You can borrow him but make sure you send him back... there's LOTS more pruning to be done and I don't like having to mess with it. LOL He's pretty great when it comes to things like this though... although I didn't want to prune the dogwoods just yet I saw no real harm in getting them out of the way as there was some sort of white fungus growing all over the branches. Once he did cut them all down (I was there supervising and helping to pull out the 10-15 ft long "branches") I noticed just how big the stumps were. There's only two shrubs there but they will more than likely come back a lot stronger next year. I bet they'll start growing in before winter actually.... I'm not worried about bloom time anyways as this variety doesn't have real pretty blooms. I was the one that pruned the dead wood off the Rose of Sharon as when I let him at it he cut off about 12-13 flower buds. They haven't opened yet and I'm sure a lot of the reason this old tree isn't doing the best is because of those dogwoods.... now that they're gone it should do much better. When it comes to our gardening there are quite a few things that both of us like and only a few that he likes and I don't like or vise versa. So, we're pretty compatible at least as far as gardening goes.. ;-) But seeing as I'm the one who really is deciding what plants are selected I let him choose what he likes and then I pick from there. We've been married for just 8 years now but so far things seem pretty good... if I could just get him to prune at the proper times of the year though... that would be nice. :-) ttfn Mystic.

Holy smokes, Jess, I'm glad I checked in again. You look like a little garden gnome among the giant plants. Looks like you will be all set for Halloween. I will have to post a picture of my one and only tomato plant. Poor thing. It has three tomatoes on it. One the size of a marble and two ping pong balls.

Well, thank you all for the comments. I don't think I really made myself clear, though. Probably because (as Asolo so smartly pointed out) I was kind of wallowing in self pity last evening. I do that. Wish I didn't. But I do. I was not actually asking for a solution. I made promises when I married and I take those very seriously. And I've done the math here for quite a few years. Yes, it's lonesome. No, it's not what I had in mind. It isn't even what I had reason to expect when I married this time. It wasn't like this in the beginning. But I have no intention of leaving. I have a lot invested here - literally. When we married I was the one who had a house and that went a long way toward buying the place we have now. If we split up, so does this place and it's all I have. Half of it isn't enough to keep either of us in rent. I went through one horrific divorce and came out with something (not much but something). But that was southern CA and that's a community property state. This isn't and what we have isn't worth nearly that much. So, for practical reasons alone, I won't leave. My ex is now a millionaire and I will have to work until I drop. (sigh) But I do have a home. It's not fancy or worth a lot of money but it's rural and private and pleasant and I like it. Besides that, I don't hate my husband. Far from it, in fact. I am just very disappointed. And I get very lonely and sad. I guess what I wanted from this post was a bit of encouragement. I read so many posts by women who seem to be in similar situations...I just thought that there might be a bit of comfort. Well...just goes to show, doesn't it? If I knew how to get what I want I wouldn't be in this mess. A few of you seem to have gotten the impression that I am happier alone than when my husband is home. That is not exactly right. I do enjoy the time I spend by myself because I get busy and work in my garden or do some chores around my house. I enjoy that. But not the way I would enjoy an affectionate spouse. I would much prefer to have his company IF I felt that he really wanted to be with me. That is the part that troubles me. He spends so much time elsewhere that it seems to me that he would rather be someplace else than with me during the short times I am home from work. If he doesn't WANT to be with me...well...I don't want to inflict myself on anyone. I only meant that I don't just sit and cry when he isn't around. Or, for that matter, when he is. I make a HUGE effort - usually successful, I think - to be upbeat and positive. I don't complain or pick fights. I try very hard not to give him reasons to want to be elsewhere. And for the short times he is with me he doesn't really seem miserable. He just doesn't treat me like a wife but rather like a roommate or a casual friend. I can only assume that it's enough for him because he is definitely setting the pace here. But it sure leaves me feeling rejected. I do value the (somewhat unexpected) advice you all have given, though. Thank you all for your concern and suggestions. "From what you've written, it seems to me you're living in wishes. This is your life. You've only got one of them. Act. If you don't, you'll be 58 next year and nothing will have changed." Asolo, you are always wise. Not always tactful - go ahead and laugh - but you do cut through the brush. You are quite right. I am living in wishes. And you are right that it's pointless. What I need to do is figure out some way to more fully enjoy the life I have. I don't really expect much change from the outside but maybe I can change what I am wishing for. Still, I think that the desire for a kind word -a hug now and then, I friendly glance, a compliment - is a real human need. If you are fortunate to have those things you probably don't even give them a thought. But imagine for a moment if you didn't have any of them. If the "thank you" at the fast food window was the friendliest thing you would hear all day...might you not even write a pitiful, whiny post online at night hoping for something more? Pathetic? Yes. But understandable, I think.

LOL....I always tell Denny that pots and pans are divorce causers....then look him straight in the eyes and tell him..."Don't buy me pots and pans for a gift".....Gifts to me are supposed to be something I want and if I need pots and pans they are a need....not a want. We get a big laugh out of it...because I have gotten them for gifts way too many times in our nearly 43 years. Last year for our anniversary he bought me the Cannon digital Rebel...and a few years before that he bought me Playstation 2....Those were completely unexpected and I was thrilled with them. I guess I might be a little weird. We went out last year and bought new big fryers and I love them..And now I need a big pot or two. I'm glad you are really happy with them... patti