What you have been asked to do, if true, is highly illegal. If the police become involved, whether it is claimed to be a joke or not, there will still be strong consequences- it's not legal even as a "joke".

Do not comply. If they're so worried about your husband disrupting their July 4 fun, tell them to have their own party elsewhere.

Sounds like your husband and his family/family's friends are a piece of work. Why do you stay? Surely there's a better life out there for you if you would only go looking for it.

This is insane.

Not only would your husband know you did it & punish you when he recovered,
not only is there a possibility that the drugs would put him in the hospital & the police would come after *you* for attempted murder,
not only might he, depending on what other medications he takes that day or how much alcohol he has, actually die, & then you'd be in jail for the rest of your life, & your in-laws would be in shock & deny that they'd ever dream of saying anything like this to you;
(they'd be at the trial every day, weeping into their delicate hankies),
but there's *no future* with this bunch.

This horrible, violent, disfunctional family dynamic has been going on since long before you came onto the scene, & nothing you can do will change it.

You won't elevate him or his family;
he & his family will drag you into their nightmare.

Do not confide in these people, do not speak to them if possible, & get away from the whole bunch.

Be sweet, smile, offer them coffee (!), but don't volunteer anything.
No matter what you say, it'll be turned against you.

A man whose behavior is so violent that his own father wants him drugged to keep him under control is a powder keg that *will* explode.

Call a women's center & get some guidance.

They've heard it all before, they've been through it with other women, & they know what to do.

I wish you the best.

This post was edited by sylviatexas on Sun, Jun 29, 14 at 15:35

My husband has tried for a divorce twice now, When he returned from the navy I was already diagnosed as a bi polar, the first Time I was put into a mental ward after He came back the state forced him into a guardianship, The only way he can get a divorce is if my mother or sister are willing to take the guardianship, which they are not.
I was told when my husband came back he did not care for other people and their feelings, I was told that bumping shift to shift was a rare and very hard occuruance and there had better be a better reason than hating being on a shift to do it. I was told that the company and union had the right to decide where a man had to work no matter how many years he had, This is all the things my father in law told me, His friends felt it was so unfair my husband left and served his country should be able to come back and not start from scratch, When my husband first showed me what his rights were in the contract, I thought it was a book he had printed up, just to show me he was within his rights, I was always bought up the employer had a right to decide everything. So I had trouble understanding how a company with a union worked, His father said he would do anything to get off of 2nd shift. I was pumped full of this for six months.
Then when my husband returned one of the first things that I saw within two days of his return was him putting a bump in to go to first shift, and this pretty blond mother crying on his fathers shoulder about how my mean husband was going to cause her to miss out on her daughters life.
For many years latter everytime my husband tried to better his position a similar situation would be bought up, I was at a point thinking my husband came back not giving a care about other peoples needs, so I did my best with sex denial to help others, then I watched him not back down to his local union and four men one night and absolutely tear them apart without remorse, There was no attempt at negotiation, there was very loud no I am taking the job, then my husband called them gays, In 2001 that was a big insult, They jumped him, I had never seen my husband use the combat arts training he had, He destroyed four men in under a minute, One was the man that wanted the job This man was the son of a county commissioner. He was fierce, remorseless, the counter attack looked almost designed to inflict maximum damage. After 13 years several of these men still have trouble.
But Now I am finding out that my husband was being used by his father as a person to enable everyone else, his father made this statement yesterday, He told my husband. Why was sex so important to you that kept pressuring your wife, After all priests live a full and rich life in service to others, Why could you not be like that, My husband said a short but true statement, That is the life they chose it is not the life I wanted. I served under water for 970 days in three and a half years, I accepted being treated like a prisoner in escape and evasion school, until you sleep two months on a cement floor you don't know haw hard it can be. I was supposed to do less than half that. I have jumped out of perfectly good aircraft, Hung out of the side of a helicopter being drug through trees all in service.
So tell me who served the most, That snot nosed jerk you wanted to get the new job, He never served others needs he never served his country, just because his father was your friend. All he ever did was knock up three girlfriends and not even pay child support, The girl that came over and cried on your shoulder about the mean evil military returning man keeping her from her daughter. You should have asked how often she was spending the evening at a sports bar with her boy friend leaving her daughter with her mother,
My husband managed to make us feel pretty small. I have known for some time that what was being done to my husband was wrong, but now he wants to bring he pain for the past, .I want a truce. I want to at least talk now. My husband wont agree to anything any one else wants He has been abused and in pain to long, He has not been out of pain on a personal level since the MRSA set into his spine, his immune system is gone, but for a man who was not supposed to get out of a wheel chair, he shows what obstinate really is by walking, His personality wont let him back off now.
On the reverse coin we can't back off either, He has not been involve in the family that much for 32 years, Yes it was our fault, but there are not any social skills left, He scares people when he walks past, they fear he might fall,
I understand there has to be a middle ground but both sides don't want to go there, most of my father in laws friends are frankly snobs, They wont understand my husbands no booze, no pot, no non prescription drugs, and no firearms rules, His father says its a party they have a right to these things, My husband says if he doesn't need them no one else should in his home. They look down their nose that my husband considers himself a democrat and stand against special privilege for wealth and position, My father I laws fiends are heavy tea party and the conversation turns to politics, he makes then feel like fools most of the time.

I'm so sorry.

It sounds like a real mess.

Again, it isn't your mess.

This horrible family dynamic will continue until your husband's father (I'd guess) pushes him too far & somebody gets killed.

One bright spot, one encouraging thing, is your husband's stance on drugs & alcohol & his refusal to yield to his father's pressure on these things.

Again, have the party in a safe place, & I must add at this point, warn your husband that his father has tried to get you to drug him;
he deserves to be warned; anybody would deserve to be warned.

I don't know one thing about a 'guardian' divorcing someone who's bi-polar, but you might want to investigate it.

I wish you, both of you, the best.

What a freakin mess.
Your husband is damaged, I suspect too damaged to ever be really right again (and I don't mean physically). Why the state would feel he is a suitable "guardian" for you is beyond me. Please investigate this asap because it may well be that you are no longer required to have a "guardian" and you really should get as far away from this man and his dysfunctional family as you can. I would think that they can only worsen your own mental issues.
Don't let your FIL and his scaly mates come over for July 4. If they plan on stirring up trouble, you don't want them there. Let them play as much as they like somewhere else. Be firm and let them know your husband is aware of their dirty plan and is on the warpath, so it would be in their best interest to stay away.
But do do some serious investigation into how you can get away from this appalling situation, for both of your sakes. Take care.

Doesn't matter what they tell the police, you are the one drugging him and if it kills him you are the one that will go to prison.

Personally I would get some money out of the bank and get on the next bus or plane out of town.