I think that you dig a little deeper into this situation, and that you should definitely get a counsellor involved. You admit that your house was not "in order" when you met him, but that rules were established after he arrived. You don't say anything about the relationship between him and your kids. You also don't say anything about life in your home. How do they treat him? Are they warm and welcoming, or do they resent him for setting limits? What is the atmosphere in your house like? Is it a fun and happy place? Are the kids joking around with Step-Dad, or are they sulking and complaining? This man is willing to live alone for three years to wait for you, so he must have strong feelings about you and your marriage - yet he can't bear to live in the house with the kids anymore. I am sure that there is more to this story. It would be worthwhile talking to a counsellor so that you understand better what life is like for him. I must confess that I have some sympathy for your husband here, because my husband is always telling people that his kids are "good" kids. If he wrote a post on this page, all the parents would jump to his defence, But he wouldn't tell the whole story. My stepson has PTSD and ODD and he tantrums just about every day and goes days without taking a shower. My stepdaughter has clinical depression (probably bipolar), OCD and an eating disorder. They are rude, completely miserable and their behaviour made our homellife a living hell. By the end, I didn't want to be around them either. I am a devoted parent, and I spent 7 years doing my best to raise his kids, but there reached a point that life was so unbearable that I needed some respite. Could your husband be in the same situation? Maybe you need to look for other options with the help of the counsellor. Is there any way to get more respite at home?

I am not being used as a chauffer or babysitter. I offered... it was my decision. I saw it as helping the two of them see each other more often. But I guess then I didn't realize the harm that it could be doing. As for mom, she is kind of a strange parent. It seems as though a lot of you women have a strong maternal instinct and wouldn't even let your DD SM pick your daughters up. However, BM has asked if I could pick up her daughter (we meet in the middle of our houses) because it was more convenient for her to drop her off at that time. If we don't accommodate her schedule she often tells us then she won't be able to drop her off at all. She's never around to receive her daughter either. Most of the time dad brings her with her grandparents because mom isn't around. This weekend was a perfect example. Mom told us she would receive her daugther at 6pm on Sunday. She called and told my BF that she left town and wouldn't be able to pick her up until Monday sometime, and that either she would pick her up with dad at his work or mine. HAH. So dad didn't go to work in the morning because mom decided she had better things to do than pick up her daughter, and he ended up bringing his daughter to her grandparents because mom wasn't answering her phone. Sometimes she leaves to the beach for the weekend and decides not to come back until Wednesday, leaving her daughter with her parents, and no one to bring her to school. Not very motherly if you ask me. As for our relationship, it's fine. I am not getting involved in baby momma drama... we see each other, say hello, everything's cordial, then we talk about the girl, say goodbye no name calling as far as I know etc. I never say a bad word about her mother to anyone.. ever. As for my bf we met 11 years ago in the US. I came here to Mexico to be with him a year ago. Maybe I use the term soulmate in a way you don't understand. I know I could find someone else if I wanted to. I don't. I'm here to stay with this man and this girl. We may not be married but we are committed to each other as if we were. We are talking marriage... and it will happen some day. What else... oh to answer a question dad and mom divorced when daughter was 2.5. Sooo... 1 year and half before I showed up into the picture. Their relationship sounds like it was verbally and emotionally abusive, probably from both parts but she also sounds like she was physically abusive towards him... but never to their daughter. Dad never had a serious girlfriend after that before me. I don't think dad ever introduced any women to his daughter before me either. But I don't know that for sure. As for the bed thing, I know. Dad and daughter used to sleep in the same bed before I arrived. I think it's weird. So when I came into the picture and she was over on the weekends, dad had daughter sleep in the same bed as us. I put a quick stop to that. NOT OK. I expressed to him that it's uncomfortable and he talked with her, though I don't think he really understands why it's a problem. He sometimes asks if she can sleep with us still... I don't understand why. As for this weekend little girl was throwing up and had a bad temperature in the middle of the night so she came into the bed in the early morning so dad could keep an eye on her. I didn't think it was inappropriate in that case. I don't want to be an in your face sm. I honestly feel like dad is trying to force the situation and really I was over doing the favors just to try and get to know the girl and make it easier for them to see each other... to be nice. I know that I need to back off now. Anyways I left and did my own thing on Saturday and part of Sunday and when I came back things were much nicer. I think the girl does like me when she wants to see me, but I was around too often and intruding on daddy daughter time. Today she was very talkative to me, sweet... gave me a little kiss goodbye and they left. I think I found my answer. I agree with the playing house thing being a rush, I'm not moving out now... so I have to find other ways to fix this. To answer someone's question it is not the house of his previous relationship... and when I say house I mean apartment.. a small one. I think it's kind of hard to stay out of each others business when we are all there... leaving is probably necessary to give them proper alone time.

Adding my sympathy and tears, AK. I lost my almost 15 year Brittany Sam in Feb. 2015; he was the smartest dog I have ever seen, and so happy. Sam greeted each day by taking a squeaky toy in his mouth, holding his head high, and marching through the house squeaking his good morning happiness. I know his time had come, and as hard as it was, I know that I was doing what was best for my sweet boy. The vet and I both cried, as he had grown up with her as his vet. As Faron says above, I knew that it would be an honor to Sam if I adopted another dog that needed a home. I did just that last May when I did my first transport for the rescue org. I'm involved with. Everything lined up and it was just perfect when they needed me to foster her temporarily. When she gave me a face full of kisses as the previous driver handed her off to me, I knew I wanted to make her mine. Two days later I learned that I could adopt her. Before my late dog-loving Dad died in 2007, he had hospice care at home. They gave us a booklet on what to expect to see him do. We were ready when Dad started looking at the ceiling, especially the corners, and said, 'They have dogs up there.' Mum and I smiled, knowing that he'd be fine, and he'd see his past dogs there, as stratfordroad's beautiful sign above says. When we lose a beloved pet, we wonder how we can go on, but a day will come when you think about Maddie and smile, thinking of the wonderful years you had with her.

Thanks Andy... Am hoping they will still magically manifest ( been Busy Praying to the Patron Saint of Geographically Challenged Plants and Demi Gods Du Jour ) Meanwhile Maxne said she will call her post tomorrow..Hopefully will be able to glean some pertinent particulars as to the plants' current whereabouts .( Otherwise might have to get out my Hardy's Boys Detective Kit >> the Botanical version)..Hmmn Am wondering,,,, Since there is a dearth of details other than" Preshipment" , would this necessarily indicate that the Hoyas never shipped, or could they have left Thailand yet never made it to the US ?? or did something go awry after arriving to the states ( ala Post Traumatic Address Disorder.) & were last seen heading to the nearest train tracks with a handkerchief and a stick clutching a partially congealed map of Venezuela...