Hi Aggierose Your question is one that I've asked myself as a new pond owner, as well as millions of others. An outdoor fish pond is not like an aquarium in which you can stroll up to the glass and see your fish. As experienced fish owners had once given me advice and millions before them, have patience. Your fish can feel the vibrations of your footsteps through the water. This in itself with a new enviroment will freak fish out. It will take a long time before your fish become accustomed to your shadow and your vibrations. I've had my pond for a year and a half, with daily work, I finally got them to hand feed. My advice is to sit on the side of the pond, on a rock or chair when you have allot of time. Grad a beer or glass of wine, possible a good book and relax. When you do start seeing your fish, remember any sudden movement such as a flick of the arm to throw food will scare them. It's almost as a hunter waiting for their prey. I used to thumb flip a pellet or two so its available to them. I hope this helps...Craig

Sherry, The two biggest offenders are Ducher and Marchessa Bochella. IÂve had Ducher for 6 seasons (5 ½ years) and MB for 5 seasons (4 ½ years). Both are BS prone in my garden and lose most of their leaves. Ducher responds a little better to spraying (but this year I had a lot going on and couldnÂt keep it up on a regular basis) JBs like both and Ducher is a thrip magnet. I used to have two MBs but dug one out but decided to keep the other to give it more time. Ducher almost left this spring but he was bushing out so nicely, I decided that he deserved a second chance. I like that Ducher smells like grapefruit to meÂI really like grapefruit and itÂs decidedly not a typical rose smell but IÂm just underwhelmed and would like to use that spot for something that might do betterÂitÂs in the VERY front of the yardÂclose to the street. I love the fragrance of MB and when she blooms, I want to forget the UGLY foliage (and lack thereof) but sheÂs in the front garden, too. Of course, this year wasnÂt a stellar year for my garden. When IÂd fertilize, (just basic 10-10-10), the weeds seem to love it and the roses seemed to just take it in stride and sulk. I know the drought was a big factor but there was very little I could do about that until later in the summer when I did increase their water. To be honest, IÂm a little discouraged (but that isnÂt stopping me from buying a few new plants while theyÂre on sale). My wife doesnÂt want me making the garden biggerÂI can mow the grass in a little over 30 minutes but could never weed that quicklyÂweeds have been a big problem this year. I ask the question because I donÂt want to rip out some plants that typically take a while to get established and then they are stars in the garden. (IÂm giving Perle dÂOr more timeÂshe is still so small but seems to want to bloom. BS isnÂt a big problem and neither are thrips or JBsÂat least not as bad as others). Abe Darby is moving to the back garden. I love his blooms and the fragrance and will just live with the defoliation when he is hidden in the back. Sorry for the long answer to the short question. Jeff

I really hope you have been in therapy or at some point will get some.I have been through similar things (although probably not as bad) I was also molested (by a cousin).In my teens I was pretty promiscuious and got mad when people called me a slut because I didnt think I was.In hindsight,I know It was a reaction to all I had exprienced. My mom kicked me out of the house alot and always put her loser boyfriends first too.They never tried anything with me,but were alcoholics and abusive to my mother. My relationship with my mom and sister has been a disaster for the last 15 years.Neither one of them has been there for me at all,and have only made my life more stressful. So I finally went to therapy because it was causing all kinds of problems.Severe anger,depression,anxiety...I learned alot.My therapist said it was more healthy for me to not have them in my life.Of course,they make that impossible,but I have learned to shut them out more and not let them interfere with my life. I think you are doing the right thing.Obviously your mother hasnt changed if she still has Jack in her life.Dont justify your mom's actions by saying you were supposed to help her have a better life.You didnt ask to be born.And unless your a moron,everyone knows having a baby doesnt make life easier! I'm really surprized you turned out so good considering.I have too only because I try to do the opposite of my mom at all costs. Just think how it good it felt to get it all out here.If you had a therapist you could really dig up those issues and even free yourself of all (or at least most) guilt. If you cant afford it,most counties have some kind of free mental health plan.Or on a sliding scale of much money you make. My husband has kinda saved me too.He has been the most stable person I have known.He has put up with alot from me because I was so "flighty" when we met cuz of all the drama.I essentially went to therapy for him,because I didnt want him to have to constantly hear about it or put him through any grief. It sucks to have a crappy family life.I'm sorry about all you have been through.But in a way it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

Sherry, I hear ya! I never want to kill anything, so I hope I'm never overrun again. This time I got lucky with the weasel. Oh, I believe you, bkay. Coyotes are determined hunters so who knows what it was after when it broke into the bus station, or if it was sick or why it did that. Jon, I was searching for a solution, but I never thought of LF for rats, so I'll file away those ideas in case I need them in the future. I have a good sense of smell so the putrefied egg might drive me from the property, lol. I'm relieved nature worked in my favor this time. LOL, Josephine, I read that wrong. That coyote must have been hunting in the scrub. :) I've never heard one close up like you did, but I have heard a rattle snake in some tall grass. That was enough to convince me to change directions FAST. gregbradley, what a small world. My old place where my cat was chased right up to my door was Upland! You sound like you're higher up than I was. I was below Baseline so it was only bad when we had a couple years of drought. The drought is much worse now than when I lived there so I can imagine they're coming down looking for food. We had a/an opposum in the yard once, but not all the other animals you have. My brother is in Valencia and a coyote killed his much loved cat :-( He would love that you got two of them with your baseball bat....which means they got very close to you. Be careful out there!