I do only have things I love. It has not always been that way. I think we may become more selective and less willing to compromise as we get older. I just don't want to waste my time with things that are just so-so. Now, that does not mean that I don't sometimes compromise with DH if there is something he really likes. However, most of the things he likes that I don't have been relegated to his office at this point. ;) Mostly, we like the same things and if he isn't sure, he eventually comes around when he sees whatever it is in place (modern LED lamps for instance).

Mostly I use things I love or like a lot. I also often end up with nothing until I find the "perfect" thing. For example, right now I know my fireplace needs something. It has needed "something" for years. I am still regretting not buying a piece of artwork years ago that I loved for the space. I didn't think it was in the budget, and still think about it today.

Having said that, two of H's family members were artists. Much of their artwork has ended up with us either as gifts or after they died. Because those things are important to H, I've learned to love them and find a place for them. There are a few of the pieces I might have chosen, but I would not originally have chosen much of it. The piece that was a wedding gift will always have a place in our home.

I only have things I love... and/or know to be useful! :-)

Life's too short to settle for "okay"...

Conversely, life is too short to be searching for love in home furnishings. I need a place to work and a place to sit and a place to sleep and a place to cook and eat. I'm cold and want to block drafts TODAY. I need to cook and eat multiple times a day. Do I have to hold out until I find "the one"?! We're talking a lifespan of only 20 or 30 more years here.

No, I don't love everything. Some things belong to my SO. Some things were given to me and I love the person who gave it to me. Some things belonged to my family. Some things I have out of necessity.

I don't buy new placeholders or things to make do, if I can do without though. I have two dining room tables, and I only had one dining chair for years. I think as long as you have a mattress, a desk and one reasonable place to sit per person, you actually Need very little else, so the rest can wait.

I have changed the way I look at things. I am making an effort to get things I truly love. When I see something, I am getting it now and worrying about where it will go later.

I have been searching for things for a certain spot, and ending up with nothing.

To a degree, but time, money and lack of interest often restrict me from the great hunt. If I like something a lot that's enough and I also never want to get too attached to things.
Now, if it's something major, I will put a lot of energy into finding something I love but I want to find something fairly quickly once I start the hunt.
No waiting years (for me) on major things.

Pal wrote exactly what I was going too. My Dh moved here from england and (luckily) only had a few large pieces and a few knick knacks he brought across the pond with him, but the ones he has mean so much to him so I,though I do not love them, keep them in my design. My mother enjoys picking out gifts for my house she thinks are perfect:)and I keep them and even learn to love them because I love her. My six year old loves to decorate and do so in a style very much her own but She lives here too so this house express all of our loves:) and I think that is what makes it a home rather than a show house and I do love that. Balance is the key for a happy home and family:)

No. Like Pal, I have things that were given to me by people that I love, but I don't love the item.

We move every few years, and so that affords us a good opportunity to weed out things we don't like. However, we do need things like a kitchen table and chairs, even though I don't love the ones I have.

At my age (70's), I have what I particularly like - yes, life's too short to worry about it, and if it's not "right", who cares? Once I started getting rid of stuff that was just okay, found I didn't miss it at all, and it gets quite easy! Salvation Army loves me, lol!

I'm not one to shop at Pottery Barn or Home Goods for decorative accessories. Almost everything in my house is special to me. It's filled things we've collected on our travels, inherited, or been given as gifts. I also have a DH who brought his own things to the marriage. I'm sitting in my family room right now, and there are only a few things that don't have a personal resonance. I bought an antique rice measurer at an antique store to fill a space, and while I really like it, it's not something I inherited or bought in China. KWIM? There are also a few generic planters and vases, but otherwise, everything is special to me or DH for one reason or another.

Oh! I don't love the coffee table in our family room. It's one of those things that came with DH! He has no attachment to it either, and we have plans to replace it, but other more pressing things always seem to pop up.

Purely decorative items, yes, I'd better love it or there won't be a spot for it in my home. Practical items, though, are welcome if they are super functional or comfortable.

I just bought an oil painting for my DR after looking for just the right thing at the right price for years & years. But I am still using the cast aluminum patio chairs I bought 4 years ago as a make-do until I can find some dining chairs that I like. The patio chairs are roomy, light as a feather, indestructible & so comfy that I'm in no hurry to find real dining chairs. Might look odd to some, but they work so very well.

No but wish I did. Like others, I've just ended up with empty & unfinished spaces because I couldn't find the "perfect" item.

Sometimes I think I should just buy Ethan Allen's Room-in-a-box and be done with it all.

J

I try to. When we bought our first house we had no dining room furniture. The room stayed empty for nearly two years until I found a table I loved. I still love the table 13 years later and it has worked in 3 houses and a temporary relocation overseas.

I *try* very hard to only buy things I love, or at least really, really like. Unfortunately sometimes a few years or decades later I don't love it so much but it sometimes takes awhile to find something I like better to replace it (if it's something that is essential). I've been editing my house for a few years so there is less I don't love. However, there are still some things I will replace when I find something else I like better. Overall, I like most of what I have and like the eclectic mix I've created.

I've embraced the concept that there is little perfection in anything so I don't agonize over my house not being perfect.

I think having some "givens" to work with, that are a spouse's, that are from family, were gifts, or things that are an imperfect fit--are the kinds of things that keep rooms and houses from being too precious. A little bit of "off" gives character.

I'm not into loving my furnishings but I like most of the things in my house. I don't think I'm quite as fussy about stuff as many here though. So to me it's okay that the bedroom furniture we bought many years ago is not what I would buy today. It's decent quality and serves its purpose. I'm not about to buy new just because I don't "love" it. I don't buy things just because they "go" with a room though. Most decorative objects in my house are antiques that caught my eye.

I try not to buy many things that I don't at least like, but love is such a strong and fleeting word.

I loved the living room rug when I bought it. Love the colors and pattern, but after living with it a while, it shows every fleck of dust and cat hair we generate. Do I still LOVE it? Meh.

Loved the kitchen dining set when I bought it, but it doesn't fit well in the current house, so it's uncomfortable to have more than 2 diners at a time. Still love it? Eh.

I love a lot of my accessories, but I'm finding that many spaces in our home look better with fewer-but-larger accessories. Could I love something bigger? I bet I could.

We're all here because we have some interest in decor, whether it's needing to solve a problem of aesthetics or function, or we just want something new and different, or we want our homes to look their best -whatever that means.

But to love everything in the box is like expecting to love everything about your partner or spouse 24/7. It's just too much to ask, and doomed to failure.

My DH and I both come from generations of families that didn't throw furniture away - they simply stored it. Each generation gets to pick from the stored stuff, and in the fullness of time it all arrives in UHauls after the estates are settled. Fortunately we have six large barns to stow it in!

Our sibs all belong to the "only what you love" school of decorating choice. (As I'm sure there were children in previous generations who also preferred to buck the trend and buy new things, or who moved very far away.)

But luckily both of us are temperamentally of the use what you have approach. I have only bought two or three pieces of furniture in my lifetime (and I'm in my 60s) - and those were all 75 to 100 years old. I simply use what I have. I don't get really invested in decorating trends. I adore color; I like comfort; I like that my old furniture has been in the family for years. So I just recover, refurbish, rearrange and reassort the stuff I have whenever I get the urge to redecorate or update my rooms.

I think expecting to love everything, or striving to find and attain only things you "love", in your house sounds like a very stress inducing goal.

L.

Bumble said...
"To a degree, but time, money and lack of interest often restrict me from the great hunt. If I like something a lot that's enough and I also never want to get too attached to things.
Now, if it's something major, I will put a lot of energy into finding something I love but I want to find something fairly quickly once I start the hunt.
No waiting years (for me) on major things."

Me too.

I used to want everything done, done, done like right NOW because I knew we'd eventually start a family and I figured whatever wasn't done would no longer be a priority. It took quite a few years, but I'm happy to say it's finished enough to my liking. That's not to say I don't make small adjustments but the main areas are finished and I make a point not to pour over decorating books and magazines,etc. so that I'm not influenced.

I used to try and force things to work (mainly accessories) but learned it turned out much better if I just decided to exercise patience and wait a bit. I'm not drawn to most mass produced stuff anymore and many times now I'll buy something I love with no immediate place for it and it seems to work out. I do wish I had more areas for accessories but there's only so much space and too much looks cluttered and over done (in our home).

liriodendren my favorite decor is the generational look you describe.

Reminded me of this episode in This American Life on NPR on a guy's 18 year search for a perfect sofa.

Here is a link that might be useful: Searching for the perfect couch...for 18 years

"Some things were given to me and I love the person who gave it to me. Some things belonged to my family. Some things I have out of necessity..."
Ditto!~
Sooo happy that you said this, Pal. This is my story/challenge. I hope that you are right and it just adds character. I try really hard to add these pieces to things that I love and hope I've created a welcoming home. :)

There is one color I cannot like. Try to incorporate when given as a gift, but never works. One is a treasure of memories and very hard not to place it out in the open. So, yes I stay with what is "me". There is also a boxes of memories, hoping the kids will relish them. My daughter for her grandma's most likely. And youngest son for his stepfather. Sometimes it is very difficult to know these things are hidden and not shared. How do those of you posting bring them into the decor? I could put them in their gggf's old trunk in one of the bedrooms to let them go through and enjoy the memories.

Nope...there's a lot I love but probably a lot more that I like that I've inherited. DH's family had a city apartment and the old house on the place where we live now. He also had a widowed GM and an old maid aunt who had a place in NYC. My family had a home in FL and a place where I grew up. After Dad died, mother sold the place where I grew up and moved into a condo which she refurnished.

So we ended up catching literally everything from all the apartments and houses and condos. We did a lot of sorting, selling, giving away and trashing but I still have an attic that looks a lot like a good will store and the barn is full of furniture.

Plus my tastes have changed some over the years, so I've learned to incorporate some of the stuff from all the old places and tried to arrange them to make them my own. And I have stuff I can't get rid of though I have no place to put it, and I have stuff DH wants to keep that I have no use for...an amalgam of other peoples' stuff, some of which I love.

I've been getting rid of things that are just "so-so" in my house for a year or so now. Most of the items were in my attic because I'd already realized they weren't important to me. I can't believe how much of a shopper I used to be, but now I've gotten to where I can't stand the thought of buying something just because it's cute or because it makes a pretty vignette in a mail order catalog. I think that's something that comes with age, time, and experience. When I was twenty and just starting out with my own place, I needed things to fill it, but now that I'm 46, I have more things that I've collected over the years from traveling or that have been passed down from a grandmother, mother, or aunt.

I see decorating blogs online and they're so filled with the latest home fashion ideas. I wonder what they'll do with all that stuff when something else becomes the fad. Sort of goes back to last week's discussions on good taste and authenticity. One of my favorite interior design books is Monica Kossan's "Living with What You Love."

I used to feel bad that we never inherited anything from our families, but now I'm feeling pretty good about it!

Most of what I decorate with is stuff I love, or at least like a lot. The problem is that I'm pretty fickle, so what I loved three years ago isn't always what I love today. And, some things are what I "like enough" within a certain budget. For the most part, though, as I've gotten older and wiser, I have replaced most of what was "good enough because it was cheap at Home Goods" with things that are more meaningful to me. (Not that there's anything wrong with Home Goods!) I probably have more doodads and tchotchkes than most people, but they are really all meaningful -- souvenirs from trips, gifts from friends, kids' artwork, unique finds from flea markets, framed photos. I have pared down about as much as I can and there's still a lot. But for me, it works.

One thing we made a conscious decision about years ago was buying original art. DH and I both just aren't thrilled with framed prints that anyone can buy online or at Target. "Real" art (which doesn't always mean expensive art -- some of it is our kids' art) really does thrill us. And it is really the only type of home shopping that DH is interested in, so we have fun poking around in galleries, open studio events, and art fairs.

Ahhh-- I agree with all of you! I see that we are coming from many different backgrounds and budgets, which definitely affects things, I think.

My DH and I do not have generational items. If I had 6 BARNS full of stuff, I'd never have to buy anything again. :) Both of our mothers are still alive. The only family items I have are a side table, a set of my husband's childhood books, and my grandfather's painting. Those will never leave this home!

We also have 5 young children. Their "stuff" is in most rooms, so, for example, even the board books don't look elegant in the living room, I have no intention of moving them or giving them away. I also try to limit the amount of toys they have, and buy beautiful ones (like a handmade wooden dollhouse instead of a plastic one).

DH and I are not collectors, other than his few boxes of comics. I do not have many knick-knacks at all. People gave some to me, but I got rid of them in my 20s. They held no real meaning to me and I see knick-knacks as mostly clutter, which I do not like. I am going to get a few as I now have a few places which need them (built-ins in the DR), but I am going to take my time.

I am also not one to follow trends. While I do appreciate modern style, I think one must have a lot of time and money to keep up with the latest, and I have neither. I tend to buy only vintage or antique, save for items like bookcases. (Too hard to find the right size for my room, and too $ most of the time.) Ditto for sofas, because my DH would not like that!

My major items (furniture) will like stay around for a long time, because they are styles I have loved for ages. It's more the few details . . .purchased when I needed "something" (we still do not have proper end tables-- never have!).

I also very much agree with limiting the time of the "hunt." I want to be done. I guess this is actually more the point of my question! Sometimes, I look for things to match instead of focusing on what I love. Now, when I see something I love, I am just going to get it, and worry about where to put it later. I find that since I tend to be loyal to my tastes, I will likely love it forever.

Case in point: I was looking for lamps for my mantle. I found lamps that would go, but they were verging on tacky, even though from the '20s. My DD took one look at them (online) and said, "Those are UGLY!" She was right . .I thought, I am going to go just by my instinct (heart) instead of my mind.

I am going to get things I LOVE for little things, too, whereas I was normally 100% functional in those areas. I am not talking about replacing what we have, but rather, when I need something, it will only be with what I LOVE. We do not have room for many decorative items, so I will bring in things that make me smile with function.

If I had the $, I think I would be done looking, on the whole. I see plenty of things I do love, but they are way beyond my tiny budget!

Somewhat. I won't say that everything accessory, etc. in our home, I "love", but it pretty much all has meaning to us. Like Porkandham, I am not one to go to a store and just buy something and stick it in my house. Things are more collected and a reflection of us and our life. My husband and I both share a love of antiques and enjoy finding unique things for our home.

tina

If I had 6 BARNS full of stuff, I'd never have to buy anything again. :)

Well that's the problem I have...it's so hard to justify buying something new given we already have more than we know what to do with...but then I see that thing that I think will look great over here or I just want to update sometimes with something fresh in the space...something that looks modern. But I can't buy it without guilt.

We have acres of candles...my FIL who was never known to do anything in moderation, found this cheapy store in NYC that had candles at real bargain prices so he went whole hog. But the colors are UGLY, many are not in pairs, or they're the wrong size. DH has a conniption every time I buy a candle ... but I need to get the right ones. Sigh. So even candle shopping is riddled with burdens.

And sometimes, I just want my own stuff...not somebody else's....YKWIM?

Like Annie,
"... that's the problem I have...it's so hard to justify buying something new given we already have more than we know what to do with...but then I see that thing that I think will look great over here or I just want to update sometimes with something fresh in the space..."

Now that we are older and out of the acquisition stage, needing and wanting to live better with less, I find I am less motivated to work on my house. If I were perfectly honest, I'd have to say that I don't love this house the way I loved my previous one, but I love some things about it, and I love the neighborhood and our much simplified responsibilities, so my endless designing and refining is on hiatus for a while.

But there are still things I've always longed for, and waited for the right one to appear at a manageable cost, so I guess I'll never be finished, really!

For the most part yes. If I don't it goes on Craigslist and I find something I do love.

In general, I do use things that I enjoy in my home. I've always tried to put together a cohesive look no matter how low my budget because I feel happier when I'm living in a harmonious (to me) environment. If I have to make a choice between style and quality because of budget constraints, I'll choose style.

I don't want to have layers of decorative items on my horizontal surfaces. I love the way it looks when it's done well, but I didn't inherit a collection of beautiful whatnots nor have I collected anything like that. Also, I don't really like to dust. I do love and collect the things that make up table settings like linens, china, glassware and flatware, but those stay out of sight except when I'm setting the table.