 'fake boob' body. Her teeth are not human. They were taken from a shark that washed up on the pacific coast.

Danny Boome; Never heard of him. Next;

Guy Fieri: The most entertaining and genuine dude on the Food Network. About the only "Guy" I would really like to hang out with.

Sandra Lee: She loves to cook around her mostly alcohol related parties as long as it doesn't take too long. Look for her in the back room with whatever guest is interested in her 'droopies'.

Paula Dean: Paula tests experimental drugs for The Pfizer Corporation. This results in side effects that may account for her constantly cackling like a chicken and occasionally barking during show taping.
"The above is true and accurate"

The Dean Boys; They support their extravagant beer/miniature golf lifestyle by brazenly embezzling from their motherÂs restaurant. Also, each brother thinks that the other one is gay.
"Also true and accurate"

Iron Chef Judge Jeffrey Steingarten: Who cares about this guy?

Tyler Florence: Decent guy with decent recipes. Likes women, no issues there. Give him a break.

Nigela Lawson: Her breasts are insured by Lloyds of Liechtenstein for:
Right 1 million pounds
Left 850,000. pounds (it is the slightly smaller of the two.)
"Maybe true, I have more important things to do than calculate the approximate weight of each of her boobs".

Alton Brown: He is actually much more boring than he appears to be.
"I actually learn a few things from him. Some annoying parts of his show get on my nerves, but I do like he tries to explain the scientific reasons behind some things. Like baking, which is a very intricate science, particularly with bread".

The Chairman Of Iron Chef: "Don't know this guy at all"...another..."who cares?"

Ina Garten: "I don't know. She is a strange one, and her husband only shows up to eat. Not sure about her. Maybe this isn't a funny comment, but I can't think of anything to say mean just to make a 'funny'.

That's it folks...next:

Duane

Through his unintelligible mumbling, Tyler Florence has managed the impressive feat of hosting a cooking show while keeping all of his recipes a well-guarded secret. While cooking on the show, he's actually naming colors he likes, reciting state capitals, and insulting people who were mean to him in High School. :-D

My favorite part of Iron Chef is when Mark DaCascos (aka, the Chairman's nephew) unveils the secret ingredient.

Secret ingredient!

Here's Ming Tsai talking about Morimoto

(Yes I watch Youtube videos on my iPhone in bed when I should be getting my beauty sleep!)

That was entertaining. And I have to admit, none of these characters annoy me all that much. Well, Paula's acksint bothers me just a little bit, yao'll.

The one who I hope never ends up on my crosshairs, is the Harvard graduate, Jeffrey Steingarten.
With as many notches as this guy has under his belt, you'd think he'd quit holding his fork like a 3 year old holds a sand shovel.

Sol

Duane - Though it might pain me a tad to admit it, in the end you made me laugh more than the original did. Nice job stepping up to the challenge!

I did laugh at the Deen boys and Ina ones!

DH and I have commented to each other about all the "wildly handsome gay guys" that visit Ina Garten. We've wondered if that's all there is on (in?) the Hamptons.

Sally

Sol, I agree, Jeffrey Steingarten ought to be skewered with....something. He's obnoxious AND rude.

I did laugh about the Deen boys and Paula, she's become almost a caricature, I get the feeling she's channeling Dolly Parton!

And I've always wondered why Ina only lunches with good looking gay guys. I like her low key personality and most of her recipes but you'll never convince me that anyone is going to take all those palm trees and flowers out onto a beach where the wind is blowing about 30 MPH and set them up for a lovely lunch. (grin) Or that there isn't any sand in those burgers....

I love Nigella, though, she's not afraid to go on camera in her pajamas eating a bite of cold pork chop right from the fridge. Kind of like my house, although my boobs aren't insured. LOL

Annie

If I could have written this article...it would be exactly the same...that was scary reading... Glad to see there is somebody out there who thinks just like me...By far the most entertaining is Guy Fieri. Don't understand the Iron Chef thing..was never interested. I keep hoping they can come up with something more interesting than that show. june

Yes thats basically whats there and major snobs...and I can say it I deal all the time living here! There was a time when you could actually enjoy the east end but now I stay away until the "SEASON" is over!

I find Jeffrey Steingarten to be amusing. I read about 2/3 of his book, and got tired of it, although it was a pretty good, not great book. It was written way back in the late '80s's and early '90's. I guess he hasn't written any more books, which is surprising. I really like Mo Rocca and Ted Allen on Iron Chef, but I haven't seen them on it in a long time.

I'll remember your advice, Eileen! (Not that I anticipate ever going to The Hamptons, but if I do, I'll follow your advice, lol.)

Sally

Jeffrey Steingarten is also the long-time Vogue food writer (not restaurant reviewer). I don't mind him - the judges need to be entertaining too and I'm sure they are prompted to be lively. Isaac Mizrahi was a guest judge recently and he just appreciated and loved all the food - he was stuffing his face the whole time. I would probably do the same -- unless the secret ingredient was tripe or something.

I love Iron Chef, including the original Japanese series - it's still on cable too.

Something REALLY bothers me. I was in line at the grocery store and saw the cover of Paula Deen's magazine.

The woman is 60 some years old and she is air-brushed to look like she is 35. Seriously, if it wasn't for the "white" hair she'd look 30 (on the cover of the magazine).

What's wrong with making her look like she REALLY looks? All I could think was -- what a phoney.

Gina, the original Iron Chef is on satellite TV in the evening too, I don't remember what channel, except that it's 230 on my TV, Food Network is 231.

I like it too, I love the announcer that translates everything into English.

And, like you, if I got a chance to judge I'd be so busy stuffing my face that I wouldn't be able to give it a score, every match would end in a tie.

If Jeffrey Steingarten didn't insult everyone who disagreed with him and act so darned self-important, he'd be more tolerable. Personal taste as it pertains to food is subjective but he treats disagreement like it's a personal attack.

Annie